Bojji Clawthorne 10/6/2023 12:07 AM

Kk

Like for example

12:09 AM

Mfs been saying the curve I got on my Hot Dog

12:09 AM

Ain’t good enough

12:09 AM

When people been saying it’s good

12:09 AM

Nah I’m playing lmao

damn that conversation in the general chat really took effect on the server

12:12 AM

ok am I the only one getting ghost pinged

Ye

Man

3:08 AM

I remember I looked at my dms

3:08 AM

And people said my curve was bad

3:08 AM

But more of the DMs said

3:08 AM

My curve was good

3:08 AM

Cause it went up

your curve?

Yea

3:09 AM

They said the curve was bad

3:09 AM

I thought I did my roads

3:09 AM

Pretty good

3:09 AM

I put the turning signal

3:09 AM

And shi

3:09 AM

The ramp

3:09 AM

To another curve

3:09 AM

Yet they was bad

Maybe get better

(Also this was gonna be a gay joke)

3:10 AM

(But you joined so I had to convert it to a SFW joke)

Ha

(Cause you’re 18)

3:10 AM

So yeah

Glad I can ruin your fun

That’s mean dude

3:11 AM

How dare you >:(

‍♀️

:c

Why :c

Tired and bored And tomorrow isn't going to be a good day for reasons I'd rather not talk about

Well, what are options to do something?

No options Got tired of game Dogs are sleep People are sleep

pigeon._._.

No options Got tired of game Dogs are sleep People are sleep

All games? Or do you only have one? (Or only one that your interested in)

I have more Just not interested in the others tonighy

Hm. Well I wish I could help, but sadly, I can't unbored you

7:02 AM

7:03 AM

I wish I could help :c

It's cool Thanks for asking And replying

It's cool

7:03 AM

I'm here if you need me

7:03 AM

:>

hello

10:38 PM

life is very stressful rn (edited)

10:38 PM

and just not great in general

10:41 PM

so yay

Oh I’m sorry I didn’t see this :<

11:22 PM

hugssss

11:22 PM

It’s gonna be okay

Help

and just not great in general

Sorry I was away, what's going on? (edited)

ClownMan

Sorry I was away, what's going on? (edited)

a lot of things

12:12 AM

mostly loneliness and flashbacks of childhood trauma and abuse by my parents (edited)

Gotta love having fucked up parents

pigeon._._.

Gotta love having fucked up parents

and brothers

12:19 AM

and cousins....

yeah I know how that feels

yeah

12:20 AM

i wish i can talk about smth here but idk if its a bit too much

12:21 AM

its related to sexual abuse

Hmm As long as you put a little trigger warning and maybe hide it like you just did that should be fine

okay

If it helps you to speak about it

trigger warning everyone this is gonna include sexual abuse

12:22 AM

i think it would

12:22 AM

anyways

12:25 AM

i keep getting these flashbacks about trauma that happened to me and the most recent one i just got a few minutes ago and if its true and really happened then my mom molested me when i was a kid, but i am unsure if it actually did happen but if it did it would make so much sense in the timeline of flashbacks im getting and this flashback just feels so real but again it could be that it didnt happen im just unsure

the brain can create false memories, but trauma tends to be the one thing it's great at remembering I've got memories of things happening to me at a very young age

me too

12:30 AM

this isnt the first memory of sexual abuse i got from when i was young, but this is the only one im unsure if it did happen or not

12:31 AM

the rest i very clearly remember and can very confidentally confirm happened to me (edited)

If you're that unsure, it's best not to dwell on. You've got enough trauma to deal with as it is

how can i not dwell on the very real possibility that i was molested as a kid

12:33 AM

sorry

12:33 AM

anyways aside from that and abuse currently going on its just loneliness man (edited)

12:34 AM

loneliness has been eating me from the inside so much

Help

loneliness has been eating me from the inside so much

Me too, had all my friends dump me a year and half ago.

12:35 AM

It's rough

ClownMan

Me too, had all my friends dump me a year and half ago.

my only irl friend ghosted and dumped me a year ago as well

12:36 AM

it is indeed rough (edited)

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

:/

12:37 AM

shit

12:37 AM

man that must hurt like a bitch

It do

Help

it is indeed rough (edited)

That's why I want this place to be a good place to be

im sorry for ur loss

his loss

ClownMan

That's why I want this place to be a good place to be

thats really kind of you :)

I don't really got anyone, so I want this place to be as good as possible

i only got a few online friends and we dont really talk much

ClownMan

I don't really got anyone, so I want this place to be as good as possible

but you are a really good person

Thank you

np :3

So are you!

awwww thanks

I would post stuff about me here, but I want to help others first cutei

you can if you want rn i kinda said everything i wanted to say

12:42 AM

so you can talk abt urself rn

Eh, nrn, I'll wait till I'm feeling a little more depressed. It comes in waves.

oki up to you

12:44 AM

what does the '(friended)' next to my name means

Hm

12:45 AM

I wonder

Help

what does the '(friended)' next to my name means

Ay! Friends!

12:45 AM

sorry im slow lol

12:46 AM

is like a 'level' or what

12:46 AM

but yay!

Not a level

so like its smth mods custom add?

Just a part of your nickname

12:47 AM

So you can be reminded you got friend

:D

c:

:>

:3

Alright this is too much positivity in sadge now go on get Scram!

lol sorry

Is joke

ik

K

did u draw ur pfp?

God I wish

oh lol

it's from an old web comic

is that from scott pilgrim? (edited)

12:51 AM

idk why the art style reminds me of it

Ey they're kinda similar But no This is from either 3 simple doods or Kid and teenagers, can't remember which

12:53 AM

Z-doodler or z-toon is the artist

o oki

my pfp is Chris My baby boi

oki

ClownMan pinned a message to this channel. 10/10/2023 7:38 AM

I'm really not doing well

Don’t worry man

10:52 PM

You’ve made it this far

10:53 PM

You can pull through

Last year some kids in my friend group were bully me online and irl. They're moms didn't care bc they didn't like me ether. And my best friends that I had know for 8 years refused to help me. Then they started to treat me like shit, till eventually, they sided with the ppl who were bully me. They never even tried to help me. I lost all my friends, I've been alone for an entire year and still don't have any irl friends. I'm so scared to be alone. In the past, I've lost friends just from the fear of losing, that fear that, one day, I won't be friends with them, scares me.

11:06 PM

On top of that, I'm not even happy in my own house, I have a dad who genuinely hates me. He always has some combination of disgust and disappointment for me, mostly bc I'm not that masculine and me and him have completely different world views.

11:08 PM

I'm 16 teen yet I can't really get a job due to helping my disabled mother with my siblings. I'm pretty much stuck at the house yet I don't even have my own room bc I share it with my little brother.

11:09 PM

I'm sorry for dumping this, but I really don't have anywhere to trun.

I’m sorry to hear that.

I feel like this year is the year of loss bc my friend of 4 years just ghosted me and i caan feel my best friend since i was 3 is starting to fade away in our friendship

Thank you for reading :')

You know it sucks having friends for me its like im invisible when i try and ask for help or ask what im doing or what not even to my parents i feel invisible. The only way for them to notice me is to. Well. Be a fuck up it's the only way they even bother looking at me. I haven't heard a single person say " Boy im proud of you" no i get "your useless" "fatass" "kill yourself" "shut the fuck up boy" "I'm going to fucking kill him" "im going to kill you" "you stupid mother fucker" " you are so lazy get a life" " why do you even bother trying " " Boy your a disappointment " so on and so forth

4:35 AM

Yes i am refered to as Boy

4:36 AM

By my parents and family

4:36 AM

And sorry as well for dumping this but i really have nowhere else to go

I suppose I might as well say a few things and get them off my chest too.

I feel yah, man. That's the same kind of shit my dad does.

ClownMan

I feel yah, man. That's the same kind of shit my dad does.

On top of that my dad sees me cry i get called a pussy so i hardly ever cry so i got that going for me to (edited)

For most of my life, I’ve kinda been dealt a bad hand. I never really had a chance at success from the get go. When I was born, both of my parents were 17, and both kicked out from their homes, so we lived in a old shack with no heating, insulation, water, or electricity. It was so bad, the front door didn’t shut good. My mother was already battling multiple mental health problems, with the most notable being BPD, bipolar, and clinical depression, and me being born out extra stress on her. By the age of 3, I was attacked by a dog. Screwed me up bad. I’m not physically deformed, but I have a feeling it’s caused lots of trouble for me. It had the immediate effect of forcing me to relearn how to walk, talk, and such. Around 5, my brother was born, and I was effectively thrown aside. My parents never had time for me. It was work, eat, take care of the youngest, and sleep. I hardly ever got the attention I needed when I was growing up. I never learned how to express my emotions as a result. 8 years old is definitely the worst year of my life. Most of which, im not allowed to get into, due to the rules, but I was seriously mentally scared, even to this day. Because I was ignored so much, I frequently got into life threatening situations. Usually, it was drowning, but sometimes it was fire, or crashing a four wheeler. I nearly died 7 times. My family also tends to just be rude. There is no sense of family bonding, or care for eachother. It’s all gossip, bickering, and fighting. Constantly making mean little jabs and comments at each-other, so I’ve resigned myself to my room. I hardly leave, or interact with others. I’ve become, in as many ways as I could, a recluse.

5:12 AM

I would like to describe what my 8th year was like, but I can’t. So if you’re curious, you can dm me. I’m not afraid to share.

Butter Brawler

For most of my life, I’ve kinda been dealt a bad hand. I never really had a chance at success from the get go. When I was born, both of my parents were 17, and both kicked out from their homes, so we lived in a old shack with no heating, insulation, water, or electricity. It was so bad, the front door didn’t shut good. My mother was already battling multiple mental health problems, with the most notable being BPD, bipolar, and clinical depression, and me being born out extra stress on her. By the age of 3, I was attacked by a dog. Screwed me up bad. I’m not physically deformed, but I have a feeling it’s caused lots of trouble for me. It had the immediate effect of forcing me to relearn how to walk, talk, and such. Around 5, my brother was born, and I was effectively thrown aside. My parents never had time for me. It was work, eat, take care of the youngest, and sleep. I hardly ever got the attention I needed when I was growing up. I never learned how to express my emotions as a result. 8 years old is definitely the worst year of my life. Most of which, im not allowed to get into, due to the rules, but I was seriously mentally scared, even to this day. Because I was ignored so much, I frequently got into life threatening situations. Usually, it was drowning, but sometimes it was fire, or crashing a four wheeler. I nearly died 7 times. My family also tends to just be rude. There is no sense of family bonding, or care for eachother. It’s all gossip, bickering, and fighting. Constantly making mean little jabs and comments at each-other, so I’ve resigned myself to my room. I hardly leave, or interact with others. I’ve become, in as many ways as I could, a recluse.

God, I'm so sorry for you. I really wish I could help. Are you at least doing better now?

Eh, as good as I can, I suppose

5:40 AM

Can’t say I’m ever doing good, but it’s not like I’m doing really bad either

Well, I hope your at least on the right track for things being better. You've got this, man! :)

Sure hope i do

5:42 AM

We’ll see how things play out

5:43 AM

I don’t think life can get much worse, but I’ve been wrong before, ya know?

I know what you mean. Personally, one of my favorite sayings is, "when you've hit rock bottom, the only way to go, is up"

5:45 AM

It helps me get through rough times

I see things a little differently than that

In what way?

ClownMan

I know what you mean. Personally, one of my favorite sayings is, "when you've hit rock bottom, the only way to go, is up"

My friend tends to say “if you think you can’t go lower than rock bottom, you can always start digging”

5:49 AM

If that makes any sense

I can see that

5:52 AM

But going off the the same line of thinking, only you can go lower. It's always good to do something to keep your spirits up. Like exercising! Or at least, that's what helps me.

hey @ClownMan

3:31 AM

i hope youre doing better now

3:31 AM

yeah what youre going through is tough

3:32 AM

but you can pull it off and you will find good friends that will actually be by ur side

Thanks, it means a lot. :')

np :3

3:32 AM

we can be friends if u want too

we're already friended. :]

true :)

Okay, I need to vent a bit

4:10 AM

So I posted some of my drawings on Reddit and someone commented on my post that I traced, which I didn’t. And I said the truth, that I just eyeballed the drawing from my phone and just drew. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT F%CKING COMMENTER SAID?! THEY SAID “MK”, THEY didn’t F#CKING BELIEVE ME!! I AM TRYING TO JUST POST SOME OF MY DRAWINGS ON REDDIT TO TRY AND MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER ABOUT MY DRAWINGS, AND THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY TO ACCUSE ME OF TRACING WHEN THEY PROBABLY CANT DRAW AND DAMN STICK FIGURE?! THEY ARE STUCK IN MY HEAD NOW AND ALL I WANT TO DO ITS JUST RIP THEIR DAMN STOMACH OUT!! F*ck, that felt good.

4:10 AM

I’m sorry about my rant and how I felt while typing

4:11 AM

I deeply apologize for what I said

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Thank you, I really needed that.

Yw, as long as you're having fun and practicing Fuck what people think

pigeon._._.

Yw, as long as you're having fun and practicing Fuck what people think

Yeah, I really needed to rant, thanks.

:3 >:3

Using a reference is good for your drawing skill

4:29 AM

I used to use a lot of references

Every major artist I know that isn't absurdist or doesn't do abstract uses references

Exactly

Okay, so I have to vent about something.

2:01 AM

So me and my boyfriend are happy in our relationship, at least I think so, and I haven’t messaged or chatted with him since early Friday. And I feel terrible for it, I mean I just messaged him today and he said it was fine, but I just feel terrible. And I know I should trust him, and I do!! But I just feel like I talk too much, or that I sometimes annoy him, or that I just overthink too much. I mostly feel like I talk too much, because I type and talk a lot, and my bf say’s respectful and polite response like “okay”, and “it’s fine” and “hello/hi”. Meanwhile I’m typing out a whole paragraph just to describe what I ate for breakfast, I’m not blaming him, I’m blaming myself for what’s happening. I talk too much and overthink too much.

Was he like this when your relationship began?

Butter Brawler

Was he like this when your relationship began?

Yes, he has. He’s always given good short/medium responses to my long messages

Then I don’t think it’s anything to worry about

2:04 AM

He just sounds like he’s not very expressive, which is a lot like me

2:04 AM

The only difference being that he struggles to express through words, and I struggle to express through facial features and tone of voice

Butter Brawler

He just sounds like he’s not very expressive, which is a lot like me

Yeah, you’re right. I’m just overthinking again.

It’s ok, I do that alot with my bf too

Really? If you don’t mind me asking, about what?

Well, just today, he said he wanted to talk, but I was playing with friends and didn’t respond for about another hour

2:06 AM

I texted like crazy, cause I was scared he was angry, or wanted to end things

2:06 AM

Turns out, he just burnt himself on accident

Yeah, well I’m kinda like that. He sends a message about wanting to roleplay or just to chat. And sometimes I’m just busy, and other times I’m just too distracted and I don’t even notice he’s send a message until later.

2:08 AM

And I also send messages with me just immediately apologizing and saying that I’m sorry over and over again

2:08 AM

Im just scared that he’ll leave me if I don’t give him the attention he deserves

Im the same way. My previous relationships made me jumpy to the slightest thing I do

Yeah well this is my first serious real relationship, and I don’t want to ruin things or mess things up, that’s why I overthink and apologize if I didn’t immediately message him back. (edited)

Last night, he was upset about his friends ditching him, and getting scammed when trying to buy an original PlayStation He was clearly upset, and the entire time I couldn’t shake the feeling it was something I done (edited)

2:10 AM

I got so nervous, I made myself sick

Butter Brawler

Last night, he was upset about his friends ditching him, and getting scammed when trying to buy an original PlayStation He was clearly upset, and the entire time I couldn’t shake the feeling it was something I done (edited)

Well, it wasn’t your fault though? It’s not your fault he got scammed or that his friends ditched him

I know, but the entire time I was upset with myself for not being able to help him in any way

Butter Brawler

I know, but the entire time I was upset with myself for not being able to help him in any way

I mean were you there for him? Like being there with him and talking with him?

And with the stress of last week having weakened my mental state, I was kinda irrational

im lonely

I mean were you there for him? Like being there with him and talking with him?

I did all I could, but it didn’t improve his mood at all

2:12 AM

Felt terrible for not being able to help

Well maybe he just needed some time to himself. I mean you helped him as best as you could and sometimes being there with that person is helpful. I’m new to this whole relationship thing, but from what I’ve seen and heard, maybe he just needed some time to himself. Is he better now?

Yes, he’s much better now, but only because we both decided it was best to just forget the whole ordeal

2:14 AM

I offered to leave him be, but I didn’t want me to

2:15 AM

He wanted me to be with him, but it didn’t seem to make any difference

Well maybe your presence was enough to make him feel better. He may have not seem better, but maybe mentally he was better?

I couldn’t tell

2:16 AM

The way he spoke was

2:16 AM

Cold

Well, like I said. I’m new to this whole relationship thing, but too me it seems that maybe he was just better mentally than physically? I mean, I don’t want to assume anything about y’all’s relationship or anything like that, but after what you’ve said. I just feel like he was better mentally with you there than physically.

I think it was because I decided to just ignore it completely, and encouraged him to do the same

Yeah see, to me it just looks like he needed advice, and that advice YOU gave him helped him to feel and get better. To me it seems like YOU helped him more than you think. (edited)

I think you are giving me too much credit

No what I think, is that you’re just underestimating yourself. I mean, you said that you forgot about it and YOU gave him the same advice to make HIM feel better, and he did. HE took YOUR advice, and he’s better now right? I just think you’re underestimating yourself too much.

I don’t see it the same way

Well that’s okay to. All I’m saying is that I think that you helped him more than you think, but again. I don’t want to intrude into your relationship.

I just don’t see myself as that useful to that situation

2:25 AM

I feel like his recovery was more thanks to him, and less to me

Okay, let me ask a question. He was angry because he got scammed, do you know how he was before you got to his house, or whatever?

No, hadn’t spoke to him much before that

2:28 AM

Just a good morning text

Hm, well I was gonna say that maybe he was more angry before you got there. And when you got there, he got less angry and more calm, and I’m sorry but I’m gonna keep repeating this. I just think you’re underestimating yourself too much.

Im not underestimating myself

2:30 AM

Im just generally unhelpful (edited)

Well, I’m sorry, but I just don’t see any other way that you’ve been unhelpful. Too me, you’ve been helpful to him, so. Im sorry, but I don’t know what else to say.

Eh

You’ve been helpful. After what you’ve said, you’ve been helpful, at least I believe so. :3

I don’t see it the same way

2:33 AM

I just can’t

And that’s okay, you don’t have too, but I think you need to talk to someone more experienced in relationships than just with me.

2:34 AM

Take care of yourself:3

I’ll take care of myself I suppose

Good

Don’t wanna make my bf upset after all

3

2:37 AM

You matter

LowTierGod

im lonely

Click to see attachment 🖼️

Art outta nowhere

He out here lurkin

omnigoddylan [Lvl. 0]

LowTierGod

Bro with his once a day message

Yup

So when can we start kicking people who haven't said anything since they joined

They’re probably just shy

People do that in thus sever?

is joke I wasn't gonna

pigeon._._.

So when can we start kicking people who haven't said anything since they joined

Never

6:59 AM

Just get people to start talkin

We can try pinging them and saying hi or smth instead of straight up kicking them

pigeon._._.

is joke I wasn't gonna

Oh lol

I might be a shit But not an ass

I think you’re neither

Hm Thanks

I am really on that imposter syndrome rn lol.

im lonely

Click to see attachment 🖼️

Saving that

you're valid

pigeon._._.

you're valid

Thank you

Don't ever let those thoughts take over If you're ever feeling like that Dm me or just about anyone here

pigeon._._.

Don't ever let those thoughts take over If you're ever feeling like that Dm me or just about anyone here

Don’t worry, they won’t. I’m very good at fighting them. I’ll definitely speak to you if I need someone to talk to though. Thank you for offering.

Anytime

hello

9:42 PM

today wasnt stellar

9:43 PM

just about an hour ago someone did something to me that really fucked me up (it would probably break the rules if i say what it is) (edited)

9:43 PM

i just feel like shit

Awwww I'm really sorry :<

9:46 PM

hugs

hug

It's gonna be okay

hopefully

Hope the rest of your day is better yus

Help

hopefully

It will trust

i doubt it will but thanks

Help

i doubt it will but thanks

Only the future knows that for sure

sorry for being too negative i just feel like crying this is like the 5th time smth like this happens to me (edited)

Nooo don't be sorry this is the vent channel for a reason and you have reason to be negative

9:49 PM

But just try not to dwell on it, that can only make things worse

im trying but i just keep getting memories of when it happened last year

Help

im trying but i just keep getting memories of when it happened last year

I'm sorry, but def keep trying to not linger

thanks

9:52 PM

for helping

Np :>

9:53 PM

I'm here if you ever need the help

thank you again

^w^

hello

3:07 AM

i just had an argument with someone and i dont feel great

What was it about

0_N30

What was it about

so like i was showing him some boykisser drawings i made and he asked if i am a furry or not

3:27 AM

and i said i am leaning into it a little but still not there

Ok

3:28 AM

Was that the argument?

no i just had to do smth im back now

3:29 AM

anyways

3:29 AM

he for some reason asked if i am sexually attracted to boykisser

3:30 AM

and i was like no then he said 'BUT ITS A FURRY, A FURRY'

3:30 AM

then he kept reinstating this point

3:30 AM

and i told him 'thats like saying gay people fuck every guy they see this isnt how this works'

His point is kinda stupid

like so far it doesnt seem like an argument to you right?

0_N30

His point is kinda stupid

ik

It sounds like hes just being annoying

yeah but like it still didnt sound like argument

3:32 AM

and i also was under the impression that this was just a conversation

Yeah

but then out of no where he said 'okay fuck you, literaly everytime we talk we argue'

3:32 AM

LIKE OUT OF FUCKING NO WHERE

3:33 AM

and then the actual argument started

3:34 AM

its a long story but basically he was pissed because i was trying to force him to accept my opinion?????

3:34 AM

and said that he is saying facts but then i asked what did he even say that was facts then he said he didnt say anything was facts

Its not even an opinion at this point

and i got pissed at him too for cussing me out like this out of no where and told him that he is like my ex where if i dont agree with everything he says he gets pissed at me and then he got even more pissed cus i compared him to my abusive ex and then said i am an asshole

3:36 AM

and now he stopped responding

3:37 AM

i probably shouldnt have compared him to my ex but i was just pissed cus this was just like the behaviour my ex used on me

3:40 AM

i hate this (edited)

Is this someone like important or just like someone

no he is important to me

The argument was kinda dumb

3:44 AM

Like what does he not get

idk

3:47 AM

but he is also going through shit too

3:47 AM

it could be just stressing him out

Oh that too

ye

You should keep some space because you said he is going through some shit

yeah tru

How do I not have socks I literally just did laundry

I'm about to go through some shit and might need someone to talk to after. If you're cool with that let me know and I'll dm you when it's over

Alr

I'm here if you need me

Im here as well

Me too

Im here

pigeon._._.

I'm about to go through some shit and might need someone to talk to after. If you're cool with that let me know and I'll dm you when it's over

you can dm me

@pigeon._._. you alright?

Help

@pigeon._._. you alright?

Thank you for your concern

pigeon._._.

Thank you for your concern

you can vent to me if you want im all ears

I'm good But thank you

I need to vent about myself real quick, y’all don’t have to respond, I just need to vent.

4:17 AM

Okay so, me and my dad went to my brothers softball game, but the other team, only 6 members showed up, so my brothers team automatically won, and they were just messing around and playing against each other, and I asked if I could join and they said yes. So I stepped up to the plate to bat, AND I MISSED EVERY SINGLE TIME!! Everyone was watching me miss every single time, they watched me make a fucking fool of myself in that field. I just feel like fucking shot and like a fucking disgrace, both my older brothers and my mom played baseball and softball, you’d think I’d at least get some good baseball genes, but no!! I’m a fucking disgrace and disappointment to my whole fucking family, and not only that. Other people were watching me!! My damn uncle and aunt were there too, and my cousins!! SO NOT ONLY DID I MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF AND DISAPPOINT MY FAMILY, I ALSO MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF IN FROMT OF OTHER RANDOM PEOPLE!!

You know stuff like that takes practice

4:20 AM

You can't just be good at something without trying

4:20 AM

Like me doing cad

4:20 AM

Or welding

4:20 AM

Ir construction

4:20 AM

Or electrical

I’m in the baseball class of my school, my older brothers both have been teaching me baseball since I was 6, and I’ve been going to my moms softball practices for years.

4:21 AM

I’ve been practicing and playing baseball with my family since I was 6 bro

Don't beat yourself up you can fumble

You’d think I’d be able to hit a damn softball after years of playing

Its ok dude

Yeah I know it is, but I just can’t help but feel like shit

I get it

4:22 AM

Like when i played football

4:22 AM

I was good i played for years

4:22 AM

Till it mattered

4:22 AM

I started playing like shit

4:23 AM

Felt like a disappointment to my family

4:23 AM

A disgrace to my school

Yeah, you’re right. This shit just happens in life

4:24 AM

Thank you

Np dude im always here to talk

I feel like I'm growing into my profile pic

How so?

I just hate people sometimes And it feels like I've been having that feeling more and more recently

Me too man, me too. The best thing you can do is find a place like this (hopefully) where they are nice to you. That's what is helping me.

Pretty angry rn

Why?

It’s a long story

I’m listening

Ok, maybe it’s not that long lmao

If you don’t want to say it, than that’s okay to

I kinda do but I also kinda don’t. Can I talk to you about it in DMs?

If you want, but depending on what you’re venting about, I might not be that much help.

Ay, I'm still here if you need me. yus

ClownMan

Ay, I'm still here if you need me. yus

Have you been here this entire time?

No, just got back 15 minutes ago.

Ah

I'm normally watching though.

Oh hey clownman

im lonely

If you want, but depending on what you’re venting about, I might not be that much help.

True, it’s not that deep though hehe. At least not in any philosophical sense or anything. One thing about me is that my personal issues are very minimal. Usually when I’m upset it’s because of something that happened externally. This instance being a prime example. (edited)

0_N30

Oh hey clownman

Hello

A dolphin in wolfs clothing

True, it’s not that deep though hehe. At least not in any philosophical sense or anything. One thing about me is that my personal issues are very minimal. Usually when I’m upset it’s because of something that happened externally. This instance being a prime example. (edited)

Okay, well. If you still want too, you can dm me

ClownMan

Hello

Hows it going man

A dolphin in wolfs clothing

True, it’s not that deep though hehe. At least not in any philosophical sense or anything. One thing about me is that my personal issues are very minimal. Usually when I’m upset it’s because of something that happened externally. This instance being a prime example. (edited)

And I might be able to help

A dolphin in wolfs clothing

True, it’s not that deep though hehe. At least not in any philosophical sense or anything. One thing about me is that my personal issues are very minimal. Usually when I’m upset it’s because of something that happened externally. This instance being a prime example. (edited)

You alright?

Like a 50/50 chance I might be able to help

im lonely

Okay, well. If you still want too, you can dm me

Sure, one more thing though. I need to make sure you’re fit to vent.

0_N30

You alright?

I am, just a bit frustrated, angry and disappointed.

Oh that’s not good

1

A dolphin in wolfs clothing

Sure, one more thing though. I need to make sure you’re fit to vent.

Fit to vent? What do you mean? Like if I can be able to take the venting without like it affecting me or something?

im lonely

Fit to vent? What do you mean? Like if I can be able to take the venting without like it affecting me or something?

Ye i think so

im lonely

Fit to vent? What do you mean? Like if I can be able to take the venting without like it affecting me or something?

Yeah, and a few other things. I’ll just ask you a few questions first to make sure.

Okay

0_N30

Hows it going man

Eh, I want to do a lot of feminine stuff, but can't. You not believe how much I want that right now.

ClownMan

Eh, I want to do a lot of feminine stuff, but can't. You not believe how much I want that right now.

Oh I’ve been through that a lot

It comes I'm waves, though right now, It feels like I could explode.

It took a while before i got my first pair of programming socks

ClownMan

Eh, I want to do a lot of feminine stuff, but can't. You not believe how much I want that right now.

I also want feminine stuff, like skirts and stuff, but I’m afraid my family would find out, and I’m too fat for feminine stuff.

1. How many people are you receiving vents from at the moment? 2. What kinds of stressors (if anything) do you experience in your daily life? Rate those stressors and their impacts on your well being from 1-10 3. Do you suffer from mental health problems? If so, how much do they effect you from day to day? Do you feel as if you need support for these problems? 4. What responsibilities do you currently have? Are those responsibilities taking up a lot of your energy and time? Do you think you have the time to fit this into your schedule? (edited)

A dolphin in wolfs clothing

1. How many people are you receiving vents from at the moment? 2. What kinds of stressors (if anything) do you experience in your daily life? Rate those stressors and their impacts on your well being from 1-10 3. Do you suffer from mental health problems? If so, how much do they effect you from day to day? Do you feel as if you need support for these problems? 4. What responsibilities do you currently have? Are those responsibilities taking up a lot of your energy and time? Do you think you have the time to fit this into your schedule? (edited)

1. None, I help people with their vents as they post them, and I help as I can. 2. Social anxiety, and being judged, both on a scale of 8/10 3. Does social anxiety and shyness count? If so, sometimes one day and not the other. And no not really. 4. Losing weight and passing my classes. No not really, and it’s currently 2 in the morning where I’m at, so I’m not currently doing anything at this moment.

im lonely

1. None, I help people with their vents as they post them, and I help as I can. 2. Social anxiety, and being judged, both on a scale of 8/10 3. Does social anxiety and shyness count? If so, sometimes one day and not the other. And no not really. 4. Losing weight and passing my classes. No not really, and it’s currently 2 in the morning where I’m at, so I’m not currently doing anything at this moment.

Ok, that seems fine.

9:27 AM

We can talk

A dolphin in wolfs clothing

We can talk

Okay, and like I said. I might not be much of help.

Life's a real pain, isn't it?

11:42 PM

This year i saved like 5 people from suicide

11:43 PM

From just chatting them out of it

11:43 PM

Now i need help

I’m here to help if you want someone to vent to, but I might not be much of help.

Deleted User

Now i need help

Taking care of others is a noble thing to do, but don’t ever forget that your life is just as valuable as theirs

11:45 PM

If you ever need it, seek help, or ask for somebody to find you help

And that's a fact

11:46 PM

I dont really need "profesional help" i just need some company really

11:46 PM

Otherwise there is a itty bitty chance that i will go insane

11:47 PM

No in a littelar meaning

11:47 PM

But still

Deleted User

This year i saved like 5 people from suicide

Give me your talent

3:13 AM

Wish I was even slightly good at helping people with their problems

3:13 AM

But I have a tendency when I don't know what to do to rely on philosophy

3:14 AM

Which in my mind I know is valid, cause suicide and why we should live is very philosophical, but I also think it's not what the person need

Stardust

Wish I was even slightly good at helping people with their problems

For me, i feel like the best way to help somebody is to just be there and listen

5:11 AM

And give them your honest opinion on things

5:12 AM

Somebody in a position like that needs the truth more than anything

Needs but not always want

5:13 AM

And I do try to be honest and straightforward

The truth is harsh, but everybody has to face it

5:17 AM

Lying would only make the situation worse

I disagree

6:52 AM

But this ain't the philosophy or debate channel so I won't explain why cause I'll feel pretentious as hell

Idk if this counts as a vent but everything I hear something from pre 6th grade (minecraft theme, dantdms intro, etc) I break down realizing that basically all the good times I had will be gone from memory :/

It sends me back into thoughts I want to forget

Same

8:49 AM

Popularmmos was my shit back in the day

8:49 AM

He's in jail now.

8:49 AM

For abusing wemon.

"You can't count on anyone, especially not your heroes"

I'm glad Dan never turned out bad

Butter Brawler

For me, i feel like the best way to help somebody is to just be there and listen

Exactly!

vent sounds

AMONG US???????

uh

8:54 AM

Yss

8:55 AM

Yes

8:55 AM

My favorite gif of all time

It's pretty great

8:55 AM

Grate

8:55 AM

Like

8:55 AM

A vent grate

8:55 AM

✊️

8:56 AM

Tiny fist

So, I don’t really like getting gifts right?

2:26 PM

So on my birthday, or on Christmas, I basically don’t ask for anything, except for stuff that’s absolutely necessary for me, that I can’t afford alone

2:27 PM

But, I finally found the one thing I wanted for Christmas this year!

2:27 PM

A nice, simply designed, sleek and limited edition deep rock galactic hoodie for only $30 (edited)

2:28 PM

It was the only thing that I actually, honestly wanted because I liked it

2:28 PM

Not to replace something, not because I need a new one, but because I genuinely liked it, and wanted something new

2:29 PM

So, I the link and 30 dollars to my mother for her to buy

2:29 PM

I expected her to get it within the two day deadline because she is very fast about it, and we didn’t have anything expensive coming up

2:30 PM

Imagine my surprise when I get a message a full two weeks later that I didn’t get the one and only thing I wanted for Christmas because she forgot about it

2:31 PM

And that, compounded on top of already having a miserable day set me off

Butter Brawler

Imagine my surprise when I get a message a full two weeks later that I didn’t get the one and only thing I wanted for Christmas because she forgot about it

Damn

2:31 PM

That's a genuine bummer

2:31 PM

At least she didn't spend the thirty dollars on something else so

2:32 PM

However much it sucked not to get the hoodie on Christmas, you still got the money the buy it

That’s the thing, it’s off sale

2:32 PM

I sent it to her with two days left to buy it

2:32 PM

She waited two weeks

Bruh

2:33 PM

That's a bit of an ass move

2:33 PM

I mean, you did tell her that the hoodie only had two days left of being just thirty bucks before they hiked up the price, right? (edited)

Anytime my brother asked her for something, she bought it for him within less than two hours. I had no possible reason to think it would have taken her two weeks to even look at the thing I sent her

Ah

2:35 PM

Ok, in that case, you are definitely not at fault for not telling her

2:36 PM

I mean, not that you would be if that was different

2:36 PM

You're practically still the bearer of the consequences of the unfortunate lack of mindfulness on your mom's part.

The thing that pisses me off is the fact I never ask for anything, and the one time I do, I get completely screwed over

That I understand

2:38 PM

In fact, it is reasonable to feel angered for that

2:38 PM

I for one did not find that to be such a difficult task to achieve, especially since shopping has been reduced to a mere engine search, item selection, and a few clicks

2:39 PM

It could very well be that the very menial nature of such shopping has made her dismiss the urgency of buying that hoodie for you, and in effect, forget about it before she could even buy it for you.

Silly Vixen

It could very well be that the very menial nature of such shopping has made her dismiss the urgency of buying that hoodie for you, and in effect, forget about it before she could even buy it for you.

Doesn’t quite explain why she immediately purchases whatever my brother, or any other member of the family, tells her too

Oh, absolutely

2:41 PM

Please don't take my comments as some way to excuse her action

2:41 PM

I'm merely trying to provide reasons for this particular course of actions (edited)

Im not quite in a position for reasoning

Well, that's understandable

2:43 PM

I'm pretty darn sure you loved that hoodie, and seeing it not be within your reach, when acquiring would have been downright insultingly simple, would make anyone be considerably upset

And this is the reason I have trust issues

2:44 PM

I refuse to let anybody do anything for me in the slightest

Well, unfortunately, such incidents may happen

Because there is always that chance that they’ll fuck it up harder than I ever could

And do often happen to many people, including you

Butter Brawler

Because there is always that chance that they’ll fuck it up harder than I ever could

Have you ever had anyone you could talk openly about these issues and views?

Only my boyfriend, and even then, im cautious with what I say to him

Because I am pretty sure this isn't the first incident of someone forgetting something you found to be important

My relationship with him is the most valuable, and I couldn’t risk ruining it

Silly Vixen

Because I am pretty sure this isn't the first incident of someone forgetting something you found to be important

It happens all the time!

2:46 PM

No matter who I buddy up with, or who I ask for a favor, they manage to screw it over to monument amounts

2:47 PM

The only thing I can think to compare it to, is somehow crashing a car into the 10th floor of an apartment building

Geez

2:47 PM

Their faults screw you up that badly?

Often times

I mean, to keep your comparison, you literally need to stunt straight into some giant ramp at 200+ kph

2:48 PM

Just to reach around fifth floor

You ever had your best friend help you with a project about the periodic table, only for them to make their half about hotwheels, and make your already low grade turn into a failing one that you couldn’t repair within the final week of school?

Butter Brawler

You ever had your best friend help you with a project about the periodic table, only for them to make their half about hotwheels, and make your already low grade turn into a failing one that you couldn’t repair within the final week of school?

How the fuck does that even happen???

2:50 PM

Who is the maniac that looks at Wolfram and selenium and shit and goes: "Oh, I know! Fucking car toys and ramps!"

2:51 PM

That's madly nuts

I confronted him about it and he went “it’s the last project of the year, I just wanted to have fun”

2:51 PM

That dick cost me the entire damn year

2:51 PM

And summer break was hell because of that

Geez, no wonder you're done with trusting people

Im done with people regardless of context

If I had that sucker, I would have went to jail

2:52 PM

You don't just fucking "have fun"

2:52 PM

When grades could fuck your life plan up at the snap of fingers

2:52 PM

Jesus Christ

2:53 PM

Did you at least manage to solve with that summer school?

The rest of my classes were just barely good enough to avoid summer school

2:54 PM

But my home was my own personal hell

You cannot tell me that your parents blamed you for failing the class??

I nearly collapsed from heat exhaustion 8 times

Silly Vixen

You cannot tell me that your parents blamed you for failing the class??

They are the kind of “I’m big, you’re small. Im right, you’re wrong.” Kind of people

Butter Brawler

They are the kind of “I’m big, you’re small. Im right, you’re wrong.” Kind of people

I'd personally slap them

I’d end up with a broken arm

On no

2:55 PM

Not as you

2:56 PM

I'd be damn willing to rock a boat across the Atlantic just to somersault your parents

2:56 PM

If they still blamed you even though it was Mr. Hot Wheels that fucked your grade

I’ve got better plans in mind for them

2:57 PM

Im gonna get all buddy buddy with them

2:57 PM

Get real nice and friendly

2:57 PM

And just when they need me the most

2:57 PM

Poof

2:57 PM

Gone

2:57 PM

Like I never existed

Damn straight

They better hope my little brother will have mercy on them, cause I’d send them straight to a nursing home

I genuinely would have never thought that I'd know someone with genuinely wack parents

3:00 PM

Seriously, my mom may be all aggressive and shit, but to punish me for some other schmuck's stunt would be well beyond something she'd do (edited)

3:01 PM

I don't think it even crossed her mind, much less bloody mine

3:01 PM

I hope you'll be able to either manage to live by yourself, or with your bf

3:01 PM

Whatever you can afford

I need to be with him

3:02 PM

He’s the only thing that holds me together

3:02 PM

When I say that if it wasn’t for him that I’d be dead

3:02 PM

I mean it

Damn

I guess I should go now

3:03 PM

I haven’t slept in days

Ah, ok

3:03 PM

Please do

I’ll try

3:04 PM

For maybe an hour

I wish you good rest

3:04 PM

And you can always talk to me if you need to, alright?

Don’t think I will, if im honest

3:05 PM

I rarely leave my ‘shell’

That's understandable

3:05 PM

If you don't want to or don't feel like it, then by all means

3:05 PM

Whatever you judge it is best for you

Im not a particularly good judge of anything

3:07 PM

Let alone what’s good for me

You certainly can't be worse than the Hot Wheels at Chemistry dumbass

I dunno

3:08 PM

Im rather harsh when it comes to judgment

At least that means that you are willing to be thorough with it

Or I’m just very unfair

Well see?

3:09 PM

The fact that you are aware of where your shortcomings are is a great thing

3:09 PM

Sucks to have them but better know where you suck rather than be left in the dark

Ignorance is bliss

3:10 PM

I wish I was ignorant

So do I

3:11 PM

But then imagine the damage that we could do

3:12 PM

Unfortunately, whether we like it or not, it is for the better that we are not ignorant

I’d finally feel peace

3:13 PM

Not just with myself

3:13 PM

But with the world

3:13 PM

I want to be alone, in a cabin deep in the woods, unaware of the world around me

Hm

3:14 PM

I mean, sounds nice

I’d finally get to work on myself

3:15 PM

To find out what wrong with me

3:15 PM

To finally find an equilibrium

Would you be willing to hunt though?

3:17 PM

Or, I dunno, gather all the wild berries and learn which are edible?

3:18 PM

Oh, and don't forget taxes

3:19 PM

You still here, Butter?

3:19 PM

Oh, mb (edited)

3:19 PM

Sleep well

Im awake again

3:28 PM

Nightmare

Damn :[

Silly Vixen

Would you be willing to hunt though?

Yeah, I would

3:29 PM

I have entire notebook about the local edible plants, strategies to hunt, and how to make nesscary survival equipment from scratch

3:29 PM

Because im weird

Lol, you really have yourself set for the woods

3:30 PM

So you gonna use the game to pay off your taxes?

Hopefully

3:31 PM

I’ll probably sell things like jerky for taxes

Nice

3:31 PM

Remember: your parents may be a nightmare, but the IRS is Hell personified

Irs can suck it

Buddy

3:32 PM

If Joker didn't intend to mess with them, there's a very good reason that he didn't

3:33 PM

(ok, I also know that the Joker is a fictional character, but still)

That imply I hold any value for myself

Uhmm

3:34 PM

You should?

Nah

3:34 PM

If I die, I die

3:35 PM

Simple as

What about your bf tho?

3:36 PM

He values you

Oh god, now I’m getting conflicted again

Please don't

3:39 PM

You should value yourself

The thing is I don’t

3:39 PM

I only value my bf, and because he values me, I’m having to fight myself over caring about myself and not

If not for yourself

3:40 PM

At least for him

Why must I be so indecisive

Happens to the best of us

My sister just lost all her friends because some fucking park moms. They won't leave us alone.

6:22 PM

God damn it

6:24 PM

My facking family can't catch a break

Bitchass park moms

Bitchass park moms fr

6:34 PM

Thank fuck I live in Romania, they don't exist here

They calling ME racist. All because of one thing I was RIGHT on

Which was

Jaylin walker. He suicide by cop

6:39 PM

Look him up.

6:40 PM

The point is, a at the beginning I said some was suspicious, it didn't seem like police brutality

6:40 PM

And it wasn't

6:41 PM

But they didn't like that I was suspicious. They wanted me to protest on day one for him

There's thousands of other young black men who are killed by police brutality, why not protest for any of them instead

pigeon._._.

There's thousands of other young black men who are killed by police brutality, why not protest for any of them instead

Exactly

pigeon._._.

There's thousands of other young black men who are killed by police brutality, why not protest for any of them instead

I live in Portland

6:43 PM

They want to be on the "right side of history"

6:43 PM

I lost all of my friends bc of this

6:43 PM

Now she is

6:43 PM

They won't leave us alone

The fuck It's not your responsibility to go out and protest If they want to its their choice, but it's your choice just as much not to

Now they're saying I said horrible shit at the park, with other black kids around (which let me be clear, I don't talk politics irl)

6:45 PM

They're just making shit up to make me, a 16 year old, look bad

6:46 PM

One of them harassed my mom in the hospital while she was having a baby

6:46 PM

I'm fucking losing it

Wtf

If that's the case, yall should probably move before things get worse. Had something similar happen to me when I was in school and The beatings only stopped after I moved to vegas

ClownMan

One of them harassed my mom in the hospital while she was having a baby

I wanna come in Portland and fuck them up

We're trying, but we're broke

Silly Vixen

I wanna come in Portland and fuck them up

God I wish I could

ClownMan

We're trying, but we're broke

I feel that

ClownMan

They want to be on the "right side of history"

Also whoever says that shit is absolutely numbskull

6:49 PM

How many times has that phrase been said by alt-right accelerationists or some shit?

The absolute worst part is, one of them is some hippi dippi lady who goes on and on, about ppl care. SHE HAS A YOUTUBE ABOUT IT

6:50 PM

She let her kid bully me because I was "racist"

ClownMan

The absolute worst part is, one of them is some hippi dippi lady who goes on and on, about ppl care. SHE HAS A YOUTUBE ABOUT IT

Report it for harrasment if she was involved in any way with your mom and the incident at the hospital

6:51 PM

Tell the company that she privately promoted harrasment

I'm so woren out

6:53 PM

Thank you for hearing me out :,)

It's oki, man

You shouldn't be having to deal with that shit

Okay, I know I wasn’t on here earlier, but I need to vent.

7:01 PM

So I’m in my schools ROTC program and today we did a parade, and of course we had to be aligned and stuff, but the girl in front of me was not in SYNC WITH THE CADANCE AND SHE MESSED ME UP!! Which made the people behind me and next to me mess up, and since I messed up, I now feel like shit and a disappointment to the other people in ROTC AND the people watching the parade.

How bad was it?

It wasn’t too bad, but it was still bad, like it was noticeable how bad she did and how bad she messed me up

No one said anything right?

7:03 PM

Like did yhey blame it on you?

As a former band bitch, parades were always a nightmare. People mess up and that's just life, you shouldn't dwell on it if you're doing your best

pigeon._._.

As a former band bitch, parades were always a nightmare. People mess up and that's just life, you shouldn't dwell on it if you're doing your best

Ye

0_N30

No one said anything right?

No, they didn’t say anything, I just keep thinking back to how she messed up and made me mess up other people.

Just think how she must feel

Yeah, true

ClownMan

My sister just lost all her friends because some fucking park moms. They won't leave us alone.

So I remembered this after yesterday's panda incident, one of the kids in that group of moms had sent me actual porn.

What?!

He also made of a bunch of racist jokes on steam reviews

7:48 PM

I'll send the pics of the reviews when I'm on my pc, but I'm not showing the porn

:x

The worst part is, I never asked for it

I sure hope you reported their account Also Maybe even show your mom that they sent you unsolicited pornography

Once again, I got kicked out and bullied for a entire year

pigeon._._.

I sure hope you reported their account Also Maybe even show your mom that they sent you unsolicited pornography

I have, we don't know what exactly to do

Yall got a metro police station, or sheriff's office?

I mean, we're both under 18, would that do anything?

Yes

7:56 PM

Yes it would

7:56 PM

It doesn't matter what age

8:02 PM

Here's what he said

8:03 PM

But, I'm the racist one

Yeah, that person if fucking crazy

Eh Just report the little bastards account

ClownMan

Click to see attachment 🖼️

Broo wut

not a bad vent, but i love my gf

congrats nerd

ClownMan

Click to see attachment 🖼️

“Y’all know what I’m gonna say…”

8:33 PM

I think he’s aware

Huh?

Aware that people are watching him

8:34 PM

Do you think he’s got like some internet series where he’s just racist all the time?

I was steam friends with him

8:38 PM

So was everyone else in the group

8:39 PM

He was probably talking to them

8:39 PM

Plus everyone still is friends with him

God, this hit feels like it's crushing me

11:11 PM

It's getting harder to do shit

11:11 PM

It's hard to feel motivated to do anything

I feel the same but I found a way to continue anyway.

From the sounds of it you needed better friends anyway

Well, yeah, but at this point I haven't had any friends in almost 2 years.

You're still in school, you've got time to make more... and you're cool as shit, shouldn't be too hard.

pigeon._._.

You're still in school, you've got time to make more... and you're cool as shit, shouldn't be too hard.

I'm home schooled Asob

12:52 AM

I'm fucked

Damn

12:53 AM

I'm sorry

I've lived here for like 10 years, but I get called racist one time by some haggard old bitch, and all my friends drop me, even the ones who know it was bull shit (edited)

Yep, sounds about right

12:58 AM

We're your friends now

Yup

pigeon._._.

We're your friends now

Thanks

:3

Yup

I forgot what to do here

vent

I don’t understand

Then leave

Thanks for being nice and not giving a explanation

its when you need to get stuff aff ur shoulders

TheTwins92 ec2d

I forgot what to do here

There is no description on the channel, but it seems to be for release

Wait

Teankyn

There is no description on the channel, but it seems to be for release

yep

0_N30

its when you need to get stuff aff ur shoulders

Can't you see old messages?

I can but my brain is fucked up

Context

TheTwins92 ec2d

I can but my brain is fucked up

send

Ever been bodyslamed on a concrete floor and had a seizure

6:12 AM

Yep that happened to me

6:13 AM

I almost was killed

TheTwins92 ec2d

Ever been bodyslamed on a concrete floor and had a seizure

who?

What?! Why?! What happened?!

TheTwins92 ec2d

Ever been bodyslamed on a concrete floor and had a seizure

yes in the secondary school

Stupid shit in the past

6:13 AM

That was years ago

6:14 AM

Basically what happen was I was bleeding internally and my skull cracked

holy shit

Was driving a four wheeler down the road at like 20 mph and hit a ditch, flew into a culvert almost cutting off my arm entirely, and now i got an amazing ass scar and cant feel the top of my right arm

TheTwins92 ec2d

Basically what happen was I was bleeding internally and my skull cracked

are you OK?

Teankyn

are you OK?

it happend years ago i think hes alr now

But for some reason I used to make b’s, and c’s im talking about grades, and now I make a’s and b’s.

6:15 AM

Weird

TheTwins92 ec2d

But for some reason I used to make b’s, and c’s im talking about grades, and now I make a’s and b’s.

Maybe you are no longer distracted?

Still have adhd and slight autism

6:16 AM

But I seem to can’t remember shit that isn’t important to me

Ive heard of people hitting their head and knowing a full other language might be similar to that

TheTwins92 ec2d

Still have adhd and slight autism

autism helps that

Is it bad I’m also a victim of a pedophile I don’t need therapy

TheTwins92 ec2d

Is it bad I’m also a victim of a pedophile I don’t need therapy

I have evidence clear as day also

damn you been through some shit

Bro's had a life

TheTwins92 ec2d

I have evidence clear as day also

I'm sorry that happened to you bro

6:18 AM

Don’t worry karma caught up to them, I’ve already have people working on sending shit to his location to let his MOTHER know

6:19 AM

Yes we have his location but I didn’t do the work it was for one time use

well ok, but, the guy whatever the worst happens to him and all, but are you okay?

Yes

then that's all that matters

6:20 AM

We basically how, should I put this did a frontal assault on him and he was poly now he’s with only one

wut?

We got everyone out of the relationship he was in

6:22 AM

Except one

6:22 AM

I have a lot of stories

6:24 AM

Ever broken your foot from jumping from a support beam of a bridge

6:24 AM

I landed on sand

6:24 AM

Weirdest shit

TheTwins92 ec2d

Ever broken your foot from jumping from a support beam of a bridge

I have never broken any bones

6:24 AM

Lucky

Teankyn

I have never broken any bones

Same

TheTwins92 ec2d

Lucky

I don't know if luck is a word with which I can define my life.

6:25 AM

but

I was fucked up as a kid and not the weird kind

continue

Teankyn

Also, this is now the emoji I’m going to associate you with

im lonely

Also, this is now the emoji I’m going to associate you with

6:25 AM

ok

I have a twin hints my name

92?

6:26 AM

Physical harm Is what always happens when we fight

Teankyn

92?

Don’t mind that

6:26 AM

Vrc username

oki doki

So I used to play Tee-ball and I may have hit my sister over the head with a metal bat

6:27 AM

I was a aggressive little fucker

6:28 AM

yeah

Then hit her with a golf club and popped a blood vessel

6:28 AM

Years after

6:28 AM

That

I broken someone’s nose before for stupid shit

Is it bad I threw a dog at a window

TheTwins92 ec2d

Is it bad I threw a dog at a window

What breed was the dog?

Boxer

dosent sound like a boxer

What do you mean

TheTwins92 ec2d

I broken someone’s nose before for stupid shit

me too in a fight in high school

i dont know how to deal with a major being flirty and weird with me and its kinda creeping me out that theyre coming only after me

11:10 AM

i really didnt know who else to tell this to, im too scared to tell the owner

11:12 AM

theyre 18. im not even 16 yet. and they said that its ok and trying to make it like a joke but its only.making me.uncomfy ...

11:14 AM

they keep making jokes to f me and like they know im a minor and its very very weird i i dont know how to deal w this

11:15 AM

im forcing myself to take it as a joke but... its just- weird.

Idk if you're comfortable to talk to ppl you don't know but, just try to pick up the courage and talk to them about it making u uncomfortable

11:17 AM

Like hey man the stuff u say makes me feel really uncomfy n weird could you stop ty

i would but yeah im too scared. i feel like i cant do it but i might talk to the owner of the server because we're kind of friends and i might tell them about what that other person says to me, but like i said im scared of what might happen, i dont want drama to happen between us and its just ugh ajeiwbejen

i overthink a lot

Deleted User

i would but yeah im too scared. i feel like i cant do it but i might talk to the owner of the server because we're kind of friends and i might tell them about what that other person says to me, but like i said im scared of what might happen, i dont want drama to happen between us and its just ugh ajeiwbejen

i overthink a lot

Wait it irl or online?

11:26 AM

You got me confused

online

11:26 AM

sorry its online, in another lgbtq server

Thought it was irl mb u.u

noo its okay!

Just talk to him directly

im gonna try

11:27 AM

if this keeps up because its just.. so uncomfy and its not even the first time

Well yknow just dm him, it's just pixels on the screen in the end

11:28 AM

You don't know the guy, so if you feel anxious you don't have to

11:28 AM

He's just a man on the computer yknow you don't know him

11:29 AM

Hope I'm not putting it too lightly i know how u feel

Thank u!! Yeah youre right Idk him, but im always so anxious to speak up for myself but ty for listening to me

ill take ur advice!)

Deleted User

Thank u!! Yeah youre right Idk him, but im always so anxious to speak up for myself but ty for listening to me

ill take ur advice!)

Dw i used to have the same problems when i was ur age

11:48 AM

Ull grow out of it and realise people care more about how they're perceived by others rather than how they care about other ppl

11:49 AM

Tldr dont be scared of noone just talk to them lol

Sterak

Dw i used to have the same problems when i was ur age

Im sorry ab that, i feel like it happens to almost every teen and it sucks.

Sterak

Tldr dont be scared of noone just talk to them lol

<33

11:51 AM

shut

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

11:52 AM

just block him"

11:52 AM

my man fr said just block hum

11:52 AM

no way u believe in that

11:52 AM

what the hell

11:53 AM

i see straights are THIS messed up.. to think such stuff help

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

ever heard of a-aggressors

11:53 AM

im not flirting w him hello?

11:53 AM

he was flirting w me its not the same

11:54 AM

im not even gonna explain stuff to someone like u tbh

11:54 AM

help what tl

11:54 AM

that term is still being used

11:55 AM

its 12:55 pm

It's the first meaningful thing you say.

also im not going bc im sick so ty

11:55 AM

EXACTLY

11:56 AM

r u not?.< dont have education?

11:56 AM

im sick

11:56 AM

what the hell do u want me to do

11:56 AM

i could come over there and give u sickness if u want?

11:56 AM

honesrly we're just filling this channel up so just admit ur gay and leave kindly

11:56 AM

thats why u dont have school?

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

cause ur gay?

11:56 AM

yes

11:57 AM

i was right

11:57 AM

Deleted User

im forcing myself to take it as a joke but... its just- weird.

Nahhh, I just read this, do you want me to report that ass myself?

3:41 PM

I'll do it as an anonymous tip

Nono its ok

3:43 PM

Theyre like that to everybody i can see now--

Deleted User

Theyre like that to everybody i can see now--

Ah ok

3:43 PM

But please tell them to cut it out

3:43 PM

If you ain't okay with it, it's their problem to deal with it

So my parents made a post about the situation that's going on about me, and someone had it removed, these fucking people are trying literally silence us. What they did is fucked and now they won't take the consequences of their actions

6:29 PM

Plus not to mention, we put the post up, and happened to have our car broken in to last night

Deleted User

Theyre like that to everybody i can see now--

Does not matter. A person can make everyone uncomfortable equally and they still shouldn’t make people uncomfortable. Doing it to more people does not discount the assholery of thing. I learned this lesson myself with one of my friends. Would always make fun of my sexuality and say inappropriate comments about me and my family. He’d do the same thing for others but that doesn’t make it ok.

1

I’ve lived most of my life being alone, and frankly I’m quite comfortable with it. I enjoy being alone, if I’m honest. But, right now, having absolutely nobody to interact with makes me realize that, either way, I still crave human interaction.

2:54 AM

It kinda makes me sad.

2:55 AM

Maybe I don’t like being alone as much as I thought I did

Butter Brawler

Maybe I don’t like being alone as much as I thought I did

Then we can be friends?

2:56 AM

If that’s what you’d like

2:57 AM

I’m not really that good at being social

Don't worry, I have experience with antisocial people.

Teankyn

Fren :3

Ye

2:58 AM

:3

Teankyn

Kiggy

2:58 AM

:3

hi

4:44 AM

im pissed

4:44 AM

i fucking hate my mom

4:44 AM

and my dad

4:45 AM

so like my mom travelled on this fuckin buisness trip thing and so my dad is here and his creepy stalky ass doesnt like me being alone and will yell at me if i am alone anywhere (he is omega religious too) (edited)

4:47 AM

and like a few days ago i called mom and told her that i am not religious and she seemed that she was understanding which was shocking and told me i can be alone too wherever i want and told me she will talk to dad and that if he does anything i can just call her

4:48 AM

dad just did the same shit again and i tried to call mom and guess fucking what her fucking number doesnt work cus she is in a different city (edited)

4:49 AM

that two faced fuck knew this and didnt tell me i fucking hate her so much

Damn

4:50 AM

If you're over 15 Just leave for a couple days

pigeon._._.

If you're over 15 Just leave for a couple days

leave to where i dont wanna be homeless

Hmm Yeah I simplified that a bit... If you have a friend you can stay with go there, if not with it being fall there's not too much you can do

i dont have a friend's house that i can go to no

5:21 AM

mom called and i am genuinely infuriated

5:21 AM

two faced fuck changed her story entirely

5:21 AM

im too pissed to type it out

@Help

5:41 AM

Look

5:42 AM

Why did you have to tell her that?

5:42 AM

Why not when she was at home?

5:42 AM

She is traveling which means she is busy.

5:42 AM

If she already has shit in her head, why give her more?

5:43 AM

I understand that you are angry

5:43 AM

But don't hate your mother

5:43 AM

One day she will be gone forever

5:43 AM

Just hold on a little, 3 years is not that long

5:44 AM

Now that you are an adult, you will be able to have your own well-planned idolgies.

5:44 AM

Right now you just have an absurd amount of hormones in your body.

5:45 AM

Before you do anything, think very carefully about what you are going to do because that can screw you up even more in the future.

5:45 AM

Teankyn

But don't hate your mother

my mother is the same person that sleep deprivated me as a kid, my mother is the same person that always manipulated my family against me, my mother is the same person that did unspeakable horrors to me as a kid, my mother is the same person that always told me to just push on when i am going through a tough time at school, my mother is the same person that threatened to force me into a country where child services laws dont exist which means they can do anything to me (edited)

3:09 PM

i genuinely hate this fucking monster with every cell in my body

Teankyn

Right now you just have an absurd amount of hormones in your body.

dont even try to bring up hormones my mom did inappropriate things to me when i was a child

3:16 PM

sorry for being aggressive but it triggers me so much when i see someone defending her as if she is the victim, my mom is a very calculated narcissist who knows how to always appear as the victim

Help

sorry for being aggressive but it triggers me so much when i see someone defending her as if she is the victim, my mom is a very calculated narcissist who knows how to always appear as the victim

I never said she was a victim

4:01 PM

I understand what a shitty mother is.

4:01 PM

My mother is the same

4:01 PM

But I really don't know if it's okay to hate her.

4:02 PM

I know you feel many things but hey, in the end what makes you feel better is what matters.

4:05 PM

4:07 PM

I just tried to understand the situation more and not be so extreme.

4:07 PM

Help

my mother is the same person that sleep deprivated me as a kid, my mother is the same person that always manipulated my family against me, my mother is the same person that did unspeakable horrors to me as a kid, my mother is the same person that always told me to just push on when i am going through a tough time at school, my mother is the same person that threatened to force me into a country where child services laws dont exist which means they can do anything to me (edited)

What fucking country do you live in bro?

Teankyn

What fucking country do you live in bro?

canada but before i came in here i used to live in middle east and in there child protection laws are a fucking joke everything can be justified with discipline there

Teankyn

But I really don't know if it's okay to hate her.

in my books hating a child predator is okay and she is one so i dont see whats wrong with that (edited)

Help

canada but before i came in here i used to live in middle east and in there child protection laws are a fucking joke everything can be justified with discipline there

Well another reason not to go to Canada

???

Help

in my books hating a child predator is okay and she is one so i dont see whats wrong with that (edited)

What kind of books do you read?

i am in canada wym

Teankyn

What kind of books do you read?

i didnt mean it literaly its a figurative speech i meant like 'in my opinion'

Help

i am in canada wym

Because of the laws, I'm already in a shitty country to go to another one that's equally shitty or worse.

Help

i didnt mean it literaly its a figurative speech i meant like 'in my opinion'

4:27 PM

Oki doki

Teankyn

Because of the laws, I'm already in a shitty country to go to another one that's equally shitty or worse.

yk that canada is like miles better than middle east right

4:28 PM

if my parents did half the stuff they did to me back there in here they would be in prison for life

Help

yk that canada is like miles better than middle east right

With all due respect, I don't care about the middle east

Teankyn

With all due respect, I don't care about the middle east

are you even listening to what im saying

Help

if my parents did half the stuff they did to me back there in here they would be in prison for life

So Canada is worse?

Help

are you even listening to what im saying

I'm trying but I just woke up

Teankyn

So Canada is worse?

?????? uhhhh no???? you think a predator like mom shouldnt be in prison just cus she is my mom?

Help

?????? uhhhh no???? you think a predator like mom shouldnt be in prison just cus she is my mom?

Sorry?

4:29 PM

I think I read it wrong then.

Teankyn

So Canada is worse?

Bruh wot? They said that if their parents did half the stuff they've done to them in the Middle East, only this time in Canada, they would be in jail for life

Teankyn

Sorry?

-w-

Teankyn

I think I read it wrong then.

you did my friend

Silly Vixen

Bruh wot? They said that if their parents did half the stuff they've done to them in the Middle East, only this time in Canada, they would be in jail for life

Yes sorry I got completely confused

4:31 PM

This shit is my third language

Teankyn

Yes sorry I got completely confused

Np

Eepy brain moment

pigeon._._.

Eepy brain moment

Ye

@Help sorry to hear brother, it's hard dealing with being preyed upon as a child

Help

?????? uhhhh no???? you think a predator like mom shouldnt be in prison just cus she is my mom?

What I tried to say but couldn't is that I hope they are in prison for life and they give you guardians who will take good care of you.

Teankyn

What I tried to say but couldn't is that I hope they are in prison for life and they give you guardians who will take good care of you.

oh okay

pigeon._._.

@Help sorry to hear brother, it's hard dealing with being preyed upon as a child

its okay its not ur fault

Help

oh okay

In all my shitty mental capacity I read that this would happen in the middle east, sorry

Teankyn

In all my shitty mental capacity I read that this would happen in the middle east, sorry

it did happen in the middle east tho, i got preyed upon there

Fuck

I hope you can get proper help for dealing with it.

Look, just don't do something stupid like kill your parents, think that karma is going to give them everything back or something like that.

4:35 PM

Unfortunately the world is a fucking shit but we can't do anything about it

4:36 PM

I don't know what should be done in your situation but I can try to find something.

4:39 PM

Ok I just checked and what shitty laws

4:39 PM

pigeon._._.

I hope you can get proper help for dealing with it.

thanks

Teankyn

Look, just don't do something stupid like kill your parents, think that karma is going to give them everything back or something like that.

im not gonna go postal lol

4:40 PM

im not an idiot

I don't know, it's the first thing that would come to my mind.

4:40 PM

In that situation

its okay

Do you have a life plan?

wym

What are you going to work when you're older and all that?

4:41 PM

Or what are you going to study?

4:41 PM

Because at least they are obliged by law to give you all the education possible.

4:42 PM

i do have a life plan its just not solid

4:42 PM

my only life plan rn is to just get the fuck outta that house

Help

my only life plan rn is to just get the fuck outta that house

And how are you going to do it?

idk yet

Walking probably

Help

idk yet

Well, look, studies can be a way out of that, as long as you get good friends at school.

4:46 PM

If not it's just more shit for your head

4:46 PM

It is a very complicated situation and I am truly sorry that you have to experience something so horrible so young.

its not ur fault

Teankyn

Well, look, studies can be a way out of that, as long as you get good friends at school.

studies are just extra stress on top of everything and even at school im not having a great time either

Help

studies are just extra stress on top of everything and even at school im not having a great time either

Damn what bad luck friend

Help

its not ur fault

I didn't say it was my fault

4:54 PM

I said I'm sorry, because I feel bad for you out of genuine empathy.

thank you :3

At the beginning of the year i was so excited for agricultural science bc i got to play with animals and grow plants, now i cant fucking stand it, i love the material but the teacher and students fucking suck, i get called fag, bitch, retard, ni**er, and autistic like 17 times a day by this one kid but the second i say "shit" on accident she fucking yells at my ass. Half the class moves their chairs around to sit next to their friends so i decided to move my chair next to the only single fucking person in that class who doesnt make me feel like a absolutely worthless peice of shit, and this bitch teacher says, "put your chair back, we have assigned seats for a reason." Plus the way every person looks at me makes me feel like im some sort of monster or some elephant in the room.

Artasin :3

At the beginning of the year i was so excited for agricultural science bc i got to play with animals and grow plants, now i cant fucking stand it, i love the material but the teacher and students fucking suck, i get called fag, bitch, retard, ni**er, and autistic like 17 times a day by this one kid but the second i say "shit" on accident she fucking yells at my ass. Half the class moves their chairs around to sit next to their friends so i decided to move my chair next to the only single fucking person in that class who doesnt make me feel like a absolutely worthless peice of shit, and this bitch teacher says, "put your chair back, we have assigned seats for a reason." Plus the way every person looks at me makes me feel like im some sort of monster or some elephant in the room.

Teankyn

Mb

Artasin :3

Mb

wut?

Nvm sorry

12:59 AM

a?

@Artasin :3 Fuck em, half of em Ain't going to do shit with their lives anyway

1:02 AM

Also, record that mother fucked being racist and then show a guidance counselor

With how my fucking state is i would be expelled for recording without permission

Artasin :3

With how my fucking state is i would be expelled for recording without permission

it all depends in your uniform (edited)

1:03 AM

or just record the audio

School is public property, you have rights, and one of them is to not be harassed

I'd rather not cause problems

pigeon._._.

School is public property, you have rights, and one of them is to not be harassed

Unfortunately it depends on the rules of the institution

Artasin :3

I'd rather not cause problems

They're causing you problems, you let them get away with it and you're the only one paying the price

1:04 AM

@Teankyn were in america

but you are more important guy

pigeon._._.

@Teankyn were in america

yes

Ot doesn't matter if it's public

1:04 AM

He can record

Teankyn

but you are more important guy

Not to a single person in that class (edited)

Artasin :3

Not to a single person in that class (edited)

and?

Or that school infact

And if it's bad enough, don't be afraid to take it to the next level

pigeon._._.

He can record

It depends on the school, they can take away the phone and continue the abuse.

1:05 AM

Teankyn

It depends on the school, they can take away the phone and continue the abuse.

Will most likely be the case

Teankyn

It depends on the school, they can take away the phone and continue the abuse.

I mean, of course for a day, but they can erase the evidence, it all depends on what his parents sign.

They really can't if you explain your reasoning, and if they do, you can go to your local police station. They'd love to help believe it or not

and on top of that you can demonstrate audio evidence

1:07 AM

You think my local police care abt the students, the only ever time they take action is if a kid has a hoodie type jacket or there is a threat of a school shooting

Artasin :3

You think my local police care abt the students, the only ever time they take action is if a kid has a hoodie type jacket or there is a threat of a school shooting

USA be like:

Thus is what causes school shootings

1:08 AM

Look, you don't know if you don't at least try

Ive seen many try

1:08 AM

Its no use

Artasin :3

Ive seen many try

you are you

1:09 AM

you should try it just to try to do something

1:09 AM

maybe you're lucky

1:09 AM

Look ill drive my ass to Louisiana and beat the fuck outta them myself if you want.

Parent abusing: they get brought back to their house and nothing against the parent Kids being bullied (in my case, last semester): they say "stop" and nothing else is done abt it

Teankyn

maybe you're lucky

My luck is worse than a fucking devil bro

Artasin :3

My luck is worse than a fucking devil bro

negative + negative equals positive

1:11 AM

Only works in math

1:11 AM

Or something else i forgot

Math

2:39 AM

6 grade math

Meth

Deep

I fucked up hard

3:57 AM

I really didn’t think this would be a very big deal

3:58 AM

I feel like a total idiot

What happened?

So, I was talking to my bf

3:59 AM

He said he was gonna eat and shower, so I waited like an hour

3:59 AM

And after that I figured he probably went on to bed, cause he said he was tired, and it was usually the time he does anyways

4:00 AM

So I played a couple rounds of warthunder, which completely set him off because he thought we were gonna be together for a while

4:00 AM

He was beyond pissed

Why would he be pissed? You wanted to play game bc you thought he was slepy

He also brought up some other things he didn’t like that I did and

4:01 AM

Damn, I feel like a shit bf

4:01 AM

Like, if it’s really that bad, then it’s no wonder why I was single for so long

Artasin :3

Why would he be pissed? You wanted to play game bc you thought he was slepy

I told him that I would be there, but i wasn’t when he got back

If hes being overly aggressive abt something like that, that would probably be forgotten the next day, he doesnt really sound like someone you should be with ngl

I apparently did it a lot without realizing

4:03 AM

He says I kept just going off to play a game without warning

4:03 AM

I didn’t realize

If you did it a lot, ig just try and stop for a bit yk

I think im just not gonna play any games anymore

4:04 AM

Like, I’ve lost all motivation in them now

4:05 AM

I just wanted time to myself

4:05 AM

I can’t get that without having to run off 4 hours of sleep

4:09 AM

I guess I was never meant to be a warthunder guy

4:10 AM

Just as I finally get into playing it, I’m not able to play it anymore

4:10 AM

My kinda luck

Why dont you ever have time to play games?

4:11 AM

Other than work obviously

Well, that’s about it

4:12 AM

I just have to do stuff all the time

4:13 AM

I wake up at 5:50, go to school till 2:55, go to practice until about 6:00, and then study and chores until 10:00, which is when I usually go to bed

4:13 AM

Not to mention I have to work on my truck aswell

Butter Brawler

I wake up at 5:50, go to school till 2:55, go to practice until about 6:00, and then study and chores until 10:00, which is when I usually go to bed

Practice what?

Bowling

Hrm

I’m starting to feel burnout creeping up

Christ, sorry butter.

Mhm

4:15 AM

My eye bags look darker

Butter Brawler

My eye bags look darker

What time is it for you rn

I haven’t been getting much sleep for nearly a month

Bro on the weekends do like me and sleep in as much as you can

Artasin :3

What time is it for you rn

9:15

Artasin :3

Bro on the weekends do like me and sleep in as much as you can

Not an option

Butter Brawler

9:15

Go to sleep

Lawn work, chores, truck

Artasin :3

Go to sleep

Can’t

4:16 AM

Studying

Butter Brawler

Lawn work, chores, truck

That can all wait till afternoon bro

Artasin :3

That can all wait till afternoon bro

I’m not allowed to wait

Butter Brawler

Studying

Then get tf off discord

4:16 AM

Why

Artasin :3

Then get tf off discord

I can multitask

4:17 AM

Just gotta remember one little chart, and I’m set for the test tomorrow

4:17 AM

The chart can carry me

Artasin :3

Why

My parents just don’t allow it

4:17 AM

Something about being lazy

4:20 AM

They are pretty strict about working

4:20 AM

The kind that, if you don’t have work, they like to give you work

Butter Brawler

The kind that, if you don’t have work, they like to give you work

Ugh i hate that (edited)

So much for a childhood

4:21 AM

Teenhood

Never had one, if I’m honest

4:21 AM

Well, not a good one

Not many people I know did... sorry though that shit is rough without all the extra stress added

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?

4:23 AM

I really hope that’s true

Butter Brawler

Something about being lazy

Kill them all

4:23 AM

Leave no witnesses

No

4:23 AM

I’d end up in a uncontrollable downward spiral

4:24 AM

I’ve had one taste of blood, and I don’t want anymore

Truth

4:25 AM

Focus on making your adult life good by working on things you'll need later, like your education, and physical well being, mental can be treated with therapy down the line

4:25 AM

If it doesn't kill you first

pigeon._._.

If it doesn't kill you first

We’ll see about that

.-.

What? I’m an arsonist at heart

4:26 AM

Not the first time I caught myself on fire

4:27 AM

I’m just messing with you, I’m not suicidal or anything

4:27 AM

I just don’t really see a positive outcome in the future

4:27 AM

I could very well end up dead by the end of it

It's hard to be optimistic when everything around you is shit Been in the same boat for awhile now I don't really have much advice, but advice isn't what you need

Yea

4:30 AM

I’d kill for an extra ounce of sleep

4:30 AM

I cherish every minute of it

As much as you need it, don't sleep in school, that was my mistake

I don’t

4:32 AM

I’m pretty good about that

4:32 AM

I get just enough to make it through the day

Well good That's not great, but it'll have to do for now eh

Gonna have to do for a lot longer than now

4:34 AM

I got a feeling my workload is gonna get a lot larger

4:35 AM

My parents have been having hush hush conversations more often

4:35 AM

They only do that when they don’t want me to hear them try and find a way to make me do something

4:36 AM

I’m gonna head to bed early tonight

4:36 AM

Those 30 extra minutes are gonna be heaven

Yeah, I hope things get better for you.... and get some good sleep if you can

https://discord.com/channels/1159558903357517975/1159911904815362220/1166572409332179034 they literally wished death on me 2 days ago

5:03 AM

Ok Tean

The internet is one thing but I have to look those sons of bitches in the face every day.

Yaa

5:06 AM

But you should still do something fun with them, right?

sleep_24fps

But you should still do something fun with them, right?

They told me I was better off dead.

5:06 AM

Ok thats not good

5:07 AM

send them to shit then

5:07 AM

It sounds easy but it's not, I know.

I can't, they already did it first

5:08 AM

just because I got sick

Bro

5:09 AM

Those weren't friends then

yep

By the way, leave the porro

sleep_24fps

By the way, leave the porro

b-but

5:09 AM

I already left it

Thats not good from yours lungs

Teankyn

I already left it

The other day you say the same

I swear I haven't been intoxicated again since that day.

and the next day you were with one

5:11 AM

In a call

sleep_24fps

and the next day you were with one

it was a bromita

5:11 AM

Seeing you two talk like this is making me jealous, I want a friend like you two.

Teankyn

it was a bromita

Bromita my balls

@im lonely shhh

im lonely

Seeing you two talk like this is making me jealous, I want a friend like you two.

the power of friends who speak Spanish

The fuck?

pigeon._._.

@im lonely shhh

no

Teankyn

the power of friends who speak Spanish

Yes

@Teankyn yall were having a moment

pigeon._._.

@Teankyn yall were having a moment

It's literally just normal talk.

5:13 AM

I’m so sorry, I ruined the moment, I’ll leave

im lonely

I’m so sorry, I ruined the moment, I’ll leave

no wtf

When you had the Porro you seemed like Pokko today on call

im lonely

I’m so sorry, I ruined the moment, I’ll leave

No problem bro

sleep_24fps

When you had the Porro you seemed like Pokko today on call

It wasn't a joint, it was the flu.

Teankyn

no wtf

Well it’s kinda already too late because what pigeon said is about to make me cry because they reminded me of what kind of annoyance I was.

pokko, damn you pokko always so alusin

im lonely

Well it’s kinda already too late because what pigeon said is about to make me cry because they reminded me of what kind of annoyance I was.

5:14 AM

pigeon wtf?

A multi of Surgeon?

sleep_24fps

A multi of Surgeon?

nah

im lonely

Well it’s kinda already too late because what pigeon said is about to make me cry because they reminded me of what kind of annoyance I was.

Eh fuckit I give up Think what you want wolf

Ok

This one does bathe and do things

pigeon._._.

Eh fuckit I give up Think what you want wolf

you this:

Nah me a cunt

And i do this fugu

5:15 AM

Ok no

pigeon._._.

Nah me a cunt

Why were you so rude to Wolf?

@Teankyn it's not my fault he took it that way... I wasn't trying to be

5:16 AM

But like I said

Me trying to speak english putting words in Spanish so that gringos don't understand

Fuck it

pigeon._._.

Fuck it

It’s fine, I’m sorry

sleep_24fps

Me trying to speak english putting words in Spanish so that gringos don't understand

yes its hard pero son tontos, so you can continue

You are bad, very bad

5:17 AM

And i liked

igual la wea mala como la paloma trato al lobo

5:18 AM

verdad grim?

Yes sir

@im lonely

5:18 AM

talk please

5:19 AM

What did he have to do with it?

5:19 AM

Eh?

5:19 AM

Another spanish bro?

es al que trato mal la paloma

5:19 AM

la que se acaba de desconectar

5:19 AM

Ok

we are the only ones talking on the server

5:20 AM

xd

5:21 AM

and now I'm alone

L

Artasin :3

L

crepppy

But relatable

Teankyn

crepppy

He is very creepy

Nao

Artasin :3

He is very creepy

If I have an edit from someone, where do I send it?

You are not alone

5:22 AM

Only cuchau problems

5:22 AM

Teankyn

If I have an edit from someone, where do I send it?

Memes or something

sleep_24fps

Click to see attachment 🖼️

Memes with insults

sleep_24fps

Click to see attachment 🖼️

furrys in a nutshell:

Holy shit he discovers me

5:24 AM

But I was referring to the guy you tagged

sleep_24fps

But I was referring to the guy you tagged

why?

Wolf name

oh right

5:24 AM

but is like a military shit i think

Ok

5:25 AM

Like a Fur Wolf Millitary?

sleep_24fps

Like a Fur Wolf Millitary?

like when a marine retires

Like

5:26 AM

like those from salchicha blanda?

......

5:27 AM

yes

Ehheeheh

I call him salchichita blandita desde ahora

5:28 AM

oki doki

Wait

5:29 AM

I can send the Frog talking like perico?

sleep_24fps

I can send the Frog talking like perico?

in #memes

5:29 AM

Thanks

Venting in amogus

I agree

Darkstalker

Venting in amogus

Dudes gone yall

12:59 AM

He dead

I was informed he was a troll anyway dw about it

You can't take a nap because you lose what's interesting.

1:00 AM

Wha

I'm going to look for the gossip about how was kicked from the server

1:03 AM

as with the person who starts with p

I have no idea what you're talking about, however, I wish you good luck

1:04 AM

Oh

1:04 AM

Wait

1:04 AM

Panda

1:04 AM

Nvm

1:05 AM

There's no good story there... just an unfortunate one

pigeon._._.

There's no good story there... just an unfortunate one

Real unfortunate

Teankyn

I'm going to look for the gossip about how was kicked from the server

Boykisser server lore johnnysmile

0_N30

Boykisser server lore johnnysmile

Ye

there should totally be boykisser server lore

0_N30

there should totally be boykisser server lore

Then make one

Alright here we go.

2:07 AM

So today is nearly the 2nd month of me having lost a loved one and his wife let me listen to a voicemail where he said “don’t forget J.Js birthday (me)” and it hurt to remember that I won’t be able to see him again in this life and just to hear him put me into tears.

2D

So today is nearly the 2nd month of me having lost a loved one and his wife let me listen to a voicemail where he said “don’t forget J.Js birthday (me)” and it hurt to remember that I won’t be able to see him again in this life and just to hear him put me into tears.

Poor thing, it must have been a very strange feeling.

2:20 AM

I hope you are well

I’m all better now

Anything I'm here for you too friend

I got it all out of my system

Teankyn

Anything I'm here for you too friend

Thank you

2:20 AM

hugs close

2D

I got it all out of my system

I'm very happy to hear it

2D

hugs close

hugs back

2:21 AM

Ok I'm going to take a nap, if anything happens tell me

I will

2:21 AM

Sleep well

2:22 AM

Thank you

Anytime

hewwo

Hi flowie

life is just not really great recently, there is always everything going on at home mom is always manipulating me in some way i just want to crawl up in a ball and keep crying endlessly i wish i wasnt born

2D

Hi flowie

undertale moment

Help

life is just not really great recently, there is always everything going on at home mom is always manipulating me in some way i just want to crawl up in a ball and keep crying endlessly i wish i wasnt born

hugs close

2:26 AM

Please don’t wish that.

2:26 AM

I know it’s not good where you’re at right now but hopefully soon you can move and get away from her?..

im broke

I know it’s tough right now but I believe in you friend.

Help

im broke

How much do you need?.

a fuckton of money

Hmm..

and im still 17

Dammit.

so i still have 1 year left

1 year and money..

2:28 AM

Maybe you could find a job to get some scratch to move?..

i cant cus of school

Mmm..

2:28 AM

Maybe when you finish school?..

2:28 AM

I don’t know..

yeah after school is realistic

2:29 AM

but thats still a lot of months away

I know.

My dad saw me in my pink thigh highs and he immediately said in a shocked tone “aren’t those for girls?” And I said that they were uni-sex, and he offered to buy them because they seemed comfy, so I immediately took the dollars, and you know what he immediately did? He asked my brother to throw them away. Is he homophobic? Also sorry if this belongs in vent, I’ll immediately delete and move it over there. It’s here now

Uhmmmm

2:56 AM

Probs

2:56 AM

I mean, he seemed to try and buy them from you just so that he could get rid of them

2:56 AM

Did you at least get more money out of them than you spent on buying them?

Yeah but I’m the past he said that he doesn’t care if I like boys, and I haven’t told my family that I’m bixesual, and now I’m kinda even more scared to tell them after what he did

Silly Vixen

Did you at least get more money out of them than you spent on buying them?

And also, the thighs were from a 6 pack so he gave me 3 dollars for the one pair I was wearing (edited)

Yeah I can see why

im lonely

And also, the thighs were from a 6 pack so he gave me 3 dollars for the one pair I was wearing (edited)

And how much did the pack cost?

12 dollars

So it's a profit margin of 1 dollar

2:59 AM

Since it would be 6 pairs per 12 dollars, and thus 2 dollars per pair

2:59 AM

So in a way not bad, you'll be able to buy yourself new pink thigh highs after 9 more dollars gained or something (edited)

True

Either that or if they sell single pairs at 2 bucks, you could technically get some without having to make more than what you've earned

3:01 AM

But still, I think that him asking your brother to throw them away is a bit of a red flag. Not an immediate sign of homophobia but definitely something to look out for.

Yeah, I’ll definitely look out for more signs

3:01 AM

Thank you for your time :3

Alright, good luck then, and you're most welcome

Silly Vixen

Alright, good luck then, and you're most welcome

thank you for your time again :3

im lonely

thank you for your time again :3

And again, you welcome smallboi

Silly Vixen

And again, you welcome smallboi

Can I Fren you? You don’t have to accept though if you want, and sorry if I’m annoying you or bothering you or something. :3

im lonely

Can I Fren you? You don’t have to accept though if you want, and sorry if I’m annoying you or bothering you or something. :3

Nonono, please, do Fren me :>

3:06 AM

I'm more than okay

Silly Vixen

Nonono, please, do Fren me :>

Oki :3

Today has been shit.

Oh nooo

2D

Today has been shit.

What happened?

Just everything is falling apart the wound of losing a loved one has tore itself open again after thinking it’s finally healing and now my bf is having problems with his friends and I don’t know what to do and my home is going to get sold from underneath my family I don’t know what to do and I feel fucking helpless im so tired of everyone fighting and constantly being at everyone’s throats

3:34 AM

Just be fucking happy

Man

3:38 AM

Hug?

No

Ok mb

3:39 AM

I hope everything will somehow turn alright

Don’t worry everything will be fine.

3:41 AM

It always is.

How do you guys deal with those random 1am depression episodes

12:56 AM

Its annoyinf as fuck

12:56 AM

I be listening to im still standing and than bam

12:57 AM

No happy chemical in brain

Go to private and I'll tell you

1:04 AM

OwO

not gay

How do you guys deal with those random 1am depression episodes

Imma be honest, I just ride it out

GUYS I REALLY WANT ATTENTION

3:12 AM

I'm a huge attention whore

3:12 AM

And while I love my boyfriend, I need a friend to talk to alongside him

I have an idea

I just feel lonely

I can be your friend? :3

Gonna ghost me? Or fall out of touch?

No

3:13 AM

I promise

I believe you

Thank you

noba!

GUYS I REALLY WANT ATTENTION

Ima give you attention :3

Then do it

noba!

Then do it

Attention, attention. You’re great :3

OMG CAN I HAVE ATTENTION TOO PLEASE PLS PLS PLS

Deleted User

OMG CAN I HAVE ATTENTION TOO PLEASE PLS PLS PLS

wait give @noba! alot first

3:15 AM

they deserve it

3:15 AM

more

noba!

Then do it

Deleted User

wait give @noba! alot first

im lonely

Deleted User

im lonely

That’s it!! I’m friending you, NOW!! Fren :3

Uhhhh

im lonely

That’s it!! I’m friending you, NOW!! Fren :3

Forget I said anything here.

noba!

Uhhhh

What?

noba!

Forget I said anything here.

oh?

Too much attention yeah?

No

3:18 AM

Just don't like when people do that shit

noba!

Just don't like when people do that shit

What? Give you attention?

No

the kisses

3:18 AM

i think

That too but not what I'm talking about

Ah, I deeply apologize. I should never have done or said those things than. I’m sorry

Just when people make me feel insignificant

3:19 AM

But it's whatever

Wdym?

Don't want the attention anymore

What makes you say that friend?

3:19 AM

Oh.

noba!

Just when people make me feel insignificant

Oh no, did I make you feel that?

3:19 AM

I’m sorry

Doesn't matter

3:20 AM

I don't care snymore

pigeon._._.

Click to see attachment 🖼️

I wish I had some mf waffles

pigeon._._.

I wish I had some mf waffles

True

I feel like this server has provided a pretty well rounded space for me to vent in small-scale sad situations. But the big problem is that I’m afraid that people will come in this chat and see my vents and then feel even worse after hearing me vent about my situation and me healing from it. With a few people, when they talk to me, I feel like they in a perpetual state of infinite agony. I’m lokis wife putting the bucket as the venom drips towards his eyes and I don’t want to be someone’s Loki. I’m not perpetually suffering at all. All of this is temporary. So as much as I need people to talk to, I also fear that those people need someone right now too. (edited)

Well, that's not something I feel you should have to worry about... the people who seek out the messages here in vent want to help, even if it messes with their own mental health. That's just what it takes to help

Ok, I guess. But if people are already super messed up, I don’t want them to give me advice. I hate the idea of being a burden.

People who are messed up think themselves the burden I promise you, you can vent here just fine Stop worrying please

Okay

7:38 PM

FUCK

7:38 PM

I should have called the cops i should have looked closer to the car

7:39 PM

I don't know how I didn't see it

gone for now see yall someday

Click to see attachment 🖼️

Dude thats my dads jeep not my truck (edited)

7:40 PM

40k jeep vs a 800$ truck

7:40 PM

Id rather him have hit my truck

Oh shit

Yea

7:40 PM

Hes

7:40 PM

Pissed

I’m sorry

He ain't mad at me

7:41 PM

It wasn't my fault

7:41 PM

Hes mad i didn't call the cops

Oh

I have so many tiny cuts on my hands I'm surprised each time I find one, that's what happens when you make cooking your hobby fellas

lazysock98_1.1

I have so many tiny cuts on my hands I'm surprised each time I find one, that's what happens when you make cooking your hobby fellas

That happens

at least I cut well

9:07 PM

(can somebody give me a sharp Reliable knife for Christmas thank you I'll be grateful)

I’m gonna catch a murder charge

What?

All the bitches on this goddamn bus are the most obnoxious, loud, overly dramatic motherfuckers I have ever met

1:15 AM

I swear to god, I’m gonna toss them out the bus (edited)

Ya got headphones?

im lonely

Ya got headphones?

On max

1:15 AM

I can still hear their every word

Damn, fuck uh. You got an extra shirt? Jacket? Gloves?

I wish

1:16 AM

They are having a fucking rave

1:17 AM

I just wanna go home, and these motherfuckers have to use the biggest, flashiest, most blinding and deafining speak to blast Megan stallion

Uhh alright. You got long sleeves and a pair of scissors?

1:18 AM

I may have an idea

If I had scissors, I’d be on the floor in handcuffs right now

Fuck, damn. Can’t blame you though

1:19 AM

Okay uhh… shit, what do you have on you?

Me

1:19 AM

That’s about it

Wired or wireless headphones?

1:20 AM

Which ones do you have?

Wireless

Fuck, there goes my idea

They are the only things keeping me together right now

Okay ummm… do you have your backpack?

No

Fuck, I’m sorry bro. I ain’t got no ideas left

You can but some wax earplugs off amazon, I used them at work for loud machines, should be better than headphones, and they're pretty cheap

Shit like this is why I had a whisky problem at 14 (edited)

pigeon._._.

You can but some wax earplugs off amazon, I used them at work for loud machines, should be better than headphones, and they're pretty cheap

And have them delivered to a moving bus?

They got drines now right

1:22 AM

Drones

1:22 AM

Damnit

1:22 AM

Nah I'm just saying if it's a daily thing for you, it might be a good investment

This is a one off thing

1:22 AM

This doesn’t happen regularly

1:22 AM

I’m not going to school

1:23 AM

This was a field trip

oh Yeah nvm then

1:23 AM

Beat they asses

I’m about to

1:24 AM

Especially the fat bitch across the isle

1:24 AM

The land whale has it coming

1:24 AM

Just don't kill anyone

Dead or not, I do not care

1:25 AM

I just wanna watch that bitch hit the floor so hard she leaves a crater

you really don't like her huh

No

1:26 AM

She’s the type to get winded by walking to the kitchen for a snack

1

1:27 AM

How that hotshit attitude hasn’t got her ass flattened baffles me

1:27 AM

Some people need to learn how to cool their attitudes

real

I feel like need whisky again

Drinking sucks Smoke weed instead

1:34 AM

Kidding of course

1:34 AM

Both are bad

1:34 AM

I know I shouldn’t

1:36 AM

And I won’t

1:37 AM

But god, I’d love a glass right now

.-. Any chance of sleeping the rest of the ride?

How am I gonna sleep with Megan stallion playing on full blast?

1:39 AM

Not to mention the flashing lights

pigeon._._.

Drinking sucks Smoke weed instead

Weed is bad

Idk I'm just throwing it out there bc thats what I'd do on the band bus, kids were always loud as fuck. But I'd just sleep through it

1:40 AM

Better than drinking imo

Remember kids

1:41 AM

Drink and drive

Smoke and fly

Oh dear god why

2:23 AM

My family is taking me to go to Walmart now that I’m off the bus

2:24 AM

I JUST WANNA GO HOME (edited)

Lol nah, you can't have peace

3:07 AM

This mf is making videos about my family. My dad is doing halloween event and she is making tik tocs about us https://www.tiktok.com/@parkrosepermaculture/video/7295181809745251626?_r=1&u_code=eakbd7cg2gk3b7&preview_pb=0&sharer_language=en&_d=eakbd16jg12bjf&share_item_id=7295181809745251626&source=h5_m&timestamp=1698544718&user_id=7295191204617946154&sec_user_id=MS4wLjABAAAA8lZUxv9CDXyaukSaCZlpP_49qKc10AgCzd6EEUCsABPihsQsnnjQ7FYSHyM7bFV_&social_share_type=0&utm_source=copy&utm_campaign=client_share&utm_medium=android&share_iid=7295191456204572458&share_link_id=d832b839-16ad-45fb-aa5b-3a10b15873da&share_app_id=1233&ugbiz_name=MAIN&ug_btm=b5836%2Cb2878

TikTok · Parkrose Permaculture

26 likes, 2 comments. “#duet with @syd

eclectic homeschooler”

3:08 AM

She is literally a car away from them making these while glaring at them

3:09 AM

She saw my dad taking photos of the little ones

3:09 AM

And made this

3:12 AM

What the fuck should we do?

I saw something today that said that hugging your pillow at night is a sign that you're lonely And I hug my pillow every night, so that's probably not great

i tried cuddling with a blanket, it sucks, 1/10 wouldn't recommend cuddles

Tried cuddling with my pistol. Protected and cold but rough on the edges. 6/10 (edited)

I feel lonely anyways, hugging pillow or not. I don't know if it's my severe lack of socialization or my gaming, but I just feel lonely all the time. I think I've been so infatuated with gaming that I don't realize that the people and the world around me changes. Sometimes I feel like I'm in my own little bubble, never talking to anyone that isn't online. Constantly stumbling over my words when talking to someone that isn't my brother or my parents. I try to get away but games have taken over my daily routine, I dwell in my room, constantly yelling, shouting and overall pissed. The fact I only get like this only cements the fact that I never actually show my emotions other than happiness and bored. I'm always trying to find a way to watch a video or play games while someone is talking. I never actually get into a conversation unless it's something I like or know about. I want to have fun again. (edited)

Cold showers are the answer :trollface:

...

lazysock98_1.1

Cold showers are the answer :trollface:

This is serious?

for me it worked

6:50 AM

Also some hard workouts

I haven't even talked about my p#rn addiction. And frankly I don't want to.

my p#rn addiction already gone, just try cold showers trust me

Fine. And what if I still feel like shit at all hours of the day?

I'll figure something out

ClownMan

This mf is making videos about my family. My dad is doing halloween event and she is making tik tocs about us https://www.tiktok.com/@parkrosepermaculture/video/7295181809745251626?_r=1&u_code=eakbd7cg2gk3b7&preview_pb=0&sharer_language=en&_d=eakbd16jg12bjf&share_item_id=7295181809745251626&source=h5_m&timestamp=1698544718&user_id=7295191204617946154&sec_user_id=MS4wLjABAAAA8lZUxv9CDXyaukSaCZlpP_49qKc10AgCzd6EEUCsABPihsQsnnjQ7FYSHyM7bFV_&social_share_type=0&utm_source=copy&utm_campaign=client_share&utm_medium=android&share_iid=7295191456204572458&share_link_id=d832b839-16ad-45fb-aa5b-3a10b15873da&share_app_id=1233&ugbiz_name=MAIN&ug_btm=b5836%2Cb2878

Call the fucking cops

10:40 AM

At this point it's over

10:40 AM

That's stalking

Thinking about my last ex is

2:15 PM

Difficult

2:15 PM

Very difficult

2:16 PM

I feel so conflicted about him

2:16 PM

He was all one could want

Mine wasnt

2:16 PM

He was a lot

2:17 PM

Yet his flaws showed very early on, and wanted me to always change for him instead of learning to accept my flaws

2:17 PM

But my boyfriend like rn?

2:17 PM

He's perfect for me

2:17 PM

He obviously has some flaws

2:17 PM

But all minor

2:17 PM

Nothing major

2:17 PM

Feel like I've known him for years

My gf right now is perfect

2:18 PM

Four months have felt more like 4 years

I can't do women

2:18 PM

I absolutely hate women

2:18 PM

Like I'm fine with my mom and shit

noba!

I absolutely hate women

Umm

But most women are just so fucking annoying

My gf is trans

I've been thru so much shit

2:18 PM

Most cause of women

2:19 PM

I've been accused of rape before

2:19 PM

And I was fucking 14

2:19 PM

It made me wanna kill myself

2:19 PM

I couldn't handle it

I’m sorta similar

2:20 PM

My mother has a number of mental health problems, and couldn’t afford medication for the longest time

2:20 PM

It still messes with me

I'm sorry to hear about that

2:21 PM

I used to hate my mom

2:21 PM

But now she's the closest I am to like anyone ever

I don’t hate mine anymore, but I’m sorta distant

2:23 PM

She’s in better condition now though

I geek out to my mom like 24/7 about all the cool shit I like and find stuff out about

I don’t really have anybody to do that with

2:29 PM

I guess my gf, but it’s clear she isn’t very interested in the things I am

2:31 PM

It’s hard to talk about warthunder to somebody who is more interested in retro style fighting games

My mom's only interested in the shit I am, cuz of me

2:31 PM

Same goes for my bf

2:31 PM

There's shit we both do genuinely like

2:31 PM

But they always hear me out, because it's something I'm interested in

2:32 PM

My mom's gonna watch the fnaf movie on her own, cuz it's something I'm interested in

2:32 PM

Idfk

2:32 PM

I'm at a really good point in my life and I'm very grateful

2:32 PM

And yet

2:32 PM

I have no friends

My gf does the same, but I feel like I’m just annoying

Most people like when someone they like, geeks out about what they like

2:34 PM

Especially if they actually care about that person

I feel like a nuisance

2:35 PM

I just kinda jump around online, finding a place talking about something I like, then moving in when the topic changes

I used to feel the same

2:36 PM

Just be yourself

2:36 PM

Don't let other peoples viewpoints change you, ever.

2:36 PM

Don't change for anyone.

2:36 PM

Find the people who love you, for who you truly are

2:36 PM

I've finally found mine

2:36 PM

After years and years

2:36 PM

Need some friends now

2:36 PM

But that'll come eventually

2:36 PM

Just don't give upm

2:36 PM

Up*

I don’t let people change me

2:37 PM

I just isolate myself from them

2:38 PM

It makes me lead a pretty lonely life, but I’m happier when I’m alone

Be yourself

2:38 PM

If your true self is a hermit, then whatever

2:38 PM

Not trying to influence you too much

I just like being alone

2:39 PM

I find most people to be annoying

2:39 PM

My gf is, so far, the only exception

Yippee!

I fucking hate people. That Is my vent for the day

pigeon._._.

I fucking hate people. That Is my vent for the day

Same

Babies and small children think a look weird

6:14 PM

It makes me sad :(

They're dumb Their thoughts of you should have no bearing on the way you view yourself. (edited)

6:17 PM

Also

6:17 PM

6:17 PM

Name your emoji

Damn

Hm

I went to eat some food

6:19 PM

And first thing I haird when I said tbat I didnt like food

6:20 PM

"Than starve to death"

6:20 PM

Fuck yoy mom

pigeon._._.

Name your emoji

Name it “eek!!”

6:21 PM

Or something like that :3

eek it is

I have such a sleep problem

7:05 PM

I woke up at 6 pm yesterday

7:05 PM

My schedule is like set in stone I sleep 8 hours and I can stay awake for 16 without feeling tired, so if I mess it up it's unbearable to fix it

7:06 PM

Melatonin has no effect on me either

Silly Vixen's Vent:

Mannn, I want Reese's in Romania, especially Reese's Puffs Shit feels fucking unfair (edited)

11:15 PM

### Vent over

i like reeses

We got Reese’s here

12:17 AM

Very limited

Is it bad that I always think that I would die in a car crash? It’s always something that I’ve thought about and the only way I see myself dying is because of that. I know it’s a dark topic but I’ve thought about every single way that it could happen and it’s always when either I get wrapped around a tree or not being able to stop that I’m always connecting to the most. It’s always something I’ve thought about

Something that I’ve also thought about is just the most random ways to die and if anyone would even remember me if I was gone? Who would show up to my funeral? Who would visit my grave? Would anyone care that I was gone or even remember me a week later? I know I have friends and a loving bf that care but I know this might be selfish of me and it kinda defeats what I’ve been saying but I wouldn’t want anyone to be sad over me being gone. I’m not afraid of dying but I’m afraid of what everyone else would do. I wouldn’t want them to fall into a depression or do self harm. Every single thing that could go wrong I think about constantly and wonder where would I go. I don’t know why but when I think of my future and I mean really think about it I eventually just get to black. I’m curious if that’s what it’s truly like.

1:44 AM

Idk why I think like this but it’s constantly on my mind.

I’m sad cause my gf won’t be back to cuddle for the rest of the night

3:15 AM

Now I’m lonely

3:15 AM

Butter Brawler

I’m sad cause my gf won’t be back to cuddle for the rest of the night

I’m so sorry my man

Yea

3:19 AM

I don’t have anybody to really hang out with

3:19 AM

I’m just kinda sitting around watching shitpost compilations till i fall asleep

sooo yesterday I was really excited to play AC Valhalla which I haven't played until april. But I found out that my save data was corruptted and everything was erased! now I have to start all over again! I worked so hard on that game too! it took me over three months to finish it!

(edited)

tricky

sooo yesterday I was really excited to play AC Valhalla which I haven't played until april. But I found out that my save data was corruptted and everything was erased! now I have to start all over again! I worked so hard on that game too! it took me over three months to finish it!

(edited)

Oh no, I’m so sorry :/

Guys I'm freaking out a bit

6:26 AM

I have surgery this Tuesday. Nothing dangerous, but still. I have a fear of surgery, no matter how small. I'm kinda worried

ClownMan

I have surgery this Tuesday. Nothing dangerous, but still. I have a fear of surgery, no matter how small. I'm kinda worried

It's okay. I'm sure everything is going to be okay and that you're going to be better. I understand it's scary but please don't try to think about it too much.

8:29 AM

I don't think you can change the surgery date so it's best to not add to the extra stress

I know, but still, it's like 2 days away. It's gonna suck :[

2D

It's okay. I'm sure everything is going to be okay and that you're going to be better. I understand it's scary but please don't try to think about it too much.

Thanks for the kind words. :]

ClownMan

I know, but still, it's like 2 days away. It's gonna suck :[

I know it's a lot to think about but try and find something else to occupy your mind

8:38 AM

Please

I'll try ._.

Thank youu

It’s 5:15, I know I should go back to sleep. If I do though, I’ll be tired when I wake up and hate myself, but if I don’t, I’ll be tired later in the day and hate myself. There’s no winning

My mom can't taste my Shakshuka because she burnt her tongue with it T-T

i throat punched a toddler with my nails on #so-dramatic-

(jk)

You ever just sit on the Home Screen of your console and contemplate your entire life for like 45 minutes straight? (edited)

4:03 AM

I got the feeling this isn’t healthy

4:03 AM

I need to start meditating again

Butter Brawler

You ever just sit on the Home Screen of your console and contemplate your entire life for like 45 minutes straight? (edited)

Yes

4:45 AM

It’s normal

Butter Brawler

You ever just sit on the Home Screen of your console and contemplate your entire life for like 45 minutes straight? (edited)

Average dead by daylight player. I do that every few games in high mmr

I've been staring at the wt hangar screen for 3 hours

5:30 AM

Me after losing ten times in row and getting custed out in the end game chat (I'm losing my fucking mind)

real.

Man I wish I didn't push people away from me so much ppl always end up leaving bcuz I'm doing too much or sum

(edited)

I can't join the Monolith faction in S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

My dad yelled at me for talking in my normal voice, cause I was too loud

1:51 AM

Yippee

Tf

1:52 AM

That sucks

Yea

1:52 AM

I can’t even talk regularly

1:52 AM

I gotta whisper

Does he hear you everywhere or sum

Apparently, he can hear me half way across the house from two closed rooms

Bs

Bros just looking for a reason to argue with you

Yeah

Today has been kinda shit, imma be honest

2:01 AM

School was terrible, cause I had to deal with more idiots than I can handle

2:01 AM

Bus ride home was bad cause somebody decided not to wear deodorant, and pull the window down so everybody could smell his two week unwashed sweat (edited)

2:02 AM

Haven’t had a bit of luck with any game I played

2:02 AM

And my family is more annoying that a wasp nest in a trucks toolbox

2:02 AM

I wish I got paid for this Shit

Don't we all

2:04 AM

Sorry you're dealing with all that shit

Eh it’s fine

2:11 AM

My day usually goes like this anyhow

.-.

And my gf lied to my face

2:18 AM

Granted, it was something completely insignificant, but I still didn’t like that

2:19 AM

What a day

Life is a fucking mess eh.

Yea

2:19 AM

I just kinda let it happen

2:20 AM

I’m done fighting

After everything I’ve done for my fucking bf, he ghosts me and than just says he doesn’t love me anymore

2:26 AM

I’ve sacrificed valuable time to talk with him

2:26 AM

I’ve been worried sick for him

2:26 AM

I’m more mad than sad

I’m so so sorry that’s happening to you

2:26 AM

That’s so awful

im lonely

After everything I’ve done for my fucking bf, he ghosts me and than just says he doesn’t love me anymore

I feel you on that one

2:27 AM

Been through the exact same thing

I’m willing to listen if you need to talk about it (edited)

Oh I’m gonna say some things alright, I’ve sacrificed time, ignored my friends, disrespected my family, disappointed my friends, and told of my brother, for my fucking bf. EX boyfriend now

Oh dear

2:30 AM

Was he

2:30 AM

I mean

2:31 AM

Did you think he was manipulative?

What? No he wasn’t in anyway manipulative when we talked or in anyway visible or verbal way

Oh ok

2:32 AM

I was just wondering sorry

No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound mad or rude I’m sorry

No no no you didn’t sound rude

2:34 AM

I just didn’t mean to pry

It’s okay, you didn’t

Ok..

2:34 AM

So how long did he ghost you exactly?

Well I haven’t messaged him for a couple days because I’ve actually been busy helping my family around the house and busy with school and my own hobbies so I haven’t talked with him for the past 6-4 days, and I tried to talk with him in the past two days, but my DM’s haven’t gone through, so I checked and it said that he blocked me

2:36 AM

I’m done with this

2:36 AM

I’m gonna take a shower

Ok

I shouldn’t have dug..

Dug?

I dug hoping if I could the reason of his bf not responding..

Sorry I’m super dumb

2:42 AM

Wdym dug?

I went digging to see if I could find the reason

2:42 AM

Past tense for dig

Investigated

I Sherlock Holmes it

How did you go about your digging?

He wanted me to check on him to see if he was okay since he couldn’t get in contact with him and his bf told me

2:46 AM

He didn’t know me and wolfgames are besties so he just straight up told me that he didn’t love him anymore and I was just immediately heartbroken and enraged..

Oh ok

2:47 AM

But

2:48 AM

Why enraged?

2:50 AM

Oh wait I forgot he blocked him

Because how are you gonna be so much of a pos that you’ll break it to someone else and not your actual bf

2:50 AM

That’s so fucked

2:50 AM

And just dragging him along like that is even worse

That is awful

2:51 AM

He shouldn’t have just ghosted him he should have just told wolf

Exactly

2:55 AM

I’m freaking the fuck out rn..

2:55 AM

H-he might be dead..

2:56 AM

There’s a 17 year old kid shot and killed close in his state and now I’m really fucking scared…

Wolf is 14 so I'm assuming the other guy

Oh my god

Okay false alarm

2:58 AM

The kid isn’t him

Ok good

Now where is he..

He said he was going to take a shower

Not wolf

2:59 AM

I know he’s taking a shower

Oh

Alright I’m gonna call it a night

3:00 AM

Goodbye

Alright

3:01 AM

Good night 2D

3:01 AM

Sweet dreams

Goodnight

3:03 AM

Nerd

pigeon._._.

Nerd

Dork

Ms. Cat

Sweet dreams

No sleep

O

3:06 AM

Ok

3:07 AM

Sweet insomnia :3

Too much of a sugar high

Sweet sweet sugar high

Mhm

You'll crash

3:08 AM

And when you do

3:09 AM

I'll be there to draw silly things on your face

Okay

3:09 AM

It doesn’t matter

3:09 AM

He’s ignoring me..

3:09 AM

Yay…

Bro seems like a dick then

I just don’t know what I did he just stopped dming me since Halloween and has been online but hasn’t been responding to me

Something changed It's not worth your time

Do you really think so?..

Something may have changed

He’s not talking..

It’s absolutely worth your time

3:13 AM

To see what’s up

I’m trying but nothings working

And if you can fix it

I can’t fix it if he won’t say anything

You also shouldn’t panic too quickly

Oh my god

That's why I believe it isn't worth your time I could be wrong tho

Enough

3:14 AM

Fuck it

No

3:14 AM

What are you doing

3:15 AM

He might just be afk :<

3:15 AM

Or he might have

3:15 AM

Uh (edited)

3:15 AM

Forgotten to respond or something?

How could he forget…

3:36 AM

Actually how..

I forget to respond to people all the time ._.

3:38 AM

Well not all the time

3:38 AM

But it happens

3:41 AM

Sorry I should stop trying to play devil’s advocate…

I don’t care anymore

Bestie please don’t do anything bad

Yeah what he said

Turn off my phone

3:48 AM

So many messages I wish I could just delete

2D

So many messages I wish I could just delete

wym?

2d went cow mode Shits serious

4:12 AM

Oop

4:12 AM

Wrong channel

4:12 AM

Mb

Fuck you

Ouch

4:19 AM

But fair

I edated for the first time a bout a month ago and then after two weeks got blocked wasnt even given a reason

Damn

Ye

4:54 AM

It was crazy

# AH

◇□Dustyknees□◇

It was crazy

Crazy?

I hate being in fucking hospital (edited)

suddenly feeling like killing myself yet again!!!

Deleted User

suddenly feeling like killing myself yet again!!!

Oh no, why?

i feel so useless now

7:02 PM

like

7:02 PM

ughhajwjwh

7:02 PM

i dont know

7:02 PM

idk anym4oe

7:02 PM

i hate everythint

7:02 PM

and everyone

Deleted User

i feel so useless now

But you aren’t, you’re amazing friend

Deleted User

i feel so useless now

You are wonderful! I belive in you, You will make a career!

NO BECAUSE IM SURE MY BF COMMITTED. OR DID SOMETHING BAD TO HISMELF.

9:03 PM

im gonna

9:03 PM

I cant do this wjthout him

9:04 PM

IM HAVING THE WORST DAY TOO.

Deleted User

NO BECAUSE IM SURE MY BF COMMITTED. OR DID SOMETHING BAD TO HISMELF.

If you need someone to talk to I’m always here for you and anyone else who needs help

thankyou

9:10 PM

im sk scared

9:10 PM

love him

9:10 PM

o love him

9:10 PM

omg

9:10 PM

i love him so much

9:10 PM

its

9:10 PM

tomorrows our 1 week thing

9:10 PM

1 week since we got together he means the world to me already

9:10 PM

im just worried hes not ok cause its been hours and he shouldve been active

9:10 PM

im just overthinking

And that’s great I’m glad you two have been having such a good time

Deleted User

im just worried hes not ok cause its been hours and he shouldve been active

How long has he been gone?

Uhh

9:11 PM

3-4 hours

9:11 PM

hes behind me w one hour and its 10 pm for me

9:11 PM

i dont know anymore

9:11 PM

i bet hes fine but.

9:11 PM

im

9:11 PM

i cant stop worrying

I wanna jump off a bridge.

im also concerned ab my grandma possibly meeting her end soon. shes not feeling well at all . and now i got my bf to worry about. i dont know what tf to do

MX$HPIT

I wanna jump off a bridge.

felt that. but please dont

Deleted User

i cant stop worrying

Hey might just be busy it’s okay

9:13 PM

I promise he will reach out to you as soon as he can

9:13 PM

I know you’re worried

i dont know because he keeps saying he has suicide thoughts

9:13 PM

and all that

9:14 PM

and he promised he wont leave me no matter what

But he wouldn’t just leave you

we are supposed to meet in february

9:14 PM

i dont know

9:14 PM

im scared if hes in danger IDK

9:14 PM

I CANT THINK

Hey

9:14 PM

It’s okay

9:14 PM

He promised he wouldn’t leave you no matter what

9:14 PM

I understand he has those thoughts

he left me on seen before tho. im just

But he promised

:(((

Deleted User

he left me on seen before tho. im just

I know you’re upset

9:15 PM

Cmere

9:15 PM

hugs tightly

thank you sm i cant stop crying

MX$HPIT

I wanna jump off a bridge.

Why?

Deleted User

thank you sm i cant stop crying

Hey it’s okay

He’ll be back soon

2D

Why?

I hate life.

MX$HPIT

I hate life.

Why do you hate life?

Because people suck

9:16 PM

I mean assholes

MX$HPIT

Because people suck

I can agree with you on that

What makes you say that?

9:16 PM

I understand people suck

9:16 PM

But why let people get you down that badly?

I talk to people and they end up so toxic towards me.

9:16 PM

I don’t get it.

Do you know why?

Not at all.

Hmm

9:17 PM

Then those people don’t deserve you

I talk a lot about music and don’t stfu about it

At all

I think I’m just annoying

MX$HPIT

I talk a lot about music and don’t stfu about it

If it’s really that big of a deal then they could say something

9:17 PM

It’s not you friend

I see.

They don’t deserve you if they can’t see your worth

9:18 PM

hugs

9:18 PM

I want you to know something okay

9:18 PM

I want you to know that you are loved

9:18 PM

By your family and true friends

My family sucks

9:19 PM

Always fighting

Well what about your true friends?

They’re never really there. Probably because we don’t talk.

Do you want a new friend?

9:19 PM

I’d be more then happy to be with you as a friend ^^

Sure. But I’m pretty dry with convo

I don’t mind

I feel like an adult often act like one but I'm 14 what do I do

Well are you happy with acting like one?

Yes

2D

He’ll be back soon

hes ok he was at the fnaf movie

i hate my overthinking.

lazysock98_1.1

I feel like an adult often act like one but I'm 14 what do I do

I feel the same way.

Deleted User

hes ok he was at the fnaf movie

i hate my overthinking.

See

9:23 PM

I told you he’d be okay

lazysock98_1.1

Yes

Then do what makes you happy friend

alright.

If you’re genuinely happy with it then I say go for it yes you’re 14 but that just means you’re maturing sooner then others

lazysock98_1.1

I feel like an adult often act like one but I'm 14 what do I do

Well, wait for all the responsibilities and blows of life then my son.

1:39 AM

Growing up faster only means the situation is bad.

1:40 AM

I hope everything gets better

1:40 AM

My mental heath is declining and my thoughts are getting darker very dark that's all I can say

5:05 AM

And I feel like a piece of shit knowing I think these thoughts but can't actually do anything with them

Teankyn

Growing up faster only means the situation is bad.

Eh, I just needed to get independent slightly earlier

How do I do pike pushups and why I'm feeling them in my abs and not shoulders

5:51 PM

what's this anomaly

forestgio7

And I feel like a piece of shit knowing I think these thoughts but can't actually do anything with them

It’s ok You can always talk to someone about it trust me I know how you feel

Man I hate it when someone doesnt give me signs that theyre okay or at least alive. It might be my overthinking mind but Ive always been SO damn scared to lose someone.

9:15 PM

aaaaa how do i stop thisss

This is where I can't help but relate

Deleted User

Man I hate it when someone doesnt give me signs that theyre okay or at least alive. It might be my overthinking mind but Ive always been SO damn scared to lose someone.

Same

:(

9:19 PM

Just another one of those days

9:20 PM

Someone who was close to me faked their death 2 years ago or something and um, ever since then ì feel like everyone who doesnt answer me in at least 1 hour is dead.

9:20 PM

Really wish I could tell what the fuck my bf is doing but okay. Long distance relationship be like I guess.

Oh no, I’m so sorry

Its okayyy

You need to wait patiently for a response. Honestly. Why do something stupid for a person at such a young age? Also Nit the place to talk about suicide or suicidal ideation. Read the rules.

10:18 PM

(Or mutilation)

I wish I was a lizard

3:22 AM

I just wanna sit on a rock in the sun all day

3:23 AM

No thoughts, no problems, just rock

3:23 AM

Eat a bug ever now and then

3:23 AM

That’s the life

I wish I had someone love me that isn’t my family

You’ll find them

Idk about that, because I’m scared that if I find someone like that, they’ll just fall out of love with me (edited)

People change, especially at the age we are

3:25 AM

It’s natural

3:25 AM

You just have to roll with the punches

Yeah, I guess you’re right. Thanks butter

You’re welcome man

Do you want some compliments? Just because I feel useless doesn’t mean I can’t compliment you

I don’t really care either way

3:29 AM

I function just fine with or without them

Okay, I’m gonna compliment you, because you deserve them

3:32 AM

You’re an amazing and beautiful person that I’m glad to have met in my life because without you and the other people I’ve met, I think I’d be six feet under a grave stone, thank you butter.

Of course bro

3:35 AM

I’m here if you need

3:35 AM

Assuming I’m not passed out of course

I know, just thank you butter, your lover is a lucky person

I’m the lucky one

3:36 AM

I never deserved somebody like him, yet here I am

3:36 AM

Nothing short of a miracle

After what you’ve done for me, you deserved every good thing that’s to come and you deserve everything

Too many things weigh too heavy on me to agree with you, but I appreciate it

Of course, you deserve every miracle and good thing in the world

Now you’re just talking crazy

No, I’m talking the truth

I really don’t deserve anything

3:42 AM

With what I’ve done, and the fact I don’t do anything productive, I don’t deserve it

Don’t ever say that again, you deserve everything, I don’t care how much you deny it or how much you self deprecate yourself, you deserved your lover, you deserve friends, you deserve to be loved and cared for, you deserve all good things, you deserve all miracles, you deserve everything.

I’m not that good of a person

You may not think of yourself as such but i think you are

What zero said

Nonsense

3:45 AM

I’m way more sinner than I am saint

You’re an amazing and great beautiful person that has helped me more in my life than I think a therapist would, you’ve helped me in ways I don’t think my parents have, if it wasn’t for you, or zero, or help, or gae, or 2D and some other people. I would be six feet under a gravestone, with my family crying over my grave

You list so many who’s help more than I have, and yet you still hold me to some high regards

3:48 AM

I insist they deserve way more of the credit

They all deserve equal credit for all the help they’ve given me on the time I’ve been here, and that includes you bitter

They have helped much more than i have

3:50 AM

I insist you give them much more credit than me

Ok but you can't just say you haven't

3:51 AM

You def helped somehow

3:51 AM

and i applaude you for it

Yeah. You can’t say that you haven’t helped. You’ve helped me and others

3:51 AM

And I join zero in the applause

My help has been next to none

3:53 AM

I don’t deserve hardly any credit

Your help has been next to 1st in my book

I feel like it’s been minor at most

Just because you feel like that doesn’t mean it’s true, it’s been major for me

My body feels like it hates me rn

4:30 AM

Everything hurts

Oh no, are you okay? What happened?

Might have an infection

Symptoms?

Yeah I’m gonna leave zero up to this because I’m a little useless right now, so good luck zero.

0_N30

Symptoms?

Fever, and achs

4:54 AM

Plus my head hurts

4:54 AM

We just called the doctor, and they said it's caused by me not doing enough deep breaths

4:54 AM

Like when I wake up and go to sleep

i see...

4:58 AM

hmm

5:00 AM

it could be an infection

5:01 AM

because of the fever and aches

Guys who workout here: Try wall sits, it's a leg killer

7:14 AM

Not even 2 minutes and I'm shivering my timbers

lazysock98_1.1

Guys who workout here: Try wall sits, it's a leg killer

Can confirm, when I did them in middle school for football, it killed me every time

As punishing as pull ups or plank (sometimes)

Oh no, wall sits are worse than planks for me

for me both are difficult

7:18 AM

I think I can do wall sits slightly longer than plank though

So I wanted to get some off my chest, It feels as if I'm in the wrong skin, I want to act more feminine I want a bf and all that stuff, but due to my living situation, I can't. I feel like a can't be honest with my mom out of fear of her worrying about me. She gonna think I'm trans if I dump this on her. Like try explaining what a "femboy" is to a 44 year old mom. She not transphobic or anything, but I don't want her worrying about me. And besides that most of the friends I've had in my life would have probably made fun of me for saying I wanted to be a femboy. I was imbarest from them calling me a furry

10:36 AM

Some times I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, like, the only feminine thing a can do is work on my thighs

10:37 AM

Anyway, my medication is starting to be to over powering. Good night

10:38 AM

you can try to be a closeted femboy if you really want it, just keeping it a secret

10:45 AM

About the friends, if they bully you more than help you just trash them, nobody wants to get pulled back by other people

10:46 AM

I don't think I'll help much however, I've never been or dealt with similar situations

Thank you for the advice

1

I’ll be honest

1:22 AM

Today has just been one of those days

1:22 AM

And I don’t know how many more “it is what it is” I got left in me

Butter Brawler

And I don’t know how many more “it is what it is” I got left in me

I feel you, man. Hang in there

I’m trying

1:37 AM

Shit keeps piling on and on

Yeah, I've had a lot of days like that, the best thing you can do some times is move on

Some of this stuff is

1:44 AM

I can’t just move on from it

ClownMan

So I wanted to get some off my chest, It feels as if I'm in the wrong skin, I want to act more feminine I want a bf and all that stuff, but due to my living situation, I can't. I feel like a can't be honest with my mom out of fear of her worrying about me. She gonna think I'm trans if I dump this on her. Like try explaining what a "femboy" is to a 44 year old mom. She not transphobic or anything, but I don't want her worrying about me. And besides that most of the friends I've had in my life would have probably made fun of me for saying I wanted to be a femboy. I was imbarest from them calling me a furry

:3

so I started dating a person who used to be in this server there name was kai anyway whenever I had to go somewhere for a little bit they would tell me to fuck off and say that I'm horrible person and shit like that so I was leaving my house to go somewhere and I forgot to tell him that I was leaving to go somewhere and I wouldn't have internet access so he proceeded to get extremely mad at me and say a whole bunch of mean stuff to me they also cut themselves and I felt guilty over that cause I felt like I caused it even though they told me i didn't i just felt sick with myself and then after that we fixed our relationship and then i told them that my phone was about to die so i should probably put it away to save battery to which they told me to fuck off and that they hated me and that I'm also getting blocked from that point on I had to hold tears in till I got home cause I was with my family as soon as I got home I went to my room and cried like the entire night and contemplated killing myself multiple times and then went to bed now waking up I feel like the only other thing then feeling numb is sadness

5:57 PM

Sorry

5:58 PM

I didnt know

◇□Dustyknees□◇

so I started dating a person who used to be in this server there name was kai anyway whenever I had to go somewhere for a little bit they would tell me to fuck off and say that I'm horrible person and shit like that so I was leaving my house to go somewhere and I forgot to tell him that I was leaving to go somewhere and I wouldn't have internet access so he proceeded to get extremely mad at me and say a whole bunch of mean stuff to me they also cut themselves and I felt guilty over that cause I felt like I caused it even though they told me i didn't i just felt sick with myself and then after that we fixed our relationship and then i told them that my phone was about to die so i should probably put it away to save battery to which they told me to fuck off and that they hated me and that I'm also getting blocked from that point on I had to hold tears in till I got home cause I was with my family as soon as I got home I went to my room and cried like the entire night and contemplated killing myself multiple times and then went to bed now waking up I feel like the only other thing then feeling numb is sadness

Bro, nothing in that story you just told is your fault. None of what you just said is your fault, it sounds to me like they were just emotionally manipulating you, I’m sorry that happened to you, but none of what you said is your fault.

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Okay will do

◇□Dustyknees□◇

so I started dating a person who used to be in this server there name was kai anyway whenever I had to go somewhere for a little bit they would tell me to fuck off and say that I'm horrible person and shit like that so I was leaving my house to go somewhere and I forgot to tell him that I was leaving to go somewhere and I wouldn't have internet access so he proceeded to get extremely mad at me and say a whole bunch of mean stuff to me they also cut themselves and I felt guilty over that cause I felt like I caused it even though they told me i didn't i just felt sick with myself and then after that we fixed our relationship and then i told them that my phone was about to die so i should probably put it away to save battery to which they told me to fuck off and that they hated me and that I'm also getting blocked from that point on I had to hold tears in till I got home cause I was with my family as soon as I got home I went to my room and cried like the entire night and contemplated killing myself multiple times and then went to bed now waking up I feel like the only other thing then feeling numb is sadness

It isnt your fault dw about it

7:36 PM

They should have patience and forgive you even if u did something wrong

7:37 PM

And theyd help u fix it

7:37 PM

Thats what a relationship is

7:37 PM

:p

Hi sebby

Hi mal

I know non of ya care but shits getting worse and worse. Parents arguing is only getting worse with every day. Today from yelling at eachother they went to insults and yelling at top of theyr lungs. Cant wait untill they gonna drag me in the middle of it all heyyy_sayori

. My mom has no sens of privecy, goes thru my stuff, walks into my room whenever she likes it and complains when I say I dont like it. She always acts as everything is my fault. Im tired guys. Im not looking here for a long term help, I just want to know what I can do to save the left bits of my mental health.

not gay

I know non of ya care but shits getting worse and worse. Parents arguing is only getting worse with every day. Today from yelling at eachother they went to insults and yelling at top of theyr lungs. Cant wait untill they gonna drag me in the middle of it all heyyy_sayori

. My mom has no sens of privecy, goes thru my stuff, walks into my room whenever she likes it and complains when I say I dont like it. She always acts as everything is my fault. Im tired guys. Im not looking here for a long term help, I just want to know what I can do to save the left bits of my mental health.

God, I'm going through something similar and I wish I had advice for this The best you can do is look on the bright side of things where ever you can And try and get out of there

10:42 PM

I wish you the very best, hang in there

ClownMan

God, I'm going through something similar and I wish I had advice for this The best you can do is look on the bright side of things where ever you can And try and get out of there

https://youtu.be/SJUhlRoBL8M?si=odqyvAm5MnJyW3QK

Melonhead622

Eric Idle - "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" - STEREO HQ

good shit

I agree

ClownMan

God, I'm going through something similar and I wish I had advice for this The best you can do is look on the bright side of things where ever you can And try and get out of there

Night :3

don’t you hate it when that one friend which you used to talk to for hours everyday for about a year suddenly starts ghosting you and being super dry

Deleted User

don’t you hate it when that one friend which you used to talk to for hours everyday for about a year suddenly starts ghosting you and being super dry

Happened to me once, it sucked, i really miss her

yea

Worst thing is that we go to the same school and sometime just pass each other in the hallways acting like we don’t exist

Be the bigger man and talk to her....

im lonely

Worst thing is that we go to the same school and sometime just pass each other in the hallways acting like we don’t exist

ouch

pigeon._._.

Be the bigger man and talk to her....

evertime you try they’re super dry

Sorry I meant that for wolf Not sure what you could do red

ah

.-.

mb

pigeon._._.

Be the bigger man and talk to her....

I’ve tried to actually walk up to her and say hi and hello or something like that, all she does is ignore me

Ah... Yeah, that's a dead friendship unless you do something big for them

Yeah, it sucks

Best to just move on at that point Find someone who actually wants to be around you Don't chase after the ones who don't (Not saying you are, just saying I did and it only made things worse)

pigeon._._.

Best to just move on at that point Find someone who actually wants to be around you Don't chase after the ones who don't (Not saying you are, just saying I did and it only made things worse)

Yeah, and I have. This friend of mine (I’ll cal her Chile) that used to be her friend, me and Chile are really cool, the friend that ignores me I think did something bad to chile because Chile hasn’t hung out with the other friend for a while, so that’s good I guess. :3

Yeah

1:29 AM

Cut the toxic ones out of your life

Already have

If they can't tell you what went wrong, then fug em

I wish I had someone who actually wanted me and wanted to be around me

2

1:30 AM

I guess I am way too picky but I hate being alone

1:30 AM

It is so god damn dumb

1:30 AM

I just want someone who wants to hold me and love me

I relate to that so bad

1:32 AM

The only people who want me are bottoms, and me being a bottom myself doesn't make that work

1:33 AM

I can't find a top that's my type either..

1

1:33 AM

I hate it

just a lemon

I just want someone who wants to hold me and love me

Too true

1:35 AM

I just need someone that I like, and that likes me back

1:36 AM

It's either always people who I'm not into who are in my dms, or people that are bottoms

1:36 AM

Which I just won't date tbh

1:36 AM

(Bottom + Someone who's exclusively a bottom does not work)

Thats why switches are cool tho

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Let him vent

1:37 AM

Yup

Leaf_Leafington

Thats why switches are cool tho

Truw

Even tho most people want me to be the more masculine one in a relationship just cause I have more masculine features

1:38 AM

But I dont mind

Leaf_Leafington

Even tho most people want me to be the more masculine one in a relationship just cause I have more masculine features

Same here

1:39 AM

Tho the only realthinship I have been happy in I was treated exactly like I wanted to be

1:39 AM

And it was amazing

I used to be a switch, but I've just started to not wanna top people more and more

1:39 AM

Only bottoms have asked me out for like... 5 months

just a lemon

And it was amazing

And than no one has been like him

just a lemon

Tho the only realthinship I have been happy in I was treated exactly like I wanted to be

Lucky

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Legit same thing just happened to me

1:40 AM

Had to break up with the guy even though I really liked him

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Mine just lost interest in me

He just never responded to me for over a month

Most people do

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Preach brother preach

I have been with a lot of people who seemed fine for like the first three-four weeks, then I found out some bad stuff they do/did

5hyn3ss

I have been with a lot of people who seemed fine for like the first three-four weeks, then I found out some bad stuff they do/did

Thats just life but in the end we just gotta pull through

I just want someone really specific

1:42 AM

I am probably gonna be alone for a while

Leaf_Leafington

Thats just life but in the end we just gotta pull through

I guess

1:42 AM

Someone cheated on me with three people at ONCE

1:42 AM

Someone used me for money

1:42 AM

Someone lied about everything to me

1:42 AM

Three people now have ended up ghosting me

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Kinda hard to describe

Sometimes I really feel like it's just me atp..

Same

5hyn3ss

Someone lied about everything to me

Dude not gonna lie its sounds like youve gone through alot and I cant say how cool it is that your still pulling through

Leaf_Leafington

Dude not gonna lie its sounds like youve gone through alot and I cant say how cool it is that your still pulling through

One of the people even leaked pictures of my face and stuff

1:43 AM

Leaked my irl name to people

1:43 AM

My hometown

5hyn3ss

Leaked my irl name to people

I am really sorry

5hyn3ss

My hometown

Yeah thats the bad part of online dating is that can happen

1:44 AM

It sucks

All because I said they were being toxic because they lied about everything including their gender to me

1:45 AM

And y'know

1:45 AM

Being a man kind of means a lot to a GAY MAN

Yeah ive had people lie to me about there age its not fun

1:46 AM

But like i said in the end we just gotta keep on keeping up

Age gaps are the worst tbh

1:46 AM

I'm glad nobody's really lied about that part

1:46 AM

Except for one

1:46 AM

Pretty much, yeah

1:47 AM

I get S/A'd at school daily

1:47 AM

Yelled at by homophobic parents

1:47 AM

Hit at school, too

1:47 AM

And some other stuff I can't say, but uh

1:47 AM

It's in the pinned message

1:47 AM

<:)

1:48 AM

My mom yells at me 24/7 and calls me names

1:48 AM

That sorta stuff

5hyn3ss

It's in the pinned message

Oh man I'm so sorry

Laughs WITH HER FRIENDS about how she verbally abuses me

1:49 AM

I get starved cuz I tried to come out at 13

1:49 AM

Like

1:49 AM

She REALLY doesn't like me being gay

1:49 AM

One meal a day

I am really really sot

5hyn3ss

I get starved cuz I tried to come out at 13

Dude thats some like call cps shit not gonna lie

Sorry

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

I'll dm you about it

Leaf_Leafington

Dude thats some like call cps shit not gonna lie

That wouldn't help tbh

1:50 AM

If people at my school found out I was in a foster home or smth

1:50 AM

Yeesh..

1:50 AM

I already get abused enough

1:53 AM

I'd rather just like..

1:53 AM

Wait the four years until I can move out..

1:56 AM

I don't necessarily feel comfortable just having a new family too

1:56 AM

I have severe trust issues

1:56 AM

I can't trust anybody, no matter how long I know the,

1:57 AM

14...

Gah damn

2D

Gah damn

Yeah...

Yeah no..

2:00 AM

I'm in 9th grade and this stuff is happenin'

Well hey if you ever need to talk I am here

Tysm

2:01 AM

<:3

Why does nobody like me mannnn..

2:56 AM

I have like two friends and they both talk shit behind my back

2:57 AM

I just don't bring it up so they don't leave like everyone else..

2:57 AM

At this point I'd rather have toxic friends than no friends

2:57 AM

Because even if they're fake, it's still someone to talk to..

Y

he’s purposely slurring his words

6:18 AM

you cannot make this up

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

like 300 mg is lethal dose

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

I really hope your joking cause go to the fucking hospital if your not

he’s not trying to joke

6:22 AM

but he’s no being truthful

My parents and teachers don't believe I'll quickly fill the gaps after 2 weeks on antibiotic

6:40 AM

They don't know me son

I was dating this dude online and he randomly got his phone taken away cause he was closeted and his mom found out so he stopped texting me. I waited 3 weeks of no contact to talk to this dude again now I just got a messesge saying hes blocking me everywhere.

1:00 PM

I feel sick

Its ok things happen

1:06 PM

U shouldn’t feel sick

1:06 PM

U should keep goin until u find the right one :3

Sebby:3

U should keep goin until u find the right one :3

Yeah your right its just sucks but at the end of the day I just gotta keep on keeping up

I don’t want to go to school today mannnn

1:23 PM

My mom’s forcing me to go

1:24 PM

In first period, which is my gym class, I have to do wrestling

1:24 PM

With my past with the kids at this school, just..

1:24 PM

Damn.

1:24 PM

I already know that someone’s going to try to do some shit to me..

Its oki man life is tough!

3:05 PM

But you are tougher!!!!!

3:05 PM

Meow

3:05 PM

:3

3:06 PM

Wha

Sebby:3

But you are tougher!!!!!

I guessss

3:36 PM

I’m not tough at all though…

Same tbh but still

I wish I could just be happy..

️

5:58 PM

it’s ok

I wish I found someone I loved.

7:10 PM

I wish I wasn’t picky.

7:10 PM

Or a dick.

7:10 PM

Or that I didn’t get abused by everyone in my life.

Time to go cry again...

5hyn3ss

Time to go cry again...

Cry in a mans arms

I wish I could...

8:49 PM

But, y'know..

8:50 PM

I have nobody's arms to cry into.

8:50 PM

I never have

8:50 PM

And I probably never will

5hyn3ss

I have nobody's arms to cry into.

Aint even gonna ask for mine?

Idk if you'd even let me..

9:11 PM

Cuz nobody else has..

Help pls i need more gay people to talk to, all my friends are straight and i mean it's nice to talk about normal things and stuff, but i just lack gayness in my life

MLN_SLMK7

Help pls i need more gay people to talk to, all my friends are straight and i mean it's nice to talk about normal things and stuff, but i just lack gayness in my life

Well you have come to the right place like almost everyone here is some form of gay

Yes but also irl, it's so hard to know who's gay and who not

MLN_SLMK7

Yes but also irl, it's so hard to know who's gay and who not

Well if your has a gsa club you could join that

Easier said than done :/

10:14 PM

So that's smth some school have?

Yeah atleast my school has one its a way to meet lgtq people at your school

Ehm okay that's interesting thanks

10:18 PM

All i hear about at my school is like the student clubs for drinking and partying, never of a lgbt club

10:18 PM

Which doesn't surprise me tbh but okay

Sometimes I feel like I'll never y'know

10:22 PM

Find 'the one'

10:22 PM

Istg I hate that feeling..

10:22 PM

There's so many people I like, but they're always missing one thing I need

10:22 PM

Whether is be looking half decent

10:23 PM

Or

10:23 PM

Showing/Wanting to show physical affection

10:23 PM

Or just being kind

10:23 PM

Some of them are just Asexual, too

10:23 PM

I think like, three of the people who've hit on me this year have been

There my parents go again, making fun of me thinking I can't hear it.

11:05 PM

I'll never find a single person who I want to be with, will I.

U definitely

11:16 PM

Will

11:16 PM

I thought the same tbh

11:16 PM

Until i found @ClownMan :>

11:16 PM

Just keep trying your best

11:16 PM

And remember to be yourself!

Sebby:3

Until i found @ClownMan :>

:v

Oh..

11:19 PM

I'm being stalked online now.

11:19 PM

Can my life get any FUCKING WORSE AT THIS POINT?!

11:20 PM

LIKE DAMN.

11:20 PM

I'm going to be COMPLETELY ALONE for a long ass time because I probably won't find the person I want to be with forever until it's already too late. (edited)

11:20 PM

Everything will be fine

I have FIVE DAMN PEOPLE in my dms right now.

11:20 PM

FOUR OF THEM are bottoms.

11:20 PM

And one is a DAMN PEDOPHILE

3

U could talk to me if y want

11:21 PM

But im eepy af

Art has a real relatable status right now.

11:22 PM

It's too bad I'm not in the U.S, isn't it. (edited)

11:24 PM

I'll always be fucking alone.

11:24 PM

Both irl, and online.

11:25 PM

If I were to say what I truly want to do, I'd probably be kicked from the server or some shit..

11:26 PM

I'm scared of being alone.

11:26 PM

I can barely handle the thought of it.

11:26 PM

Yet it'll happen.

11:26 PM

It currently is too.

well basically i met this guy, he was nice and we had a great time talking to eachother and i thought we both were developing feelings for each other but then while i was sleeping he blocked me lol, after he said he wanted to focus on "us"

Nexcessary!

well basically i met this guy, he was nice and we had a great time talking to eachother and i thought we both were developing feelings for each other but then while i was sleeping he blocked me lol, after he said he wanted to focus on "us"

well i know where your coming from and the best you can do is focus on yourself for the time being

yeah ig

Nexcessary!

well basically i met this guy, he was nice and we had a great time talking to eachother and i thought we both were developing feelings for each other but then while i was sleeping he blocked me lol, after he said he wanted to focus on "us"

Do you know anyone that knows him?

not really

Then he probably found someone else sadly

ye

4:44 AM

but overnight? idk maybe

Dw one day the perfect man or woman (whatever your into) will be there for you

Nexcessary!

but overnight? idk maybe

Well, he could have met them before but they grew feelings

ah ok

5hyn3ss

There my parents go again, making fun of me thinking I can't hear it.

Assholes

Got hit more in gym class today..

3:28 PM

I just want one day where I don’t get fucking abused..

3:29 PM

I would send a picture of one of the marks but I’m not level 5 or whatever.

Damn, okay. So people are going out of they're way to attack you?

5hyn3ss

I just want one day where I don’t get fucking abused..

What’s going on?

# CUNTS

3

♠ 𝕄𝕔𝕊𝕒𝕦𝕔𝕖𝕪 ♠

# CUNTS

Sorry that missed this, but what?

ClownMan

Sorry that missed this, but what?

Don’t worry all good now

That's good happyboykisser

vinegarcookie

What’s going on?

Got hit again at school.

1:00 AM

Can't do anything about it.

5hyn3ss

Got hit again at school.

Like, people bullying you kinda thing?

1:23 AM

Ah

1:23 AM

That’s not cool

Oh well

My vent is that ppl r weird, I want homies lmao not stalkers

𝕮𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖆

My vent is that ppl r weird, I want homies lmao not stalkers

Valid

Met someone on here and they blocked me the same day (edited)

5:23 AM

I know im annoying but

5:23 AM

rly hurt

5:24 AM

They were so kind and then poof

5:24 AM

Blocked

happens

Okay chat would it be possible if anyone forgot I existed if I just vanished one day?

2D

Okay chat would it be possible if anyone forgot I existed if I just vanished one day?

no your engraved into my head

Leaf_Leafington

no your engraved into my head

Eh all engravings can eventually buff out

2D

Eh all engravings can eventually buff out

ok let me rephrase

Hmm?

2D

Eh all engravings can eventually buff out

youve scared me

How so?

Leaf_Leafington

youve scared me

scarred

All scars fade

but never go away

So much where you won’t notice them anymore

2D

So much where you won’t notice them anymore

not the big ones

I have scars on my hands where I crash

1:32 AM

But all of you would be okay

2D

But all of you would be okay

no i would not

Why not?

1:33 AM

You’ve known me less then a week I believe

2D

You’ve known me less then a week I believe

still your funny and a caring dude theres not alot of people like you

I’m not a 1:1

1:34 AM

You’ll find someone else like me

1:34 AM

I know you will

i dont want to tho

Why?

because everyone is unique in there own way sometimes you will never meet a person like another

Sometimes

1:35 AM

But never zero

2D

But never zero

but i dont want to take that fucking chance

No I’m sick

1:36 AM

I’ve been having tremors that I can’t control from welding fumes

2D

I’ve been having tremors that I can’t control from welding fumes

go lay down and go to the hospital if you need

I’m gonna get an appointment but I’ve been so stressed all the time

1:38 AM

I haven’t had a break from anything in over 9 months since my 2 jobs,school,and now my health is declining

1:39 AM

My coworker has left me out to dry for him just leaving without notice and I get yelled at for not being there on time

2D

I haven’t had a break from anything in over 9 months since my 2 jobs,school,and now my health is declining

take a fucking break man if this shit is literally killing you then take some days off

My boss/friend died this September and that put me down in a spiral

Leaf_Leafington

take a fucking break man if this shit is literally killing you then take some days off

I can’t

1:40 AM

My family is about to go into a civil war and I’m the only person holding everything together,welding can’t stop,and I can’t let the cows starve and I’m the only person who feeds since my coworker isn’t reliable

2D

My boss/friend died this September and that put me down in a spiral

that sucks and you should grieve in your own way dont be afraid to be sad about it

My academics have been kinda declining recently from the stress

2D

My family is about to go into a civil war and I’m the only person holding everything together,welding can’t stop,and I can’t let the cows starve and I’m the only person who feeds since my coworker isn’t reliable

2d that just tells me how caring you are

Leaf_Leafington

that sucks and you should grieve in your own way dont be afraid to be sad about it

I haven’t had time to grieve

1:41 AM

I don’t have to hold my own family together but I have to hold his (my 2nd nonbiological family) together through his passing

1:42 AM

I consider my family friends family as my 2nd family since they’ve taken care of me more then just a friend

2D

I consider my family friends family as my 2nd family since they’ve taken care of me more then just a friend

yeah im not gonna lie that situation is bad but i just really want you to take care of youself

My coworker/his grandson has been coping with his death by smoking himself into debt and driving down to Panama

Leaf_Leafington

yeah im not gonna lie that situation is bad but i just really want you to take care of youself

I can’t take care of myself because no one else can take care of themselves

1:43 AM

I have to constantly sacrifice my own time to work on myself to push others up.

1:45 AM

I haven’t been able to work on myself in 3 years since my family has decided to put up a family heirloom for sale and now my parents,grandparents,and my aunts and uncles are about to go to war with eachother

2D

I have to constantly sacrifice my own time to work on myself to push others up.

2d im not gonna lie i dont have any advice for you or anything like that but what i can say is if you need somone to talk to and listen to you im here man

I’ve constantly put others first and I’ve left myself behind. I try and help my brother but he makes it nearly impossible since he’s a huge hypocrite by invading my personal space and pretty much spitting in my face whenever I do something nice for him.

1:47 AM

I try and help not just my family but my 2nd family,my boyfriend,and my friends

1:47 AM

I have so much personal trauma that isn’t allowed here but I’ll spare the bad and kinda stick to tame.

1:51 AM

When I was 6 my great grandma passed away when she was a big influence in my life, a few months later let’s just say something completely ruined me, when I was 14 i was catfished by someone who said they were 15 but was actually 19 and had me locked in a sexually abusive relationship threatening suicide if I dared to leave. A few months after that I finally had enough and tried something I would’ve regretted. When I was 15 my brother abused me nearly every single day just by beating me for the fun of it leaving me with black eyes,bloody noses,bite marks on my arms,and cuts where he digs his nails in my skin. And at 17 I lost my boss/2nd grandad

1:51 AM

His aorta split apart after his open heart surgery and he died with my 2nd grandmother on the ride home.

2D

His aorta split apart after his open heart surgery and he died with my 2nd grandmother on the ride home.

that really sucks i can only imagine going through that kind of pain

He went out quickly but his grandson called me that night telling me he was gone and I just screamed..

1:52 AM

You think I was loud in the call you should’ve heard me that night..

2d youve gone through all of this and still have the will to wake up in the morning i dont know if i could say the same for myself

Because I don’t have anyone to take my place

1:53 AM

If I just disappear everything I’m holding together will fall apart

1:54 AM

I don’t live for myself

2D

If I just disappear everything I’m holding together will fall apart

that sucks the literal glue holding everything

1:54 AM

that sounds like alot of pressure

I live for everything and everyone else (edited)

pressure that would flatten most people

It’s been slowly taking it’s toll but I still pull

1:57 AM

I won’t stop until everyone doesn’t need me anymore

2d thats not a good mindset but i can understand why you have it

I can’t live for myself anymore Leaf

1:58 AM

I’ve completely lost the will to live for myself (edited)

1:58 AM

Everyone else keeps me going as long as they need me

2:00 AM

Another mission that kind of keeps me going is that I try and make everyone feel loved I know I joke around and troll but it hurts feeling so unloved

2:00 AM

That’s why I have that in my bio

2:00 AM

K.Y.A.L

2:01 AM

Know you are loved

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Hm?

2:01 AM

He’s still here

2:01 AM

He’s in this server actually

2:01 AM

The gayest

2:01 AM

It’s him

2:02 AM

Mhm

2:02 AM

But I just try and make everyone feel loved

2D

But I just try and make everyone feel loved

Yes I joke around and play but I genuinely try and do this

Im done

3:02 AM

Everything

3:02 AM

Life

3:03 AM

Too much

3:03 AM

Of what i dont like

3:03 AM

Getting betrayed

3:03 AM

And more

3:03 AM

Just

3:03 AM

Im done

3:04 AM

Dw

3:05 AM

Just needed to get this off my chest

Suicidal

u get no play

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

I'll protect you

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

im big and strong

6:14 AM

i dont have rolls

6:15 AM

i have a pack of hawaiian rolls tho

abs?

yeah

Deleted User

i have a pack of hawaiian rolls tho

Gimme

ikr

6:16 AM

i have tiddies too

6:18 AM

not fat ones

6:20 AM

no u don’t

6:20 AM

fatty

6:22 AM

no

6:22 AM

dont call me that

6:24 AM

no

6:24 AM

im white

6:26 AM

die

6:27 AM

WHAT

Deleted User

not fat ones

Very fat ones

no

3:13 PM

not true

I gotta love rushing into relationships before I have time to heal from previous relationships I just realise I'm not completely over my previous relationship it's not healthy for me I love the people I get with but I just need to get over the previous one it's really hard especially if it was mentally painful ( my last one destroyed me ) I dont really want to hurt anyone by leaving anyone but I need to get over my previous relationship

7:37 AM

This is probably just late night blues idk

7:38 AM

It will probably pass

◇□Dustyknees□◇

I gotta love rushing into relationships before I have time to heal from previous relationships I just realise I'm not completely over my previous relationship it's not healthy for me I love the people I get with but I just need to get over the previous one it's really hard especially if it was mentally painful ( my last one destroyed me ) I dont really want to hurt anyone by leaving anyone but I need to get over my previous relationship

yo you wanna talk about this?

Sure

Plz someone kill me

Ok, how can i do it?

✟𝕭𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖗✟

Plz someone kill me

Not a chance. Wanna talk about it hun?

cate

Not a chance. Wanna talk about it hun?

I hate my life

✟𝕭𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖗✟

I hate my life

Why?

People

Wanna be more specific? We can go to DMs if u don’t feel comfortable doing it here.

Sure

Ok

Never putting potatoes into stir frying ever again, I burnt everything just for the damn potatoes to fry enough for them to be edible

lazysock98_1.1

Never putting potatoes into stir frying ever again, I burnt everything just for the damn potatoes to fry enough for them to be edible

If they’re not cooking fast enough, you can cook them separately in the oven first and then put them in the stir fry to finish

I know I'm just too lazy for that

Relatable

I think frying the potatoes first would solve the issue

Ur breath probably smells rancid

i kiss boys

Bread

i kiss boys

Its ok man I know you'll get through it

Bread

i kiss boys

ill help you

ManaConsumer

ill help you

NO we need to help him

ill “help” him kith

1:40 AM

NOOO

idk someone may need to help me figure out whether i like it or not

1:41 AM

‍♂️

LMAO

1:41 AM

Smooth

Bread

idk someone may need to help me figure out whether i like it or not

i volunteer as tribute

ManaConsumer

i volunteer as tribute

Good luck man

pucker up, pretty boy

LMAO

Bread

pucker up, pretty boy

ooo

I wish to become hot

1:12 PM

I hate my body

1:39 PM

I exist

Yall ever just get home and want to evaporate

Like

4:17 PM

I don't wanna die

4:18 PM

I just wanna dissappear

4:18 PM

Just not exist anymore

I just wanna like be a gas

That would be fun

Just for a little bit

Flying around

4:18 PM

No human stuff

4:18 PM

You are just gas

SneK

No human stuff

Yessssss

Jem

I wish to become hot

I feel that

Me too

4:19 PM

I feel like

4:19 PM

I can never be perfect

4:19 PM

I'll never love my body

4:19 PM

I feel like that

SneK

I can never be perfect

Well you can look at this in two ways. One noones perfect we all have our own insecuritys that we all stress over or two everyone's perfect we all have our own unique characteristics that make all of us perfect cause were human we cant change how we look without a fuck ton of money so why worry about it every day (edited)

Thanks

4:35 PM

4:36 PM

Actually right I'm not the only one struggling everyone's got their own problems

See

4:36 PM

And your so smart for understanding that

Again appreciate it

4:38 PM

:3

Anytime man dw:3

I'm happy to find this server

4:38 PM

Especially the vent part

4:39 PM

My family was so perfectionist

4:40 PM

They never got proud of me

4:40 PM

First they told me you are too skinny

4:40 PM

And then you are too chubby

4:40 PM

I struggled put up with it for so long

4:40 PM

Atleast I don't have to live with them anymore

4:41 PM

Everyday I try getting %1 better

Snek

Yes?

That shit must of suck it sounds like you got tormented alot for not being good enough

4:42 PM

But here you are standing strong after all that

4:42 PM

Thats fucking badass man

They always pressured me because they think they failed themselves so they tried to put their own expectations to me. You are damn right thanks for being a badass supporter

4:44 PM

I'm trying to be proud of myself too

And you should be

I'm getting some serious progress

4:44 PM

Put some drawbacks too

SneK

I'm getting some serious progress

And thats awesome dude I fucking love it when people do things to better there mental health

I started working out 2 years ago I'm still working not seeing thay much progress but It cures me mentally

4:46 PM

Calms my demons down (over exaggerating)

4:47 PM

I have adhd it really helps me with that too

SneK

I started working out 2 years ago I'm still working not seeing thay much progress but It cures me mentally

Thats a really good coping mechanism thats why I play basketball when I run and sweat it makes me feel good

4:47 PM

Like im doing something other than lying down

I tried team sports too but I'm just too intimidated by it

4:47 PM

Yeah

4:47 PM

But I figured

4:47 PM

Sometimes taking it easy is good too

4:47 PM

Like a one or 2 day earned break

Yeah man definitely

I'm still figuring things out

4:48 PM

It's so diffrent to live alone

4:48 PM

But so much to discover about yourslef

4:48 PM

And life

4:49 PM

It gave me a second chance

4:49 PM

To get my shit together

4:49 PM

I waited time to heal me but I figured if I took actions

4:50 PM

It actually happens when I start to take up responsibilities and do something towards them

Thats fucking awesome man

4:51 PM

Im glad your making a effort to heal and rejuvenate yourself

I'm trying to create and build snek V2

Thats a fun way to put it

Yeah

4:52 PM

I like to create stats

4:52 PM

When I do something

4:52 PM

I add points

Like a chart?

Yeah

4:52 PM

Mental chart

4:52 PM

Wisdom

4:52 PM

Liek when I read a book

4:52 PM

I add some points

4:52 PM

After some points

4:53 PM

I just say leveled up

4:53 PM

And do something fun

4:53 PM

As a gift to myself

Thats actually really cool

Yeah

I might do that

4:53 PM

Thats a really good idea

There are apps too

4:54 PM

It gets hard to memorize all

4:54 PM

Wait let me give you the name of the app I'm using

Please do

Habitica

4:54 PM

It's pretty cool

4:55 PM

Like a game

4:55 PM

With items

4:55 PM

And a community

4:55 PM

You beat bosses by doing tasks

4:55 PM

You create the tasks

4:55 PM

You do them

4:55 PM

Earn points

Thats really cool

4:55 PM

Just downloaded it

4:55 PM

Thank your for telling me about it

(Not sponsored)

Lol

But I definitely recommend it

4:56 PM

Makes it more fun

4:56 PM

Because most progress isnt visible

4:56 PM

But this app makes it more apparent

Got it:3

I create daily tasks

4:57 PM

Like brush teeth

4:57 PM

Take supplements

4:57 PM

Or sleeo early

4:57 PM

Wake up early

4:57 PM

It feels pretty good to tick them

I might use it for schoolwork

4:58 PM

To help get me to finish my work lol

I use it with everything

4:58 PM

School, daily life

4:59 PM

Apart from our sponsored section

4:59 PM

I forgor what to say

What’s this for

Ogge | Meatballs

What’s this for

Venting lmao

Uhg my mom is so annoying. She didn’t care if I’m watching tv or doing hw up until like 11pm, and shower and go to bed at 1120, but the second she knows I’m playing a video game, I apparently need to do all the laundry and take a shower and go to bed all before 9:30 because “she wants to sleep”. She gets angry about it too and it all really just makes me want to just cry

I need boys to kiss:(

I cant shit. And when i do its horrible, explosive, curved, spieled and painful. I dont know if i can take this life anymore.

rip

5:08 AM

rest in poop

5:08 AM

pic??

Sure..

️

(this is a joke guys)

Anything to entertain this cruel world for putting me in such a situation.

5:11 AM

I cant send pics.. i might as well kms.

it’s okay…

Ngl I wish it was easy to make friends, but I’ve always found it difficult because I feel like every time I enter a conversation I’m very unwanted in it and 90% of the people in that conversation dislike me

6:00 AM

Cause I know it should be easy, but I’ve had like 5 friends ever, and 4 of them left my school. I’ve never had those friends that you’d actually hang out with, hell I’ve never been one of those friends.

6:01 AM

Only really saying this cause I heard people planning to go to the beach in my class today so I realised kind of that I don’t have those kinds of friends

6:01 AM

weird but I’m like okay friends with those people so it was sad to hear them talking about who to invite

6:02 AM

Like, I’ve never had one of those friends who’s a bad influence telling you to skip school with them, or just one of any amount of cliche friends. I don’t think I’ve ever had or been one

SneK

Habitica

Omg thank you, like unironically I have not had more motivation in a while

i just want my parents to accept what i’m going to do with myself in the future. they hate the idea of me joining the military because i’m going into a combat arms job and they hate that. i just want to be accepted for what i’m going to do. (tanker btw)

6:23 AM

i just want to die with at least some purpose

dmdZ

Venting lmao

AMOGUS?!?!

Calvin

AMOGUS?!?!

Imposter

313 DET

i just want to die with at least some purpose

Real(I'm going to blow my brains out):33333 (edited)

Calvin

AMOGUS?!?!

Brain rot but that was also my first thought

dmdZ

Real(I'm going to blow my brains out):33333 (edited)

That's not very yippee of you...

dmdZ

Real(I'm going to blow my brains out):33333 (edited)

I’m gonna do the same but the way I mean it is I’m gonna need a lot of flexibility

Calvin

That's not very yippee of you...

My bad lemme change it rq

Calvin

That's not very yippee of you...

Now that’s yippee

Kappa

I’m gonna do the same but the way I mean it is I’m gonna need a lot of flexibility

I'm just gonna shoot myself:3

:33

6:32 AM

i’m going to take a bath with my favorite toy (my toaster) :3:3:3:3:3

Can't wait to buy a gun :3

this is my time rn

Kappa

I’m gonna do the same but the way I mean it is I’m gonna need a lot of flexibility

(Gluck Gluck 3000)

313 DET

i’m going to take a bath with my favorite toy (my toaster) :3:3:3:3:3

So real:333

actually speaking of not having friends, I don’t think I’ve ever had someone who I would play with in my Timezone, like everyone I know online is from Europe or USA or Africa or South America

Kappa

actually speaking of not having friends, I don’t think I’ve ever had someone who I would play with in my Timezone, like everyone I know online is from Europe or USA or Africa or South America

What timezone are you from?

AEST lmao

7:08 AM

Or actually adst or w/e

Kappa

AEST lmao

What time is it for you rn if I may ask

7:11 AM

Because I think we are in same Timezone if you wanna be friends

5:15 pm

7:16 AM

5:16 now

Today, some boy sneaked up behind me and use some water bottle to push on my back and act like he was mugging me, I got scared and then him and his friends made fun of me, Im still thinking about it after studying

I’m terribly sorry, have you told any of your teachers? It is bullying

7:47 AM

And especially if it’s affecting you this much

I was walking home from school but stopped by mcdonalds to get fries

7:47 AM

Sadly I dont even know those kids

7:47 AM

They were complete strangers

7:47 AM

Yet they did that

7:47 AM

Idk why

7:48 AM

I want a reason why they did it

Well

7:48 AM

Some people are just bad people

7:48 AM

They enjoy watching other suffer

7:48 AM

And you probably ran into some people like that

Yeah ig, but this has been happening several times, but with different groups

7:50 AM

Idk why

7:50 AM

Whenever Im alone

7:50 AM

Just walking and not bothering anybody

7:50 AM

Someone or some group

7:50 AM

Yells out to me

7:50 AM

Laughs at me

7:50 AM

Asks uncomfy questions

7:50 AM

All I can do is ignore

I’m sorry, you may be unlucky, or maybe people think you’re vulnerable

Yeah ig, idk what to do, it hurts when strangers just put you down, they dont even know me

Well

7:54 AM

Have you ever tried to “fight back” in a way?

7:54 AM

Show them that you won’t allow that to happen to you?

No, I dont curse them out or be physical in any way, because I know whatever I do, Ill face consequences I dont deserve and have people just tell me the other ways I couldve handled it

Well you don’t have to curse at them or be physical

7:56 AM

But you can call them out

7:57 AM

Tell them to stop, and tell them you don’t want that anymore

7:57 AM

And that you’ll report them

Yeah Ill try that next time thanks

7:59 AM

Hopefully there isnt a next time tho lol

yeah lol

8:06 AM

done

8:06 AM

not*

8:06 AM

dont*

8:08 AM

sont worry it'll be okay

8:08 AM

you'll find happiness someday my friend

Kappa

5:15 pm

Sam time

8:21 AM

*same

ayy nice

Now would be the time I wish I could just send the screenshots... (edited)

What

○°•Bubbles•°○

Now would be the time I wish I could just send the screenshots... (edited)

Why

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

What the hell

gameguy093

Why

So I don't have to retype 4 ss worth of shit

9:26 AM

Honestly

9:26 AM

Fuck yall dude

Oki

9:27 AM

I wonder what I did but

9:27 AM

Oki

Sorry

What a knob

Man

12:43 PM

I hate people sometimes

12:44 PM

-_-

Kappa

Omg thank you, like unironically I have not had more motivation in a while

It makes me feel good that you found a source of motivation It's the hardest thing to find these days

I lost my best friend also crush because I realized I reflected my problems to him too much and I became abusive and manipulative... Humans are the worst at analyzing their own actions How THE HECK I DID NOT REALIZE THAT.

1:06 PM

He was so cute and we literally shared the same I interests like Soulmate level stuff

1:07 PM

I met him when I was 12 We were pretty good but this last year I was dealing with so many shit homophobia and trying to adapt to living alone

1:08 PM

We were supposed to celebrate our 5th year of our friendship

1:08 PM

But we couldn't

1:09 PM

And after I confessed my feelings for him he supported me but said I don't feel the same way

1:09 PM

I was still happy he was supportive

1:09 PM

But shit happens

1:09 PM

All my fault

1:10 PM

I tried to ask for forgiveness so many times took responsibility for all my actions

1:10 PM

I guess I suck ass

1:10 PM

...

I can understand what you're going through (edited)

1:11 PM

Kind of

1:11 PM

I've lost people in similar ways

1:11 PM

If you ever want to talk to someone more about it, I'm here

Im never ever finding anybody like him

1:11 PM

I picked up therapy and Im trying to heal my actions to be a better person

1:11 PM

Also my internet sucks ass like me

1:12 PM

I would be happy. Because I have nobody else to talk

Well then let's talk a bit (edited)

Okay first I wanna hear from you more about your problems

1:13 PM

Because I wanna focus on both of us

Okay

1:13 PM

Well I'm a fairly shit person sometimes

1:13 PM

My anger issues like to take control

Same.

1:13 PM

Yes

1:14 PM

Im a wholesome person mostly I put myself out for others

1:14 PM

But sometimes I snap

1:14 PM

Go on sorry

Bro same

1:14 PM

No worries

1:14 PM

Also I feel like people just like to abuse me

Ywah people like to use me too much

One of my old bfs faked suicide to get away from everyone

1:15 PM

Another bf became toxic and abusive very quickly, only to be just fine with other relationships after me

1:15 PM

That one had the balls to say to my face that I helped him understand love

Thats very nicr

1:15 PM

Nice

1:15 PM

I try to heal people

1:15 PM

But i unintentionally fuck them up

1:15 PM

More

Well I try to help

Because they got attached too mcuh

Jem

Well I try to help

Everyone seems to take advantage of me for it

They see like a therapist and a parent

Yeah

Or a parent

I try to help and people take advantage of it. I can't just not help, it's not in my nature

Same...

1:17 PM

It means your nature is kind

1:17 PM

We need more peiple like you

1:17 PM

In this cruel world

Yeah

1:17 PM

This world is sad

Yep

1:17 PM

Big sad

Problem with me, and possibly you, is we see the bad in the world and don't focus on the good as much

Yep

1:18 PM

And try too hard

1:18 PM

Abd get tured mentally

Hep

1:19 PM

Yep*

Can we continue talking later

1:19 PM

I need some stuff to do

1:19 PM

School

1:19 PM

Can j add you ass a firend

Ofc

Thank you nice person

1:19 PM

I'll text you in a few hours

You're welcome

See ya :3

Bai :3

being ghosted by my own bf so um thats why ive not rlly been online here i missed yall but things have been going wrong when they were all fine and ive been told that he might get tired of me. (edited)

oh and bc of his behavior i started self harm too.

I just want to cry while being held

Deleted User

being ghosted by my own bf so um thats why ive not rlly been online here i missed yall but things have been going wrong when they were all fine and ive been told that he might get tired of me. (edited)

hes fr ghosting me cuz his snap streaks are going up AND HE STOPPED SNAPPING ME AND HIS IG ACTIVITY STATUS IS OFF

7:37 PM

What the fuck did i do wrong?? OH HE SAID NOTHING THEN!?!??

7:37 PM

why cant my first relationsship be a happy one :(((

7:41 PM

promised he wont leave me and yest he said he might leave me bc of our lonf distance

7:41 PM

ITS NOT EVEN THAT LONG!?!?!?

7:41 PM

WE ARE SEPARATED BY ONE COUNTRY

7:42 PM

and hes even lying to meeee

...

7:46 PM

Bro get the fuck out of here

7:49 PM

Bro just calm the fuck down

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Bro thought he could become the next rizz king by doing the uncanny ankha zone dance like a sussy baka in ohio

dont bro know quandale dingle already did the forgis on the jeep thug shaker banban style with baller

bro aint ever making it out of oklahoma the ocky way

that shit just plain uncanny like skibidi toilet bro

bro got negative infinity morbin chill bill pizza tower barbenheimer rizz bro

bro got that nathaniel b ahh griddy bro

I just wanted to vent and of course people go after me for it

Jem

I just wanted to vent and of course people go after me for it

I'm not attacking you:(

7:52 PM

Sorry

No not you

7:53 PM

I know it's not you

7:53 PM

I was talking about duck I apologize @dmdZ

Jem

I was talking about duck I apologize @dmdZ

Oh ok,mb lmao

No worries

WHAT HAPPENED???

dmdZ

Bro thought he could become the next rizz king by doing the uncanny ankha zone dance like a sussy baka in ohio

dont bro know quandale dingle already did the forgis on the jeep thug shaker banban style with baller

bro aint ever making it out of oklahoma the ocky way

that shit just plain uncanny like skibidi toilet bro

bro got negative infinity morbin chill bill pizza tower barbenheimer rizz bro

bro got that nathaniel b ahh griddy bro

what did duck even say

Deleted User

what did duck even say

Ion know

8:14 PM

That's just a copypasta I have

o h

Deleted User

and hes even lying to meeee

If he wants so, just shrug it off, you'll find a better one

8:49 PM

Promises are meant to be fulfilled, not broken.

lazysock98_1.1

If he wants so, just shrug it off, you'll find a better one

but i love him i cant do that, im attached and hes the only one who ever wanted a relationship w me

I don't know what I could suggest honestly

8:52 PM

I have zero experiences with relationships

8:53 PM

Although, I'd just leave and go forward

8:54 PM

I have plenty of questions.

8:55 PM

I'm sorry, I can't suggest anything

lazysock98_1.1

Although, I'd just leave and go forward

i cant bc i love him and im so attached. hes leaving first anyway..

lazysock98_1.1

I'm sorry, I can't suggest anything

no its alright! thank u for listening and trying tho

Deleted User

i cant bc i love him and im so attached. hes leaving first anyway..

You need to be strong and just accept he's leaving, I don't know how but that's how it is, unfortunately

lazysock98_1.1

You need to be strong and just accept he's leaving, I don't know how but that's how it is, unfortunately

and hes the one who told me not to leavd

7:00 AM

smh

what a traitor

7:02 AM

Eh, unfortunately first relationships usually end like this

dmdZ

Click to see attachment 🖼️

You keep waking up because life wants YOU to be the best version of yourself, it wants YOU to stay alive and get shit done!

(/nsrs) cinnamon donut twisties were so disappointing it actually makes me sad. If a crispy cinnamon donut thing can’t taste good why should anything taste good

11:32 AM

no but srsly they were disappointing. I wanted churro basically, crispy cinnamon

There are plenty of things that taste good

lazysock98_1.1

Eh, unfortunately first relationships usually end like this

he reposted a vid w my initial then after a few days he legit reposted a vid with a couple hugging each other and said "me and who" and hes just ghosting my talk like im trying to tell him what hurts me and hes just ignoring it.

1:16 PM

and all i wanted was someonr to love me the same way i love themm

Leave him, he will just hurt you more

well hes not even replying so not even worth it..

1:36 PM

but i always fall for people who hurt me.

That's life, you just need to stay strong bud

god im just so hurt rn

ManaConsumer

god im just so hurt rn

What happened?!

alot

3:40 PM

but basically this guy

3:40 PM

“NotChud”

3:40 PM

tried to entrap me

3:41 PM

and played with my emotions

block the fucker

too late

3:43 PM

he ghosted me

Try to shrug it off then

even after i sent thigh pics…

...

its fine

3:44 PM

god i have all these thigh pics

3:44 PM

if only someone could rate them

well I'm out

alr bye

lazysock98_1.1

You keep waking up because life wants YOU to be the best version of yourself, it wants YOU to stay alive and get shit done!

I doubt it

dmdZ

I doubt it

Then stop doubting and do 30 pushups

lazysock98_1.1

Then stop doubting and do 30 pushups

Cant

4:01 PM

Chest is too sore from yesterday

sore chest feels good

I never felt my chest sore, might do pushups wrong smh (edited)

i hate pushups

6:25 PM

u can do it

Pushups are great, but you need to stretch unless you want your shoulders to be all cement and metal wires

7:51 PM

The repetitive and simple motion hurts the flexibility

You should try flys, they fuckin wreck you

Your pfp kind of looks like an angel from _Boisvert channel

lazysock98_1.1

Pushups are great, but you need to stretch unless you want your shoulders to be all cement and metal wires

scp 173???

Yes,

9:51 AM

indeed SCP 173

we broke up. i guess? he just keeps ghosting me and unfollowed me so.

11:31 AM

god damn it

Deleted User

we broke up. i guess? he just keeps ghosting me and unfollowed me so.

I am so sorry to hear that that must suck ass :(

12:18 PM

If you need someone to talk to my dms are always open

thank you

12:27 PM

but i think its for the better

12:27 PM

i still think i deserved a proper goodbye. he just vanished..

Deleted User

i still think i deserved a proper goodbye. he just vanished..

Unfortunately some people are fucking pieces of shit and will just leave you… it will hurt for a while and I am sorry you had to go through that but like you said it is for the best now you can try and move on and no longer have to worry

1

Angy rn

dmdZ

Angy rn

Why

gameguy093

Why

I gotta go home tomorrow

Go home from where if I may ask

I'm on a camping trip with my family

Awwww well I am sure there will be more camping trips

I don't really care for camping

12:51 PM

It's the fishing that I love

12:51 PM

And there's a perfect lake here

And I am sure you will “catch” another good lake (hehe funni fish pun)

gameguy093

And I am sure you will “catch” another good lake (hehe funni fish pun)

>:3

12:52 PM

I like that pun

gameguy093

And I am sure you will “catch” another good lake (hehe funni fish pun)

Yeah definitely

dmdZ

I like that pun

Thought I could “hook” ya with it ùwú

gameguy093

Thought I could “hook” ya with it ùwú

Maybe go on and "swim" into my dms cutie :3

You gotta “reel” me in first

gameguy093

You gotta “reel” me in first

For eal? I'll have to get creative:3

Seals like it :3

Could you maybe hold my rod :3

That was smooth

Thanks>w<

today my friend foundbout i broke up w my bf and i almost cried during school since she kept mentioning him :///

2:44 PM

uh but i also realized he was a bad influence

2:46 PM

like he was so nice but even if he says his bi and has pan mom, he reposts tiktoks against lgbtq and those who support the killing of them and he DID support me being trans but... it made me uncomfy how like- how homophobic and racist he could be.. hes even pro russian and it hurts

happens

5:55 PM

I want to slowly decay and be forgotten about

dmdZ

I want to slowly decay and be forgotten about

don’t wallow in self pity

8:00 PM

it helps no one

Idk what to do anymore BoyCrying

dmdZ

Could you maybe hold my rod :3

Rizz

cate

Rizz

Yes

dmdZ

Idk what to do anymore BoyCrying

Join DUTY

lazysock98_1.1

Join DUTY

Don't have the right build to serve

10:04 PM

Femboy much

just got played by someone who left this server woah

10:34 PM

reminder: you cant find the same person in another :((

10:36 PM

shit hurts so bad i want my ex now. please omfg.

Deleted User

just got played by someone who left this server woah

That's not nice:(

FORGET WHAT I SAID IM A DUMBASS

my ass is too phat

1:19 PM

what will id o

hieu!!!

my ass is too phat

Proof?

True

i got timed out for 13 days in slashests sServer for accidentaly saying something racist, im sorry i just couldnt help myself anymore because somebody named fera was being antifur and racist, im sorry for my actions, i know i shouldn't be apologizing to you but i just wanted to let you know that, im sorry.

L

dude wtf

warchy

L

4:53 AM

its a vent channel bro

13 day timeout, just for an accidental comment, i literally apologized but they didnt give a shit at all. (edited)

but did you say a racial slur orr??

on accident, i couldnt help myself

ah i see

5:16 AM

well it wasnt really your fault

thanks

*~L.o.u.i.s.y.D~*

on accident, i couldnt help myself

what slur

8owerly

its a vent channel bro

facts

warchy

what slur

if i were to tell you, i would get timed out rn.

N-word?

warchy

N-word?

yeah

hard R?

warchy

hard R?

no

lmao

5:47 PM

that shit ain’t bad then

5:47 PM

who cares

"I couldnt help myself I said the n word"

1:28 AM

I dont care about the racism or anything that shit just sounds so funny

1:31 AM

I miss my doggo :/

gameguy093

I miss my doggo :/

What happened:(

My mum called the police on me so I had to move away from them and my sister

1:32 AM

And now I am forced to live on my own

That sucks

1:33 AM

Whyd she do such a thing if you dont mind me asking

The police were only called because we got in an argument and she said I scared her because I am a 6’3 man :/

1:34 AM

And she talked to them about a restraining order

1:34 AM

And now for the past 4 months I have had to support myself

That really sucks

1:34 AM

Im sorry

It’s fine I normally just keep my feelings hidden about it but I just miss my sister and the doggo I have :(

Doesnt your sister come to visit?

My mum manipulated her saying I hit her and will hit and hurt her

1:36 AM

So she does not want to see me and I do t want to force her to see me if she does not want to

1:37 AM

If you knew me irl or online you would know I am not the one to hurt ppl

Damn

1:39 AM

Thats really sad

1:40 AM

I cant imagine being separated from my cats

1:40 AM

Let alone my mom

Idc about her anymore but the other ppl I love and now I am forced to be alone :/

Yeah that makes sense

man you got this trust

Personally don’t think so if I am gonna be honest I think I will survive until late December but hopefully not

just move on with a buddy

That seems like the best possible thing to do

1:47 AM

But it also seems really tough

1:48 AM

If I were in that situation I dont think I would have the strength to move on (edited)

shvrkey

just move on with a buddy

Don’t have any really

do you have a job

I can’t get one

why not

You need a parents signature

1:56 AM

To accept t’s and c’s

how old are you

16

and your out on the street rn

I ask ppl online if I can stay with them

1:57 AM

Like on Facebook

so where are you staying at rn

Hopefully a friends house

1:58 AM

But I still am struggling a lot

definitely a difficult situation to get out of

How Ive been feeling lately

gives a cuddle feel better soon!

Lord Sebber

gives a cuddle feel better soon!

Thank, hopefully

@dmdZ

4:21 AM

DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE (edited)

4:22 AM

I'M NOT SLEEPING TILL I KNOW YOU'RE SAFE

Lord Sebber

I'M NOT SLEEPING TILL I KNOW YOU'RE SAFE

I am

4:23 AM

I'm gonna have dinner rn

I don't believe you

4:23 AM

Picture

4:23 AM

Dms

TwT

I wanted to go out shopping for black friday but my mom told me shes going to be working all fall break, I understand but Im hurt because Ive been constantly studying and dealing with people's bs that all I wanted to do on fall break was go out with my mom, and treat myself to clothes

You got anyone else that will bring you?

Nope

8:13 AM

Im not even having a thanksgiving, so my fall break, Im gonna be alone which I dont mind but it sucks being stuck at home while everyone celebrates

that does suck

4:42 PM

but fuck it, if you’re at least like 16-17 you can just go buy some shit and have your own thanksgiving

facts

i love it when my lover says she'll be back in 20 minutes and never comes back, only to appear 30 minutes later texting random people, without even letting me know, and then appearing 2 more times still not letting me know. even though she knows im super clingy and have been worried about her and missing her all day

4:11 AM

i feel like she's avoiding me or just lost interest in me

4:12 AM

i wish she'd just say it if she is

4:12 AM

i really like her but this is giving me repeated anxiety attacks and her doing this has only seemed to get worse over time

4:13 AM

not to mention this making it harder and harder for my trust issues and paranoia to go away, i've been trying to just trust her more but when she does stuff like this it's borderline impossible

4:15 AM

and i've told her doing stuff like this does these things before too, and it's still only gotten worse

I was just led on by someone I truly cared about, I’m crying and I don’t know what to do

Engineer

Proof?

u still want proof?

I’m good lol

ur loss

‍♀️

well

8:15 AM

i just got banned in a server

8:15 AM

he was quick

8:15 AM

i got my last word tho and it was

8:15 AM

“put some respect on my name”

8:15 AM

cuz mamma dont play

as long as u got ur last lick

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

true-

8:17 AM

gameguy093

The police were only called because we got in an argument and she said I scared her because I am a 6’3 man :/

I can’t with this world it sucks I wanna leave but I can’t because I love him and don’t want to hurt him and don’t want to leave him but I hurt so much I don’t know how much more I can’t take

I can’t get past champion on fort ranked this is serious someone help

I hate hunters so much they are constantly coming on our property despite signs warnings and fences and they scare away all the animals. They've shot at our dogs too so we have to put bright vests on all of them whenever they go outside. Hunting season sucks

Griff

I hate hunters so much they are constantly coming on our property despite signs warnings and fences and they scare away all the animals. They've shot at our dogs too so we have to put bright vests on all of them whenever they go outside. Hunting season sucks

that’s called trespassing

9:09 PM

they clearly don’t get the message

9:09 PM

shoot them

I went fishing, didn't catch anything, and I told everyone I caught lots of fish

dmdZ

I went fishing, didn't catch anything, and I told everyone I caught lots of fish

a small white lie

Rip

i really need to move on from my ex, because he really doesnt even care about me, yet he reposts stuff that are like stuff he likes, and ive done those, but he never appreciated them from me.

9:28 PM

says he sees me as a boy and hes bi but is homophobic. how?

9:28 PM

it hurts me that ive been led on.. and he promised he wont leave me but he did.

9:28 PM

i need to stop stalking his socials and move on.

9:28 PM

but its so damn hard when all you wanted was to heal someone who you thought was about to heal you too..

9:29 PM

i just wanted someone :((

9:29 PM

great im about to cry and i thought i would be fine..

AAAAAAAAAAÀAAAAAHHGGGGGGHHGGHHHHH I ACTUALLY WANT TO KILL MYSELF RIGHT NOW WITH THIS FUCKING TERM PAPER

i got used for my thighs

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i got used for my thighs

uncool

How can I overcome my fear of women

talk to them

Thank you!

thinking about HIM /VVVVVNEG

lastmav 🦸🏿

I can’t get past champion on fort ranked this is serious someone help

@mytoastwestern

1:38 PM

No one helped

damn...

lastmav 🦸🏿

I can’t get past champion on fort ranked this is serious someone help

simply get better

im debating ODing for the first time (edited)

1:32 AM

I feel empty

1:32 AM

Like I have no purpose

1:32 AM

Undeserving of affection but still craving it

1:33 AM

I don't want to be conscious

1:33 AM

When I'm not conscious I don't feel like this

Start looksmaxing

lastmav 🦸🏿

Start looksmaxing

do you mew

Gwen! / Mag main 2,465

I don't want to be conscious

take a nap

mytoastwestern

do you mew

Who doesn’t

Gwen! / Mag main 2,465

Like I have no purpose

It's alright dw about it too much

1:50 AM

For now your purpose shouldn't be worrying about stuff

1:55 AM

Focus on school for now

school makes me wanna commit death

How ?

i feel like a fat, lazy, disappointing slob of a person

12:13 AM

i feel like i’m not good enough for the people in my life

12:14 AM

i feel like all i do is ruin everything

12:19 AM

i’m a useless piece of shit

im litewally goated

@Julian if you ever need to talk. Just DM me. Trust me when I say that people care about you

Julian

i feel like a fat, lazy, disappointing slob of a person

then change yourself

Julian

i feel like a fat, lazy, disappointing slob of a person

same but im disabled and the complete opposite of fat

4:03 AM

being mentally ill neurodivergent and disabled +pretty much knowing everything so ur literally not getting anything useful out of school

4:04 AM

chronic fatigue? too bad!! you still have to play stupid ass sports in gym

4:06 AM

adhd and autism? too bad!!! we are not going to enrich your brain in any way whatsoever so you feel completely brain dead during the whole entire school day!!! or, even better, SENSORY OVERLOAD!!!!!!!!!

4:07 AM

executive dysfunction??? too bad!! we're gonna give you homework and tell you its due next week and you're never going to do it so we give you a bad grade!!!!

4:07 AM

everything in life is an obstacle

4:07 AM

4:09 AM

society is fucking stupid and i am suffering as a human

honestly school isnt a bad concept but its more so how its executed, i personally love learning but schools make it such a chore with standardized tests its impossible for me to actually want to learn and instead i take in information and use it then i dump it out when its not needed

4:11 AM

maybe instead of learning calculus we could learn actually useful things (brain explosion)

4:12 AM

this is coming from a pretty average student grade wise (im smart ig? my adhd definitely is an excuse here if you take like one peak at my grades vs the teachers)

4:19 AM

ok bloke

4:19 AM

i literally cant function i js sleep all the time and i cant eat without feeling sick

angelbasilica

i literally cant function i js sleep all the time and i cant eat without feeling sick

SO ME WTF

1

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Dont call me that

anno

honestly school isnt a bad concept but its more so how its executed, i personally love learning but schools make it such a chore with standardized tests its impossible for me to actually want to learn and instead i take in information and use it then i dump it out when its not needed

literally

im gonna die i hate my father more than words could ever fucking explain

what happened pookie

dude im just

5:47 PM

i cant fucking do shit right

It's a venting channel. So there has been thousands of things going on like my parents getting mad at me for no reason, my friend now spreading rumors about me on two servers and let's just say they're pretty bad ones. I won't go into detail bc of the rules but let's just say they're pretty huge accusations.

7:04 PM

Not having the best week.

Faux 🌈

It's a venting channel. So there has been thousands of things going on like my parents getting mad at me for no reason, my friend now spreading rumors about me on two servers and let's just say they're pretty bad ones. I won't go into detail bc of the rules but let's just say they're pretty huge accusations.

Fuck them that’s so shitty

That's a basic summary

I’d be beating ass atp

i need somewhere to put my thoughts cus fuck. my dysphoria is killing me dude. like its so fucking ureal. im so tired of not passing or looking like guys in my class i just wanna feel normal. i feel so fucking alone and im doing anything i can to make myself look decent and its not working. every day i get reminded that ill never be anything other than what “i was born as”

The thing is- that everyone looks different and ofc it’s valid to want to look masc. but different things works for different people so maybe like you can try something like makeup. That helps me enhance my more masculine features I have- but that is just a suggestion

I hate my stupid ass friend, he's only nice to me when he wants to and then this bitch calls me a f slur (can't say it because the rules) 2 seconds later, and then he makes a stereotype of Mexican people like DIE. (edited)

12:29 PM

and this bitch takes my lunch

mike

I hate my stupid ass friend, he's only nice to me when he wants to and then this bitch calls me a f slur (can't say it because the rules) 2 seconds later, and then he makes a stereotype of Mexican people like DIE. (edited)

Kill him

mike

and this bitch takes my lunch

Sell his organs

dammnnn

Why do you call him your friend then

(Context: I am the manager of the culinary crew at my school, which contains around 150 people, many of which are first years) Im so sick of stupid bitches bro. Every day i go into the fucking kitchen and have to explain over 1000 times why tf running around with knives and throwing shit is not okay when its easy to injure yourself in so many ways. On top of that, the first years are so lazy, and do jack shit. Ill tell them to do smth and they give me attitude, and then wonder why tf i kick them out of the class. I got ppl who come into the kitchen to smoke and skip classes, which my issue isnt with the smoking and the skipping, as I do that occasionally as well, but these simple bitches go back there and cause issues ALL THE TIME, and when i tell them to go into the classroom and gtfo my way, they catch attitude and act like they wanna fight

like bitch im insane ill fyu and keep hittin u and THESE MFERS ARE SO SLOWWWWWW like mentally SLOWWWWWW its annoying

I just want someone to appreciate me

6:03 AM

I feel like people don't like me but I can never really tell

6:05 AM

My last relationship gave me so many problems I never had before and I'm scared to do anything

I'm so tired of everything

I need someone fr

I have an algebra test tomorrow and tbh I didnt understand shit

11:43 AM

Im so fucked

11:44 AM

If anyone here is good with factorization of polynomials I'm begging you to help me

not a rlly sad vent but i hate my spotify wrapped this is so embarrassing

4:35 PM

why is my “top artists” ppl i listened to in February like bruh

scott cawthon

why is my “top artists” ppl i listened to in February like bruh

because the wrapped is for the whole year….

i know im sayong i havent listen to them since february

JanotLeLapin

If anyone here is good with factorization of polynomials I'm begging you to help me

Nah that shit sucks goodluck tho!!

2

JanotLeLapin

If anyone here is good with factorization of polynomials I'm begging you to help me

post in homework help

10:35 PM

that may wokr

JanotLeLapin

If anyone here is good with factorization of polynomials I'm begging you to help me

factoring polynomials?

Yeahhh

send me the hw

cate

Nah that shit sucks goodluck tho!!

isnt that in 9th

JanotLeLapin

If anyone here is good with factorization of polynomials I'm begging you to help me

I might be able to

That would be very much appreciated thank you in advance

My mother dearest (gosh I love her (lmao no I don’t)) called me an abusive narcissistic cow

That really sucks

2:11 PM

I know people who have shitty relationships with their mother

2:11 PM

That makes me feel so sad

2:13 PM

And makes me question if I deserve the awesome relationship I have with mine

cate

My mother dearest (gosh I love her (lmao no I don’t)) called me an abusive narcissistic cow

What?

2:42 PM

Why would she say that?

Idk

8:38 PM

She said it while my friend was in the car too

cate

She said it while my friend was in the car too

What the fuck..

Yea that's messed up

👻❤ Echo The Ghoat ❤👻

Yea that's messed up

Wtf is your PFP?

Lol

10:31 PM

Nothing

I'm scared lol

Lol

🖤💜ThreeAttic💜🖤

I'm scared lol

But I love your pfp so cute

👻❤ Echo The Ghoat ❤👻

But I love your pfp so cute

Thanks I drew it myself

Oh nice

10:44 PM

It looks so cute

Yeah ty

I think it's porn

im with you pal

what

JanotLeLapin

And makes me question if I deserve the awesome relationship I have with mine

You deserve to be happy, you’re probably not a little shit to your mother like I am.

Don't blame yourself for anything though

1:03 AM

Even if you were to be the worst piece of shit this world had ever seen your mom can't speak this way to you

1:03 AM

And even less when you're with a friend

She called me bipolar in front of my friend as well

1:05 AM

I don’t care what she does in private but when she’s a bitch around someone that I’m trying to make good impressions with I care

cate

I don’t care what she does in private but when she’s a bitch around someone that I’m trying to make good impressions with I care

Your mom is an actual bitch for doing that

1:06 AM

And she calls you bipolar

1:06 AM

That’s so fucked

That's an awful thing to do yeah

I have to be grateful for what I have.

1:07 AM

Tbh I have had a better life than most people.

1:07 AM

My parents are rich af and I get given anything.

cate

Tbh I have had a better life than most people.

And you will continue this life yes?.

Yeah I guess that's true but still everyone deserves to have a sane relationship with their parent(s)

2D

And you will continue this life yes?.

For now.

Do not commit suicide

JanotLeLapin

Yeah I guess that's true but still everyone deserves to have a sane relationship with their parent(s)

Yes I do have a dad.

1:08 AM

<33

I don't haha

I’m sorry

cate

For now.

I need you to promise me that you will continue to live

You can have money

1:08 AM

Mine***

Yeahhh money

Lmao I’ll donate him to u

1:08 AM

Nah I have none

1:08 AM

My mummy took it all

cate

I’m sorry

Dw I don't need a dad and I'm really happy

Yay

Ah

1:08 AM

That sucks though

I can donate him to someone else

1:09 AM

BRO SHE TOOK MY MONEY

1:09 AM

AND THEB

1:09 AM

THEN

Hmm?

SAID

1:09 AM

I HAVE TO PAY HER BACK FOR MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT

Hey Cate do you believe in God ?

Not really

1:10 AM

I prayed last night tho

So not only is your mother a thief but she’s an actual bipolar manipulator..

And hey I survived the night

I just want you to know that

But then I got dragged to rowing at 4am

Life is the most precious gift you've ever been given

1:10 AM

You don't owe it to anyone

1:10 AM

And you have still a whole lot of things to do

1:10 AM

And experience

Lmao

Yeahhh

How wise of u good sir

She sucks for stealing your money though

1:11 AM

I'd be furious

1:12 AM

Grr

1:12 AM

Hey what does that mean "--. --- --- -.. -... -.-- . / .. -. / -.-. .- ... . .-.-.- / -.-. --..-- / --. --..-- / .- --..-- / -.- --..-- / ... .--- --..-- / .--- --..-- / ..-. / .. / .-.. --- ...- . / ..-"

1:12 AM

Do I have to decode it or something

Nah don’t

Hold on lemme try

<33

It’s a goodbye.

Sh

Okay love

3 of the people in there don’t care.

Mm..

A, G, C.

1:13 AM

Lmao

Is that a math homework or something

Nope

1:14 AM

The first letter of peoples names

Sounds enigmatic

F,J.

This conversation is starting to look like a freeze corleone rap

1:15 AM

No one will get that reference

1:15 AM

Huh

Those are 2 out of the 6 letters I believe

1:15 AM

Or it was just 5.

2D

F,J.

❤️

cate

❤️

️

The longer one is my banner.

1:16 AM

It will take ions to decode and that’s the point.

It’s harder to decode it.

Mhm

I can’t see the edges of it.

Pretty much impossible

1:16 AM

<33

Can you tell me in DMs love?

Maybe

Alright

I’ll just send it here..

Thank you

Text wall but idgaf

cate

Text wall but idgaf

Did anything else happen today you wanna get off your chest?

2D

Did anything else happen today you wanna get off your chest?

Just rowing today

1:22 AM

Pretty shit

Is there anything I can do to help?

Nu

Alright

1:23 AM

If there’s anything I can do please let me know

Deciphered it !

1:27 AM

It's 1 in the morning

1:27 AM

And I'm writing goofy JavaScript algorithms

1:28 AM

To decipher them notes you leave when you kill yourself

1:28 AM

Damn

1:28 AM

I need to go to sleep

Lmao

1:28 AM

Sleep

Nah I don't feel like it

1:30 AM

Hey for real though Cate

1:30 AM

I'm being really serious

1:30 AM

Don't do anything bad

1:31 AM

That would be a shame

1:31 AM

I don't know how old you are but I'm guessing you're between 15 and 18 and I know these times suck

1:31 AM

But

1:31 AM

Hang in there

1:31 AM

It gets better I promise

It’s not gonna get better

1:34 AM

I’m an elite athlete who trains everyday and I eat less then 500 calories a day, pretty sure I have iron deficiency and almost pass out every time I stand up.

1:35 AM

And if anyone finds that out I’m done (edited)

Woah

1:35 AM

That sounds crazy

It’s terrible

1:35 AM

I hate it.

Is your mom forcing you to do that or something?

No but if I stop then I have nothing.

1:36 AM

It’s the only thing I’m good at

1:36 AM

And it’s my only chance at getting a scholarship for an American uni

cate

And it’s my only chance at getting a scholarship for an American uni

I wish you the best of luck

If no one's forcing you I'm just saying

1:37 AM

It's never too late to change your mind on what you're doing

Nah

1:37 AM

I can’t stop now

1:38 AM

Im going to state titles again in a few weeks

1:38 AM

I get two weeks break for Christmas tho

1:38 AM

But I still have to train everyday

I know you’ll win love

What do you mean you can't stop

1:39 AM

Like you can't stop ?

1:39 AM

Or you can't can't stop

1:39 AM

I don't know if I'm being clear I'm sleepy

2D

I know you’ll win love

Nah

1:40 AM

Not a chance

1:40 AM

I can’t stop because it’s the only thing I’m good at

1:40 AM

The only reason my parents are proud of me

1:40 AM

And they brag about it to all their friends

Hey remember

1:40 AM

You don't owe your life to anyone

1:40 AM

You don't live to make your parents proud

1:41 AM

And we're not in some sort of communist world where you only do what you're good at

1:41 AM

That's one way to say it haha

Exactlyyyy

Well if I were you I'd think

1:42 AM

Let's just keep going for a while

1:42 AM

And then when I can live on my own (edited)

1:42 AM

I quit

1:42 AM

Right ?

Meh

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

What?..

Shit

I know it's a lot harder than it seems but I think it's the best option you've got right?

True

I'm sure you'll do great

I really hope I don’t go to nationals

1:43 AM

I really need a break

1:43 AM

I train non stop all year

1:43 AM

Every holiday I keep training

1:44 AM

And I keep putting on weight

1:44 AM

And I know it’s muscle but like

1:44 AM

STAWP

Yeah that definitely sounds really overwhelming

Lmao

1:45 AM

It’s absolutely fantastic

I really can't relate to that at all honestly so I know my expectations might be a bit disconnected from reality

Nah

1:46 AM

Honestly I’m not even that good

1:46 AM

Lemme check my rankings

cate

Lemme check my rankings

Top 10 in the world I’d say

I was 26th in the state for year 9 girls.

1:47 AM

3rd from my region.

1:47 AM

So pretty ass.

Well that's not what matters to you so I don't think that's relevent

1:48 AM

Unless your parent also beat you up when you're not good enough

1:48 AM

Which might be the case

1:48 AM

I didn't consider that

JanotLeLapin

Unless your parent also beat you up when you're not good enough

Which is time for a murder charge

To me it's unfathomable

1:49 AM

Imagine having children

1:49 AM

And expecting them to love what you love

1:49 AM

And do what you would love them to do

1:49 AM

That's so much pressure

1:49 AM

“I wonder why my child doesn’t talk to me after I made them do everything they don’t like”

Yeah precisely

Like what the fuck do you expect

To overcome all that pressure one needs to be really brave

1:51 AM

I can't imagine myself in this situation

My mum always says

1:51 AM

If I tell anyone they aren’t gonna believe me

1:51 AM

Do there’s no point

cate

If I tell anyone they aren’t gonna believe me

I believe you

Mhm

Your mom is an actual cunt

Yeah that doesn't seem too far fetched

I’m gonna lay it out rn

Yep

What does your dad do?.

Uh

1:52 AM

Well

1:52 AM

He’s better than my mum

1:52 AM

But he gets abusive when I screw up or do something he doesn’t like

1:52 AM

But it’s ok he’s fatter than me so I can run faster

Bahahahahahaha

Okay so I’m going to be charged with double murder with a smile on my face

Lmao

1:53 AM

I don’t wanna kill then

1:53 AM

Them

1:53 AM

They will die someway or another

1:53 AM

And also they look after my brother just fine

cate

I don’t wanna kill then

You don’t have to love :3

I’m not gonna let him lose his parents

1:53 AM

So no

1:53 AM

They can live

Alright

I won’t be selfish

They have been spared

Hehe

Does your brother have it easier than you ?

Yeah-

1:54 AM

I think

1:54 AM

He abused me when I was little mainly

Huh

But I thought it was Normal

1:54 AM

I still do

1:54 AM

He punches me

Does he still do this?..

And kicks me

1:54 AM

To the point

1:54 AM

Sometimes

1:54 AM

But it’s where I get asked if I’m abused

Time to cut his hands off

Actually you know what

1:55 AM

I have a friend that's in pretty much the same situation as you

Awh are they ok?

Yeahhh they're doing great !

That’s awesome

I mean she

1:55 AM

But yeah I've been thinking about it for a little while

1:56 AM

The more you add details to stuff that happens to you

1:56 AM

The more you remind me of her

I hope she’s okay <33

Yeah of course

1:56 AM

Things got better for her

1:56 AM

As they will for you

Maybe

1:56 AM

As long as i do well

cate

As long as i do well

The sooner you’re able to leave the better hun

Yeah

If I may ask how old are you ?

15

Huh so my guess was correct

Yup

I unironically wanted to die at this age as well

Slay era

It's when my anxiety kicked in

2:03 AM

Made my life a living hell

It’s when something not so good happened to me

Awh

So 15 is all of our years

Literal slay era

2:04 AM

OKG

2:04 AM

OMG

Yeahhhh

MY FRIEND

2:04 AM

TOLD MY I HAD MAN HANDS

2:04 AM

IS THAT A COMPLIMENT OR?

I'd take that as a compliment

2:04 AM

Most likely because I'm a man

LMAO

cate

TOLD MY I HAD MAN HANDS

Compliment

she said they are veiny and strong

2:05 AM

I’m literally a man

You’re my man :3

That's the sweetest thing I've read today

Well it’s true

Lmao

What?

Ur romantic

Only for you love ^^

Awwwwww

so sweeeeet

Thank you

JanotLeLapin

Awwwwww

so sweeeeet

Shush before I cut off your dinosaur rawr (edited)

You wouldn't dare

Yes I would

2:13 AM

How dare you cut his dinosaur

I’ll cut off yours too if you dare oppose me young lady!

Oppose you how?~

Sh

Nyooo

2:16 AM

My dinosaur

2:16 AM

Cry about it

You gotta make me for that to happen ;3

Crying won't bring him back

2:17 AM

So I stand here stronger than ever

2:17 AM

To avenge

2:17 AM

My

2:17 AM

Dinosaur

Smd <33

Maybe I will

2:19 AM

lol

I won't

2:20 AM

So go ahead and knock yourself out 2D

Thanks broski

2:20 AM

Yeahh

JanotLeLapin

Wait a minute

2:21 AM

Micheal Jackson(

2:21 AM

?*

2:22 AM

HEE HEE

Yup

2:22 AM

Twas me

2:22 AM

The whole time

Hee hee

Was the accusations of you being a pedophile true?

Maybe

holds mic to you

2:22 AM

We need a yes or no answer

In that case

2:23 AM

I'm gonna go with

2:23 AM

Nnnnoo..?

2:23 AM

I love it when powerful people can do immoral things and no one cares

2:23 AM

Like michael jackson

2:23 AM

Or jeffrey epstein

2:24 AM

Or jim carrey

Michael Jackson is mid asf

Or bill clinton

2:24 AM

Nooooo whaaaaAaATT

2:24 AM

What did I just hear

:))

I'm gonna be honest

2:25 AM

He's not my favorite

2:25 AM

But technichally

He’s gross

2:25 AM

So are his songs

2:25 AM

Tate McRae turning me lesbian tho (edited)

2:25 AM

Yeah I guess I don't listen to the lyrics when they speak english

2:25 AM

Because me dumb dumb no understand

2:26 AM

Technically his songs are really good

2:26 AM

Like

2:26 AM

Musically

2:26 AM

Right

Meh

2:26 AM

I don’t listen to them

2:26 AM

I’m not old

That's fair

:3

Speaking of music

cate

Tate McRae turning me lesbian tho (edited)

Damn

I can't stop listening to freeze corleone it's been like 2 or 3 months

2:29 AM

His last album

2:29 AM

Is

2:30 AM

The best thing I've heard in my entire life

@2D So Technically this guy I met this morning well. I started to like him but you guys they get quirky at night but he is 17 and I'm 18 and he was saying I wish I saw a butt pic like wtf

5:34 AM

It was the first day

5:34 AM

And tbh

5:34 AM

He lied to me that I was handsome

Oh.

5:34 AM

Thirst trap

I didn't fall for it

Good

I'm smarter than that

What an ass.

LOL

cate

What an ass.

He was

5:35 AM

Why do you think I'm dead inside

He had no Gyat tho.

5:35 AM

Awh love.

I'm kidding

5:35 AM

Maybe

cate

He had no Gyat tho.

bonnie how big was that gyat

Wdym?

5:35 AM

No I mean like

5:35 AM

He didn't show anything

5:35 AM

I don't like fuckin nudes

@2D has a massive Gyat

H-heyyy

5:36 AM

Shhhhh~

2D

H-heyyy

Don’t tell all my secrets :3

Tmi

Hehe :3

cate

Hehe :3

°BombingBunny°

Tmi

Frfr

As I was saying

5:37 AM

Just people are cruel

Not everyone is cruel

313 DET

Click to see attachment 🖼️

Lmao

You know what I'm saying

5:37 AM

Anyways I'm done lmao

nah you can never truly know someone’s intentions until you’re too late

Or you run them out of patience

I seriously can't stand myself

8:57 AM

I can't stand how horrible I look

8:58 AM

I can't look at myself without getting disgusted

8:58 AM

I hate myself so much

9:01 AM

I don't know what to do

9:01 AM

I really wish I could just hide away forever honestly I don't want anyone to see me

Griff

I can't stand how horrible I look

Love, it doesn’t matter what you look like. No one is ugly. Everyone looks different. Plus no one chooses a relationship on looks these days. I have a handsome boyfriend and I am not pretty. Looks don’t mean anything my love.

sadly people do look for looks in this generation, but im glad there are people with good souls and hearts too.

cate

Love, it doesn’t matter what you look like. No one is ugly. Everyone looks different. Plus no one chooses a relationship on looks these days. I have a handsome boyfriend and I am not pretty. Looks don’t mean anything my love.

Sweetheart you are the prettiest girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Please don’t say you’re not pretty because it’s not true I love you

Griff

I don't know what to do

Sadly yeah, many (not all) people do care about looks. You can have many things in common, even have great personality chemistry and stuff but once they find something to be nitpicky, lot of people can ghost you overnight. Like I would call myself handsome with a good personality but because I was kinda chubby they just noped out. Though it is worth noting that like 99.99% of people aren't ugly. Sometimes what one needs is to get fit, fitting haircut (and facial hair), good diet, good clothes, good hygiene. It might not be completely easy but it's not impossible. Don't hate yourself, don't give up and fulfill your potential. You can do it.

PREACH BROTHER PREACH

BLESSED ARE THE CHEESEMAKERS

Cheese :3

DynamoLion

Sadly yeah, many (not all) people do care about looks. You can have many things in common, even have great personality chemistry and stuff but once they find something to be nitpicky, lot of people can ghost you overnight. Like I would call myself handsome with a good personality but because I was kinda chubby they just noped out. Though it is worth noting that like 99.99% of people aren't ugly. Sometimes what one needs is to get fit, fitting haircut (and facial hair), good diet, good clothes, good hygiene. It might not be completely easy but it's not impossible. Don't hate yourself, don't give up and fulfill your potential. You can do it.

If the issue is perceiving oneself as ugly rather than actually being so

1:57 PM

I think it's much more complicated than that

It's true that perception of beauty and ugliness is strongly based on our beliefs and such. Can't say from mere text if it isn't just personal perception.

I have a few friends who work really hard to look good

2:27 PM

Like go to the gym and shit

2:27 PM

In the end they really do look good

2:27 PM

But they still feel ugly and hate being seen

Honestly a lot of people are scared of not finding love because of looks tbh but if someone is just looking for someone who looks good is it really love? I mean yes it can sometimes come into play but personality and stuff like that matters as well

DynamoLion

Sadly yeah, many (not all) people do care about looks. You can have many things in common, even have great personality chemistry and stuff but once they find something to be nitpicky, lot of people can ghost you overnight. Like I would call myself handsome with a good personality but because I was kinda chubby they just noped out. Though it is worth noting that like 99.99% of people aren't ugly. Sometimes what one needs is to get fit, fitting haircut (and facial hair), good diet, good clothes, good hygiene. It might not be completely easy but it's not impossible. Don't hate yourself, don't give up and fulfill your potential. You can do it.

People treat you differently based on how you look, people who don't look as good as others will get picked on a lot and it affects how they act around others and how they perceive themselves. It doesn't happen anymore but I used to be bullied relentlessly just for my looks and it ruined me to an extent. I try not to let it get to me but it's really hard sometimes

2:32 PM

I might not be that ugly but no matter what I do it's what I feel like

Griff

People treat you differently based on how you look, people who don't look as good as others will get picked on a lot and it affects how they act around others and how they perceive themselves. It doesn't happen anymore but I used to be bullied relentlessly just for my looks and it ruined me to an extent. I try not to let it get to me but it's really hard sometimes

Yeah that's understandable. Sometimes you just get picked for even nonsensical reason which ruins your social skills and that leads to a vicious cycle. But it's worth noting that time heals wounds and you shouldn't live in the past but the presence and the future. There are a lot of shitty people, but all you need in your life is a few good ones. And I know there are people that can go, take that pain and turn it into a matter of a past and something that connects us in a way that people who bullied you wouldn't even be able to comprehend.

Yeah, I try my best to look past it and stuff and I'm better than I was a few years ago so I guess I'm healing, I just still get like this sometimes

4:54 PM

But thank you you're right

Yeah Griff

5:35 PM

You can do it

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Some dude got hacked lol

I think he was just a spam account

7:00 PM

Or he got paid to spam

Interesting

Idk

7:01 PM

I dont think he got hacker

They probably scanned some barcodes

Hacked

7:01 PM

Lol

cough cough @Moon

Huh

What’s the lore here?

I unironically tried joining

Whos Moon

It's a phishing trick (edited)

Im new, i dont understand

They try to get your Discord credentials when you join the server

Oh ok

They imitate the discord login page but it's their website

Ikr

Yeahhh

I also did a bit of phishing in the past

7:03 PM

I dont do it tho

7:03 PM

And i lost those credentials

Noooooo

Why

7:05 PM

You want them? I cant give them

7:05 PM

Sowwt

7:05 PM

Sowwy

Lol

7:05 PM

Don't cry about it

Too late

Do the phishing urself

cate

cough cough @Moon

what?

cate

They probably scanned some barcodes

BRUH

<33

lol

IT WAS A QR CODE GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT

Idc

Shit sorry

Moon

IT WAS A QR CODE GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT

You admit it

7:06 PM

Guilty

Yeah

anyway

7:06 PM

adios

He got a little excited

7:07 PM

Don’t change the subject jmoon79

Hold on

You my good man

7:08 PM

Are horni

Maybe I am

7:08 PM

But

7:08 PM

Moon declares math to be the best subject

7:08 PM

I just won't let that slide

Moons weird

JanotLeLapin

Moon declares math to be the best subject

It is

7:09 PM

very easy

Yeah this man is evil

cate

Moons weird

mhm

And unholy

Math ain’t easy

Very easy ?!

7:09 PM

Alright how old are you moon

This server is anything but holy angered

It was my worst grade

He must perish

He’s like 12

cate

It was my worst grade

it was my best

Yeah definitely

JanotLeLapin

Alright how old are you moon

14

Math sucks

I got a c+

Oh ok that checks out

cate

I got a c+

Math is so fucking easy in middle school

WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED TO FACTORISE WHAT IS THIS DUMB SHIT

High School*

IDGAF ABOUT SURFA

7:10 PM

SURDS*

Oh yeah you don't live in france

OUI

In france when you're 14 you're in middle school and you learn about triangles and shit

7:10 PM

What

Jimmy has 15 apples calculate the mass of the sun

2D

Jimmy has 15 apples calculate the mass of the sun

Yes

JanotLeLapin

In france when you're 14 you're in middle school and you learn about triangles and shit

Yeah same in Australia

Hey moon whats i^2

7:11 PM

Hold on lemme reach my algebra homework brb

It’s difficult for me because I was at a different school for the first 3 terms of this year and then moved to a different school in the last term

7:12 PM

I didn’t go to school at all at my old school

Yeah that sounds like hell to learn math consistently

7:12 PM

If you need help to do homework or smth maybe I can help

So I didn’t learn pythag uh sin cos tan indicies surds

7:13 PM

Thank fuck I’m finished for a while but thanks for the offer

Trigonometry is pretty easy in my opinion

7:13 PM

It's one of the few things where

7:13 PM

You don't need to think

7:14 PM

You just learn a lot of stuff by heart

7:14 PM

And that's it

Yeah but I didn’t learn it

Trigonometry sucks

7:14 PM

I couldn’t apply it so I forgot it almost instantly TwT

And because I got a b+ on my last recorded test I got put into and extension maths class

7:14 PM

We did extra exams

7:14 PM

And did year 11 maths

7:15 PM

Studied from year 10 textbooks

Yeah that doesn't sound really helpful

7:15 PM

What does year 11 math correspond to

7:16 PM

Like at what age typically do you learn this

Uh

7:16 PM

17

Yeah so it's like probabilities vectors and such right ?

Idfk i didnt pay attention to it

Hahahaha

I didn’t understand any of it tho

7:17 PM

He taught it to us because “it will help you understand later”

7:17 PM

Bitch I don’t understand the stuff we doing now

cate

He taught it to us because “it will help you understand later”

I hate that reason

Real

Nahhh he's right though

7:18 PM

If you learn it before everyone else you have an unfair advantage in uni

Don’t u dare take his side

7:18 PM

Yeah but like

7:18 PM

We learn it later

7:18 PM

Ugh

cate

Don’t u dare take his side

While you take my side as well

And I picked methods extension next year

7:19 PM

And I have to do Japanese

7:19 PM

Pray for me

What the hell why Japanese

IDK

That school sounds so random

I did jap and French simultaneously at my old school

7:20 PM

Let’s just say I wrote Bonjour on my jap exam

cate

And I have to do Japanese

Oh my

Yes I have this just loaded

Anyways @Moon make sure to enjoy high school

7:21 PM

Lmao

Speaking of this I really gotta study

7:23 PM

I have like 3 tests next week

7:23 PM

Oof

7:23 PM

What tests though?

They're pretty easy

7:23 PM

Two in informatics

7:23 PM

And one in physics

7:23 PM

But like hard physics

Gravity makes things fall

7:23 PM

Simple

That makes sense

7:24 PM

And

7:24 PM

That's one thing I need to know by heart

Janot that’s one thing I wanna ask you

Yeah

Where is knowing physics gonna apply now?

7:24 PM

I’m genuinely curious

Well I'm glad you asked

7:25 PM

Basically it's my first year in this really good university

7:25 PM

It's the best one in france for science and shit

7:25 PM

So they want to filter out everyone who isn't good enough

7:25 PM

By throwing in random hard subjects like physics and algebra

7:25 PM

Even though I'll never use that

7:26 PM

Since I'm here to study computer science

Computer science

7:26 PM

Elaborate

That includes programming and networking and designing algorithms efficiently and stuff like that

7:26 PM

Understanding hardware as well

7:27 PM

There's even a machine learning module in my university if I'm not mistaken

Oh nice

7:27 PM

So you’re doing physics to get noticed more for a university that teaches you computer science?

7:27 PM

To put it simply

Yeah pretty much

Gotcha ^^

7:28 PM

Well I hope you succeed and I wish you the best of luck

So for now I'm kinda struggling because it's really hard for my little brain

7:28 PM

Thank you so much !

JanotLeLapin

So for now I'm kinda struggling because it's really hard for my little brain

We’re all small brained individuals it’s okay

Thanks

7:28 PM

And how about you

7:28 PM

What are you studying?!

I’m not planning on going to college

7:29 PM

But rather planning on going to trade school

Ooooh that's interesting

7:29 PM

Yeah if you live in the US college is really expensive right?

JanotLeLapin

Yeah if you live in the US college is really expensive right?

Indeed and that’s where I am

7:30 PM

College seems like a waste of time for me since it doesn’t have what I want to learn and the costs are just too much so I plan to go to trade school and be a welder

Yep that makes perfect sence

7:30 PM

Where I live college is the place where everyone go because it's the cheapest

JanotLeLapin

Where I live college is the place where everyone go because it's the cheapest

You’re in France?

Yeahhh

Nice ^^

7:31 PM

What’s it like there(

7:31 PM

?*

Hmmm

7:31 PM

It's nice overall

7:32 PM

It's really dirty in Paris but it's ok

I mean Paris is kind of the tourist trap

Yeah exactly

7:32 PM

It's really not as advertised at all

7:32 PM

Everyone is so angry all the time

7:32 PM

Especially in Paris

I could make a joke here but I’m not gonna

Is it a kanye west and jay z reference ?

Yep

Bahahaha

7:33 PM

Yeahhhh le funny song

Yeah

Hey do you guys in the US have this specific kind of school where

7:34 PM

You learn a whole lot of stuff really fast

7:34 PM

So you can't sleep more than 6h by night

7:34 PM

And then you have a huge exam

7:34 PM

And only the 100 best candidates can reach a really good school

Harvard or Stanford

Those are the schools in question

I know Harvard is a law school and Stanford it’s in California so uhh

7:36 PM

No

But in France we have something called "préparation aux grandes écoles" that we call "prépa" for short and it basically teaches you everything you need to nail the final exam

7:36 PM

And it's like hell

7:36 PM

The teachers just speedrun their courses and also disrespect you

JanotLeLapin

But in France we have something called "préparation aux grandes écoles" that we call "prépa" for short and it basically teaches you everything you need to nail the final exam

We kinda had that in elementary school

JanotLeLapin

The teachers just speedrun their courses and also disrespect you

From 6th-9th grade I had to deal with this

Damn that sucks

7:37 PM

I'm sorry

Something that happened and I’ll never forget this

7:38 PM

There was this radical feminist teacher and I have no problem with feminism but it was like the last good day of the year before it got freezing cold

7:38 PM

And what she decided to do is that she left all the boys in the classroom and let the girls outside

7:38 PM

I’m not even joking

7:39 PM

I know it sounds like nothing

7:39 PM

But after that it just got worse

7:39 PM

She always had it out for the boys

Whoa

7:39 PM

Isn't that straight up abuse ??

Yeah

7:40 PM

I don’t think she’s working there anymore

7:40 PM

I hope not anyway

7:40 PM

Anyway what’s your school stories?

7:40 PM

Are they as insane as American schools?

I had a philosophy teacher last year who loved to have debates with his students (us) just to show them how smart he is

7:41 PM

Even though he's like 40

Bro what

Yeah he's a piece of shit

How fragile do you have to be to do that?

Yeah exactly

A kid brought a gun to school

That sounds American

Yeah

And that also reminds me of something that happened to my school last year as well

What?

Right before some vacation

7:43 PM

A group of really dumb students

7:43 PM

Brought

7:43 PM

Not a gun but something that looks like it

A nerf gun?

Not a nerf gun

7:44 PM

And continuously fires after being triggered

What

7:44 PM

A BB gun maybe?

Oh it was called a mortar

7:45 PM

And it made so much noise

7:45 PM

That

7:45 PM

Everyone thought it was a terrorist attack

7:45 PM

Like they were hiding under the tables and shit

7:45 PM

They thought they were gonna die

lol

7:45 PM

So it was a fake mortar?

I wasn't here because I started at 11 in the morning that day but

7:45 PM

No no a real one

Oh shit

I think I have a video of the aftermath actually hold on

Let’s see

7:46 PM

For those curious on how to make a loud explosion

7:46 PM

Grab a plastic bottle with the cap,put a few chunks of dry ice and water into the bottle,close it,and run since the projectiles act like a grenade

7:47 PM

Nevermind I have a video of the thing

JanotLeLapin

Click to see attachment 🖼️

lol

7:47 PM

Tomfoolery

7:47 PM

Oh wait also

7:48 PM

I wanna try this

7:48 PM

@cate

7:48 PM

Australia is actually British

JanotLeLapin

Click to see attachment 🖼️

Just a bit of banta

Huh

Australia is actually British :3

O

Hehe

JanotLeLapin

Anyways @Moon make sure to enjoy high school

I am

Good good

cate

I got a c+

So you are a failure, i knew it

Artasin :3

So you are a failure, i knew it

Yeah

cate

Yeah

Is this why no one loves you as well

Artasin :3

Is this why no one loves you as well

Yup

What

8:36 PM

Pomni man spoke

Artasin :3

Is this why no one loves you as well

What's up with this discord server of degenerates

12:37 AM

Why does half of you guys wanna die and shit like damnnn

cloud be worse

Is there some correlation between being gay and wanting do commit suicide or something

joker

cloud be worse

Yeah I guess but still

12:38 AM

Scary

JanotLeLapin

Is there some correlation between being gay and wanting do commit suicide or something

no there not

JanotLeLapin

Scary

na

12:38 AM

not realy

joker

no there not

Yeah I was being ironic

you get used to it

JanotLeLapin

Yeah I was being ironic

i know

I don't want to get used to this

JanotLeLapin

I don't want to get used to this

you have to

Because getting used to this implies treating it like it's normal

it is normal

Committing suicide is normal ?

i seen it happin

12:39 AM

a lot

Doesn't make it normal

everyone is fucked in someway

JanotLeLapin

Doesn't make it normal

eh you get used to it

12:40 AM

if you don't

12:40 AM

it just makes shit worse

Feels like you need to hang out with different people man

12:41 AM

If everyone you spend your time with has mental issues you might end up not being well either

JanotLeLapin

Feels like you need to hang out with different people man

i have no one else

Relatable

JanotLeLapin

If everyone you spend your time with has mental issues you might end up not being well either

im fine i have issues but i deal with them

12:41 AM

mostly being with fucked up pepl

Doesn't sound like a solution to me but you do you

it helps becuse hey they don't mind you saying all this shit to them and they know how to help

12:43 AM

so

I think seeing a psychiatrist helps the most on the long run

JanotLeLapin

I think seeing a psychiatrist helps the most on the long run

yes but i do not have the time for nor do i want to

If you stay with people who share the same issues as you well you end up feeling normal for having awful problems right

12:45 AM

Everyone has the time to see a psychiatrist

12:45 AM

I'm not trying to shame anyone for having issues or anything just to be clear

12:45 AM

Because I have some myself

12:45 AM

But

12:45 AM

I see a psychiatrist

12:45 AM

Then I know what's wrong with me

12:45 AM

And I know how to fix it

12:46 AM

If I just spent all day with people who had the same issues I wouldn't be actively trying to fix anything

12:46 AM

Which is also what I did for a while

they have there pros and cons (edited)

What are the cons then (edited)

JanotLeLapin

What are the cons then (edited)

I personally dont want one because of trust issues so that could be a con

it is

Maybe stress of telling someone

12:48 AM

Fear of getting judged

wich would make shit worse

It all depends on peoples emotions about it and opinions

mhm

joker

wich would make shit worse

Yeah on the short term it's worse

12:49 AM

That's the point of fixing something

12:49 AM

It's hard

12:49 AM

But you have to do it at some point

12:49 AM

And the longer you wait the harder it gets

JanotLeLapin

It's hard

Thats is not the case with mental health

JanotLeLapin

But you have to do it at some point

eh i live with them and they can't realy be fixed

If it gets harder it could push someone off the edge

That's exactly how it works with mental health

Which is why its important to not force someone into something they dont want

gameguy093

Which is why its important to not force someone into something they dont want

yep

Oh I'm not forcing anybody

12:50 AM

I'm just telling you guys what's best objectively

12:50 AM

You can and you should take your time

"objectively"

JanotLeLapin

I'm just telling you guys what's best objectively

Cant really say whats the best for people sadly

12:50 AM

Especially with mental health

What do you mean the best for people

12:51 AM

I am the people in question

12:51 AM

And I am struggling with mental health issues

12:51 AM

I'm telling you I know what I'm talking about

Yes but you said "psychiatrist helps"

12:51 AM

It helps for you

12:51 AM

Not other people

JanotLeLapin

I'm telling you I know what I'm talking about

your starting to push it on to others

gameguy093

Cant really say whats the best for people sadly

Which is when this comes into play

gameguy093

Which is when this comes into play

yep

Then what

joker

your starting to push it on to others

wich you don't mean to do your just trying to help i understand that (edited)

Then let people find there own solutions let them reach for help if they want it

I'm not pushing anything on anybody I swear

JanotLeLapin

I'm not pushing anything on anybody I swear

you don't mean to

But you kinda are

gameguy093

But you kinda are

see

I'm just saying pretending like there are no problems is not a solution

JanotLeLapin

I'm just saying pretending like there are no problems is not a solution

it can

Or ignoring the problems in question

Could be for some people

its working for me

For now at least

it i don't every becuse way worse and i want to fucking kill my self over it

12:53 AM

so

I mean I remember saying the same stuff so I know what you all are going through

JanotLeLapin

For now at least

Then when it does not he can find another thing that works for him

gameguy093

Then when it does not he can find another thing that works for him

yep

When just using a little bit of common sense you find out really quick that the best way to heal is to know what's wrong

JanotLeLapin

When just using a little bit of common sense you find out really quick that the best way to heal is to know what's wrong

i know what's worng (edited)

JanotLeLapin

When just using a little bit of common sense you find out really quick that the best way to heal is to know what's wrong

And I assume that worked for you

joker

i know what's worng (edited)

but that dosen't help

joker

i know what's worng (edited)

Would you mind telling me ?

it makes its worse

joker

but that dosen't help

Of course not that's merely the first step

gameguy093

It all depends on peoples emotions about it and opinions

^

JanotLeLapin

Would you mind telling me ?

i do not want to due to if i think about i start to have a breck

Alright fair

wich makes shit even worse for me due to me feeling weak

joker

wich makes shit even worse for me due to me feeling weak

i realy just hate my self

gameguy093

^

I don't think it depends on anything, some really smart people made a lot of research to understand how the brain works and how chemichals moving around makes one experience life. They were able to recognize patterns amongst people seeking help regarding mental health, and came up with treatments (either through therapy or medication) to fix the issues

joker

i realy just hate my self

Well you should really speak about this to someone that can help maybe not a psychiatrist or a doctor but anyone you trust

JanotLeLapin

I don't think it depends on anything, some really smart people made a lot of research to understand how the brain works and how chemichals moving around makes one experience life. They were able to recognize patterns amongst people seeking help regarding mental health, and came up with treatments (either through therapy or medication) to fix the issues

Do you have an article about it or any sources? I like research about mental health :3

JanotLeLapin

Well you should really speak about this to someone that can help maybe not a psychiatrist or a doctor but anyone you trust

i have

12:59 AM

dosen't help much

12:59 AM

i just inore it

joker

dosen't help much

Yeah I can relate to that though

gameguy093

Do you have an article about it or any sources? I like research about mental health :3

I know a whole lot about what I'm experiencing

12:59 AM

And how my medications work

1:00 AM

I don't think I can find an article though

but how do you know that tho?

JanotLeLapin

I know a whole lot about what I'm experiencing

Whether yk a lot about it its always good to have a source on things

1:00 AM

And always a chance to learn more

Yep that makes sense

1:01 AM

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S266656032200038X

Is the chemical imbalance an ‘urban legend’? An exploration of the ...

The theory that depression is caused by a serotonin abnormality or other chemical imbalance has become widely accepted by the public and is one promin…

1:01 AM

Just found this one after a quick google search

1:02 AM

Pretty interesting

joker

but how do you know that tho?

How do I know what?

JanotLeLapin

I know a whole lot about what I'm experiencing

^

Oh

1:03 AM

Well first I spoke about these issues to my doctor

1:03 AM

She quickly explained how all of it works basically and prescribed some medication (that I still use today)

1:04 AM

Then I saw a psychologist that explained in a lot of details this whole behaviorism theories and why I'm experiencing these issues

1:04 AM

And then I also did a few researches of how my medications work

1:05 AM

And that's about it really

1:05 AM

Now I feel a lot better

1:05 AM

Thanks to my medication but also because I know exactly how to react when I'm experiencing something bad

Why does no one like me fr

5:58 AM

I think people get tired of me really quickly

I don't think I'll ever find love lol

why would you say that?

Griff

I think people get tired of me really quickly

whattt noooo

Idk it just feels that way

nahhh

8:57 AM

you seem sad can l help you feel better?

I think I'm just tired its late here

Griff

I think I'm just tired its late here

ok

2

It’s the perfect time to move to the Rockies alone right now..

10:36 AM

Find a lookout job and to live alone..

10:37 AM

That and I just like the idea of that

10:37 AM

I think I’d fit in

10:42 AM

I’ll probably try and move to Colorado or Oregon to find one of these lookouts.

Oregon's a W (I live here) (edited)

Moon

Oregon's a W (I live here) (edited)

Same

10:46 PM

It's not a W

10:47 PM

It's an L

better than Cali dunno

True

someone just used me

11:15 PM

i feel like a fucking doll

U gud? (edited)

what do you think

I miss him and I miss being happy, and i often keep thinking about everything and blaming myself

🐸SourByte🐸

what do you think

Sry to make it worse ill shut up now

1

nah its good

the Firewatch OST makes me cry only because of the memories it brings back

I want a bf

I hope you find someone :3

12:34 AM

Well not hope

12:34 AM

I know you will

12:36 AM

An unfortunate discovery really hits close to home

Bitches with victim mentalities need to get a fucking grip. No one did shit to you, you destroyed it yourself because you thought no one liked you so you gave us a reason not to. Don’t be sad at the result, own that shit. You fucked up and no one else.

Bipity boobys bap

melted cheese

I want a bf

Same

♡ [RES] Alphaxx ♡

Bitches with victim mentalities need to get a fucking grip. No one did shit to you, you destroyed it yourself because you thought no one liked you so you gave us a reason not to. Don’t be sad at the result, own that shit. You fucked up and no one else.

Yeah people acting like victims make me want to get away from them

JanotLeLapin

Yeah people acting like victims make me want to get away from them

Ong

♡ [RES] Alphaxx ♡

Bitches with victim mentalities need to get a fucking grip. No one did shit to you, you destroyed it yourself because you thought no one liked you so you gave us a reason not to. Don’t be sad at the result, own that shit. You fucked up and no one else.

@wolfgames0419 could you elaborate?

Whats going on?

What do you mean?

"Bitches with victim mentalities" usually have a certain trauma, which... surprisingly or not, they didn't caused to themselves nor wanted. I agree, relationship with people like that takes mental strength. But at least once the relationship is over tell them what ruined it and that therapy isn't something to be ashamed of. We all are broken in our own little ways. Like I really appreciate that my ex didn't simply ghost me and we can go and talk about what we did right and wrong.

1

melted cheese

I want a bf

S a m e ~w~

DynamoLion

"Bitches with victim mentalities" usually have a certain trauma, which... surprisingly or not, they didn't caused to themselves nor wanted. I agree, relationship with people like that takes mental strength. But at least once the relationship is over tell them what ruined it and that therapy isn't something to be ashamed of. We all are broken in our own little ways. Like I really appreciate that my ex didn't simply ghost me and we can go and talk about what we did right and wrong.

im not talking about that.

i’m angry at him

11:35 PM

he cheated on me

I met a guy and we dated until today when were on a vc he said he was gonna kill himself and delte his acc And before i could say anything he had already deleted his acc Im so fucking depressed rn Trying not to fucking cry And im trying to rhink positive and hopingnits some fucked up prank But im scared

Awww it’s ok

Thx

:3

so like, i was trying to find a good way to get xp in fortnite... a-a-and i saw this skibidi toilet tycoon game in creative.. i mean.. i THOUGHT it would be such a bad method... b-b-but it gave me like TONS of xp.... you guys dont understand.. i think im..... im.... ADDITCED TO FORTNITE SKIBIDI TOILET TYCOON IN CREATIVE!! :(... there... i said it.. sigh...

niko

so like, i was trying to find a good way to get xp in fortnite... a-a-and i saw this skibidi toilet tycoon game in creative.. i mean.. i THOUGHT it would be such a bad method... b-b-but it gave me like TONS of xp.... you guys dont understand.. i think im..... im.... ADDITCED TO FORTNITE SKIBIDI TOILET TYCOON IN CREATIVE!! :(... there... i said it.. sigh...

Leave this mortal realm and don’t look back

real

7:57 AM

no

melted cheese

I met a guy and we dated until today when were on a vc he said he was gonna kill himself and delte his acc And before i could say anything he had already deleted his acc Im so fucking depressed rn Trying not to fucking cry And im trying to rhink positive and hopingnits some fucked up prank But im scared

That's really fucked up, I'm so sorry

Its ok Ive already calmed down And hopeing he didnt kill himself

melted cheese

I met a guy and we dated until today when were on a vc he said he was gonna kill himself and delte his acc And before i could say anything he had already deleted his acc Im so fucking depressed rn Trying not to fucking cry And im trying to rhink positive and hopingnits some fucked up prank But im scared

:<

11:54 PM

So how is the situation now, Zellan?

11:54 PM

Did he respond?

11:56 PM

For him to randomly say "im going to kill myself" and delete his account, it must be some kind of prank

Deleted User

Did he respond?

Sadly no

Oh

11:57 PM

Do you have any other way to contact him?

I mean he wasnpaying for nitro Why would he delete his acc

melted cheese

I mean he wasnpaying for nitro Why would he delete his acc

Yeah

11:58 PM

I really hope it goes well. Just remember that i'm here and hoping for the best! ^w^

Thank you ^w^

melted cheese

Thank you ^w^

Np :3 (edited)

I feel like I'm going to lose my marbles. I have to do it again and again and again and again and again and again. It's a cycle. I love it a lot

I feel that it’s not a fun feeling sadly that’s just how life kinda is and yeah it sucks. There will be downs and ups just gotta hold out for it

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

I feel that it’s not a fun feeling sadly that’s just how life kinda is and yeah it sucks. There will be downs and ups just gotta hold out for it

Just so many boring people

Yeah

7:26 AM

I think most people are a little boring tbh, I know for a fact I am

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

I think most people are a little boring tbh, I know for a fact I am

Just people don't know how to socialize or text me back people are so bland.

7:29 AM

Tbh our society is trash

True that

7:30 AM

Restart society would be a W

Idk why but your pfp reminds me of an old friend I'm so glad she is gone. He or whatever

Oh sorry about that

7:34 AM

I can change it if it makes you uncomfortable

7:35 AM

Changed it :3 Say if this is better or worse

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Oh sorry about that

No it's fine

7:42 AM

I'm just glad she's gone

7:42 AM

Gn

Ah oki

7:43 AM

Gn

7:45 AM

Even though I shouldn't care tbh

Why not

thinking about where i should hide my rope

What rope

Bondage?

Just even though today was a good day.. just I'm alone as always lol

6:18 AM

Heh

6:18 AM

Insanity

Chill bro ur making my depressed vibe decompress more

@Alex - Praise Glitter Glue bullies me im autistic

:/

Im autistic dude

8:33 PM

keep bullying me whatever im autistic man

I haven’t done anything to you???

This running gag is getting actually funny ngl (edited)

running gag

Yeah tbh

i like that

Like "idc man keep bullying me I'm autistic man"

8:34 PM

Lmfao

whatever man whats a running gag

Anyway can we go out this channel it’s kinda for serious topics

"I'm autistic man Idk what that is man keep bullying me"

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Anyway can we go out this channel it’s kinda for serious topics

Can you stop bullying me please I have autism

JanotLeLapin

Can you stop bullying me please I have autism

keep making fun of my autism man whatever im depressed but whatever man

Man come on I'm autistic I didn't know

I didn't lmpw om aitisticv

Blblblbl

im also autistic

When I was 8 I was watching funky town on accident (edited)

Im gay

My dad tickled my gooch till it chafed

I met a guy and we dated until today when were on a vc he said he was gonna kill himself and delte his acc And before i could say anything he had already deleted his acc Im so fucking depressed rn Trying not to fucking cry And im trying to rhink positive and hopingnits some fucked up prank But im scared

@melted cheese keeps bullying me for being autistic and it hurts my feelings

Im not dping anything

melted cheese

Im not dping anything

You are

What am i doing

Ignore him

Ok

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Ignore him

Yup your saying that about an autistic person

3:53 PM

Ableism in broad daylight

Abe lincoln?

ex

Yup your saying that about an autistic person

noo

5:06 PM

stop hullying

5:06 PM

you nigger

5:06 PM

Ok

I got called a low income minimum wage shaking a can alleyway rat paycheck to paycheck scraping for dimes beggar

you got owned

Because I don't have a ps5

Kat

you got owned

Shut up

ex

Yup your saying that about an autistic person

what

IM VENTING

5:22 PM

HOW MY VORE FETISH

5:22 PM

HAS NEVER BEEN

5:22 PM

FED

5:22 PM

LITERALLY

5:22 PM

CAUSE ITS VORE

Im Retared

4isdead

CAUSE ITS VORE

Whaaa

Oh that’s what you were talking about

12:31 AM

I’m gone for like two years and everyone goes crazy

Restarted

1:31 AM

Lmfao

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Bro joined a immediacy chose violence

immediacy

Hush

Bro

9:29 PM

I have ony ever boykissed one person

9:30 PM

And then hebcheated on me

9:30 PM

Tragedt

never boykissed in my life

9:30 PM

9:31 PM

neither boyhugged

An even truer tragedy

9:33 PM

People can dream ig

i cant, i dont sleep

Fair play

azl

Don't worry. You will get to it.

I also never kissed anyone in my life.

i feel manic and like im about to go fucking insane and do horrible shit to myself im scared

What might you do

idk like kms or sum

Nyooo

Dude

10:48 PM

Im 16

10:48 PM

And im five foot 1

10:48 PM

Who actually decided i was gonna be that short

It's cool to be short

True but not in a british secondary school

10:52 PM

Corridors be like that scene ij the lion king where mufasa dies

Oh

10:52 PM

That makes sense

Yeah man

10:56 PM

Its either femboy or deep rock galactic miner

Im pretty average in height

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Ik how u feel man

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

I even havw the goddamn shark from ikea

10:57 PM

Just had to accept my fate

10:58 PM

True , for me there is less places for my weight to be spread so i actually have ended up with monster thighs

10:59 PM

Its destiny

10:59 PM

True

I feel lonely

Same

I wanna rip of gods nutsack for not making body hair permanently removable

Understandable

I wish i had a nice body

nice

Lmao??

what?

jvles

I wish i had a nice body

Same

Even if i keep working out and losing weight i feel like ill never achieve like. Acceptance of my body

jvles

Even if i keep working out and losing weight i feel like ill never achieve like. Acceptance of my body

I went about it in an unhealthy way but I do feel so much more confident about myself. I do have to say that losing weight doesn’t make u adjust right away. You’ll still have tendencies and insecurities that u had before the weight loss

7:05 AM

But it is worth it if it’s what h want

Bro i havent been in a relationship in 3 years

Frank-N-Furter

Bro i havent been in a relationship in 3 years

That's sad

7:32 PM

:<

Indeed x7

7:32 PM

But it cant be helped so no point complaining abt it

never been in a relationship :3 it is what it is (im going insane)

Thats also very sad

7:34 PM

One day

personally i kinda gave up, i fear rejection so im not even trying

While fear of rejecti0n is a real thing i know, you definitely shouldnt give up

7:36 PM

Ik its cliche but there will be someone for u

in october, went to a rugby match with friends and their friends, and i learned that one of my friend friend had a crush on me, we were supposed to meet again a week ago but i wasnt in town, heard that a week ago she cheated on her bf so yeah i got lucky this time ig

Damn

i dont even know how did she catch feelings, im the most introverted, social anxious mf, i think i was drunk at the moment so i was a bit more sociable

Well somtimes people can br unpredictable about stuff like that so you never know

she catched feelings for the drunk me, not the sober me (edited)

Yeah

7:48 PM

You want people to ljke yoh for who you really are not a facade

yeah

7:49 PM

+anyway i prefer boys

azl

yeah

I understand that

but they dont know

azl

+anyway i prefer boys

Relatable

azl

but they dont know

Ahh

still didnt come out to my friends except one, but i think they know since they know i crossdress when bored in my room lol

If you dont mind me asking whys that? You dont think theyd respond well to it or just havent had the chance?

7:52 PM

Sorru for prying lol

7:52 PM

I just like to get involved

What's going on, guys?

Talking abt relatipndhipd and stuff

well.. my friend group is homophobic and some might react wrong about it, i know that my oldest friend will not care but the ones i met more recently will care..

azl

still didnt come out to my friends except one, but i think they know since they know i crossdress when bored in my room lol

I've come out to nearly every single one of my friends. They either don't care, or they make unfunny jokes about it (i really don't mind)

azl

well.. my friend group is homophobic and some might react wrong about it, i know that my oldest friend will not care but the ones i met more recently will care..

Oh thats a shame

azl

well.. my friend group is homophobic and some might react wrong about it, i know that my oldest friend will not care but the ones i met more recently will care..

I've also had some pretty homophobic friends

i already make jokes about my sexuality so the day i'll tell the truth they wont be surprised

I can relate

Deleted User

I've also had some pretty homophobic friends

Yeah same

7:57 PM

Im gonna go have dinner ill be back soon

Alright, bye

they also joke back but dammnn 2days ago, was in the vc with everyone, and suddently, i become the main subject they asked if all that jokes were jokes or if i was really gay, answered that im not gay then, my oldest friend said "SO YOU'RE BI??", said i just wont answer

7:58 PM

then they laughed and said "not answering is the same as answering"

Damn, that's depressing

7:59 PM

I felt it

7:59 PM

But i think my friend group would do the same to me

the jokes about it can be funny sometimes but most of the time its nearly bullying

Yeah i can understand

sometimes i leave the vc because i just cant stand it

Just yesterday, we were on a school trip with my classmates (they all know that i'm bisexual). They were also nearly bullying me, but i really didn't care and ignored them (edited)

i'm too sensible to just ignore..

8:03 PM

i think one day i'll just cut most of them off

Yeah, most people are too sensible to ignore

azl

i think one day i'll just cut most of them off

If they bother you more, then just cut them off

sadly all of them are people i know IRL and see often

8:04 PM

my bestfriend is someone i met online then in real life and hes the best person i've ever met to be honest

My most homophobic "friends" are also IRL friends

but sadly i can only meet him once or twice a year

azl

my bestfriend is someone i met online then in real life and hes the best person i've ever met to be honest

I've also met a lot of my friends online

azl

they also joke back but dammnn 2days ago, was in the vc with everyone, and suddently, i become the main subject they asked if all that jokes were jokes or if i was really gay, answered that im not gay then, my oldest friend said "SO YOU'RE BI??", said i just wont answer

Thats so not fair on you

8:11 PM

People rlly do need to leaen a bit of respect

Fr

azl

they also joke back but dammnn 2days ago, was in the vc with everyone, and suddently, i become the main subject they asked if all that jokes were jokes or if i was really gay, answered that im not gay then, my oldest friend said "SO YOU'RE BI??", said i just wont answer

That’s fucked

8:12 PM

Also sounds like the plot to heartstopper but lemme not

The thing is those people probably won't ever learn

Yep

Deleted User

The thing is those people probably won't ever learn

Probably not

Sad but true

The sad truth

8:13 PM

That's why i hate this society

Yep

I can't even come out to the world bruh, i immediately get hated on

Unfortunately that is the way it is

8:14 PM

However

8:14 PM

In doing so you actually make it easier to find people apart of the community

8:14 PM

Who know what you’re going thru

8:14 PM

Which makes it so much easier

True true

Also it stops u from making friends with people who are shitty

8:15 PM

As an out gay person it was shitty at first but it made life easier after a while bc of the amazing ppl I got to know as a result

8:15 PM

But if you don’t want to u dont gotta come out

8:16 PM

But at the very least do yourself a favor and drop those assholes

8:16 PM

They aren’t good people and their ideology shouldn’t be shoved down your throat

♡ [RES] Alphaxx ♡

They aren’t good people and their ideology shouldn’t be shoved down your throat

Nazi stuff man , dont need none of it

2months ago, i revealed to my best friend my sexuality, that i crossdress and my mental health, and since, he is super supportive and comforts me as much as he can even if he was also homophobic before, he gives me advices because hes older and also had mental health issues back then, 2hrs ago i cried reading his messages he is so nice, i love him so much.. im so sad that i cant meet him more frequently

NOW THATS A GOOD FRIEND MAN

YEAHH

azl

2months ago, i revealed to my best friend my sexuality, that i crossdress and my mental health, and since, he is super supportive and comforts me as much as he can even if he was also homophobic before, he gives me advices because hes older and also had mental health issues back then, 2hrs ago i cried reading his messages he is so nice, i love him so much.. im so sad that i cant meet him more frequently

Good shit

he is so nice

8:19 PM

he is the one that supported me to stop drinking too much alcohol and everything

Hope my advice was helpful but I’m exhausted so imma go sleep

I have regained body dysmorphia

8:21 PM

Yippee!!!

♡ [RES] Alphaxx ♡

Hope my advice was helpful but I’m exhausted so imma go sleep

yeah i was thinking about dropping them

8:22 PM

but i dont think im ready to come out

azl

but i dont think im ready to come out

U can drop em without coming out

yeah ik

You come out when you are ready

i never planned to come out to them anyway

But subjecting yourself to shit like that causes things like internalized homophobia

8:26 PM

And just ruins mental health

8:26 PM

Do what u need to do for u

jvles

I have regained body dysmorphia

Oh no

idk what I'm doing wrong no matter how hard I try I feel so unlovable I think after my first relationship I won't ever be able to love the same way again. As corny as that sounds I'm being serious. She fucked me up so bad I can't go one second without overthinking anything. She lied to me for over a year, manipulated me, and broke me down mentally. Now I need constant reassurance every fucking hour that the person I'm talking to doesn't actually hate me and want to leave me. And I don't blame people for not wanting to put in the work to do that, it's exhausting. I'm exhausting. I don't know if anyone will actually love me again

My heart is so heavy it hurts it feels like someone punched me in the ribs

azl

he is the one that supported me to stop drinking too much alcohol and everything

Im orobanly gonna be drinkin soda for the first time around post graduation

whaaat that’s crazy

I actually dont know how i am ever going to finish school. Not because i wont pass my exams but because i literally can't, everyday its thw same stuff , same assholes i meet everyday , same teachers who ďont help, same building thats rotting away . I have no motivation at all to continue

Griff

idk what I'm doing wrong no matter how hard I try I feel so unlovable I think after my first relationship I won't ever be able to love the same way again. As corny as that sounds I'm being serious. She fucked me up so bad I can't go one second without overthinking anything. She lied to me for over a year, manipulated me, and broke me down mentally. Now I need constant reassurance every fucking hour that the person I'm talking to doesn't actually hate me and want to leave me. And I don't blame people for not wanting to put in the work to do that, it's exhausting. I'm exhausting. I don't know if anyone will actually love me again

Im sure its gonna get better over time

Frank-N-Furter

I actually dont know how i am ever going to finish school. Not because i wont pass my exams but because i literally can't, everyday its thw same stuff , same assholes i meet everyday , same teachers who ďont help, same building thats rotting away . I have no motivation at all to continue

You can always just go build a hut in the forest

1:18 AM

Like uncle ted

Okay so stupid fucking character ai actually doesn't work

2:11 AM

Like last time I had to make a whole new fucking account

2:11 AM

Cause it wouldn't stop giving me THIS FUCKING MESSAGE

2:11 AM

UGGGHHHH

2:12 AM

K I'm out (edited)

2:14 AM

Hehe I figured it out

Yayyy

Ignore... Everything about that screenshot

I will

I feel like every time people talk about anything in the background they are talking shit about me, ik thats rlly stereotypical but i still feel that way and the worst part is is that i know for certain people do talk shit about me behind my back

Ok yall i really like this guy but idk if he likes me back and it’s upsetting. Like i know he likes talking to me and stuff but idk. He doesn’t respond often and never reaches out to me first. We’ve been talking every day but like idk…. just scared. Also im so fucking jealous of him at the same time like hes hot and has friends and has a good family and idk. I love him but i also wanna be him which is really unhealthy. RAAAA IDKK

1

Seeking advice but ig there is no problem its all in my head

Sorry but idk, every time i feel like this i get like the highest level of friendzone bro

No fr

5:57 AM

But i just dk UGHHHHH

My advice is to talk to him about how you feel about him

ong

And I know it’s way easier than it sounds but, coming from personal experience don’t wait too long to tell anyone you have a crush on how you feel

Oh this 1000% drawing it out hurts so much more in the long term

huh?

I mean just get it over with, if you draw it out/ wait it out it’ll end up hurting so much more

YEAH

7:49 AM

sorry I didn’t understand at first

It’s ight

Loneliness sucks

Aaaa

5:46 PM

I’m mad

5:47 PM

I have to do a report with the heat and noise and it’s due tomorrow.

5:47 PM

And I got it 15% done.

5:47 PM

Whhhhhyyyyyy

Can't tell if people like me or not

9:17 PM

Every good thought I have is overshadowed by doubt and anxiety

Griff

Every good thought I have is overshadowed by doubt and anxiety

Im sure people like you

Griff

Every good thought I have is overshadowed by doubt and anxiety

I like you

nolan

Loneliness sucks

Yep

10:24 PM

Actually gonna cry

10:24 PM

Idk why

It’s ok bro

Yeah, loneliness really sucks

Indeed x9

I am always lonely

10:27 PM

How do i fix my loneliness?

Just have to try to get to know new people

10:28 PM

Idk

10:28 PM

Im asking the same questions lmao

And how do i get to know new people?

No clue

10:29 PM

Wish i did

10:30 PM

NOT easy

11:08 PM

trust me

But i'm too shy for that >~<

i cannot hold a conversation with someone for more than 20sec

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

How?

im only sociable when im talking in a group

11:08 PM

but never with only one person

Yeah ik

11:09 PM

Yes i do

yeah but i dont talk to anyone there

azl

yeah but i dont talk to anyone there

I do

Right ive had a nice cry, gonna sleep now , byeee

i cant without being ankward

11:16 PM

idk

11:17 PM

i just have nothing to say

11:17 PM

i hate being there

I kinda know how to talk with ppl

i hate living in this godforsaken house. i wanna get out of here but i can’t

1

Julian

i hate living in this godforsaken house. i wanna get out of here but i can’t

How old you be?

1

17

1

Run away

1

Julian

17

Got like 1 year left

1

3:32 AM

Just wait

1

i’m a junior in high school and i started school late, and i have no money

1

u will get there just be patient

1

3:34 AM

ik thats hard

1

3:35 AM

get a job and start saving

1

3:35 AM

thats what ive been doing and hopefully ill be out by end of next year

1

i’ve been trying to get a job

1

just keep applying

1

3:37 AM

eventually u will get there

1

3:37 AM

patient is key

1

3:37 AM

as long as ur patient and consistent everything will work out

1

Everyone, please give @Deleted User support. They are mentally damaged and they seem so depressed.

Wtf

5:52 PM

I don't need a convention

It’s weird to publicly say that man

yeah

But they are-

I mean I hope you’re safe but weird too announce that

Thanks,why does everyone need to know my fucking business

it’s not cool to remind everyone in a public server about what’s going on abt a certain person (edited)

I was just trying to..

Nobody needs to know my shit

what if that person needs space

Its none of these peoples places

Everyone calm down

Look. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.

There’s ways to handle this and there’s people to handle this but neither are here

I didn't ask u to do this so ite disrespectful

5:54 PM

Let's say someone doesn't know it's ok not to stab someone

I just wanted to help people..

Do u think that person is gonna stab someone probably not

5:54 PM

Bc they would ask someone about it

the best way to do it is to just do it in a private manner, not in public

I was trying my damn best

5:55 PM

But it didn’t work,.

Its ok dude just dont do it again

Publicly sharing my business isn't it

I didn’t know..

well now you know

5:56 PM

i made that same mistake months ago

5:58 PM

just don’t do it again

@Bubby I'm sorry okay please dont leave...

6:32 PM

Know what I don't care,u can leave I'm not gonna make u stay.be like everyone.im used to it.i new u lied...

I expect at least a "oh ho eli how qa your day" but no the second they walk through the door its "Why avent you done this eli" "sort thag out eli" "whats wrong with yiu honestly"

Deleted User

@Bubby I'm sorry okay please dont leave...

He already left. I'm trying to talk to him in DMs, but he just won't respond to me

6:40 PM

Wow

6:41 PM

I'll see what i can do. I really don't want him to leave the server.

Deleted User

I'll see what i can do. I really don't want him to leave the server.

He hurt me,he promised he wouldn't leave and he lied...

6:43 PM

I hate humans

6:43 PM

Same

My intrusive thoughts want me to send the skull emoji

Don't

Ok

HELLO?!

7:11 PM

AH

7:11 PM

I’M SORRY

7:12 PM

AAAA

Hey Bubby, you're back!

BEAMER IS GONNA HATE ME

7:12 PM

I’M VERY SORRY

I don't think he's gonna hate you :3

Deleted User

He hurt me,he promised he wouldn't leave and he lied...

YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SAY EVERY INSULT IN THE BOOK

7:13 PM

TO ME

7:13 PM

I DESERVE IT

y’all calm down

anyways

7:15 PM

I hate myself and everything about myself!!!

7:16 PM

This is my glow up list im tryna do all these things by my birthday

Just don’t overwork yourself

7:18 PM

Also our birthdays are a day apart!

Omgg

Yee mines th 20th

7:19 PM

I’ll be 15

Ill be 17

Epic

Im tryna lose 40 lbs

I have to lose 67

I wanna experience being skinnnyyyyy

Same

7:20 PM

I started gaining weight in 5th grade

7:20 PM

And now I’m fat

Real

7:20 PM

Same

7:20 PM

Kinda

So I’m trying to lose it

You got this

7:21 PM

Its not hard

7:21 PM

Im 5 lbs down

That’s great!

Yee

i need to lose weight too

7:22 PM

i’m 20 pounds overweight

I want to dieeeeee ughhhh i hate all of this im so done with everything i want love i want attention i want relationships i want happiness UGHHHHH ok im ok

Fr

10:42 PM

Everyone I’ve dated except one has broken my heart

10:42 PM

I js want a guy/girl to treat me well

Julian

i need to lose weight too

Yeah same im like 138 i hate it sooooo much

Im also broken but it’s because I’ve never dated anyone haha

(not making it past 18)

10:44 PM

I have so much love to get but people don’t appreciate it

i give so much love to anyone but no one gives me back

Fr

it’s so exhausting

Ik

i always feel unloved

But I can’t pull bc people only care ab looks nowadays

Julian

i always feel unloved

What is love

Julian

i always feel unloved

Same :[

Julian

i always feel unloved

same

nolan

But I can’t pull bc people only care ab looks nowadays

that’s the problem where i live, and we have this girl that people love only for her looks

:[

she won homecoming queen for just her looks alone

Btw Julian I went through Dickson today

nice ig lol

lol

Julian

she won homecoming queen for just her looks alone

in reality she is a privileged, spoiled brat

nolan

But I can’t pull bc people only care ab looks nowadays

People say I don’t look as bad as I think but it’s just the way I comport, I’m so anxious around people I barely know

Reasonable

Idk what people here go after because ugly people that are bitches get more women than nice people

Artasin :3

Idk what people here go after because ugly people that are bitches get more women than nice people

yes

azl

People say I don’t look as bad as I think but it’s just the way I comport, I’m so anxious around people I barely know

Yeah people have told me I’m not ugly but most of my ugliness is my fat

Yeah I’m also a bit overweight for the European standard let’s say

10:48 PM

and because of this, I now starve myself daily

our homecoming queen doesn’t even look good. she looks like fucking gollum from lotr

i’m also p tubby

I hate my weight

then I’m so weak, I can barely finish some school days

Same

i hate my body

That’s why I wear hoodies all the time

i don’t

nolan

That’s why I wear hoodies all the time

Same except i also wear cargo pants

I wear pj pants

earlier this year i was 5’8” 190

I wear baggy clothes all the time

i did lose like 30 pounds this year though but i’m still p squishy

I’ve gained so much weight I don’t even remember my start weight

and now i’m like 5’9”

Yeah i have a rlly big gut and si during the summer i swim with a shirt

10:51 PM

And i have rlly big legs so i hate wearing shorts

Real

nearly lost like 9kg(around 20lb i think) within the last 2month

10:52 PM

i still feel fat

Please don’t overdo it

i feel like it looks the same

10:52 PM

it’s mentally exhausting

:[

Yeah been there and currently am

i definitely look skinnier atm

azl

it’s mentally exhausting

hug

and I’m still losing weight

Js please watch what you do bc they can be rly bad

i cannot eat a full meal, my stomach became so small

and my body is suddenly starting to no longer tolerate certain food

10:53 PM

i can no longer eat as much dairy

10:53 PM

anything with hot dogs in it make me feel sick

Julian

i can no longer eat as much dairy

Bro same

Yeah i throw up like all my food so my throat is in shreds and my voice sounds like ads

I drank milk this morning and my stomach was killing me

10:54 PM

️

and candy disagrees with my body now

nolan

Js please watch what you do bc they can be rly bad

i know but my weight make me feel like it’s the thing that’s making me be this lonely for my whole life, so I keep starving..

I haven’t had candy in a bit

my soda consumption has been at an all time low this year

azl

i know but my weight make me feel like it’s the thing that’s making me be this lonely for my whole life, so I keep starving..

:[

my dream weight is like 128 but the dr got mad at me for that decpite me being fat af

i can’t sleep much, I can’t eat much, I can’t do much in general

before quarantine i was skinny

10:56 PM

and now i have a round belly and wide hips

Same

like this week, I went to school 7hours out of 31, Im like stuck on my bed, im so low on energy

Aw man

i don’t think i’ll graduate this year

10:58 PM

i missed so much classes

I’m surprised I’m in highschool

i’m in a ton of ap classes n shit

I’ve been told by friends who knows some of my classmates that they even wonder what’s happening to me

Oh

its so cringe when I get to class because they all look at me weirdly, and don’t say a word to me

:[

11:01 PM

I’m sorry bro

I can relate somewhat

people think i look good when i really don’t

so I just don’t talk cuz I feel like the most ankward person ever, I just sit and wait for the time to pass

11:01 PM

and to get back home

11:01 PM

Lay on my bed

Yeah I missed a shit ton of school bc i was psych warded so people were like where tf are you

11:02 PM

So ik what you mean

What's happening in there

JanotLeLapin

What's happening in there

Hih

venting

Yeah I figured

xen

Yeah I missed a shit ton of school bc i was psych warded so people were like where tf are you

same with a personal friend

Julian

people think i look good when i really don’t

I think I have a ok face but an ugly body

yeah same

Hit the gym then

I can’t

11:03 PM

My mom and her boyfriend are always busy

Why is that

11:03 PM

Oh shit

Yeah

How far away is the gym at

11:03 PM

From your house I mean

Like 30 minutes

and the worse thing is, we swim in pe class… (edited)

:[

30 minutes of walk?

azl

and the worse thing is, we swim in pe class… (edited)

Damn I would feel so self conscious if I had to do that

Drive

Ohhh

11:04 PM

Unlucky

11:04 PM

You can always set up your own gym at home if you have enough room

11:04 PM

It's cheaper on the long run

my parents doesn’t want to sign me in a gym

Why's that

cuz my father thinks I should have a « real sport »

What's the alternative then

nolan

I think I have a ok face but an ugly body

same

i keep telling him that I can barely do anything else and that signing in a gym can make it easier to do multiple sports

So I wanted a ps5 for Christmas which is a lot but my step brother who is a dickhead and the worst kid I know is getting a switch and a bunch of other things to go with it

azl

i keep telling him that I can barely do anything else and that signing in a gym can make it easier to do multiple sports

Yeah going to the gym is always better than not doing anything at all

11:06 PM

Plus doing an other sport wouldn't solve the "having a good looking body" issue

nolan

So I wanted a ps5 for Christmas which is a lot but my step brother who is a dickhead and the worst kid I know is getting a switch and a bunch of other things to go with it

Unlucky

i’m also genetically predisposed to heart problems so the gym could overwork my heart

Damn

JanotLeLapin

Unlucky

Fr

Julian

i’m also genetically predisposed to heart problems so the gym could overwork my heart

Then what sport can you even do in that case?

the thing that’s pissing me off is that my local ski resort which I bought a 400€ season ski pass haven’t opened yet, they are opening next week but like damn, they are a week off already

i did lose some weight this year by improving my diet

11:08 PM

and walking

That’s good

Improving your diet has to be the easiest way to lose weight

i’ve cut way down on the sugar

That good

A good way to lose weight is just not sitting or laying

started eating more protein and fruits and vegetables

Instead you spend most your time standing up

I honestly can’t stand vegetables

You don't even need to run or walk just standing up on your own is enough to lose weight

11:09 PM

You just have to stay that way for a very long time

i’m also a big mess mentally

JanotLeLapin

A good way to lose weight is just not sitting or laying

i just melt in my bed all day when I have nothing to do, like I wake up, take a shower, then get to bed, no eating, just staying a bit hydrated, literally the worst life style

11:10 PM

but hey, i lose weight

11:10 PM

but it’s basically all muscle

11:10 PM

so at the end, I’m just weak

That's the worst lifestyle I've ever seen

11:11 PM

You must end up losing your mind

i am

I’ve been losing my mind

my mind is already gone

i miss school so often because of this

11:11 PM

i just can’t

How about you guys stop melting in your beds and shit

too much effort

i’m literally outside with my dog lol

There are so many things i want in life but im out of motivation

Azuall you have a friend group just go outside and play football every once in a while

11:11 PM

Like

11:11 PM

Every week end

my friends and I live like 30mins of driving away

11:12 PM

i should meet a friend every weekend for skiing when the resort opens tho

And you guys don't have trains or anything like that

that will be good

JanotLeLapin

And you guys don't have trains or anything like that

(les cars régionaux)

i love being skinny fat

I'm so excited not to be studying physics anymore

11:14 PM

That means I can go to the gym so much more instead of studying like a nerd

I’m so excited to not be in school

we have motorcycles to meet tho, but it’s getting expensive, i haven’t rode my bike in 3weeks, because it is Broken and because I would fail dui

Julian

i love being skinny fat

/s

It makes me have sewer slide thought

11:15 PM

I planned it out in my head

i might go see the doctor next week, i still barely get to sleep on school nights

:/

in april im getting my blood tested

I js wanna make it to Christmas

to see if i’m genetically predisposed for anything other than heart problems

Oh

nolan

I js wanna make it to Christmas

my Christmas will be so ass, I will just stay in my room, and play games so i do something else than rotting in bed

11:18 PM

+ my father won’t even be there cuz of work

my christmas is just gonna be me eating a shit ton of food

Fr

i don’t celebrate anything anymore, Christmas, new year, even my birthday, I just stay home

11:20 PM

Cuz no1 really invites me to do something and if they do, I refuse..

11:20 PM

basically self sabotage

11:20 PM

i want to be happy but I refuse opportunities

:[

So toxic

11:22 PM

So self detructive

I hope you get better bro

11:23 PM

@azl hugs

1

Im getting a bit better than before

I'm sure you'll get better

11:23 PM

It takes time though

11:23 PM

And most likely social interactions to some extent

11:23 PM

So a lot of efforts

2024 can’t be worse than 2023, atleast I hope so

Hopefully it’s better

2024 is the year you're leaving high school

11:27 PM

So yeah 100%

i still gotta graduate

11:28 PM

and get accepted in university

Good luck

if I dont, it’s going for another year

Rip

and I don’t think I will handle that

Well good luck

You're in NSI

11:32 PM

You can't fail

11:32 PM

Unless you suck really hard

maths, French, philosophy existing

11:33 PM

dreams shattered

11:33 PM

these will make me fail

11:34 PM

i already failed French soooo

Philo is such garbage

literally no purpose

During the exam as soon as they let me leave I just fucking left

11:35 PM

I barely wrote anything on the paper

11:35 PM

I got 4/20

11:36 PM

And still had my bac with mention assez bien al hamdullilah

JanotLeLapin

And still had my bac with mention assez bien al hamdullilah

3 languages in a single message wtf

11:37 PM

I only know English

french tooooo, it’s nothing about grammar, it’s basically: « can you remember everything about 20books? »

REALLLL

my friends who can’t even make the difference between « et » and « est » got 15/20

11:38 PM

…

So luckyyy

for non French speaking people, it’s like writing « and » instead of « is », this is so stupid

11:40 PM

i made 0grammar error and got 7/20

11:41 PM

and for the oral part, the jury was just a stupid bitch, we gotta present a book that we liked, i started to present to book i chose, she stopped me and told me to choose another book because she didn’t like that one

11:41 PM

like I prepare months for her to say « nah I don’t like this one »

11:42 PM

should have reported her, this is not legal at all bruh

11:42 PM

so I also got 7/20 for the oral part of the exam

11:43 PM

so there’s a chance I don’t graduate..

Au pire

11:45 PM

Rattrappage

the jury for « le rattrapage » will see « class missed: 170hours » they will send me back to high school, trust me

11:46 PM

and even parcoursup

11:47 PM

Still haven’t hit the 100hours for this semester, but I’m very close

Tt ça

11:48 PM

How about you actually go to school mate

Mentally exhausting

11:49 PM

I’m already so down, school makes it worse

Fr

In that case try thinking about how much worse it would be if you have to stay there for another year

Im drained and js want a significant other atp

You most likely don't need a significant other

JanotLeLapin

In that case try thinking about how much worse it would be if you have to stay there for another year

i will just join the army, im not doing another year

JanotLeLapin

You most likely don't need a significant other

First of all you need a good friend group that you see often

azl

i will just join the army, im not doing another year

️

yes

It's actually a decent idea

11:52 PM

But also a pretty big decision

11:52 PM

You need to be 100% sure it's what you want to do

11:52 PM

Or you might regret it

JanotLeLapin

You most likely don't need a significant other

It would make me happier

nolan

It would make me happier

It depends

JanotLeLapin

First of all you need a good friend group that you see often

Well people don’t like me so that’s a no go

What would make you happy is definitely a good friend group

11:53 PM

A significant other can get so stressful and overwhelming at times

Idc

Having friends is always a good experience

I have 3 online friends

11:54 PM

And people irl stress me out

*absolutely not joining the army to get headshotted by a 30mm anti air gun, who could think of that

(It’s a joke, I mean I hope It will stay a joke)

Firstly if you join the army you'll be doing a lot of exhausting activities

11:54 PM

So you need to be in a pretty good shape

I have social anxiety and I js constantly feel like im annoying people bc they just ignore me

i know

And you need to know that everyone who has a better rank than you will treat you like garbage

nolan

I have social anxiety and I js constantly feel like im annoying people bc they just ignore me

Yet I'm not ignoring you

11:55 PM

And you seem like a nice person

JanotLeLapin

And you need to know that everyone who has a better rank than you will treat you like garbage

i don’t care, I already get treated like garbage

JanotLeLapin

Yet I'm not ignoring you

I mean yeah but people usually do. But thank for not ignoring me.

azl

i don’t care, I already get treated like garbage

My point is depending on your point of view doing another year of high school might be better than doing the army

i mean it’s either army, either ecole 42

nolan

I mean yeah but people usually do. But thank for not ignoring me.

I can relate to that somewhat and you don't need to thank me man

azl

i mean it’s either army, either ecole 42

Oooh I tried to apply

JanotLeLapin

I can relate to that somewhat and you don't need to thank me man

I still will thank you

In that case you're welcome

JanotLeLapin

Oooh I tried to apply

I had an amazing score at the funny mini game beforehand but the site still crashed when everyone was applying at the same time

JanotLeLapin

In that case you're welcome

Fr though the first step to not feeling like shit is having a good friend group

11:58 PM

I used to feel like I needed a SO but then I made awesome friends

11:58 PM

And now I just do shit

11:58 PM

And barely experience social anxiety anymore

11:59 PM

So I get it might be different for everyone

11:59 PM

But it's definitely a good starting point

my awesome friend lives so far.. that pisses me off

Yeah I can relate to that too

11:59 PM

When I was 14 I had this awesome friend group

11:59 PM

That lived 200km away

my bestfriend lives 850km away..

TOUT ÇA

we meet once a year for less than a week

12:00 AM

and maybe not this year

12:00 AM

because shit getting expensive

azl

my awesome friend lives so far.. that pisses me off

Same

sncf.. cough..

12:02 AM

i hate French trains

12:02 AM

so expensive for no reason

12:02 AM

flight tickets are like 3 times cheaper

Oki bye bye

Byeee

for 1/7 travel duration

12:03 AM

byye

National railways of France

12:03 AM

Moment

I like my friend but we’ve only been friends for a few days

2:00 AM

wtf do I do

Uhm

2:11 AM

Idk

Im gonna tell them i like them when they go to sleep

nolan

Im gonna tell them i like them when they go to sleep

that will only make the anticipation and anxiety higher

I know

3:14 AM

Idc tho

You should consider starting to think before acting brother

I know

I haven’t even told them

You should tell them

3:29 AM

Well actually

3:29 AM

You shouldn't

3:29 AM

Yet

3:29 AM

But uh

3:29 AM

Tell them anyway

Well I have

3:32 AM

We’ve talked for hours on end every night

3:32 AM

wtv im not here to get lectured

You kinda are

3:34 AM

Yeah idk your tone just seemed kinda weird (edited)

Yea fs get to know them first like

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Yeah no

3:35 AM

Nope

3:35 AM

Yeah that's wrong

agreed

fs

Yeah I know that of course, but your tone seemed kinda odd, not the actual point of what you were saying

3:37 AM

No I told them that cause I wanted to see what would happen

3:38 AM

No shit

Huh

Bud

3:39 AM

You're completely misreading me (edited)

K I'm gonna go do dnd stuff cause this is kinda boring

Byeee

3:40 AM

idk what is going on

Yea

3:41 AM

Good

3:41 AM

So real

I don't act like that online most of the time actually though

3:42 AM

So like I said

Yea

Completely misreading me

Read bro like braille

I'm being annoying cause you're being annoying

3:43 AM

Duh

Soaring is the least edgy person on this server

Real though

Eh

3:44 AM

A lik

3:44 AM

Lil

3:44 AM

Whoaaa

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Damn pulling out the slurs

Girl

Bud

Youre in a server

3:45 AM

Called boykissers

3:45 AM

What other type of people would there be

Exactly

3:46 AM

Wdym

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

You need to be aware of when to shut up

XD

3:47 AM

Other way around

What

3:47 AM

When did that happen

3:47 AM

Im a guy?

3:47 AM

And im not big?

3:47 AM

OHHH

3:47 AM

youre that guy

3:47 AM

I forgot abt you

3:48 AM

Yea

3:48 AM

Im a whore

Oh so y'all got history

Idgaf

Soaring :3

Oh so y'all got history

Apparently

REAL

Huh

3:49 AM

My dad is like my bestie

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Your come-backs are actually trash though (edited)

REALL

Havent seen my dad in 7 years

3:49 AM

Jk i saw him 2 days ago

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Uh no??

Artasin :3

Jk i saw him 2 days ago

WHY WOULD YOU LIE LMFAOOO

3:49 AM

Bros yappin

jvles

WHY WOULD YOU LIE LMFAOOO

?

Seven years to two days

2 days

3:50 AM

He on a huntin trip gonna be back sunday

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

I've known this guy for like two days or something idk I ain't stupid

He rage quit

LMAO

Real

3:52 AM

Cis

3:52 AM

Dick bigger than yours

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Why do you think that's like relevant (edited)

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

I just cackled (edited)

3:53 AM

Good joke

3:54 AM

Finally something relevant or funny youve said!!

jvles

Finally something relevant or funny youve said!!

relevancy doesnt really matter when insulting someone

It does though

A lil

3:55 AM

Cuz like

3:55 AM

An insult cant be on its own or its nor funny

If something isn't relevant to the conversation and/or to the person then it's just bad

Like how your mom jokes aren’t funny

Your mom jokes can be funny when used ironically

3:56 AM

But yeah

True

Soaring :3

It does though

not really, in this convo appearance or dick size wasnt relevant but it was still brought up

Ev

not really, in this convo appearance or dick size wasnt relevant but it was still brought up

Bro asked if i was trans or “real” i was just proving that im down to show him how real i am

Something can be brought up but still not be relevant, that convo wasn't like a perfect model conversation (edited)

jvles

Bro asked if i was trans or “real” i was just proving that im down to show him how real i am

curiosity

Of?

whether ur cis or trans

Yeah sure it was clearly curiosity and not transphobia

jvles

Yeah sure it was clearly curiosity and not transphobia

can you read minds?

Yes actually

3:58 AM

You’re thinking of a pink elephant

Ev

can you read minds?

The way it was phrased was kinda odd btw

Yea

jvles

Yes actually

are you jewish? (is this antisemetic because i asked a question?

Obvi

Soaring :3

The way it was phrased was kinda odd btw

not rlly i can understand if you could hear his tone or whatever but its texting you cant

He asked if i was trans or “real” bro that clearly has a negative connotation

3:59 AM

Plus

3:59 AM

Hes a man

Ev

not rlly i can understand if you could hear his tone or whatever but its texting you cant

They said "trans or real" which is like saying that trans people aren't actually the gender that they are

1

He cant help being transphobic

4:00 AM

Hehe

4:00 AM

Sure

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Uh it's not though?????

Soaring :3

They said "trans or real" which is like saying that trans people aren't actually the gender that they are

real as in their sex is male

Bros listening to macklemore obviously hes a man

Ev

real as in their sex is male

Yeah but cis is the correct term "real" is an innately transphobic phrasing

Yall are so cute when you argue together

Soaring :3

Yeah but cis is the correct term "real" is an innately transphobic phrasing

Exactly

jvles

Yall are so cute when you argue together

Real

It completely demoralizes the idea of being transgender and makes it seem like a fake and misconstrued label

4:02 AM

Aww

4:02 AM

Thx

jvles

It completely demoralizes the idea of being transgender and makes it seem like a fake and misconstrued label

EXACTLY

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Thanks pookie

Soaring :3

Yeah but cis is the correct term "real" is an innately transphobic phrasing

i didnt see it as demoralizing just take it however youd like

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Genderfluud

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

I have other men sorry soaring

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Bro cant use context clues

4:03 AM

Your gender is fluid

Whoops I spelled it wrong lol

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Im ok

i feel like the lines of what is transphobic or not have been blurred by people

I agree

4:04 AM

Which is bad

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Genderfluid-basically I'm not always the same gender

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Yes

Fr

I can be poured into a cup and drank

Julian

i feel like the lines of what is transphobic or not have been blurred by people

thats because people dont see it as a white or black line. morality is not a white and black line

Im also genderfluid

Soaring :3

Yes

Also assuming my pronouns again

Aww

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Yeah?

Soaring :3

Also assuming my pronouns again

Wait I replied to the wrong message

No

They can't

Unless they get surgery

4:05 AM

It may be possible

4:05 AM

Idk

4:05 AM

Anythin can happen

4:05 AM

Actually we are

jvles

Unless they get surgery

I don't think we have advanced enough surgery to do that

4:06 AM

Cause human growing is pretty complex

Uterus transplants have been performed, though i dont believe they are able to successfully be fertilized yet

jvles

Actually we are

maybe but if we do its so dangerous and untested that why even go through with it quickly

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

You can date a trans dude???

jvles

Uterus transplants have been performed, though i dont believe they are able to successfully be fertilized yet

Yeah, you can get a vagina but you can't get bio babies

K

4:07 AM

Bros scared of pussy

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

You mean AMAB people then

jvles

Bros scared of pussy

penis better

bipolar clearly

Ev

penis better

Truth

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Assigned male at birth

Look how mad you’re gettin

4:08 AM

How insecure you are

4:08 AM

He just keeps goin jesus christ

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Yeah but saying bio man is kinda calling trans women men even if that's not your intent

Bro lasts longer fighting a brick wall than he does in bed

4:09 AM

Im actually not real

Awww

4:09 AM

Hes scared of sex!!

4:09 AM

Boo!

jvles

Im actually not real

REAL (same though)

jvles

Bros scared of pussy

Want to die?

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Good luck!

4:11 AM

K

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

no thats valid

4:11 AM

But some things

Jvles want to be timed out?

What why

4:12 AM

Pookie nooooo

Bc sexual talk

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Calling a woman a bio man is still calling them a man, even if you don't mean to be, so saying AMAB is how you can talk about trans women and nonbinary people's genitals without being low-key transphobic (edited)

Can yall also bring this into either debate or dms

No ill stop idgaf

Soaring :3

Calling a woman a bio man is still calling them a man, even if you don't mean to be, so saying AMAB is how you can talk about trans women and nonbinary people's genitals without being low-key transphobic (edited)

so amab is the same thing as having the sex male

Ev

so amab is the same thing as having the sex male

Yeah

Yea

Artasin :3

Can yall also bring this into either debate or dms

Yeah sure

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

amab is XY chromosome

this is frickin wild

Witnessed an argumwnt of the ages

I want to not have my right eye

6:55 AM

It shouldn't be there

6:55 AM

But it is

6:55 AM

And there's nothing I can do

6:57 AM

Why am I in a bunk bed? I don't share a room with anyone

6:57 AM

I want to be my definition of the epitome of perfection

6:58 AM

But I'm not

6:58 AM

Nowhere close actually

6:59 AM

Instead I'm in a bunk bed wanting a thing I can't have

6:59 AM

Why?

7:00 AM

All by myself except surrounded by people

7:02 AM

At least I have my hair and my friends

7:03 AM

At least people aren't trying to kill me

7:03 AM

At least I'm okay

YOU ALL DOUBTED ME

niiice

Yes

7:01 PM

So excited

7:01 PM

I love him sm

Fr fr

9:17 PM

So they're dating now?

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Idc

Yeah

9:22 PM

I was just like that, up until 2 weeks ago

9:29 PM

Yepp

nolan

YOU ALL DOUBTED ME

Congratulations!

nolan

YOU ALL DOUBTED ME

Did we doubt you?

why am i cryin when i should be happy?

10:03 PM

^my "grandfather"whos just a POS mentally and physically beat me a lot as a kid and to this day treats me like complete shit and tells me ill never make it anywhere in life and that hes the only reason for blah blah blah you get the picture. hes decided today that "enough is enough" and hes going to kick me out this week.

10:04 PM

if anything its a win on my part tbh i dont have to deal with it anymore

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Did we doubt you?

Some did yes

I’m kinda lonely right now. I recently broke up with my bf. Not because it was anything bad. It was a big age gap. So I was uncomfortable. However, now I’m single and the loneliness has came back. You see, I just don’t want a bf/gf for comfort. I want a bf/gf because when I’m in the real world, I need someone with me because I don’t trust myself to be alone because of my depression and anxiety. I need someone to make me feel loved.

Damn.

You dont need a very old boyfriend to avoid feeling lonely you most likely just need friends

I cannot. Our age gap is too big. :<

JanotLeLapin

You dont need a very old boyfriend to avoid feeling lonely you most likely just need friends

Yeah!

Its pretty dangerous to date older guys on the internet especially when youre this vulnerable

I'm single rn, but i'm not lonely cuz atleast i got some friends.

1

JanotLeLapin

Its pretty dangerous to date older guys on the internet especially when youre this vulnerable

Agree

JanotLeLapin

You dont need a very old boyfriend to avoid feeling lonely you most likely just need friends

But like.. cuddles and kisses are like.. well a couple thing..

@JanotLeLapin why did you react to my message

Bubby

But like.. cuddles and kisses are like.. well a couple thing..

I don't think.

Yeah I usually cuddle and kiss ironically with my friends

Deleted User

@JanotLeLapin why did you react to my message

It felt funny

11:15 PM

To click

JanotLeLapin

Yeah I usually cuddle and kiss ironically with my friends

I do it unironically with friends.

On the emojis

You're not funni

Deleted User

I do it unironically with friends.

Yeah but youre gay af

Deleted User

You're not funni

JanotLeLapin

Yeah but youre gay af

Im not gay

Deleted User

I'm single rn, but i'm not lonely cuz atleast i got some friends.

fr

Im bisexual

Sounds pretty gay to me

Stop calling me gay, cuz i ain't gay!!!

Gay is an umbrella term

11:16 PM

Also

Legit nobody cares

Deleted User

Stop calling me gay, cuz i ain't gay!!!

what if i call you confused instead?

hey yo

what if i call you confused instead?

Bro what

you said you were bi

11:16 PM

funny joke

Better to have good friends then a relationship most of us are young here and have our whole lives ahead of us plenty of time for a relationship so best make good friends as apposé to putting everything into attempting to get a partner

true

Friends are forever partners can be temporary

partners can be forever

11:18 PM

just rare

nolan

YOU ALL DOUBTED ME

Congrats!

That’s why I said can

Thank you

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Friends are forever partners can be temporary

Friends are temporary partners are temporary

Stop being so nihilistic good friends is what I was referring to

Oh, yeah i agree then

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Better to have good friends then a relationship most of us are young here and have our whole lives ahead of us plenty of time for a relationship so best make good friends as apposé to putting everything into attempting to get a partner

Words of pure wisdom

Truer words couldn't be spoken

good friends are forever

Yep

y’all seem like friendly people

I'm trying to be as friendly as i can

11:42 PM

I don't know if i'm doing a good job tho.

My antidepressants feel like they aren't working anymore, honestly, I'm not sure if they ever worked. I have constant pounding headaches and sleep all day. Sometimes I feel as though the world around me is a false reality. I see things and people that aren't actually there and I'm constantly thinking about harming myself in various ways. I feel like I exist to only people who know of my presence, but who is the real me? Sometimes I feel like I blacked out and I have no memories of the previous hours, like my body just goes on auto pilot while my mind shuts down, the days are looping, everything is the same but increasingly worse.

5:27 AM

How do I fix myself?

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

STOP

5:59 AM

IT HURTS

Soaring :3

STOP

No

️

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Couldnt

‍♂️

I feel like my bf doesn’t even love me

Yup

11:07 PM

He loves me

Fuck you

Help me find a bf

✨Dani✨

Help me find a bf

good luck

Thx

The disassociation is becoming infinitely worse.

I'm so young (not saying how young but under 18) and I feel like I can't do anything at all. Everything and anything I want is so far out of reach and there's nothing I can do except wait. That's my whole life. Waiting. And waiting. And just more waiting. When will the waiting stop? When will something happen that matters more beyond a laugh or a smile? Why can't anything change?

Soaring :3

I'm so young (not saying how young but under 18) and I feel like I can't do anything at all. Everything and anything I want is so far out of reach and there's nothing I can do except wait. That's my whole life. Waiting. And waiting. And just more waiting. When will the waiting stop? When will something happen that matters more beyond a laugh or a smile? Why can't anything change?

The waiting doesnt stop, never will, there will always be times that what you want is out of reach, so always live in the moment do what you can right now and maybe just maybe what your waiting for will come quicker than expected

Thanks that helps a little

In school, take all the opportunities that you can and if you want, a college will notice you and make your life way easier

Sorry that I caused a ruckus in general.

I think my bfs gonna break up with me soon

Damn.

Yea

4:55 AM

He js doesn’t act affectionate

4:55 AM

And he sometimes doesn’t even say ily back

I feel so bad for my man cos I’m always asleep or busy when he’s awake

12:27 PM

Soaring :3

I'm so young (not saying how young but under 18) and I feel like I can't do anything at all. Everything and anything I want is so far out of reach and there's nothing I can do except wait. That's my whole life. Waiting. And waiting. And just more waiting. When will the waiting stop? When will something happen that matters more beyond a laugh or a smile? Why can't anything change?

Im that but just cuz my parents would never let me wear a skirt, crop top, thigh highs, or a collar, or all of them

i have all of them and they dont even know

i don’t have any of them

azl

i have all of them and they dont even know

What kind of home were u raised in Christian Or no religionyall dont rly do much

melted cheese

What kind of home were u raised in Christian Or no religionyall dont rly do much

my home isnt really religious, only my mother is muslim but she never wanted me to become one (edited)

10:02 PM

they have no idea that i crossdress in my room, they dont even know that im pan, they just think im straight

10:02 PM

my mother wouldnt even mind if i became trans, i asked her my father would care a bit more

azl

my home isnt really religious, only my mother is muslim but she never wanted me to become one (edited)

Yeah in a religous home i cant order my own stuff and i cant rly do much

as i said, they have no idea i have women clothings home

10:15 PM

they are hidden in my room

Lucky

i just order my stuff to amazon lockers or relay pickups

^^^

Smart

#1 tip

10:17 PM

Amazon lockers are a great resource

Thing is i dont even think my mom trusts me leaving the house on my own anywhere

and when i cant i order to amazon lockers, they never opened something that is mine

melted cheese

Thing is i dont even think my mom trusts me leaving the house on my own anywhere

Make up a bullshit excuse

they just say "we got a package for you"

10:18 PM

i just get them after i went school

10:18 PM

or say im going to meet friends

Figure out your local amazon locker first

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Make up a bullshit excuse

So being raised in a christian home means im kinda a goody 2 shoes

i mean they dont mind if i leave, i just say im going to ride my motorcycle a bit

So lying is rly hard

I can’t help with that

Ok

That’s a mental block you need to overcome

I dont knwo if i wanna overcome it

Can’t do anything in life without a coupe white lies

btw how old are you?

Me?

yeah

In my bio

ehh

10:20 PM

i dont see

Freshman

Yeah

i have no idea what this means

So like 13-14 I think

15

im not a native english speaker

10:20 PM

okok

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

So like 13-14 I think

8th grade or middle school

well yeah, its much harder at this age to leave the house whenever you want

10:21 PM

im 17 so they dont mind, but when i was younger, i couldnt really leave whenever i wanted

Yeah

First figure out the closest locker

10:22 PM

So you can plot a route

Not far away for car but i no drive

the first question is: can he buy on amazon?

True my b

i mean if you dont have a credit card, you can always use giftcards

My p4r3nts r3gul4t3 my m0n3y

Soaring :3

My p4r3nts r3gul4t3 my m0n3y

just say you ate something outside

N0 th3y c4n s33 3x4ctly wh4t 1 purch4s3 (edited)

when i spend money on things i dont want them to know, i withdraw the money

Draw money out

Unable to by on amazon

Hmmmm

Draw money out buy gift cards

yeah

Y34h 1 n33d c4sh 4nyw4y

Ino have credit card that i have control over

true

also figure out where you’ll hide the stuff if your parents tend to snoop

N0w 1 just g0tt4 l1k3 f1nd 4 w4y t0 g3t pl4c3s (edited)

i get the struggle you guys have, i purchased my stuff pretty recently

10:26 PM

and whenever i come back home and see that smth in my room has slightly moved, i panic (edited)

Y34h th4t's pr3tty sc4ry

I dont plan on getting stuff anytime soon maybe when im at the age where they have less control of me like 17bor 18

if i only had clothes, they would be shocked but its alright, the thing is, i have more than clothes..

10:28 PM

they would see me way differently

10:28 PM

if they ever find out, it will be so cringe

Thats why i plan until i move out for dorm or apartment or somthing where i live by myself or with a friend

my loneliness is becoming unbearable

Hai wanna be friends

azl

if they ever find out, it will be so cringe

mood

Eschatonic<9393

my loneliness is becoming unbearable

same, currently drowning in my tears. Life isn’t the same since I realized how lonely I am. (edited)

I can be everyone's friend :3

azl

same, currently drowning in my tears. Life isn’t the same since I realized how lonely I am. (edited)

same

i don’t even know why I’m being like this, I have some friends, but never had a single relationship in seventeen years, i just feel so lonely, so empty, Im slowly losing my mind everyday.

11:27 PM

giving hints to my parents and friends but no1 seem to really care

melted cheese

Hai wanna be friends

Sooo...

i just need physical presence.

11:28 PM

that’s my issue

11:29 PM

not even a damn hug in 17years ffs

azl

i don’t even know why I’m being like this, I have some friends, but never had a single relationship in seventeen years, i just feel so lonely, so empty, Im slowly losing my mind everyday.

I know exactly how that feels

11:29 PM

I am completely alone in my life

11:31 PM

I haven't lived normally What feels like years ever since i near went insane in 2022 (edited)

11:32 PM

time goes too quick or too slow

I’m pretty sure me and my bf won’t be together to much longer

5:58 AM

He’s goin through stuff rn and even tho I tell him I’m there for him he js brushes it off

5:58 AM

And apparently it’s so much he can’t even say I love you

Do u know each other irl?

Nope

Oh ok

Yeah

Well good luck

6:00 AM

Are yall sexual at all

6:01 AM

Nvm ignore that last bit

melted cheese

Are yall sexual at all

Ban

/j right?

6:05 AM

Right??

Sry sry

6:05 AM

Fukin intrusive thoughts

I know the feeling

6:09 AM

Just like join it and ask around a little and people will probs join or something

Soaring :3

Just like join it and ask around a little and people will probs join or something

maybe l8tr in a call rn

I mean I can't join I gotta sleep+reasons lol

Soaring :3

I mean I can't join I gotta sleep+reasons lol

i meant to reply to miroslav lol

Oh

melted cheese

Are yall sexual at all

No

6:23 AM

Tbh I was thinking ab it in the shower, what if I js break up w him

6:23 AM

But at the same time I love him

nolan

But at the same time I love him

Then why would you break up with him?

Idfk

6:25 AM

It’s so confusing

If you love someone shouldn't that be like the last thing going through your mind

6:25 AM

I just read above

6:25 AM

Yeah ngm

6:25 AM

Nvm*

6:26 AM

Might not be that good of a thing if he cant make time for you

Yea..

Have you talked to him abt it

Tried

What he say?

I can’t remember but he js was a dick Ab it

6:27 AM

I said “I feel like your js gonna break up with me for no reason” and he said “wtf I wouldn’t”

Doesnt sound like hes being a dick just sounds like hes more concerned than anything

Ig (edited)

6:29 AM

But he can’t even say I love you

6:29 AM

It’s like he forgets

Then mention something about it but not in a rude way, be like "ive noticed you not saying 'i love you' back, im wondering if everything is okay" but in your own words bc it would seem more genuine

Also I js came out to my ex

Artasin :3

Then mention something about it but not in a rude way, be like "ive noticed you not saying 'i love you' back, im wondering if everything is okay" but in your own words bc it would seem more genuine

Tried

What he say when you mention that

He left me on sent

Oh

6:32 AM

Im sorry to say man but that sounds like hes just lost interest

Yup

Or there is someone else diverting that interest

Idk

6:33 AM

He doesn’t have a lot of friends

Neither did my ex but thats what happened

Oh

6:34 AM

I think i might honestly js break up w him

Probably best

Kk

When you do though dont be rude about it please even if he is rude

6:36 AM

Its just better in the long run

Cuz I’m a very strong lover and a major turn off for me is not showing the same amount of love

Artasin :3

When you do though dont be rude about it please even if he is rude

Yeah ik

6:39 AM

I’m gonna break up w him

6:39 AM

But in the nicest way possible

nolan

But in the nicest way possible

Make sure to get ur point across

9:22 AM

Don’t leave any room for negotiation

Idk if I will

2:31 PM

But he did ignore me when I asked why he didn’t say I love you back

Well dating is terrible for me

10:42 PM

Because of the two day relationship I had with my gf

10:42 PM

On 23rd Oct she left me

10:43 PM

It’s the worst thing happened in October for me

Rip

Or the worst thing happened in this year

10:43 PM

Then

10:43 PM

5 friends left me

10:44 PM

Now I’m at the point where I have no friends

10:44 PM

Yay

Yeah I just hate life basically

10:59 PM

Nothing interesting

Yeah since I lost everything, I’m just isolating myself

11:48 PM

I’m thinking this should be a permanent change in my life

11:48 PM

Isolation

It's up to you I guess

11:49 PM

But isolation kinda sucks after a bit

It does

Yeah but nobody cares about me sooo

‍♂️

11:52 PM

Isolation is going to be permanent btw

11:52 PM

That’s means my lifetime

People care about you no matter what you do

Never true never was

Even isolation is still gonna have someone care about you even if you can't see it

Well isolated means cut off from everyone

11:54 PM

That’s a change going to happen after my birthday

If you want I guess, gonna be kinda hard to avoid all human interaction though

Well I have to find plans

11:55 PM

Plan 1 and X and are plans

True isolation is really hard to achieve though

However they involve harming yourself

Uh don't do that

Plan 1 was overdose

11:56 PM

Plan X is gun

Definitely don't do either of those

Plan Z is in the makings

11:56 PM

Because it’s better for everyone

Cause that isn't isolation that's just death

Yeah but at least I will finally be alone

And if plan Z involves you not getting hurt do that one

Deleted User

Yeah but at least I will finally be alone

You won't be able to experience being alone though

Blackness?

11:57 PM

I rather be in blackness

You wouldn't experience that, you don't keep your senses after death

11:57 PM

You just die

Yeah it’s better for everyone

11:58 PM

Everyone will be so happy

Not really

11:58 PM

That's not gonna happen

11:58 PM

The people that do care about you would be devastated, and everyone else would shrug it off

11:59 PM

It wouldn't make any meaningful change

Deleted User

Plan 1 was overdose

half pf the time u dont even succeed when u try and od and then depending on where u live hou are FORCED to stay in a hospital/psychiatric hospital until you're "safe" to urself or others. its extremely traumatic and it doesnt help you as much as talking to someone will. trust me dying doesnt solve problems it just dtarts suffering for others talking to a psychiatrist would greatly benefit you if youre truly contemplating attempting

▄︻デ═══━一

half pf the time u dont even succeed when u try and od and then depending on where u live hou are FORCED to stay in a hospital/psychiatric hospital until you're "safe" to urself or others. its extremely traumatic and it doesnt help you as much as talking to someone will. trust me dying doesnt solve problems it just dtarts suffering for others talking to a psychiatrist would greatly benefit you if youre truly contemplating attempting

Yeah my brother od and he failed and he was in the psych ward at the hospital for like a week and a half and it sucked for him

Well I can’t find happiness

12:03 AM

And plus you have to take medication when you consult a psychiatrist or something

u dont have to

12:03 AM

theyre just able to perscribe medication

Deleted User

And plus you have to take medication when you consult a psychiatrist or something

Yeah it doesn't happen without your permission

u can talk to a councilor or a therapist

My 5 days ago therapist left me

So if you don't wanna take meds you don't take meds unless it's really bad

I took therapy for a bit on discord and he left me

no i mean a real therapist

12:05 AM

someone who can actually help u

Most of the time therapy doesn’t help

not if u dont want to change u need to out in the effort

12:07 AM

i said the same thing and thrn i still tried and noe im better

12:07 AM

im nit perfect i definitely still need help but im better and im still getting better thats the point

12:07 AM

u just have to keeo making an effort

Deleted User

Most of the time therapy doesn’t help

It does, you just gotta try with a real therapist, not someone on discord

12:07 AM

Plus that was one person

One person…

12:08 AM

Did you heard that 5 people left me?

12:08 AM

This month

people come snd go

12:08 AM

if they dint stay theyre nit worth it

Yeah they're just like not good people for you

Well I can’t find real friends

12:09 AM

I would try

12:09 AM

But it always fail

How exactly are you trying? (Also why are you getting advice from randos on discord??)

Yes

Deleted User

Well I can’t find real friends

you're 13. you have do many years ahead of you 20 years from now youll completely forget sbout this

I probably be a drug addict and alcoholic

ok

Oh my gosh so? That's still something

u can control doing drugs or not doing them

12:12 AM

i refuse to do some shut bc i feel like ill get addicted because i know i have an addictive personality and i dont want to get addicted to shit

I want to get addicted to happiness

12:15 AM

So vaping seems fun

LMAO

12:15 AM

vaping doesnt make u happy

Because I tried it once and ooooooo it feels good

ok im not trying with this no more this id like my biggest pet peeve lowkey

Vaping is retarded

ive wuit vaping like 6 tomes its so not worth it

12:18 AM

do not start

Nicotine and other chemicals especially the small doses of psychoactive ones in vapes are short doses of happiness

12:18 AM

Thing is with short doses is it makes the time off so much fucking worse

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Nicotine and other chemicals especially the small doses of psychoactive ones in vapes are short doses of happiness

its not happiness

Don’t vape don’t do drugs don’t smoke

u geta headrush it makes u feel dizzy

Smoking seems fun

▄︻デ═══━一

its not happiness

Happiness is wrong word more like placebo

▄︻デ═══━一

u geta headrush it makes u feel dizzy

Just run in circles bro

12:19 AM

Lol

that feels nice but literally youll be vaping gor like a week snd you wont get a headrush anymore

Look I could never get happiness

Yeah my b described it wrong

So I have to find ways

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Happiness is wrong word more like placebo

yes

Deleted User

So I have to find ways

Drugs is not the way to go

Deleted User

Look I could never get happiness

not withought trying

12:19 AM

ur not trying

Placebo is the strongest drug of all

Artasin :3

Drugs is not the way to go

THIS

12:20 AM

i really eish i wouldve listening when i was ur age

12:20 AM

like seriously

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Placebo is the strongest drug of all

Believing something into somewhat reality is scary is fuck

My friend was like one of the smartest kids in school then he got on weed and is failing all his classes

12:20 AM

Dont even try it

Well idk what’s better isolation or drugs

Deleted User

Well idk what’s better isolation or drugs

Neither

GET

12:20 AM

HELP

Permanent isolation or drugs

GET HELP

^^^

Idk what’s better

ur refusing

Why would you want isolation

No friends

Artasin :3

Why would you want isolation

seems like attention atp

Humans are social creatures

hes refusing to take any advice

▄︻デ═══━一

seems like attention atp

It is very much that

Help doesn’t help

Bullshit

12:21 AM

You just havent tried

That’s horseshit

12:22 AM

It isn’t help if it doesn’t help

If you have tried you would know for a fact what you just said is stupid

Man I don’t know what you want from us you’re so resistant

Deleted User

Help doesn’t help

why did help help me then

This is because of the way you’re acting the reason why help doesn’t help you

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

This is because of the way you’re acting the reason why help doesn’t help you

!!

Because it isn’t able to because you aren’t fucking letting it

Look everyone is better than me

That’s a lie

They get elite services like help

shut up

12:24 AM

actually

Dude get a therapist

i had to wait 2 years

12:24 AM

TWO WHOLE YEARS

12:24 AM

but i wanted to get better

^^^

Deleted User

They get elite services like help

You do realise that "help" isnt some shit that only rich people get like yhats

YOU LITERALLY ARENT FUCKING TRYING WHAT DO YOU WANT MAN

12:24 AM

dude

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

YOU LITERALLY ARENT FUCKING TRYING WHAT DO YOU WANT MAN

↑↑↑↑↑↑

My family is broke as fuck like homeless broke and they could still get professional help

same

This isn’t a social class thing

i have to pay for my own food and bills

12:25 AM

im 15

12:25 AM

i know what being poor is like and im still getting help

12:25 AM

there is no excuse

The only reason why I’m not dead on the side of the street is council housing

12:25 AM

Because me and my mother are both a bit cuckoo

12:26 AM

Even then we can barely afford to live

im lucky my mom gets odsp and we live in low income housing but like rent is still pricy (bc canada) and we can barely sfford anything

But

she

could

still

get

therapy

▄︻デ═══━一

im lucky my mom gets odsp and we live in low income housing but like rent is still pricy (bc canada) and we can barely sfford anything

Yeah that’s basically council housing here

12:27 AM

Bro is the guy even here anymore lmfao

See

12:27 AM

People just making fun of me

were nit mkaing fun of u

No it’s because we’re trying to help

were helping u and ur refusing to sccept it

And you’re being resistant

12:27 AM

That’s not making fun of you

You said Lmafo

its crazy how me and alex are typing the EXACT same thing rn

Deleted User

People just making fun of me

If you want i can start making fun of you

Deleted User

You said Lmafo

bc we thought u left

Artasin :3

If you want i can start making fun of you

facts

12:28 AM

i csn be a bitch

Because multiple people are typing out long bits of text to help you

12:28 AM

And you’re not replying or acknowledging it

12:28 AM

So it’s fair to assume you’ve left

12:29 AM

Which would be ironic

Right

Fuck

12:29 AM

Wrong thing

IM CRYING THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME

Fr

12:31 AM

I’m gonna do a magset so cringe alert

12:32 AM

Marshall would you want to be dramatic noises play friends >w< OwO UwU :3 :3 :3 pwease

12:32 AM

I’m sorry I can’t take myself seriously

lol

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Marshall would you want to be dramatic noises play friends >w< OwO UwU :3 :3 :3 pwease

lmao sure

I’m very sad and exhausted right now..

Why :[

Hi y’all

2:58 AM

It’s kinda dry in here….

Kenny._.twd

It’s kinda dry in here….

Dawg its the mf vent channel ofc its gonna be dry

lol

5:57 AM

i would be a bit concerned if it wasn't

Kenny._.twd

It’s kinda dry in here….

Like a desert up in here

Not usually boycrying

So anyways my dad used to beat me with his belt on a daily basis, And not gonna lie. I'm pretty glad he did

Soaring :3

Not usually boycrying

that's kinda sad tbh

(edited)

I was a cunt

Oh damn that sucks

Nah it doesn't suck

1

5:58 AM

It's good

1

I’m sorry but the skull emoji belongs here

1

sry bout that man

1

nolan

I’m sorry but the skull emoji belongs here

It does

i wish I could leave this stupid household, stupid mother and alcoholic father

(fastest way to leave the household is by grabbing the car keys and driving into a cliff)

Rip

azl

i wish I could leave this stupid household, stupid mother and alcoholic father

(fastest way to leave the household is by grabbing the car keys and driving into a cliff)

Hang in there

Panic atck

What’s goin on bro

Step dad

1:44 AM

Mom

1:44 AM

Mad

Oh

I'm sick

I’m sorry

Told me to turn off phone and computer

1:44 AM

Spiraling down different convos to not have

1:44 AM

Panoc atack

SugarSky

Told me to turn off phone and computer

Why?

Not make brownies

1:45 AM

Cuz i no want covid with brownies

1:45 AM

Shaky

1:45 AM

Hyperventilate

1:46 AM

Nd just too much stress

1:46 AM

Nd also ptsd from step dad hitting me multiple times

1:46 AM

Drunk and not drunk

SugarSky

Nd also ptsd from step dad hitting me multiple times

This end all the ways i spiral when it him

ugh i need a bf

Same

Real

I have someone in mind rn

3:52 AM

He’s in this server

we all know its the guy u met 3 days ago fella

But we don’t know eachother well yet soo..

u aint slick ‼️

Bro what

But yeah I jus really love him but feel like he’s loosing interest and idk what to do

5:57 AM

@nolan

Huh

Continuation from general

Can’t stop thinking of my bf

6:47 AM

Getting sad

I’m sorry pookie

that gut wrenching feeling when you realize they don't care as much as they used to

10:06 PM

Hi

yall fr the first ppl i meet off a server to act not ghost me

10:19 PM

w

i feel like my family is dysfunctional as fuck, and what is happening in the car right now proves it. my sister struck my uncle in the face like it was fucking normal, and everybody in the car is screaming at each other for no reason at all. we have my little brother being hostile as fuck over a simple piece of name-calling, and a sister trying to beat the shit out of another sister for telling her not to put her feet up on the headrest as it poses a fucking health hazard. fml

every little thing i do annoys my step dad. if i stay in my room to stop myself from causing arguments with everyone, he gets mad anyways. i forget something he asked me to do 3 hours ago, he gets mad. he had to prevent himself TWICE in the last 24 hours to hurt me in some way

he also took my sisters phone for not being able to take a joke

1:56 AM

a very racist joke at that

thats fucked up

i got a happy ashort vent

3:30 AM

i havent been ghosted at all

3:30 AM

im so happy rn

i just broke my ankle nd i have no fucking insurance or residence im absolutely fucked, i cant take this shit anymore i just wana die i hate life so much

i dunno if this broken tho could be a sprain

Let’s hope it’s a sprain

Ninjaparkour

Let’s hope it’s a sprain

it is a sprain \o/ alhamdullilah

That’s good

7:09 PM

Hope it heals soon

dude it hurt worse than breaking that same ankle

7:11 PM

i dont know why it was so painful

7:11 PM

im now on opiates tho so i mgood !!

Julian

i feel like my family is dysfunctional as fuck, and what is happening in the car right now proves it. my sister struck my uncle in the face like it was fucking normal, and everybody in the car is screaming at each other for no reason at all. we have my little brother being hostile as fuck over a simple piece of name-calling, and a sister trying to beat the shit out of another sister for telling her not to put her feet up on the headrest as it poses a fucking health hazard. fml

Im right there with you One of my sisters controls the family Sure its not as violent its more like psychological than physical and when it is physical its more bad She cusses at our parentz and never learns her lesson(my dad snapped her ipad in half and she still talks shit abt everyone in the family) and what sucks is Just for reference my sisters are 11 How bout yours

Omfg that’s awful bro

nolan

Omfg that’s awful bro

Trust me it is I blame tik tok

christmas went off to a fucking great start. i fucking woke up to my sister punching my little brother square in the nose all because she lost her phone. we told her that christmas is supposed to be a happy day, not a day full of hostility and hate. but she didn’t give a shit and chose complete violence. what the fuck is wrong with my family istg

I'm going to harvest her soul

Same shit w me. I opened the door and my stepmoms stocking spilt onto the ground and my little sister started yelling at me. Then here we opened all the presents and my brother was bein an ass to my little sister and it was js a whole lot.

what is it with christmas and everyone being assholes?

3:25 PM

i dont get it

Me either

its bullshit

Fr

3:41 PM

My step sister got mad at me bc she got a ps4 and her brother is making her account and all I said is “you have to make a password” and she said “well I use the same password so it’s not that big of a deal” but in a rly rude way

bruhhhh

Julian

christmas went off to a fucking great start. i fucking woke up to my sister punching my little brother square in the nose all because she lost her phone. we told her that christmas is supposed to be a happy day, not a day full of hostility and hate. but she didn’t give a shit and chose complete violence. what the fuck is wrong with my family istg

Dude my sister got an apple watch and threw a tantrum cuz she didnt get 1000$ worth of sephora

nolan

My step sister got mad at me bc she got a ps4 and her brother is making her account and all I said is “you have to make a password” and she said “well I use the same password so it’s not that big of a deal” but in a rly rude way

Bruh Like what dude

Julian

christmas went off to a fucking great start. i fucking woke up to my sister punching my little brother square in the nose all because she lost her phone. we told her that christmas is supposed to be a happy day, not a day full of hostility and hate. but she didn’t give a shit and chose complete violence. what the fuck is wrong with my family istg

Btw how old are your siblings compared to your age

melted cheese

Dude my sister got an apple watch and threw a tantrum cuz she didnt get 1000$ worth of sephora

was she complaining about nit getting sny drunk elephant products?

▄︻デ═══━一

was she complaining about nit getting sny drunk elephant products?

Im not a fasion tik tok person so likely idk But not from what i heard

5:31 PM

I didnt hear much

melted cheese

Btw how old are your siblings compared to your age

all my siblings are 10 years old or older

Or see what shee got

Julian

all my siblings are 10 years old or older

Ah Yeah my sisters are both 11 or something I still blame tik tok

melted cheese

Im not a fasion tik tok person so likely idk But not from what i heard

good bc but dtill what s brat tbh sorry u have to desl woth her

▄︻デ═══━一

good bc but dtill what s brat tbh sorry u have to desl woth her

Im having an stroke cuz i can just barely understand what you are saying

LMAOO

5:33 PM

same

melted cheese

Im having an stroke cuz i can just barely understand what you are saying

good but still what a brat to be honest im sorry you have to deal with her

5:33 PM

I DID IT

5:34 PM

omg i typed a coherent sentance

▄︻デ═══━一

good but still what a brat to be honest im sorry you have to deal with her

English aquired

frrr

Well my sister just made my mum cry cuz she didnt set up her data plan in like 5 mibutes and other details

wtf

Benadryl

wtf

Its becoming a normal occurence

She a bitch

your sister sucks

Julian

your sister sucks

She rly does <=/

how do u tell if someone actually likes you

You can't

yeah

5:18 AM

never gotten more mixed signals in my life

Yeah

5:18 AM

I can't tell if my friend group hates me or thinks I'm their friend right now

Soaring :3

I can't tell if my friend group hates me or thinks I'm their friend right now

Why not

Well

5:19 AM

They did like a vote thing

5:19 AM

To eject me from the group

5:19 AM

But it never actually happened

5:19 AM

And they didn't take it seriously

If they have to have a vote i dont think thats a good thing

Some of them think I'm weird

5:20 AM

Like creepy weird

5:20 AM

Which I'm not of course

5:20 AM

But that's probs why they made the vote thing (edited)

How many of them think your creepy

5:22 AM

Like what number out of total

Like one genuinely does

5:23 AM

And then a few of the others jokingly half believe

5:23 AM

Also there's like

5:23 AM

8 people in the group but I'm not like friends with all of them just acquaintances

do the ppl who jokingly believe think the genuine one is joking too?

I have no idea

well it sounds like it could be a kind of joke but I don't really know, do they treat you well in general?

Yeah

5:28 AM

They're cool or I wouldn't be friends with them

5:28 AM

I mean like one of the reasons I'm friends with them is cause they're actually nice unlike my old friend group

idk why i feel sad

6:15 AM

it felt like a normal day

6:16 AM

i didnt go to bed w excitement

6:16 AM

so idk christmas isnt the same since 2020

idk if my bf loves me anymore

Why not?

idk I feel like he's getting distant

6:40 AM

Like he doesn't text me like he used to

6:40 AM

it also feels like he doesn't appreciate anything I do for him

6:40 AM

But at the same time I think it's me selfishly overthinking

6:41 AM

Because I know he also has issues with mental health and that can also affect the way you act

Sorry completely off topic but your username is similar to my irl name

Some days he's fine but other days it's like he wants me to go away so isk

Soaring :3

Sorry completely off topic but your username is similar to my irl name

oh it's okay lol what is it if you don't mind telling me?

Griffin

Oh cool lol, that's my full name

Lol

6:42 AM

That's cool

6:42 AM

Sorry for changing the topic

Nah ur good

6:48 AM

so fucking glad i broke up with my ex

6:49 AM

i might be sad rn but absolutely nothing compares to the torment she put me thru

6:55 AM

do not miss shit like this at all

6:55 AM

(it was all love bombing and manipulation)

Soaring :3

Griffin

nice name :3 (edited)

Thanks (it's kinda boring though I'm thinking about changing it)

ive never met anyone named griffin bf, its cute

Ok guys I’m gonna go love you @Soaring :3 @🐸SourByte🐸

I wanna be called Leo but my brother's boyfriend is Leo and no way

nolan

Ok guys I’m gonna go love you @Soaring :3 @🐸SourByte🐸

Love you too

7:03 AM

Sleep well

nolan

Ok guys I’m gonna go love you @Soaring :3 @🐸SourByte🐸

ilyt gnn

I will you get some sleep yall

hopefully

We'll try

🐸SourByte🐸

ive never met anyone named griffin bf, its cute

Idk it gets boring after a while (thanks though)

u wanna snuggle w someone else tho :'((

7:04 AM

horny thoughts aaa

Soaring :3

Idk it gets boring after a while (thanks though)

:DD

Idk I want someone to call me a good boy and pet my hair and kiss me but irl cause I'm tired of watching really nice people do that through text on a screen (edited)

🐸SourByte🐸

horny thoughts aaa

IM SORRY WHAT

🐸SourByte🐸

u wanna snuggle w someone else tho :'((

LMAOO

Soaring :3

Idk I want someone to call me a good boy and pet my hair and kiss me but irl cause I'm tired of watching really nice people do that through text on a screen (edited)

(Lani)

i wanna bf so bad omfg (edited)

What

"br"?

7:06 AM

Oh

sory

I was saying lani did that shit

Lani sucks

Saying he wanted to do this and that

whos lani?

That's so creeeepyyy

Yeahh

Stay away from Lani

I definitely didnt say the same stuff back

🐸SourByte🐸

whos lani?

Some odd guy he dated

oh

nolan

I definitely didnt say the same stuff back

Three thumbs up babe

🐸SourByte🐸

i wanna bf so bad omfg (edited)

Same though

wtf does that mean

The three thumbs of approval

Ok ig

(edited)

wait does it show you on your desc if your playing spotify

What

7:09 AM

If you have them synced I think??

oh ok

7:09 AM

good

I'm listening to music right now but it doesn't show up cause it's not connected to my Spotify account

They need that for Apple Music

I think I'm gonna connect my Spotify and discord though

7:10 AM

One sec

Kk

7:10 AM

I wish ppl could see my Apple Music

ok

7:10 AM

h

im so sick and tired of my family screaming at each other for stupid shit

real

so uhm he kinda yelled at me and i feel like he uhm.. scolded me? for worry spamming him (he tells me to spam him) and like i knew he'd wake up later in the day but he said either at twelve or.eleven...and its 2 rn and like.im just i feel like i upset him he says i didnt but i can tell hes mad or something and uhm idk i i.. i also think ive made someone else upset whos like our son and like because he needed my help but i was having a panic attack and i kept saying sorry to my bf while that was going on and idk i hate this day honestly i always ruin things and mess up.

9:05 PM

nothing tw but i just wanted to censor it !!!!!

we're good

"boys dont cry"

6:36 AM

is what people say

6:36 AM

wtf am i supposed to do?

6:36 AM

work out?

yes

I feel like a pig wearing lipstick

Maybe you are?

🐸SourByte🐸

"boys dont cry"

Ey look dude

9:08 AM

Boys can cry

9:08 AM

It’s part of human nature

9:08 AM

Don’t ever think your weak cuz you’ve cried

9:08 AM

Alr?

Soaring :3

Idk I want someone to call me a good boy and pet my hair and kiss me but irl cause I'm tired of watching really nice people do that through text on a screen (edited)

I get it

Benadryl

Ey look dude

im just sayin whenever i cry, everyone including my friends just laugh and say 'boys dont cry'

4:45 PM

its not right

🐸SourByte🐸

im just sayin whenever i cry, everyone including my friends just laugh and say 'boys dont cry'

that is fucked up what kinda friends r these

ones that i made a mistake of befriending

4:46 PM

looking back i was such an idiot

🐸SourByte🐸

ones that i made a mistake of befriending

how long u know them

ive known one of them for five years, but they started being nice bc they found out they were bi and made fun of bc i was ace

4:48 PM

then the rest 2 years

🐸SourByte🐸

then the rest 2 years

did they start being more mean the longer u know them?

yeaa

4:49 PM

but i saw the red flags and pushed them away

4:50 PM

bc these are my friends

4:50 PM

"why would they hurt me?"

4:50 PM

is what i thought

🐸SourByte🐸

bc these are my friends

be careful it would be best to distance yourself or remove them, a true friend would love you and hold your best interests at heart, these type of people will drag you down or hurt you when you need them the most

4:52 PM

if my friend told me that id tell them to go fuck off and die

ive made a new friend in the last year that we share interests but they always want to do the same thing every single day

4:55 PM

it always feels like they're guilt tripping me

4:55 PM

but they aren't

🐸SourByte🐸

ive made a new friend in the last year that we share interests but they always want to do the same thing every single day

what do they like to do?

just a normal routine, same jokes, same route, nothing new

4:56 PM

its starts getting boring after awhile

4:57 PM

and whenever i hangout with others they dont talk to me

🐸SourByte🐸

just a normal routine, same jokes, same route, nothing new

ya those type of ppl get pretty boring but i hope they are atleast decent

but they dress like me, like the same things, i just dont know

4:59 PM

like i wear black at my school and all the first years are like: EMMOO like bq

5:00 PM

you do not know what that means

🐸SourByte🐸

you do not know what that means

yea lol

anyways, thank you for listening and staying with all the talking

🐸SourByte🐸

anyways, thank you for listening and staying with all the talking

no problem!!!! anytime, i hope u feel better

:33

5:02 PM

owo pat @Donnie

🐸SourByte🐸 pets Donnie! There there!

🐸SourByte🐸

owo pat @Donnie

uwu :333

wtf

4:22 AM

He did not

4:22 AM

Tell someone

4:23 AM

If he’s touching you that’s weird as fuck

4:23 AM

That’s weird

4:23 AM

But isnt he autistic

4:23 AM

Not saying it’s ok for him to do that still

4:24 AM

Oh

4:24 AM

Idk what to suggest

4:25 AM

Did you talk to Mallory ab it

4:25 AM

Well let her know it’s making you rly uncomfortable

4:25 AM

No don’t do that

4:25 AM

It’s an issue and it needs to be fixed

4:26 AM

I mean yeah ig

4:26 AM

But if it gets worse tell someone

4:27 AM

Np autumn I love you too

4:27 AM

:))

I js wish I wasn’t so lonley

10:26 AM

I have a lot of friends

10:26 AM

Js not ones that live nearby

10:27 AM

It’s feels like I js constantly need to talk to someone

10:28 AM

Bc I have so much energy and it’s js all bottled up so when I don’t talk to someone I js don’t know what to do with it

10:28 AM

At least I’m crying now

if you ever need to vent to someone you can always dm me, i might not know how to comfort so well but i wont ever let anyone down even if i dont know them so much, you matter like everybody else and there are people who love you out there, youre never truly lonely !! hugs

Thanks

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

if you ever need to vent to someone you can always dm me, i might not know how to comfort so well but i wont ever let anyone down even if i dont know them so much, you matter like everybody else and there are people who love you out there, youre never truly lonely !! hugs

This is the most adorable message ive read today

1

AWWWW

3:21 PM

<33

3:22 PM

i always try my best helping people

Yeah I can see that

3:45 PM

That's a really good thing

3:45 PM

Good good good

Thank uu!

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

if you ever need to vent to someone you can always dm me, i might not know how to comfort so well but i wont ever let anyone down even if i dont know them so much, you matter like everybody else and there are people who love you out there, youre never truly lonely !! hugs

thank u c:

<333

Alright I'm gonna vent for the first time

3:59 PM

My friend is going through a break up and they're not doing good I'm afraid they might suffer from health issues

3:59 PM

It makes me worried

ah im so sorry for your friend :[ all that you can do is be there for them, reassure them that everythings gonna be okay, and just support them in any way you can <33 (edited)

Yeah I've been doing that

4:31 PM

But it doesn't help enough

4:31 PM

I feel helpless

Speaking from personal experiences, knowing you are not alone during a break up is one of the most important things

i dont know what to say to that, but you arent helpless. keep trying to be there for them, it wont 100% heal them but at least theyll know they have someone by their side!!

Griff

Speaking from personal experiences, knowing you are not alone during a break up is one of the most important things

this!! going through a break up is terrible, but at least they arent going through it alone

4:33 PM

sadly i went through a break up all alone, but i've found my people. there is always light at the end of every dark tunnel (or however the saying was i dont remember but you get my point!!)

Thank you

4:34 PM

Hearing this does reassure me

4:34 PM

of course<33 AND YAYAYA IM GLAD!! eek

imma just drop this here- i felt and still feel so god damn uncomfy today maybe nobodys noticed it because im always hiding behind this energetic and happy mask of mine with a fake smile but.. i i dont know what to do im getting some bad vibes for some reason maybe its my mind or its from trauma and stuff

4:51 PM

. i feel like a coward.

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

. i feel like a coward.

why do u feel like a coward ?

You can't just worry about everyone and not take care of yourself mark

4:54 PM

I believe you should drop this facade and express what you feel

4:54 PM

To someone you trust

JanotLeLapin

You can't just worry about everyone and not take care of yourself mark

this

4:55 PM

ur needs should take priority

Agreed

Donnie

why do u feel like a coward ?

for example if something or someone bothers me, i simply get scared to go against them or tell them what makes me feel bad

4:56 PM

i just physically cant

JanotLeLapin

You can't just worry about everyone and not take care of yourself mark

i'm trying my best to idk just remain sane but ill always put others before me,,

You shouldn't do that

4:57 PM

You're at the center of your own life

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

for example if something or someone bothers me, i simply get scared to go against them or tell them what makes me feel bad

is it outta fear or are you afraid to hurt their feelings

JanotLeLapin

To someone you trust

i feel like i cant :(( i feel like everyones against me and that everyones trying to bother me on purpose or do bad stuff to me on purpose. i wanna say what bothers me so SO bad especially from today but it might just be my mind trying to make me go insane by thinking that everything that happens is bad. i think im just overthinking but my heart is racing rn idk why i i think im gonna panic soon it reminds me of something not long ago but i simply dont really wanna say what it is yet ill try to give it time and see jf its just me but i know i cant keep it in myself for too long

Donnie

is it outta fear or are you afraid to hurt their feelings

both actually

4:59 PM

im scared of the consequences, like im scared to make that person sad even if IM sad and im scared that theyll find a way to hurt me.

5:00 PM

when i tried to go against my ex friend group, i left them willingly and then i got stalked.

5:00 PM

thats- what i mean by consequences

5:00 PM

thats why im scared to tell people the truth if they hurt me accidentally or on purpose, im scared ill get hurt more

Would you mind telling me what happened today?

im even scared to cut people oout of my life or block them because i always feel like theyll try to find me (i mean people who use me or are mean to me, im just so scared)

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

when i tried to go against my ex friend group, i left them willingly and then i got stalked.

was it irl ?

JanotLeLapin

Would you mind telling me what happened today?

im gonna try to give it like 2 days to see if something changes i feel so sensitive for overthinking stuff like this its probably nothing but its something that made me very very uncomfortable

5:02 PM

if it gets worse ill try to find courage to talk about it fully

Donnie

was it irl ?

oh that was a few years ago online actually dw!

If something makes you uncomfortable the fact that you're being overly sensitive isn't relevant

5:02 PM

The only things that matters is that you experienced something bad

5:03 PM

And you need to stray away from it

5:03 PM

In order to avoid experiencing it again

5:03 PM

Or you speak with the ones who made you feel this way in order to find a solution

5:03 PM

That would be my way to view such a situation

JanotLeLapin

If something makes you uncomfortable the fact that you're being overly sensitive isn't relevant

its the fact that i get uncomfy from small things too, idk if i should call this small but i dont think its my fault that i get uncomfortable or sad fast, is it?:((

JanotLeLapin

Or you speak with the ones who made you feel this way in order to find a solution

i'm scared to do that too

but if it happens again i'll try that solution

5:05 PM

im just scared to get insulted for being like tthis or for something that a person does or says bothers me.. or them not stopping anf continuing to do it again to trigger me

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

its the fact that i get uncomfy from small things too, idk if i should call this small but i dont think its my fault that i get uncomfortable or sad fast, is it?:((

Whatever happens it is never your fault for having feelings mark

5:05 PM

Always remember this

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

its the fact that i get uncomfy from small things too, idk if i should call this small but i dont think its my fault that i get uncomfortable or sad fast, is it?:((

i used to feel the same way although the only thing that helped me is to honestly not give a shit, ur self interest matters most and it will be very rare for ppl to seek out some retribution especially on the internet but this is easier said than done

JanotLeLapin

Whatever happens it is never your fault for having feelings mark

this

JanotLeLapin

Whatever happens it is never your fault for having feelings mark

thank you

Donnie

i used to feel the same way although the only thing that helped me is to honestly not give a shit, ur self interest matters most and it will be very rare for ppl to seek out some retribution especially on the internet but this is easier said than done

My way of handling such situations would be to get into fights

JanotLeLapin

My way of handling such situations would be to get into fights

real af

Donnie

i used to feel the same way although the only thing that helped me is to honestly not give a shit, ur self interest matters most and it will be very rare for ppl to seek out some retribution especially on the internet but this is easier said than done

<33 i recently started not giving a fuck irl, and i feel so good everytime i go back to school, that i dont care what others think about me even if deep down it still hurts, but im being myself, im being me. but online, i take shit way too seriously when i shouldnt, i feel more vulnerable here i dont know why maybe because a lot of bad stuff happens here??

JanotLeLapin

My way of handling such situations would be to get into fights

HAHAHA I wish I was strong enough to do that

Fighting is less about being strong and more about stamina

u just have to become as angry as possible

Yeah that helps a lot

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

<33 i recently started not giving a fuck irl, and i feel so good everytime i go back to school, that i dont care what others think about me even if deep down it still hurts, but im being myself, im being me. but online, i take shit way too seriously when i shouldnt, i feel more vulnerable here i dont know why maybe because a lot of bad stuff happens here??

u should feel the opposite, there is less stake online nd ppl will attempt to hurt u more or be generally be more apathetic towards u

my way of thinking is so different and sometimes i dont even make sense,, i feel vulnerable and unsafe ALL the time, whether its online or irl, i just dont know what'll happen

Yeah that's understandable

thank you both for listening to me <33 imma go try calmy down and when i've enough courage in me i'll try to talk about it

5:12 PM

Sure take your time

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

thank you both for listening to me <33 imma go try calmy down and when i've enough courage in me i'll try to talk about it

anytime <333

Take care of yourself

okay i think i need to say it now.

5:26 PM

i cant hide it anymore

5:27 PM

i need to tell my partner too even if they arent here but i need to vent in dms if i can to someone ,,,

5:28 PM

@JanotLeLapin @Donnie could i? one of you or both but i need to say it to a member from here im just scared idk im exaggerating maybe but im very very uncomfy from today and i think i need to say it,, sorry for pings!!

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

@JanotLeLapin @Donnie could i? one of you or both but i need to say it to a member from here im just scared idk im exaggerating maybe but im very very uncomfy from today and i think i need to say it,, sorry for pings!!

im not doing anything all day im all yours king

OKAYOKAY !! THANK YOU

Yeah please tell us if that makes you feel better

5:30 PM

I'd love to help

I just busted my index finger open playing piano I can't make ts up I have a performance in a week and instead of practicing I'm now wiping blood off the keys this is so dumb

5:45 PM

It's not that bad but it's annoying bcuz now I can't play or it'll hurt alot

The exact same happened to me last year

5:45 PM

But it was right before the music test unfortunately

that's horrible omg

5:47 PM

idek what I did

5:48 PM

I must've pinched it somewhere or scraped it against the metal idfk

Griff

I just busted my index finger open playing piano I can't make ts up I have a performance in a week and instead of practicing I'm now wiping blood off the keys this is so dumb

thas fucked i hope u get better dawg

it's good js mad annoying

Whoa you got metal in your piano

5:49 PM

How

JanotLeLapin

Whoa you got metal in your piano

The pulldown cover thing

5:49 PM

Its like

5:49 PM

Metal underneath

5:49 PM

Idk how to explain it

Hold on lemme find metal in my piano

5:49 PM

I'll identify the metal

5:50 PM

Oh shit yeah there is actually metal

5:50 PM

Is copper a metal?

yea

Yeah that checks out

5:50 PM

How did that happen though like

I fr have no idea

What kind of movement made you reach le funny metal

5:51 PM

It might've not been that I could've pinched it in between 2 keys when they were coming back up or something

5:51 PM

Literally don't know what happened but I'm pissed

Yeah thats fair

its okay

5:52 PM

I can still practice left hand

steal his organs

9:24 PM

:D

9:24 PM

can I ask what happened?

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Hi Mark, I think you are not at fault. He said in the first place he will spend the rest of his time with u, but then says he forgot. I mean that's honestly not a good act from him. It's totally normal to want to spend time with your partner but I just think he just doesn't know how balance things out and what is more important. Game or partner? That should be a question for him

9:36 PM

Or even better would be if you guys played with each other. That would be fun.

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Don't overthink it, give it time. And maybe if he's still mad then try to bring his mood up. Or maybe ask what's wrong and in case apologize if necessary. That's what makes relationships

mate i promise you he isn't going anywhere don't worry about it

9:49 PM

just sit it through then he'll be there to talk to you

WE ARE OKAY!!!!!

told ya

WE APOLOGIZED BUT HE SAID ITS NEITHER OF OUR FAULTS

9:55 PM

I JUST NEVER HAD A TALK LIKE THAT BEFORE AAAAA

Yayyy! I’m happy for u

Good

That’s good it’s healthy for fights

Sorry I couldn't keep up I was busy with something else

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

WE ARE OKAY!!!!!

yaaaaaaaaay \o/

I'm happy you got it all figured out

TJANK YOU I WAS GENUINELY TERRIFIED

1

nolan

I js wish I wasn’t so lonley

hey babes. it's apparent that you've been struggling for a while, and i hope you know that i'm always here for you no matter what. you're one of the best people i've ever met, and you're such an amazing person. i'm always here if you need to talk about absolutely anything. i care so much about you and i want you to know that you're also incredibly strong, and i'm proud of you. i appreciate you so much and if i'm the one making you feel lonely, please let me know what i can do to improve on it. i love you so much and if there's anything i can do to help you not feel like this in the future, js talk to me. i love you nolan

autumn <33.

hey babes. it's apparent that you've been struggling for a while, and i hope you know that i'm always here for you no matter what. you're one of the best people i've ever met, and you're such an amazing person. i'm always here if you need to talk about absolutely anything. i care so much about you and i want you to know that you're also incredibly strong, and i'm proud of you. i appreciate you so much and if i'm the one making you feel lonely, please let me know what i can do to improve on it. i love you so much and if there's anything i can do to help you not feel like this in the future, js talk to me. i love you nolan

Thank you sm ml. And I can assure you you’re not the one making me feel like that. I love you sm.

<33

11:14 PM

anytime you need it babes. happy to help

are you two a couple

nope!! close friends :DD

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

i just ghost ppl whenever i dont wana speak to them lol

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

oooh

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

wtf ?

12:23 AM

do u tell him that uncomfortable ?

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

i mean saying things is one thing but if hes actually touchin u then thats fucked up

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

jesus

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

explain to him that u r not interested in him there is nothing mean about it i understand hes special ed but that still isnt an excuse imo

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

lol u r not

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

np <33 anytime

12:27 AM

:DD

no

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

You aren't

4:31 AM

You're funny

4:31 AM

So don't die please

Exactly

4:46 AM

Autumn your amazing

Ik this may be close to the other texts and I prefer usually having a day in between messages in channels like these but i really need this off my chest. It really hurts when I see people I care about talking bad about themselves. Like yes I get it, I of all people understand but why cant you take a compliment or at least listen to anything I'm saying. It's feels like im just being ignored, like they are ranting about how terrible they are at a wall. I'm not a very happy wall and this just makes me feel s miserable. I want to be of use to someone, anyone, to be told I matter, to be told that I've done something. A simple thank you would be nice, ya know? But nonetheless I just want people to understand that they are great and that they matter and are perfect the way they are

When someone behaves this way to me (I know I may seem like an asshole) but I just stop speaking with them

5:00 AM

I'm trying to be nice and I'm being rewarded with just feeling even worse than before

5:01 AM

So yeah I won't bother helping people who only care about themselves while simultaneously claim that they suck so much

I know and I'm tempted but I'd feel terrible just leaving them to rot by themselves, everyone deserves some type of happiness afterall, even if they try and refuse it

I won't be the one providing such happiness

It's hypocritical as you said but I just can't leave it

If I want to help someone then they'd better at least try to be cooperative about it

..yeah you're right, I'll see what I can do and what I shouldn't do

I do understand your will to help people though and it is admirable

5:04 AM

But you should prioritize yourself and your well being and your happiness

5:04 AM

Before anything else

Ik I'm really hypocritical when I say this but I do view others as more than me and I'm trying to work on it but it's still quite difficult and seeing people not being able to try is just even worse (edited)

Yeah I understand that

Thank you, I'm just glad you get what i mean

I know you can't do much about feeling so much empathy for other people but it's really unhealthy to have a bunch of people use you as a tool to put all their negative feelings into

5:11 AM

And you need to think about this!

Mistaken

Ik this may be close to the other texts and I prefer usually having a day in between messages in channels like these but i really need this off my chest. It really hurts when I see people I care about talking bad about themselves. Like yes I get it, I of all people understand but why cant you take a compliment or at least listen to anything I'm saying. It's feels like im just being ignored, like they are ranting about how terrible they are at a wall. I'm not a very happy wall and this just makes me feel s miserable. I want to be of use to someone, anyone, to be told I matter, to be told that I've done something. A simple thank you would be nice, ya know? But nonetheless I just want people to understand that they are great and that they matter and are perfect the way they are

i promise it's not your fault. a lot of people act like that, and it can definitely get annoying after a while. i completely understand where you're coming from. those people are what i call people who fish for compliments. they'll constantly fake insecurities about themselves and then ignore whenever other people make an attempt to console them. i promise none of this is your fault, and people are just annoying and incredibly self-centered sometimes. you matter. you're important, and so are your efforts. i promise. if they continue doing that, it just means that they want attention and don't actually feel bad about themselves. if you keep making an attempt and they continuously ignore you each and every time, then they don't deserve you, your friendship, your kindess, your loyalty, your time, or your efforts. they expect people to be there for them but they give nothing in return but complain. it's completely okay to feel this way, and you're not alone. it's good that you have sympathy, but they need to learn how to be humble. they're the ones at fault, not you. you're an amazing person, and i promise you matter. your efforts are seen. <33

5:15 AM

and most importantly, you are seen as well

5:15 AM

Thank you, I feel bad not being able to put much thought into a response but I am really grateful for that

5:17 AM

I'm just not sure what to do about it then

of course! i don't expect anything in return. as long as i'm able to comfort people, then that's all that matters.

Mistaken

I'm just not sure what to do about it then

how long has it been going on for?? are you friends or closer than just friends with the person (or people) who is/are doing it?

Well they've never really accepted anything I've said and I'd probably just say that we are friends

sounds like they're just using you to milk the pity and sympathy out of you. im sorry if that sounds rude, but that's just my perspective on it. how long have you been friends with this person for? do they only speak to you whenever they need or want something from you? do you feel used or like a backup friend?

5:22 AM

you may be in a beneficial or one-sided friendship with this person if you answered yes to one or more of the questions that i listed

I think 3 weeks now? We usually trade off starting conversations but for about a week they just kinda didn't message me and lately their responses have been meh

5:23 AM

And for your last question idk, I just feel ignored

im sorry to say this but it sounds like they're only using you to hear what they wanna hear, and then scrapping the rest of it as if it were rubbish. if you feel ignored, it may be a very big sign of a toxic friendship. if they've been dry after ignoring you, then that's also a red flag. it seems they only get what they want and leave. very cowardly and immature, i must say

Yeah and then they were weirdly sexual towards me yesterday after I explicitly told them I'm uncomfortable with it

5:31 AM

I think I understand what I should do about it

if you think that it's a good idea to start distancing yourself from them or drop the friendship as a whole, then do what you believe is right. i'm not the one to make decisions for you

Mistaken

Yeah and then they were weirdly sexual towards me yesterday after I explicitly told them I'm uncomfortable with it

that's odd. very odd. was it verbal or physical?

5:32 AM

if you feel comfortable sharing, that is

Over text they acted towards me, over call I stated that to them

5:33 AM

Oh you mean how thet acted towards me-

5:33 AM

Sorry I'm an idiot

5:33 AM

Verbal

nono ur fine love don't worry

5:33 AM

and you said this just started yesterday?

5:34 AM

did they ever act like this any other day before yesterday, or did it just now start?

Yeah it was out of nowhere when we were just talking

5:34 AM

I then told them I was uncomfortable and left

have they spoken to you since? did they seem offended whenever you informed them how uncomfortable you were with their commentary?

Technically we spoke? I was the one who messaged em tho and during it they just kinda were, weird?

seems like they're trying to get what they want without any consequences since they know that you're kind towards them

5:37 AM

but i may be wrong. like i said, i'm trying to understand and break it down right now, even to myself

Mhm that's alright, I think I'll just follow my original plan with distancing then

5:37 AM

It's not really benefiting either of us then

alright. whatever you think is best, then i would suggest following your gut

5:38 AM

just make sure to stay safe love

5:38 AM

is there anything else you need to talk about? my dms are open too if you wanna friend me (edited)

You're such a nice person smh

5:39 AM

I strive to be like you

5:39 AM

And there is one more thing if you're okay with it

i've went through a lot, so i try to protect others from my past experiences. kindness goes a long way, so i appreciate that. thank you <33 (edited)

Mistaken

And there is one more thing if you're okay with it

of course!

5:41 AM

grrrr my stupid friend requests are buggy

You mind doing it in dms? Haven't actually talked to anyone else about it before

i keep trying to accept it

5:41 AM

i don't mind at all! whatever ur comfortable with! <33

I feel like I'm about trip and fall over but I'm laying down so that isn't possible

Soaring :3

I feel like I'm about trip and fall over but I'm laying down so that isn't possible

do you feel dizzy ?

No I feel completely normal but I also feel like I'm about to fall

7:16 AM

Like there's nothing I can actually identify that's wrong

Soaring :3

No I feel completely normal but I also feel like I'm about to fall

whats the feeling like ? like weakness or vertigo ?

Idk I think I'm just imagining it

Soaring :3

Idk I think I'm just imagining it

whens the last time u ate ?

I had like 4 slices of pizza pretty recently

ah

And I've drunk enough water

7:18 AM

Like I said, I think I'm just imagining it

7:18 AM

I'm also kinda tired so

yea ur probs just tireeed

I feel like I’m having a moment where idk what is happening

9:18 AM

I’m js sitting here listening to music and texting and all I can think is negative

Oh no

nolan i'm always here if you need anything. my dms are always open if you ever wanna talk about something such as whenever you're having an episode of dissasociation or depression or something else like that. i care a lot about you and i'm sorry if i always sound like i'm being dramatic or always concerned but i just really care about you and i want you to know that i'm always here for you no matter what

my stomach might explode.

3:56 PM

well it feels like it

Why what happened

uhmmm im constipated

5:58 PM

and uh

5:59 PM

yeah it feels like my stomach is gonna expllode if i dont get it figured out soon:((

5:59 PM

its been 8 days since it started

6:00 PM

idk if this counts like a vent but

6:00 PM

uts bothering me and it huets so bad

OKAYYYYYYYYY I THINK I MANAGED TO DO SOMETHINGGG IM STILL WORRIED THOUGH

...

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

its been 8 days since it started

whens the last time ya had a bowel movement?

DWWWWW I MANAGED TO DO MY THING A FEW MINS AGO :DDD

6:29 PM

Its not much but

6:29 PM

Its progress

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

DWWWWW I MANAGED TO DO MY THING A FEW MINS AGO :DDD

have u been eating fiber?

6:29 PM

and NICEEEE !!!!!

ACTUALLY YES :DD

Hi

I fucking hate my dad

What happened karm :[

mark are you okay? what happened?

i'm okay right now thank you guys<33 (argued with my parents before new years and i started 2024 crying)

11:35 PM

but i'm okay now i promise!!

We’re still in 2023

11:35 PM

sad

what if he lives in a place where it’s new years day already lol

yes i do

11:37 PM

but i think he meant hes still in 2023

hi

Does anyone else just find December an all round miserable month. Like Christmas and New Years are there but it’s never fun, just get the presents/food respectively and pretend you like your family then bugger off. I think it’s called like seasonal depression or smth idfk. Anyway happy new year to yall, one step closer to the heat death of the universe :D

Real

My New Year's resolution is to be less of a lying asshole, because that's what I am and it doesn't make me happy.

Good idea

You know I've lied to you like three times already today, figgl3? (edited)

Soaring :3

You know I've lied to you like three times already today, figgl3? (edited)

this peaks my interest

Wait rly

Yeah I'm not kidding

Can I ask ab what you lied to me about?

I'm probably not gonna tell you, sorry

That’s ok

2:38 AM

Was it like bad tho?

I don't think so

Ok

2:39 AM

Well if you ever feel like telling me you can, I won’t be mad at you.

Yeah I know

Ok

Honestly does kinda hurt but I don’t wanna be annoying

idk why but this whole thing on pink jay lying to me is really getting to me but he already said he doesn’t wanna talk ab it and I lowkey get rly anxious in these situations. I was gonna play Xbox to distract myself but I’m so anxious :[

I feel so fucking annoying and that everyone just pretends to like me

i dont pretend to like you i think youre an awesome person to talk to

nolan

I feel so fucking annoying and that everyone just pretends to like me

Nah I like you the lies had basically nothing to do with you so don't worry

3:15 AM

And I'm sorry I made you upset

ok it’s fine

3:16 AM

I just keep overthinking. I do it all the time.

I dont know what I lost that makes me chase love so bad. Everytime I get into a relationship I get dumped or worse and then i overthink what I do so wrong every time.

I feel you

3:19 AM

I’ve had the same things happen to me

Jeff

I dont know what I lost that makes me chase love so bad. Everytime I get into a relationship I get dumped or worse and then i overthink what I do so wrong every time.

i dont think youre the problem then, those people are in the wrong for leaving you alone like that

I chase love but when I catch it it slips away

3:20 AM

You just need to find the right person

nolan

You just need to find the right person

Its hard but I have hope for you guys!!!!<333

3:21 AM

the right person will come

Thanks

3:21 AM

I like someone but HEAVILY doubt they feel the same

3:21 AM

So I’m just not gonna talk ab it

AWWWH!! Thats okay

and sometimes its worth taking the shot but only when youre ready!!<33 I wish you luck!

I’m js gonna keep it to myself and not ask them yus

3:22 AM

Bc im scared if i ask they wont wanna be friends yus

If they don't wanna be friends after you ask them then they're probably lame, I just don't get why people would stop being friends after that happens

Yeah

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i dont think youre the problem then, those people are in the wrong for leaving you alone like that

2 days i ago i was with this dude who had struggled with his mental health. He told me about it but he didnt want my help. I was giving all the love and i affection i could, but he ended up blocking me and when I added him on a alt he said that "it is too much for me".

Jeff

2 days i ago i was with this dude who had struggled with his mental health. He told me about it but he didnt want my help. I was giving all the love and i affection i could, but he ended up blocking me and when I added him on a alt he said that "it is too much for me".

i dont think these people appreciate the effort then.

3:39 AM

whicch is sad :((

3:40 AM

like, i know how it is to be in such a bad place where you have no hope left but thats not an excuse to push people who actually wanna help you away (i used to do that, but not in a mean way, id still talk to them just not accept them to help me because i thought i deserved the 'punishment' and i still thought that im in the wrong for not letting them help me.) but here isnt the case i dont think it is. genuine people will appreciate the gesture no matter how low theyre feeling in life, i think you deserve better and the right person will come to you

3:41 AM

IM SORRY if what i say sometimes doesnt make sense its almost 5 am but im trying my best to help!!!!

Thanks

hii what happened? is there anything i can do to help? i can write somebody a paragraph if that's what they need! <33

4:32 AM

lemme read the chats rq hold on i missed out on a lot

nolan

I feel so fucking annoying and that everyone just pretends to like me

nolan you're not annoying at all. you're one of the most entertaining, sweet, supportive, understanding, and best people i know. i love talking to you. whenever i get a notification from discord or on my phone from you i smile. you're the reason i smile daily, and you're honestly one of the only reasons why i'm still empathetic towards people because you made me realize how valuable friendship is. you're an amazing demonstration of what an amazing friend is and i promise i'm not faking this paragraph at all. this is all coming from my heart. i love you so much nolan. please never feel like you can't talk to me about something because i'll always be here for you no matter what. you're an amazing person and i genuinely love talking to you. if you ever need somebody to talk to for or about anything, please just text me or let me know because i care a lot about you and i hope you know that. <33

Jeff

I dont know what I lost that makes me chase love so bad. Everytime I get into a relationship I get dumped or worse and then i overthink what I do so wrong every time.

feelings can definitely be confusing sometimes, and that's okay! sometimes it's because we're not used to receiving love, or it's because you may have trust issues or attachment issues. they're all very common and can affect a relationship, but it's not a bad thing to have. you're not alone. overthinking is also normal, but i can try and help you with that too if that's what you're mainly worried about! i promise you're not the one at fault, no matter how much you or other perceive you to be. you're an amazing person! listen to your heart and feelings. it's normal to get hurt, but it's also normal to fall in love. they sometimes go along with each other, kinda like a main dish and a side dish. if you find the right person, i promise they'll make you happy and will help reduce these thoughts and worries. take care and happy new year! <33

Jeff

2 days i ago i was with this dude who had struggled with his mental health. He told me about it but he didnt want my help. I was giving all the love and i affection i could, but he ended up blocking me and when I added him on a alt he said that "it is too much for me".

it's not your fault, don't worry. sometimes people push others away due to stress or simply the fact that they don't want or appreciate your kindess, loyalty, and effort to be empathetic and understanding towards them. it's amazing that you were empathetic in the first place. that shows that you have a good heart and a sense of empathy and humanity. unfortunately, not all people are like that. i'm not calling anybody the bad guy here, but that's also what i'm trying to get at. you're not in the wrong, so try not to put yourself down for something you can't control. i know it's hard to do so, but you've got this!

Thanks, means alot awe

ofc! anytime man :DD <33

spoilering this in case this triggers someone: i’m fucking done with my aunt, who i’ve had the misfortune to share a house with. this entire 2023 she made home life hell. she’s threatened to take my phone away from me for months on end over completely mundane things. she forced all my siblings to join an after school activity just because i CHOSE to join band in middle school and participate in a dnd club. she also stole all of our christmas money that she didn’t even give us, and yelled at everybody who had seconds at christmas dinner just because she loved a certain food. she prevented my sister from seeing her gf multiple times, and she didn’t give a shit when my sister got hurt at wrestling practice. she took another sister’s phone away for months on end over a simple grade. i could name more things but it would take me way too fucking long. anyway, the moral of the story is this: FUCK YOU DEBBIE! anyway, she ended 2023 by calling me annoying for doing the exact thing that she would have done to calm my siblings down. yes, i know i’m annoying, but what the fuck would that be a reason for anyone at all to be annoying? are you an entitled narc, debbie?

she does have a chance to improve her behavior though

you're not annoying for simply trying to be an empathetic person and a good sibling. your aunt is entirely in the wrong. she seems very controlling, toxic, and demanding imo. and the stealing part?? that's a fucking dickhead move. also, yelling at somebody for simply nourishing their body just because you wanted some more of a certain food is seriously selfish. she wants to seem like the good guy by lecturing you and instead making it seem like she's NOT the one who neglected you and your siblings. ignoring an injury from a wrestling match?? what the actual fuck is wrong with you? i'm sorry if i'm coming off as hostile towards your aunt, but she doesn't seem like the brightest in either a smart way or a loving/parental way. being a guardian means you look after your loved ones, not neglect them and brush their physical, emotional, and mental health off. also punishing a child over a singular grade is seriously pathetic, coming from someone who has had full-on panic attacks over getting a C on a test. she should also give your sister some freedom and allow her to see her girlfriend at least once in a while. as they all say; sneaky guardians make sneaky children.

Julian

she does have a chance to improve her behavior though

i hope she learns how to because you nor your siblings deserve her toxic personality traits. just know that you're amazing and keep doing what you're doing. i hope your aunt learns how to be better and understand her family better

5:02 AM

i'm so sorry that you're going through this, and if there's absolutely anything that i can do for you, i'd be happy to do so. just dm me <33

thank you <33

autumn <33.

nolan you're not annoying at all. you're one of the most entertaining, sweet, supportive, understanding, and best people i know. i love talking to you. whenever i get a notification from discord or on my phone from you i smile. you're the reason i smile daily, and you're honestly one of the only reasons why i'm still empathetic towards people because you made me realize how valuable friendship is. you're an amazing demonstration of what an amazing friend is and i promise i'm not faking this paragraph at all. this is all coming from my heart. i love you so much nolan. please never feel like you can't talk to me about something because i'll always be here for you no matter what. you're an amazing person and i genuinely love talking to you. if you ever need somebody to talk to for or about anything, please just text me or let me know because i care a lot about you and i hope you know that. <33

I love you but I ain’t readin allat

oh okay lol

Julian

spoilering this in case this triggers someone: i’m fucking done with my aunt, who i’ve had the misfortune to share a house with. this entire 2023 she made home life hell. she’s threatened to take my phone away from me for months on end over completely mundane things. she forced all my siblings to join an after school activity just because i CHOSE to join band in middle school and participate in a dnd club. she also stole all of our christmas money that she didn’t even give us, and yelled at everybody who had seconds at christmas dinner just because she loved a certain food. she prevented my sister from seeing her gf multiple times, and she didn’t give a shit when my sister got hurt at wrestling practice. she took another sister’s phone away for months on end over a simple grade. i could name more things but it would take me way too fucking long. anyway, the moral of the story is this: FUCK YOU DEBBIE! anyway, she ended 2023 by calling me annoying for doing the exact thing that she would have done to calm my siblings down. yes, i know i’m annoying, but what the fuck would that be a reason for anyone at all to be annoying? are you an entitled narc, debbie?

debbie

6:14 AM

makes sense

6:14 AM

sorry you have to live with that

In the last thirty minutes, I've wanted to eat a candle, throw my phone out of the car window, climb to the top of a very rickety shelf (might still do that one ngl), and stick my head out of a window on the second floor

7:02 AM

Intrusive thoughts suck

intrusive thoughts do suck, but unfortunately AND fortunately, they are completely normal, especially if you have OCD. some things that may help to reduce these thoughts could be getting some fresh air and other stuff like that. these thoughts can be scary, but they're just part of being a human. :)) i hope you're doing okay <33

3:45 PM

deep breathing and other acts such as meditation or yoga can also help! it can help you observe your surroundings, relax your body,and put your mind in a state of rest and peacefulness :DD

i am so sick of people texting me only to tell me their problems and not even say "hey how are you?" or something and when i have enough courage to tell them what bothers me with my issues, they either ignore it, say "oh." or move on and change the topic, talking about themself again. i am so so sick and tired of that to the point where i started only saying "oh" too or like i barely have an answer to give because im so sick of being seen as the therapist friend only, i am a human being too, i have my own problems, i LOVE helping people out dont get me wrong, but i hate being used and taken advantage of. the person that uses me only to vent to me is thinking of quitting discord, and i dont even have a reaction anymore other than being like "okay" in my mind because all they did was only talk to me about their problems only and they dont even listen to mine.

4:31 PM

it makes me so sad to see how vulnerable to society i am. i feel inferior to everybody.

mark, i promise you're not inferior. you're just as important as everybody else. you're an amazing person and such an amazing friend, especially if you've stuck with that person for so long. it can definitely be annoying having to deal with everybody's problems. you're not alone. it's also not your fault at all, and your feelings are completely valid. people like that get on my nerves. they think they can just spill everything onto one person without expecting even one small vent from them in return. i promise that your problems are just as vital as anybody else's. it's perfectly fine to help people, but those people also need to understand that in most cases, the therapist friend is the one who needs the most therapy. also, you becoming fine and at peace with them leaving is often what people call being emotionally cold, or just not caring anymore. it's normal, so don't stress about it (if you were in the first place.) you're not vulnerable, mark. i promise. having emotions, thoughts, concerns, and worries doesn't make you vulnerable. what makes you vulnerable is being inconsiderate of others' feelings and getting upset when they do the same to you, and that's not what you're doing. your feelings are valid, and them brushing your worries off like that is so selfish of them. you're an amazing person, mark. i'm proud of you. you're soso strong and i promise so many people care about you, me being one of them. if you ever need anybody to talk to about anything, then i'm right here for you. always. i'll always be here for you and anybody else who needs it.

4:37 PM

take care of yourself. love you (platonic) <33.

4:38 PM

i'll make sure to start checking on everybody i know, including you.

4:39 PM

i care about you and so many others do too. you're important, and so are your feelings.

4:39 PM

is there anything else that's on your mind? my dms are always open.

autumn <33.

mark, i promise you're not inferior. you're just as important as everybody else. you're an amazing person and such an amazing friend, especially if you've stuck with that person for so long. it can definitely be annoying having to deal with everybody's problems. you're not alone. it's also not your fault at all, and your feelings are completely valid. people like that get on my nerves. they think they can just spill everything onto one person without expecting even one small vent from them in return. i promise that your problems are just as vital as anybody else's. it's perfectly fine to help people, but those people also need to understand that in most cases, the therapist friend is the one who needs the most therapy. also, you becoming fine and at peace with them leaving is often what people call being emotionally cold, or just not caring anymore. it's normal, so don't stress about it (if you were in the first place.) you're not vulnerable, mark. i promise. having emotions, thoughts, concerns, and worries doesn't make you vulnerable. what makes you vulnerable is being inconsiderate of others' feelings and getting upset when they do the same to you, and that's not what you're doing. your feelings are valid, and them brushing your worries off like that is so selfish of them. you're an amazing person, mark. i'm proud of you. you're soso strong and i promise so many people care about you, me being one of them. if you ever need anybody to talk to about anything, then i'm right here for you. always. i'll always be here for you and anybody else who needs it.

god autumn i dont know what to say to that :((

THANK YOU SO MUCH I i dont know how to even feel right now i feel sad but happy i dont know im scared to be emotionally cold like you said i dont want people to think i dont care about them but SOME people.. some people i just cant with them anymore. i feel like not even replying to them anymore, i stop answering after they say "oh" anyway and like,, they even act like its a joke like its not quirky to ignore someones problems just because that someone is always willing to listen to you. they only dm me when they need me which sucks so so damn bad. we arent that close, but i used to see them as a sibling, now i dont know how to feel about that. they always talk about their crush and how their friendship is "ruined" and here i'm like,, i dont even know them that well, i dont even know what they talk about, i dont even know how to help them, im trying to show that i care because i do, but honestly its gotten to the point where i dont wish to hear them talk about that one person anymore. its always them and them and them, i love listening to people, but not to such people who only use you for venting or whatever. they arent even willing to listen to my problems, like one time where i thought i was gonna pass out from bloodloss and then they were like "oh" and i was like "i dont know what to do now" and then they stopped answering for a bit and then texted again to tell me what happened with their crush. thats the most upsetting thing to me..

4:53 PM

its not the only thing bothering me, i have so many more, some which are harder to talk about, some that i dont know if theyre real, i have a lot of problems, but i dont know how to even mention them. for some reason i even forget my own issues, i have that many that i lost track of whats upsetting me at the moment. i just remembered this situation with that person i mentioned because we were just talking earlier but like,,, AAAAA I dont know

4:54 PM

my mind is endless with negative thoughts.

4:54 PM

i should be happy, but why am i not..

4:58 PM

i am positive i have dependent personality disorder. i am almost certain BUT of course i cant know. i cant get a diagnosis. i cant go to the doctors. i cant get therapy. i cant do anything. i dont wanna self diagnose, but literally the symptoms are me, and i dont know what to do. thats one of the things thats been on my mind, so sorry if its a bit off topic i mean i dont think it is.. i i dont know what im even saying anymore

5:01 PM

i tried researching BPD too, but no, thats not me. if im abandoned or i feel that way, i dont lash out or anything, i just.. i fold. and im desperate for another person to be by my side.

5:01 PM

it hurts so bad

i miss my bf im waiting hours for him only for him not to be here..

Damn

8:19 PM

That sucks

:(

8:47 PM

i cant take it

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i should be happy, but why am i not..

because you're not receiving proper treatment. that's why. what they did to you is NOT right in ANY way, shape, form, or fashion. you aren't expected to be happy if someone is treating you like shit, and you don't have to go through smth certain to be considered as valid for feeling that way. (edited)

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

god autumn i dont know what to say to that :((

THANK YOU SO MUCH I i dont know how to even feel right now i feel sad but happy i dont know im scared to be emotionally cold like you said i dont want people to think i dont care about them but SOME people.. some people i just cant with them anymore. i feel like not even replying to them anymore, i stop answering after they say "oh" anyway and like,, they even act like its a joke like its not quirky to ignore someones problems just because that someone is always willing to listen to you. they only dm me when they need me which sucks so so damn bad. we arent that close, but i used to see them as a sibling, now i dont know how to feel about that. they always talk about their crush and how their friendship is "ruined" and here i'm like,, i dont even know them that well, i dont even know what they talk about, i dont even know how to help them, im trying to show that i care because i do, but honestly its gotten to the point where i dont wish to hear them talk about that one person anymore. its always them and them and them, i love listening to people, but not to such people who only use you for venting or whatever. they arent even willing to listen to my problems, like one time where i thought i was gonna pass out from bloodloss and then they were like "oh" and i was like "i dont know what to do now" and then they stopped answering for a bit and then texted again to tell me what happened with their crush. thats the most upsetting thing to me..

being scared of change is a common thing. people say not to fear it, but it can affect your life for the better or the worse. i think they're just trying to get what they want out of you and be selfish, but they give you nothing in return. also them treating it like a joke?? what the actual fuck. you call that your best friend but you constantly make jokes about invalidating and neglecting their feelings and worries? i can take jokes of all kind, including offensive ones. however, that isn't a joke. that's just straight up disrespect and selfishness on their half. it sounds like they're a user (a pathetic person :3) who only milks people of their happiness and constantly burdens them with their own problems. friendship means being there for each other, not just expecting one person to be there for you and you not doing anything for them in return. drifting away from someone is also a common part of the aftermath, and you shouldn't feel guilty for it. i promise that you aren't the one at fault, mark. they're the one who made you feel like you needed to do that in order to not constantly be weighed down. also, them complaining about their crush and other friendship 24/7 is almost like making plans in front of someone you know you don't intend to invite. you not wanting to be associated with that person is also a common effect of a one-sided friendship. sorry not sorry but it's annoying asf whenever someone brings up someone that they're "obsessed with" 24/7. if it's the only thing you're gonna talk about to me every single hour of the day, then get out pls. being used as a therapist friend is painful, but you're strong, mark. you're such an amazing and thoughtful person. i'll always be here for you, and i promise you can always trust me to talk about your problems no matter what. i'm always here for you.

10:46 PM

and them joking about you being genuinely scared that you're gonna pass out from blood loss??? literally what the hell is wrong with them... them ignoring your problems is a petty ass move of theirs. they need to learn how to be more considerate of other people.

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

its not the only thing bothering me, i have so many more, some which are harder to talk about, some that i dont know if theyre real, i have a lot of problems, but i dont know how to even mention them. for some reason i even forget my own issues, i have that many that i lost track of whats upsetting me at the moment. i just remembered this situation with that person i mentioned because we were just talking earlier but like,,, AAAAA I dont know

well if you ever remember them and you wanna talk about them, even if it's something that's considered as "invalid", then please feel free to add me and vent your heart out. i love comforting people, and knowing tha someone is hurting this bad, especially someone as sweet and warm-hearted as you, makes my heart break. i hope i'm not sounding creepy about it, but i'm always here for you and anybody else who needs it.

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

my mind is endless with negative thoughts.

i promise it will get better eventually mark. time and waiting is painful, but it's kinda like a vaccine! it hurts while getting it and your arm is sore for a few days afterward, but now you won't get the virus that's spreading around currently! there's always light at the end of a tunnel, even if you think it's a dead end.

autumn <33.

i promise it will get better eventually mark. time and waiting is painful, but it's kinda like a vaccine! it hurts while getting it and your arm is sore for a few days afterward, but now you won't get the virus that's spreading around currently! there's always light at the end of a tunnel, even if you think it's a dead end.

That’s such a good way of putting it omgg

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i am positive i have dependent personality disorder. i am almost certain BUT of course i cant know. i cant get a diagnosis. i cant go to the doctors. i cant get therapy. i cant do anything. i dont wanna self diagnose, but literally the symptoms are me, and i dont know what to do. thats one of the things thats been on my mind, so sorry if its a bit off topic i mean i dont think it is.. i i dont know what im even saying anymore

it's perfectly fine, mark. you don't have to always know what you're talking about. feelings are extremely confusing and upsetting sometimes. also, i would actually recomennd self-diagnosing at the moment! it's been proven that a lot of people who self-diagnose go to get tested and actually have what they thought they had for years! people often call it invalid, but i promise it's much better than other unhealthy coping mechanisms. if you've done actual research on the disorder that you think you have, then i would suggest talking to somebody about it, such as somebody that can take you to get profesionally diagnosed (if you trust your legal guardians, that is.) and it doesn't matter if smth is off-topic or not. i don't mind, and nobody else should either. that's what venting is about. venting is about letting others know you're struggling and clarifying exactly why you feel that way and what's causing your suffering. whatever's on your mind and heart, don't be afraid to let someone know and pour it out to them. so many people care about you, and they should know why you're being distant and such. <33

meow

That’s such a good way of putting it omgg

AHH TYSM!! i'm trying my best to be as enforcing yet soothing at the same time, so i'm trying to set examples to help them see it more clearly! words can be comforting if used in the right way, so that's what i always try to do! <33 :3

autumn <33.

AHH TYSM!! i'm trying my best to be as enforcing yet soothing at the same time, so i'm trying to set examples to help them see it more clearly! words can be comforting if used in the right way, so that's what i always try to do! <33 :3

well you’re doing a good job at it even I feel comforted a bit by it and I’m not even who’s it’s directed at :3

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i tried researching BPD too, but no, thats not me. if im abandoned or i feel that way, i dont lash out or anything, i just.. i fold. and im desperate for another person to be by my side.

and that's perfectly fine. all people are different, which means not everyone will react the same way as others. some are more distant and hostile than others, and said others are often more vulnerable and desperate to have someone by their side to help them through it all. i promise there's nothing wrong with feeling the way you feel, lovely. you're in a pit right now, and it takes time and understanding to get out of it. it happens to the best of us. i promise i'll always be here by your side through it all if that's what you need. i'll reassure you and do whatever you need, as long as you don't feel alone and/or abandoned. <33

meow

well you’re doing a good job at it even I feel comforted a bit by it and I’m not even who’s it’s directed at :3

OHMGOSHH FR??! TYSMSMMM!!!!!!!! THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO HEAR ILY MWAH MWAH <33

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

it hurts so bad

hugs and love for you because you deserve it and a sweet heart like yours doesn't deserve to be stepped on.

11:04 PM

Owo hug @！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

autumn <33. gives mark a big hug!

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i cant take it

you've got this, hun. i know you do. you're incredibly strong.

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i miss my bf im waiting hours for him only for him not to be here..

shame on your bf >:((. TELL HIM TO GET BETTER TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS OR A 14-YEAR-OLD GIRL IS GONNA COME FOR HIM

I can remove his liver if you want

11:13 PM

I'll eat it afterwards

11:13 PM

It's pretty rich in nutrients

real like i got the seasoning :3

Mean-boyfriend-liver burger

11:15 PM

New recipe

11:15 PM

Sick

autumn <33.

OHMGOSHH FR??! TYSMSMMM!!!!!!!! THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO HEAR ILY MWAH MWAH <33

looool aweee ywwww:3

YYWYWYWYWWW :DD

are your friends passing judgement onto you for it? or is that person passing judgement onto you?

3:13 AM

gotcha. is there anything i can do to help? not trying to be weird i just wanna help in any way that i can

3:13 AM

if i can at all, that is

3:14 AM

do you wanna add me and we can dm? idm as long as i get to help somebody

3:15 AM

alr! <33

3:15 AM

if you decide to, js add me and i'll try to get back to you asap :)) (edited)

3:16 AM

oh okay!

I feel like assssssss and idk how to vent so yuhhh lmaoao

TALK TO US

4:11 AM

or me

4:11 AM

WHATEVER

4:11 AM

I'M HERE TO LISTEN

yessss but idk how to vent its been too long since i properly vented

JS EXPLAIN WHAT YOU CAN :3 and don't be afraid to throw in details

4:13 AM

THAT'S THE BEST I KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT HELPL

autumn <33.

THAT'S THE BEST I KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT HELPL

DWDW LOL

4:14 AM

I mean its jsut a lot of stuff that is wrong really

4:14 AM

like

4:15 AM

Well first i feel lonely asf irl since I only got 1 friend

‍♂️ And well Ik i can make other friends cause other ppl are super nice to me and ik a girl wants to be my friend its just idk how to communicate and my social battery sucks and ik why it sucks cause its been well like 6 months now but well my ex broke up w me and idk i just miss him kinda but i wouldn't get back w him yk??

i'm listening js pour it out

And like he was really a kind person its just we both were just in a really poor mental placr and shit and yeah but uhh yeah

4:16 AM

and like ever since he left i focused on myself more which im grateful abt but

4:16 AM

now i mlike

4:17 AM

overly focused on myself

4:17 AM

the the point i cant make friends cause i dont have the time and social battery for irl friends and im overly obsessed over my physical look because im trying so hard to be happy w myself but its harrrrfdddsmdkw

4:17 AM

and yeah idk

4:18 AM

Its just been really chaotic

4:18 AM

and ik ppl have it worse so ik i should be happy and all

4:18 AM

but its hard after everything that happened before n shit

4:18 AM

and now im getting pressured to like

4:18 AM

pass my year

4:18 AM

even thought the whole reason why i failed was cause of pressure

4:19 AM

so i lost motivation before

4:19 AM

and then skipped, didnt listen in class, etc

4:19 AM

and my dad doesnt understand that but yes

4:19 AM

ik im better now since i have a goal but its hard

4:19 AM

especially since the one friend i have is a pain to be with around

4:20 AM

since they constantly find little shit to argue abt

4:20 AM

like mate chill pls

4:20 AM

anyways yes

4:21 AM

idk how to explain really but idk its just been so long since ive allowed myself to feel not okay

it's not your fault at all love. sometimes people ignore their own feelings because they're expected to not complain about them. i think what happened was that you want more friends but when you have the chance to make them, you dismiss it due to socializing problems. it's normal to have problems with socializing :)) also the pressure that others are putting on you is seriously not okay. they can't js expect to pressure somebody and they still perform with full motivation and perfect grades. you're doing amazing no matter what your grades, status, etc. are. also, following goals can be hard, so try to take it little by little. don't rush yourself too much! <33 your friend needs to learn to stop bitching abt everything too bro cuz people like that certainly are a pain in the ass, especially when you have to deal with them 24/7. you're strong, and i know you've got this! no matter what life throws at you, you're strong and you'll get through it. also it's perfectly fine to not have a lot of friends irl, so don't sweat it! i don't have many irl and i'm happier with less yet more real friends than with more yet less real friends. hope you know that you're doing great and i'm soso proud of you, even if your expectations "say otherwise." please take care of yourself and just know that i'm always here if you need to talk about anything else.

autumn <33.

it's not your fault at all love. sometimes people ignore their own feelings because they're expected to not complain about them. i think what happened was that you want more friends but when you have the chance to make them, you dismiss it due to socializing problems. it's normal to have problems with socializing :)) also the pressure that others are putting on you is seriously not okay. they can't js expect to pressure somebody and they still perform with full motivation and perfect grades. you're doing amazing no matter what your grades, status, etc. are. also, following goals can be hard, so try to take it little by little. don't rush yourself too much! <33 your friend needs to learn to stop bitching abt everything too bro cuz people like that certainly are a pain in the ass, especially when you have to deal with them 24/7. you're strong, and i know you've got this! no matter what life throws at you, you're strong and you'll get through it. also it's perfectly fine to not have a lot of friends irl, so don't sweat it! i don't have many irl and i'm happier with less yet more real friends than with more yet less real friends. hope you know that you're doing great and i'm soso proud of you, even if your expectations "say otherwise." please take care of yourself and just know that i'm always here if you need to talk about anything else.

Yeah, like I realized lately I've been ignoring my feelings since I don't want ppl to think Im weak or something and yeah And for the friends part its true asf lmaoaoao

cause well im DEATHLY afraid of what ppl yhink of me, my apperance, personality, etc. And for pressure yeah it sucks fr like they expect ill get good grades when im already dealing w further more important problems

But at the same time I also kinda pressure myself caus I really wanna be perfect in dance and I really wanna be an actor, so when I think abt my goals I always repeat to myself "its not that ill try to succeed my goals, its that i will." but well it motivates me to some extent, compared to the pressure my dad and other adults gives me. And well for my friend i really wish i could talk abt that w them honestly but they always take everything so god damn personally and shit

I dont even think they actually wanna be my friend though cause they have another best friend (which idc abt) but its the fact they always talking abt how they feel replaced my them and shit yet they do the SAME exact shit to me

like im their 2nd choice or sum, its dumb asf. Also I wish it was okay for me to not have a lot of friends but I only have that one friend that we are talking abt. And they have been my friend for like 4 years now but they changed so much and idk what to do except try to find true friends but i dont wanna abandon them yk?? so yuhh. Ill try to take care of myself even though its really hard, cant guarantee it though but tysmm

Thanks for everything:))

expressing emotions doesn't make you weak, love

you also may have social anxiety. it's an intense and constant fear of judgement and what others are thinking of you also it's good that you motivate yourself! :)) just try not to listen to the pressure that stresses you out instead of encouraging you your friend needs to learn that not everything is meant to be offensive like bro chill tf out... they sound lowkey manipulative and hypocritical. they don't want you to have other friends, but they turn around and do the exact same thing. being a 2nd choice is annoying and painful at the same time, but i promise you're an amazing friend no matter what your "friend" says.

it can also be hard to make new friends. i get it, don't worry. i know where you're coming from. i dropped a toxic friend once and i felt amazing afterward. i found out that my mood was more positive and i was more open to other friendships! perhaps try to talk to someone who's interested in being friends with you? such as maybe a classmate that talks to you often with a smile and ofc! anytime! you're doing amazing love. i'm soso proud of you.

autumn <33.

expressing emotions doesn't make you weak, love

you also may have social anxiety. it's an intense and constant fear of judgement and what others are thinking of you also it's good that you motivate yourself! :)) just try not to listen to the pressure that stresses you out instead of encouraging you your friend needs to learn that not everything is meant to be offensive like bro chill tf out... they sound lowkey manipulative and hypocritical. they don't want you to have other friends, but they turn around and do the exact same thing. being a 2nd choice is annoying and painful at the same time, but i promise you're an amazing friend no matter what your "friend" says.

it can also be hard to make new friends. i get it, don't worry. i know where you're coming from. i dropped a toxic friend once and i felt amazing afterward. i found out that my mood was more positive and i was more open to other friendships! perhaps try to talk to someone who's interested in being friends with you? such as maybe a classmate that talks to you often with a smile and ofc! anytime! you're doing amazing love. i'm soso proud of you.

Yeah for the social anxiety I might actually get a diagnosis soon cause like only recently I got an actual psychologist but my therapist i had her for 3 years so she knows all abt the social stress. so my psychologist and therapist works together lol Ill try to not listen too much to the bad pressure, even tho its a bit hard

AND ABT THE FRIEND ITS SO TRUE DUDE LIKE they get mad at me if I say I have another friend, like they'll get cold and say "omg im lonely now cuz u have another friend" TF YOU MEAN??

like i promise ill never replace them but they dont understand i also have my own life and not just their 2nd choice to whenever they need socializing

Also I know a few ppl that would like to be my friends but its just im scared cause i dont want my best friend to think im replacing them

but yeah theres this girl i like and shes reslly nice and we got the same humor and stuff and shes in secondary 4 so at least our ages are aligned

But yeah tysmmm :DD

5:05 AM

I also realize most of my bad mood comes from my social circle lmao

St✩r

Yeah for the social anxiety I might actually get a diagnosis soon cause like only recently I got an actual psychologist but my therapist i had her for 3 years so she knows all abt the social stress. so my psychologist and therapist works together lol Ill try to not listen too much to the bad pressure, even tho its a bit hard

AND ABT THE FRIEND ITS SO TRUE DUDE LIKE they get mad at me if I say I have another friend, like they'll get cold and say "omg im lonely now cuz u have another friend" TF YOU MEAN??

like i promise ill never replace them but they dont understand i also have my own life and not just their 2nd choice to whenever they need socializing

Also I know a few ppl that would like to be my friends but its just im scared cause i dont want my best friend to think im replacing them

but yeah theres this girl i like and shes reslly nice and we got the same humor and stuff and shes in secondary 4 so at least our ages are aligned

But yeah tysmmm :DD

AHHHH I'M GLAD YOU MIGHT GET IT FIGURED OUT SOON!!!!! >3< AND UR FRIEND NEEDS TO STOP BEING A BABYYYY BRO. they needa start considering that other people have a life too and that you can't be their only friend the entire time they're living ALSO GRRRRR WHO CARES YOUR BSF IS STUPID ANYWAYS /j i hope you know that there are plenty of people who care for you and would love to be your friend :3 you're an amazing and lively person to talk with! <33

autumn <33.

AHHHH I'M GLAD YOU MIGHT GET IT FIGURED OUT SOON!!!!! >3< AND UR FRIEND NEEDS TO STOP BEING A BABYYYY BRO. they needa start considering that other people have a life too and that you can't be their only friend the entire time they're living ALSO GRRRRR WHO CARES YOUR BSF IS STUPID ANYWAYS /j i hope you know that there are plenty of people who care for you and would love to be your friend :3 you're an amazing and lively person to talk with! <33

YUHHH IM HAPPY TOO HEHE AND YEAH FR, MAYBE ONE DAY MY FRIEND WILL UNDERSTAND

AND TYSSSMMMM :DDD YOU'RE SO KIND MAN

I TRY MY BEST TO BE AS KIND AS POSSIBLE SO TYSMMSM :3

OH BTW IF EVER YOU ALSO NEED SUM IM HERE :))

everyday i am so so so SO SO fucking happy im not with my ex anymore

6:19 AM

no matter how bad or horrible things get i dont think itll ever be as bad as when i was with her

6:19 AM

holy shit

Well that’s good

6:22 AM

Glad your happier

among us vent

I toke a test drive on my pillow... felt weird.

What

I hope you don’t mean what I’m thinking

nolan

I hope you don’t mean what I’m thinking

Myb..

Nah it’s fine but watch what you say

Okay

Mods are ruthless

Ima head out and don't reply till next year

Just make sure you read the rules good

HIIIII HOW IS EVERYONE FEELING TODAY :3

I’m good

server therapist role when?

Eepy but can’t eep

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

server therapist role when?

Fr

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

server therapist role when?

FOR ME OR SMB ELSE???

For you dumbass

oh

IM KIDDJBG

2:53 PM

NAH IM NOT A THERAPIST IT'S MY JOB TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE IS FEELING OKAY

2:53 PM

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

autumn <33.

NAH IM NOT A THERAPIST IT'S MY JOB TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE IS FEELING OKAY

wait hold on isn't that the job of a therapist

2:53 PM

IDEK ANYMORE

Autumn who is mehek

autumn <33.

NAH IM NOT A THERAPIST IT'S MY JOB TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE IS FEELING OKAY

reckon you will be one eventually hun

nolan

Autumn who is mehek

online friend of mine. i've been sending her paragraphs daily

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

reckon you will be one eventually hun

you caught me [sigh]

2:55 PM

OH I HELPED TO PREVENT SOMEONE FROM UHM 0ffing themselves LAST NIGHT

2:55 PM

SO YIPPEE

Nice (edited)

2:55 PM

Grr autumn your at the top of my DMs and i thought it said my bf was online

nolan

Eepy but can’t eep

warm tea/milk with honey and/or sugar, cherry juice or cherries, melatonin, or a small dose of benadryl babes

I ain’t eepin

BRO YOU BETTER SLEEB

My mom was also kinda mad I stayed up all night

2:56 PM

But wtv

when is ur mom not mad...... honestly

nolan

Grr autumn your at the top of my DMs and i thought it said my bf was online

im

2:57 PM

quite literally

2:58 PM

HEEEHEHHEE

maybe move to general :)

CRAP SORRY SORRY

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Fr

@cate (my mommy) doesn’t speak to me anymore and I’m crying :(((

Owo hug @♡ [RES] Alphaxx ♡

autumn <33. gives ♡ [KTME] Alphaxx ♡ a big hug!

:3

♡ [RES] Alphaxx ♡

@cate (my mommy) doesn’t speak to me anymore and I’m crying :(((

wait no are you actually bc i'm awful at understanding whether someone is being sarcastic or serious

autumn <33.

wait no are you actually bc i'm awful at understanding whether someone is being sarcastic or serious

I call cate mommy cos it’s an inside joke

12:58 AM

I’m not being fr

OH OKAY SORRY SORRY

Man I hate when people discount my physical trauma. Like "Your too young too be in pain" Like bro my shoulders are full of titanium and theres a flap taken out of my skull. You understand metal gets cold and contracts pulling and pushing against my literal bones bro??

the sad thing is, nobody can be too young to be in pain, and nobody ever seems to acknowledge it

1:51 AM

i’m sorry you have to deal with such nonsense

DËFCØN

Man I hate when people discount my physical trauma. Like "Your too young too be in pain" Like bro my shoulders are full of titanium and theres a flap taken out of my skull. You understand metal gets cold and contracts pulling and pushing against my literal bones bro??

the statement that someone is "too young to be in pain" is just a flat-out myth. there's no specific age to feel pain at, whether it be emotionally, physically, mentally, verbally, or anything else along those lines. people always want to downplay others' emotions and feelings if they think something isn't valid or justified simply because they weren't there to experience it. that must be extremely painful to deal with and i'm sorry that others constantly dismiss it as something minor when it's something that actually bothers you. you don't deserve that; no one does. you're so strong for going through what you did, and nothing will change that. no matter what people say, you're strong. i promise that there are plenty of people out there who would say the same, and they care for you. others can't comment on the situation if they don't truly understand and acknowledge it first. plenty of people are proud fo you for making it this far, and you're an amazing person man. don't listen to what small-minded people have to say if they don't truly understand where you're coming from.

1:59 AM

Bro made me cry/p

AWWWHH NONO DON'T CRYYYY

2:38 AM

AS LONG AS UR FEELING BETTER <33

2

Dude youre so freaking nice

THANK YOU SO MUCHHCH AHHHHH I TRY MY BEST TO BE AS KIND AS POSSIBLE TOWARDS OTHERS <33

1

2:48 AM

JUST KNOW I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU ALRIGHT? :3

1

2:48 AM

AND ANYBODY OFC

Are your dms open?

OFC!!!!!! JS ADD ME <33

autumn <33.

THANK YOU SO MUCHHCH AHHHHH I TRY MY BEST TO BE AS KIND AS POSSIBLE TOWARDS OTHERS <33

Your my kinda ppl Being born into the house hold i was and being a boyscout I always try to be a good person even tho im a ####-poster

do those tags start with a p or a g (if you feel comfortable answering) IM JS WONDERING I WONT JUDGE YOU I PROMISE IM NOT LIKE THAT

3:28 AM

ALSO I'M GLAD I'M YOUR KINDA PPL YIPPEE >w<

3:29 AM

ALSO YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON DW LOVE

or a 'v'

that js gave me flashbacks help

autumn <33.

do those tags start with a p or a g (if you feel comfortable answering) IM JS WONDERING I WONT JUDGE YOU I PROMISE IM NOT LIKE THAT

Wdym tags

oh sorry

3:29 AM

the uh

3:29 AM

THE FOUR TAGS

tags for erotic material

if you don't wanna answer then that's obviously fine too :3

autumn <33.

THE FOUR TAGS

Bad word Nothing bad but i pribably cant say

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

tags for erotic material

No

now im curious (edited)

autumn <33.

if you don't wanna answer then that's obviously fine too :3

Silly images and videos apealing to the gen z in a humorus fashion

uhm just had a realization that im demisexual- i told my friends (ive known them for years) and now they think i like all of them????

7:46 AM

like what

the world likes to judge too much

8:43 AM

life was simpler before this dating app, fat is unhealthy bs

🐸SourByte🐸

uhm just had a realization that im demisexual- i told my friends (ive known them for years) and now they think i like all of them????

Contrats, now you can join the coolest club around, either way I’m proud of you

🐸SourByte🐸

uhm just had a realization that im demisexual- i told my friends (ive known them for years) and now they think i like all of them????

people are stupid and judgemental love, dw. people like to jump to conclusions too much. congratulations for coming out to them though! that takes courage. <33 keep your head up sour, love ya /p

12:40 PM

how is everyone feeling this morning? <33

i wanna cry

2:26 PM

i feel like im the hated one in my family

2:26 PM

i always get blamed for everything. especially by my aunt

2:26 PM

my cousin does something bad? its my fault to her, because her child is too spoiled by her and is an angel.

2:26 PM

it hurts so bad

am i a bad person for only focusing on one person like my mood depends on them, i depend on them, im literally attached to them only, i cant give all my love to someone else unless its them, and i simply cant try so much to please others if its not me pleasing them (its my bf btw)

7:34 PM

like

7:34 PM

someone else who is like our son to us is really attached to me

7:34 PM

and i cant feel the same way because i can only be attached to one person, and.its my partner

7:34 PM

another sign that i might have DPD. i think

7:34 PM

i feel so damn. awful

Its perfectly fine to only hold love for one person.

but i.feel.bad for it

7:36 PM

what if our son thinks i dont love him just as much, when deep down i do, but i simply cant show my love to him properly.

I understand. But that isnt going to magically change is it? So you can either feel bad for something thats not your fault. Or accept that its who you are

DËFCØN

I understand. But that isnt going to magically change is it? So you can either feel bad for something thats not your fault. Or accept that its who you are

i should try to accept myself but its so damn hard

7:36 PM

i always feel like its my fault

7:36 PM

even if i dont do antthing wrong

7:37 PM

i always feel like im being blamed for having feelings,,

7:37 PM

...

7:37 PM

funny.

7:37 PM

what the fuck can i even say

7:37 PM

thank you<33

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i always feel like im being blamed for having feelings,,

I understand, Its hard to be around people that cant accept your differences. Thats the hardest part. It will always drag you back into the path of self hatred.

DËFCØN

I understand, Its hard to be around people that cant accept your differences. Thats the hardest part. It will always drag you back into the path of self hatred.

i just feel like my love js limited. i can give unlimited (or limitless?) amount of love to my partner, but not to others, even if im a father figure to someone. i just physically cant, im only attached and dependent on one person,and when i act dry to our son it feels like im not me. i dont know who really is me, its so hard to accept myself having multiple personalities

DËFCØN

I understand, Its hard to be around people that cant accept your differences. Thats the hardest part. It will always drag you back into the path of self hatred.

he says that its okay, but i dont know

7:41 PM

it just gets draining when everyday with him is the same.

This is out of my scope of knowledge so I can really only provide comfort and support! I am listening though.

DËFCØN

This is out of my scope of knowledge so I can really only provide comfort and support! I am listening though.

thank you so much thats all i ever want, to be comforted and listened <333

Im always here, My DMs are open

1

i upset him for saying how i feel

7:52 PM

and for not wanting to talk.

7:52 PM

but its not my fault, is it..

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

but its not my fault, is it..

Its not your fault friend

i know but now his behavior makes me think im doing something wrong i feel so pathetic

8:46 PM

im so pathetic how did i let this happen

8:46 PM

im

8:47 PM

never

8:47 PM

never saying anyrhimg that bothers me to people

8:47 PM

like, if.something bothers me that a person does i wont communicate anymore

8:47 PM

i always ruin things

8:47 PM

he has BD but is that really an excuse to be careless and mean to me.rn?:((

8:48 PM

yeah hes being so mean to me.i wanna cry

Look I don't know your situation entirely but speaking from personal experience, it's not worth it. I ruined myself for someone over the course of a year because of the exact same reason

9:14 PM

It was the worst decision I ever made

9:15 PM

I highly highly highly doubt whatever happened was your fault

9:15 PM

My ex got into my head and told me it was my fault

9:15 PM

And I listened to her

yeah but hes my son :(( i legit see him as my son only and idk it just hurts. he started being extremely careless to me now, i feel like its my fault just because hes sad all the time, i tried for almost 2 months already to make him the happiest child alive, and i did, but its just.. draining. i dont think im ready for that even tho i wanna be a father figure to someone, hes just 2 years younger than me for fucks sake..

i kinda just want to dissapear

10:58 PM

i have no purpose just tend to be a burden for others, they might say otherwise but lying to protect people is bullshit

Nah you have purpose

11:03 PM

You a Discord mod

...

Hahaha jk

now i really want to dissapear

For real though what makes you say such things

life

11:04 PM

whole life from conception to present

That doesn't make much sense to me

11:17 PM

Could you elaborate?

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

i have no purpose just tend to be a burden for others, they might say otherwise but lying to protect people is bullshit

you're not a burden love. no matter what you or others say, i promise you that everyone was put here for a reason. no matter how bad it is right now or how badly someone (whether that be yourself or another person) makes you think that you have no purpose here other than to "burden others", i can promise you that you're never a burden to people. unless you've done something that is basically unforgivable, then no one should think of you as a burden for any reason. and no, i am not lying. everybody on Earth has a purpose, whether they think it or not. you know what your purpose is? well, i can't list every single one of them, but i can surely list one. your, and everybody else's, purpose on Earth is to make it a better place and brighten up peoples' day. even if it seems hard to do that, i promise you just being here makes the world a better place, especially to your loved ones. they all love and care about you so much, whether you think that or not. no matter how worthless you see yourself as, i promise you're entirely different in somebody's eyes. that somebody being myself. alex, you'll never be a burden to other people. i agree with what you said that lying to protect is lame, so that's why i'm being honest with you in this message. everybody serves a purpose, and everybody is here for a reason. you matter, and many others would definitely agree. you make a difference everyday, whether you see itt or not. you matter. you're here for a reason, and you're fulfilling that reason daily by making peoples' day just a little bit less shitty. take care of yourself alex. if you ever need to vent, come here or add me and we can talk abt it in my dms. i'm always here for you, okay? <33 (edited)

1

i appreciate it truly

11:30 PM

but it doesn't change my mind

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

life

life can be exhausting and confusing sometimes. you've got this. there's always light at the end of the tunnel <33

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

but it doesn't change my mind

i understand

no one actually has a purpose in this world

That's a lot of text

we have different beliefs then, and that's perfectly fine

11:31 PM

i just want you to know that no matter what, you will always matter. you're not a burden

JanotLeLapin

That's a lot of text

i'm an emotional and heartfelt person, to say the least

I can see that

disagreed but thank you for taking the time to care, probaly should've said i'm not rlly looking for advice sorry for wasting your time dear

Doesn't it get tiring to be that altruist though?

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

no one actually has a purpose in this world

Can I be philosophical?

Idk if altruist is a word

DËFCØN

Can I be philosophical?

why not

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

disagreed but thank you for taking the time to care, probaly should've said i'm not rlly looking for advice sorry for wasting your time dear

you didn't waste it at all love. it's always my pleasure to do anything in my power to at least try and help people feel better <33

11:33 PM

also i'll always care no matter what, so no need to thank me :))

11:33 PM

take care alex

thank you pooks

ofc pooks :3

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

no one actually has a purpose in this world

everyone deserves to have their own veiw of what the purpose of things are including life, for me i believe life is like a game, humanity has to reach the max it can be as a civilization

yeah but humanity is fucked and self destructive sooooooo

@！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐 i promise you it's not your fault for feeling the way you do. feelings are normal no matter how other people perceive them as. some people have different feelings and ways of showing affection, including the amount(s) that they show it in. if you do have a disorder, then it's definitely not your fault because you can't control how your mind and you react and behave. if you can only give so much love to one person and you've explained it to them, then i can assure you that they will understand. even if they don't, change is always a difficult and confusing thing. it takes practice and patience to understand other people, and that's their job to learn. yes, you may feel bad about it, but just know that you feel the way you feel, and you can't simply just change it one day. also, accepting yourself can also be difficult, as it's a gradual process. blaming yourself is a normal side effect of heavy emotional issues, and that's also not your fault at all. you're human. you have emotions, and they matter no matter what other people say. also, you're definitely not a bad person for focusing on one person, or your mood depending on them and how they've treated you. you can't help it, and it's fine to rely on others to a certain extent. i've said it multiple times and i'll say it again without hesitation. it's not your fault, mark. never was, never will be. it's just who you are. while that may be hard to accept, it can also be peaceful once you get to that point in your life. it's never your fault for having feelings, no matter how guilty they make you feel. while the guilt may be intense, it's also important to realize that we all feel guilt sometimes. yes, sometimes it takes longer for others to get over than some people, but that doesn't mean that it should be dismissed. you shouldn't feel guilty for something you simply cannot control. also, your aunt blaming you just means that she wants to take her anger out on somebody smaller than her, and who-

11:45 PM

-she knows isn't as priveleged as the others in your family.

11:46 PM

i understand that family issues and blame can be both irritating and painful to deal with, but just know that not everyting is your fault, and your aunt shouldn't make it out to be that way either. she's just bitter and petty.

11:46 PM

i love you mark. please know i'm always here for you no matter what, and that it's perfectly fine to have feelings and express them. it's not your fault, and you shouldn't blame yourself. <33

11:47 PM

if you ever need anything else, please feel free to tag me in any of the channels, or dm me. take care mark. i love you /p

Thats so sweet

autumn <33.

@！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐 i promise you it's not your fault for feeling the way you do. feelings are normal no matter how other people perceive them as. some people have different feelings and ways of showing affection, including the amount(s) that they show it in. if you do have a disorder, then it's definitely not your fault because you can't control how your mind and you react and behave. if you can only give so much love to one person and you've explained it to them, then i can assure you that they will understand. even if they don't, change is always a difficult and confusing thing. it takes practice and patience to understand other people, and that's their job to learn. yes, you may feel bad about it, but just know that you feel the way you feel, and you can't simply just change it one day. also, accepting yourself can also be difficult, as it's a gradual process. blaming yourself is a normal side effect of heavy emotional issues, and that's also not your fault at all. you're human. you have emotions, and they matter no matter what other people say. also, you're definitely not a bad person for focusing on one person, or your mood depending on them and how they've treated you. you can't help it, and it's fine to rely on others to a certain extent. i've said it multiple times and i'll say it again without hesitation. it's not your fault, mark. never was, never will be. it's just who you are. while that may be hard to accept, it can also be peaceful once you get to that point in your life. it's never your fault for having feelings, no matter how guilty they make you feel. while the guilt may be intense, it's also important to realize that we all feel guilt sometimes. yes, sometimes it takes longer for others to get over than some people, but that doesn't mean that it should be dismissed. you shouldn't feel guilty for something you simply cannot control. also, your aunt blaming you just means that she wants to take her anger out on somebody smaller than her, and who-

this almost made me cry all i can say is thank you youre so caring to everybody, we all need a friend like you in our lives<333

autumn <33.

-she knows isn't as priveleged as the others in your family.

i couldnt of worded it better. my cousin's family is in better living conditions than mine, shes privileged and my aunt always tries spoiling her to the fullest but im glad my cousin is genuine, im scared my aunt will manipulate her into not talking to me though (idk why i thought of that) i.cant lose her shes the only person who understands me. i just hate being seen as small and weak, it hurts so much. but maybe thats what i am.

AHHHH THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO HEAR THANK YOU THANK YOU <33 AS LONG AS YOU'RE FEELING BETTER EVEN JUST BY A LITTLE BIT THEN THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY

1

either way i dont really wanna think negatively especially at night so just thank you, autumn<3

ANYTIME DARLING!! I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR ANYBODY <33

11:57 PM

and you deserve so much better bb :c

autumn <33.

and you deserve so much better bb :c

i always feel like i've to earn that :D but i'm. being nice to people who don't deserve it

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i couldnt of worded it better. my cousin's family is in better living conditions than mine, shes privileged and my aunt always tries spoiling her to the fullest but im glad my cousin is genuine, im scared my aunt will manipulate her into not talking to me though (idk why i thought of that) i.cant lose her shes the only person who understands me. i just hate being seen as small and weak, it hurts so much. but maybe thats what i am.

you're not small and weak at all. i promise. your aunt is honestly just being a dickhead about how she treats you differently from your cousin. i'm sure your cousin wouldn't just turn on you like that, even with your aunt manipulating her. i'm sure she appreciates you as much as you do her, lovely. i promise it will all be alright darling, no matter how bad it may look right now. no matter if you don't see it right now, i promise the right time will come. your aunt will hopefully mature, and like i said, i'm almost certain that your cousin wouldn't just abandon you like that, considering how much you both appreciate and love each other

autumn <33.

you're not small and weak at all. i promise. your aunt is honestly just being a dickhead about how she treats you differently from your cousin. i'm sure your cousin wouldn't just turn on you like that, even with your aunt manipulating her. i'm sure she appreciates you as much as you do her, lovely. i promise it will all be alright darling, no matter how bad it may look right now. no matter if you don't see it right now, i promise the right time will come. your aunt will hopefully mature, and like i said, i'm almost certain that your cousin wouldn't just abandon you like that, considering how much you both appreciate and love each other

:(

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i always feel like i've to earn that :D but i'm. being nice to people who don't deserve it

you don't need to earn anything, love. you deserve love just like everybody else on this planet. empathy is a good thing to have, but some people don't deserve it. you're not one of those people because you deserve empathy. you don't have to always earn it. you can always get it from me for free lovely <33

autumn <33.

you don't need to earn anything, love. you deserve love just like everybody else on this planet. empathy is a good thing to have, but some people don't deserve it. you're not one of those people because you deserve empathy. you don't have to always earn it. you can always get it from me for free lovely <33

you're amazing.

NUH UH YOU ARE <33

12:06 AM

ALL YOU BB

idk how this is gonna sound i'm always scared to say my thoughts but i've started feeling more comfy and content venting here because of you. i hope other people here can agree because you're literally so kind and nice i love your words and i think you do cheer people up with your paragraphs, especially me, i love reading long texts, and this makes me happy<33

autumn <33.

ALL YOU BB

YOU TOO!!!<333

AWWH THANK YOU <33

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

idk how this is gonna sound i'm always scared to say my thoughts but i've started feeling more comfy and content venting here because of you. i hope other people here can agree because you're literally so kind and nice i love your words and i think you do cheer people up with your paragraphs, especially me, i love reading long texts, and this makes me happy<33

this made me so happy on another level like i literally can't explain it bro. knowing i'm making someone more comfortable and able to feel more safe with sharing their problems and not feeling as lonely makes me feel so accomplished. AND I'M GLAD YOU LIKE THE LONG PARAGRAPHS I SEND BECAUSE I ALWAYS TRY TO MAKE SURE EVERYBODY FEELS AS COMFORTED AS POSSIBLE, NO MATTER HOW TIRED I AM I'LL ALWAYS WAKE UP AND MAKE SURE TO COMFORT PEOPLE BC IT JUST MAKES ME FEEL COMPLETE <33 I'M SOSO GLAD I'M ABLE TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BETTER :DD

4

Idk how to get over my ex, he was a big part in my life. We constantly broke up tho bc he seemed so dry and uninterested. We had a rly complicated situationship Now I feel like if I try to love someone else, he'll always be in my thoughts. I just want to love someone like I loved him...

2:05 AM

I Just want to forget him entirely

I understand

2:07 AM

I got broken up with lots of times bc of my weight and for the longest time I just wanted love

2:08 AM

Now I’m dating @Soaring :3 (sorry for the ping) and I’m happy again

2:08 AM

You just gotta find the right person bro and eventually you’ll find love

I already posted this in october but im posting it again since all i got was a "take a cold shower" as a response.

2:14 AM

I feel lonely anyways, hugging pillow or not. I don't know if it's my severe lack of socialization or my games, but I just feel lonely all the time. I think I've been so infatuated with games that I don't realize that the people and the world around me changes. Sometimes I feel like I'm in my own little bubble, never talking to anyone that isn't online. Constantly stumbling over my words when talking to someone. I can barely even get my footing when I speak. I try to get away but games have taken over my daily routine, I dwell in my room, constantly yelling, shouting and overall pissed. The fact I only get like this only cements the fact that I never actually show my emotions other than happiness and bored. I'm always trying to find a way to watch a video or play games while someone is talking. I never actually get into a conversation unless it's something I like or know about. I often stay up until 3-4 just talking to ai or playing games, and walking up at 11 am to 1 pm, I can't even sleep at 9 pm, or even 12 am without trouble. I want to have fun again. (edited)

Pepsi_Bepis420XD

Idk how to get over my ex, he was a big part in my life. We constantly broke up tho bc he seemed so dry and uninterested. We had a rly complicated situationship Now I feel like if I try to love someone else, he'll always be in my thoughts. I just want to love someone like I loved him...

moving on can be difficult, to say the least. even if the person you were with didn't seem like the right match for you, it can still be difficult to just forget about them and erase them completely from your thoughts. it will definitely take time to adjust to it, as change can be both scary and exciting. you may feel unable to love again, but i promise you that whenever the right time comes, you'll know when it's time to truly start loving again. it'll be difficult to start it up again, but eventually, you'll be up and running again whenever the right person tags along. loving somebody right after a difficult break up can also be challenging, so make sure to rest your thoughts and let yourself relax. don't rush yourself. take it slow if needed. finding true love is a process, and it's not an easy one. you're doing amazing love. don't stress yourself about it too much, okay? you're awesome, man. take care and feel free to vent to me in dms or just in this channel again if anything else is bothering you. <33

1

vincentagrater [Lvl. 2]

I feel lonely anyways, hugging pillow or not. I don't know if it's my severe lack of socialization or my games, but I just feel lonely all the time. I think I've been so infatuated with games that I don't realize that the people and the world around me changes. Sometimes I feel like I'm in my own little bubble, never talking to anyone that isn't online. Constantly stumbling over my words when talking to someone. I can barely even get my footing when I speak. I try to get away but games have taken over my daily routine, I dwell in my room, constantly yelling, shouting and overall pissed. The fact I only get like this only cements the fact that I never actually show my emotions other than happiness and bored. I'm always trying to find a way to watch a video or play games while someone is talking. I never actually get into a conversation unless it's something I like or know about. I often stay up until 3-4 just talking to ai or playing games, and walking up at 11 am to 1 pm, I can't even sleep at 9 pm, or even 12 am without trouble. I want to have fun again. (edited)

technology has definitely advanced, and a lot of us are interested in it. i mean, hey, i'm constantly listening to music on my phone and laptop before, during, and after school. after you've gotten adjusted to something, it's going to take a while to get into a habit of changing again. if you want advice, then i would first suggest for you to try and wind down earlier in the night. perhaps that could help get your sleep back on track again (if you don't have insomnia, that is.) also, try to just make some daily improvements on how to socialize with people. i myself struggle with socializing due to my social anxiety. socializing isn't as easy as everybody says it is since everybody is different, and everybody likes to talk about different subjects. it can be difficult, but with progress and the right people to guide you, you can improve on these skills! that's what happened to me, and it took the entire 3 years of middle school and the first half of my freshman year of high school to begin socializing more with people outside of my friend group. your lack and disinterest of socializing and being in social situations could be some warning signs of social anxiety gradually developing. if you want, you can visit a professional and get tested for it! :)) if you start socializing more, then making friends could be easier! if you have more friends, it means more people to include you! that means that this sense of loneliness can begin to reduce after a while

2:36 AM

showing emotions can also be difficult for some people, as they simply don't know how to even begin. you could be having troubles with it because you're unsure of how to approach the situation with people as a whole, which again, takes time getting used to.

2:37 AM

i promise that with time and practice, progress will begin to show. with that progress continuing to grow, you can improve on social skills! :))

2:38 AM

also, even with progress, other people may also have the same issues as you! socializing can just be akward in general. we're all humans, after all <33

2:39 AM

take care, and if you need anything at all please feel free to add me and dm me or continue venting in this channel. i'm here for you and everybody else.

autumn <33.

technology has definitely advanced, and a lot of us are interested in it. i mean, hey, i'm constantly listening to music on my phone and laptop before, during, and after school. after you've gotten adjusted to something, it's going to take a while to get into a habit of changing again. if you want advice, then i would first suggest for you to try and wind down earlier in the night. perhaps that could help get your sleep back on track again (if you don't have insomnia, that is.) also, try to just make some daily improvements on how to socialize with people. i myself struggle with socializing due to my social anxiety. socializing isn't as easy as everybody says it is since everybody is different, and everybody likes to talk about different subjects. it can be difficult, but with progress and the right people to guide you, you can improve on these skills! that's what happened to me, and it took the entire 3 years of middle school and the first half of my freshman year of high school to begin socializing more with people outside of my friend group. your lack and disinterest of socializing and being in social situations could be some warning signs of social anxiety gradually developing. if you want, you can visit a professional and get tested for it! :)) if you start socializing more, then making friends could be easier! if you have more friends, it means more people to include you! that means that this sense of loneliness can begin to reduce after a while

I probably have insomnia

2:57 AM

I see things out of the corner of my eyes sometimes

at night or just in general???

general

perhaps that's a sign of peripheral vision

Sleep deprivation

3:32 AM

Cause hallucinations. If the person is insomnia ridden and sleep deprived. Usually top of peripheral vision

or it could be closed-eye hallucinations if it's in a dark room

i love relapsing fuck this ass server

Wha-

▄︻デ═══━一

i love relapsing fuck this ass server

Bro, I understand self harm. But dont put that on getting in a mild argument on discord.

marshall are you okay?

He left

as in left the server..?

12:30 PM

HELLOOOO HOW IS EVERYONE FEELING THIS MORNING??? <33

autumn <33.

HELLOOOO HOW IS EVERYONE FEELING THIS MORNING??? <33

im feeling better than yesterday :]

THAT'S AMAZINGGGG I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU MARKK <33

that friend messaged me again after being 'inactive' for a few days, and im not replying because they started talking about their ex again. I'm just done because I have a damn ex too but I'm not obsessive anymore, and I mostly just talk to my bf about the things my ex did. I'm done being used as therapy for others if all they know is to dm me only for this. They said sorry but they dont stop??

autumn <33.

THAT'S AMAZINGGGG I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU MARKK <33

HOW ARE YOU DOING THOU AUTUMN!!!?

AHHHH I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA THROW UP CUZ I'M SO ANXIOUS RIGHT NOW.... I TRIED TO FALL ASLEEP AND MY HEART STARTED RACING AND SO DID MY THOUGHTS.. OOPSIES :3

1:04 PM

BUT I DON'T THINK MY MOM WILL LET ME STAY HOME

autumn <33.

AHHHH I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA THROW UP CUZ I'M SO ANXIOUS RIGHT NOW.... I TRIED TO FALL ASLEEP AND MY HEART STARTED RACING AND SO DID MY THOUGHTS.. OOPSIES :3

NOOO NO NO NO NO NO WHATS WRONG ???:(((

AHHHH NOTHING IT'S FINE <33 I PROMISE

1:04 PM

THIS IS A REGULAR THING HELEPRLRP

AWWWWH but please try to calm down your anxiety please its not good especially whenn youre trying to sleep<33 try not to worry because everythings gonna be okay!! you'll get through tomorrow

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

that friend messaged me again after being 'inactive' for a few days, and im not replying because they started talking about their ex again. I'm just done because I have a damn ex too but I'm not obsessive anymore, and I mostly just talk to my bf about the things my ex did. I'm done being used as therapy for others if all they know is to dm me only for this. They said sorry but they dont stop??

bro that's such a hypocritical move on their part wth... if ur not actually sorry don't say it?? actions speak louder than words. also you shouldn't message them back imo because then they'll take it as you still want to be associated with them. i'm sorry they're being an ass about it mark :(( dm me if you need! <33

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

AWWWWH but please try to calm down your anxiety please its not good especially whenn youre trying to sleep<33 try not to worry because everythings gonna be okay!! you'll get through tomorrow

THANK YOU SOO MUCHHCHUHUCH BROOO WHAT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

autumn <33.

bro that's such a hypocritical move on their part wth... if ur not actually sorry don't say it?? actions speak louder than words. also you shouldn't message them back imo because then they'll take it as you still want to be associated with them. i'm sorry they're being an ass about it mark :(( dm me if you need! <33

it's okay!:D i'm not replying unless they stop or see what they're doing. I know I said "I'll always be here to listen" but at least ask about it ?? but no they keep doing and doing it like I'm their therapist.

autumn <33.

THANK YOU SOO MUCHHCHUHUCH BROOO WHAT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

OF COURSE DONT WORRY ABOUT IT PLEASE PLEASE just try to think that as long as you get through tomorrow everythings going to be just fine, youre brave and i know you can get through school day!!!

1:08 PM

andddd come to think of it, its almost weekend again:D

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

it's okay!:D i'm not replying unless they stop or see what they're doing. I know I said "I'll always be here to listen" but at least ask about it ?? but no they keep doing and doing it like I'm their therapist.

EXACTLYYYY like u can't use others as a damn therapist and then expect them to continue along with it like nothing is wrong???

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

andddd come to think of it, its almost weekend again:D

finally. can't do this anymore and it's only the 2nd day back....

autumn <33.

finally. can't do this anymore and it's only the 2nd day back....

oh :(( im sure youll pull through it like always!!<33 i have faith in you!

oh lol i thought i was fine but im seeing things

i miss my bf so much i dont think i can stay alive without him its so hard

Where is he?

i dont know

9:09 PM

he was sleeping but uh

9:09 PM

its 2 for him

9:09 PM

and he said he'll be up by 11 12 or 1

9:10 PM

and last night he thought he got hacked because he was logged out of everything im scared to lose him

9:10 PM

im so scared hes not coming back because his phone is messed up rn

9:10 PM

im so scared i need him badly right now

Oh

i didnt have a good day i hallucinated everytime i was alone.

9:10 PM

i just want him to text me but hes offline

9:10 PM

im scared

Shit man

nevermind!

9:11 PM

haha!

9:11 PM

haha

9:12 PM

im pathetic

9:12 PM

i worry everytime

9:12 PM

im so pathetic i cant.

You're not pathetic for worrying

9:12 PM

Why would you think that

someone get me diagnosis for DPD because this makes me more positive that ive it.

Soaring :3

Why would you think that

i worry for the littlest things:((

But that doesn't make you pathetic

That makes you human

Worrying shows you care

Being able to have compassion and care for others makes you a good person not pathetic mark

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Being able to have compassion and care for others makes you a good person not pathetic mark

i know i'm a good person but after hearing and being told so much bad stuff for being sensitive.. its so hard to think im not a coward

9:17 PM

he doesnt have a problem with it even hes the one saying that it shows how much i love and care about him but god its so hard

It’s okay to be sensitive

9:18 PM

It’s good that he doesn’t care, mark I promise you. There is no fault to being the way you are it’s human nature to care and you just have it stronger and god fucking damn it that’s ok. I promise you I swear to all things holy you are not pathetic

1

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

It’s good that he doesn’t care, mark I promise you. There is no fault to being the way you are it’s human nature to care and you just have it stronger and god fucking damn it that’s ok. I promise you I swear to all things holy you are not pathetic

i saw this rn but thank you alex<333 i dont wanna think of myself as pathetic its like my brain making me insult myself whenever i mess up or get too sensitive. i probably know im not pathetic but its hard to control what you think. but still thank you

hi mark!! i'm so sorry i wasn't able to answer earlier. i was in school all day ofc, but i just read your messages from earlier. you're not pathetic for showing emotions. as your boyfriend stated, you being concerned shows that you care. it doesn't show that you're pathetic in any way, shape, form, or fashion. you're an incredibly kind, caring, and emotionally fragile person. no matter how many people call you sensitive, just know that being sensitive due to being worried for your loved ones is normal. they just don't wanna tell you that. they wanna tell you that you're sensitive in an attempt to bring you down, but let's be real for a second here. who isn't sensitive whenever they're worried for somebody that they care for and love deeply? exactly. everybody is gonna worry every now and again, and sometimes other people's worrying is more intense than some. that's okay! it's a disorder that you literally cannot control. having emotions, concerns, and thoughts doesn't make you pathetic. being clingy doesn't make you pathetic. being reliant on others at times doesn't make you pathetic. caring and worrying for others doesn't make you pathetic. all of that stuff makes you a human with basic human emotions and thoughts. you're not pathetic at all mark, no matter how much you call yourself it. thoughts can definitely be hard to control sometimes, so that's also not your fault love. <33

12:04 AM

this is coming from an incredibly sensitive person btw, so i can definitely tell you that being labeled as sensitive sucks, but it's also normal to have human factors.

Heyyy idk if this fits in the venting channel but I've been on this server on a while and I just want to say that I really appreciate that over time people stopped glorifying alcohol and drugs as a way to cope with their issues, I think that's a good step forward and I encourage everyone that's dependent on any substance to quit ASAP because it's the worst thing and it won't help you fix anything. Anyways I just hope everyone is well

autumn <33.

hi mark!! i'm so sorry i wasn't able to answer earlier. i was in school all day ofc, but i just read your messages from earlier. you're not pathetic for showing emotions. as your boyfriend stated, you being concerned shows that you care. it doesn't show that you're pathetic in any way, shape, form, or fashion. you're an incredibly kind, caring, and emotionally fragile person. no matter how many people call you sensitive, just know that being sensitive due to being worried for your loved ones is normal. they just don't wanna tell you that. they wanna tell you that you're sensitive in an attempt to bring you down, but let's be real for a second here. who isn't sensitive whenever they're worried for somebody that they care for and love deeply? exactly. everybody is gonna worry every now and again, and sometimes other people's worrying is more intense than some. that's okay! it's a disorder that you literally cannot control. having emotions, concerns, and thoughts doesn't make you pathetic. being clingy doesn't make you pathetic. being reliant on others at times doesn't make you pathetic. caring and worrying for others doesn't make you pathetic. all of that stuff makes you a human with basic human emotions and thoughts. you're not pathetic at all mark, no matter how much you call yourself it. thoughts can definitely be hard to control sometimes, so that's also not your fault love. <33

thank you thats all i can say autumn :] <3 i wish other people were nicer and not shaming on whether someone is sensitive or not but i guess thats society nowadays.

JanotLeLapin

Heyyy idk if this fits in the venting channel but I've been on this server on a while and I just want to say that I really appreciate that over time people stopped glorifying alcohol and drugs as a way to cope with their issues, I think that's a good step forward and I encourage everyone that's dependent on any substance to quit ASAP because it's the worst thing and it won't help you fix anything. Anyways I just hope everyone is well

you are also a great person too janot don't forget that

Thanks that means a lot

1:19 AM

I got timed out for no reason in general though

1:19 AM

That sucks

JanotLeLapin

Heyyy idk if this fits in the venting channel but I've been on this server on a while and I just want to say that I really appreciate that over time people stopped glorifying alcohol and drugs as a way to cope with their issues, I think that's a good step forward and I encourage everyone that's dependent on any substance to quit ASAP because it's the worst thing and it won't help you fix anything. Anyways I just hope everyone is well

i agree. it's great that people are using more healthy coping mechanisms <33 i'm glad that people are getting sober and are taking care of themselves more. :))

4:28 AM

how is everyone feeling? today's been a long day so i wanna make sure everybody is okay

autumn <33.

how is everyone feeling? today's been a long day so i wanna make sure everybody is okay

WHAT HAPPENED

4:29 AM

if u needa vent i'm all ears hun :))

DËFCØN

I feel that, truely

4:29 AM

Mind if i tell her?

what happened?

:3

4:29 AM

I know everything >:)

is everything alright with you two? i'm here for both of you no matter what

/sar

SugarSky

Mind if i tell her?

Idc lol

autumn <33.

is everything alright with you two? i'm here for both of you no matter what

Oh yeah... i'm great. 100%

DËFCØN

Idc lol

Alr

4:30 AM

Well

autumn <33.

WHAT HAPPENED

I have been awake for 31 hours

what happened

4:31 AM

do you have insomnia?

Someone cough DËFCØN cough may be just a liiiitle bit... drunk

1

autumn <33.

do you have insomnia?

21* And no I don't believe so

OHHHH OKAYY gotcha

Yeah

DËFCØN

21* And no I don't believe so

i see

The rot consumes.

DËFCØN

21* And no I don't believe so

Hun.

4:31 AM

Please

defcon are you feeling alright? do you feel nauseous or anything? i wanna make sure ur slightly okay at least

The rot consumes

100% dont wanna cry

Im alright

Me on the other hand :3

I have to install a battery and feed my dog then goa sless

SugarSky

100% dont wanna cry

what's wrong?? :((

Emotions keep bottling up

4:33 AM

=not good

4:33 AM

So

4:34 AM

Wanna cry

4:34 AM

But cant

if you need to cry then please do so. crying is a healthy release of emotions, especially after you've bottled them up for a long time. much better than an angry outburst

4:34 AM

OHHHH

Because body goes bye bye when i cry and goes nuh uh

i see i see

So it bottles up

4:34 AM

I didnt even fucking cry when i got broken up with

4:35 AM

I've cried one time since and even then it wasnt much

i think suppressing your emotions can lead to difficulty when you wanna cry and let it out

4:35 AM

like i think it's proven

It isnt that easy

4:35 AM

I cant just let it out

4:35 AM

I physically dont know how to cry

4:36 AM

And i cant get over my ex so that isnt helping

ahhhhhh i understand what you're saying

Dm for more info

it's gonna be difficult to move on, but i promise your ex isn't worth being sad over if they didn't do anything significant to your life, either in a positive or negative manner

4:37 AM

you've got this <33

SugarSky

Dm for more info

okay :3

After 4 months i should be partially moved on

i'm like half asleep rn so i'm rlly sorry my responses are dry. physically cannot type that fast rn cuz of how tired i am

Hence why i want to finally find someond

autumn <33.

i'm like half asleep rn so i'm rlly sorry my responses are dry. physically cannot type that fast rn cuz of how tired i am

It's ok

4:37 AM

I type better when half asleep

with all of the bs that went on today, also with family issues i cant help but cry myself to sleep tonight

7:40 AM

cant really see thru tears but just wanted to say that

7:41 AM

no ones awake so i guess i'll just sort this out myself, like always

🐸SourByte🐸

with all of the bs that went on today, also with family issues i cant help but cry myself to sleep tonight

it definitely was very chaotic last night with all of the drama unfolding and stuff like that. i'm sorry about your family, sour. :(( you don't deserve to cry yourself to sleep; no one does. i get that it's very exhausting to deal with a lot of things at once, and even tension that doesn't involve you can stress you out. i hope that this doesn't happen again so we don't stress out and overwhelm other members such as you and a few specific others. just know that your family loves and cares for you, and so do all of us. please let me know if there's anything i can do to help you. dm me or vent here again if you need anything else, sour. love you. <33 /p

🐸SourByte🐸

no ones awake so i guess i'll just sort this out myself, like always

if i would've been awake i promise i would've been a better help. if you ever need to talk about anything that's bugging you, don't be afraid to come to me or anybody else about it. we all care about you, sour. and we all love you in a platonic manner. take care, sour. have a good day.

What happened

a lot of stuff. not trying to mention it because none of us want the conflict to be risen again

1:15 PM

let's js say some members weren't happy and were arguing, and it stressed out a few people

Oh

how is everyone feeling this morning?? i'm gonna check chats after school ofc so don't be shy

Im feeling so good

1:17 PM

Since I gradually stopped taking my anxiety medication I've never felt so good

1:17 PM

I can't remember the last time where I slept for only 4 hours and still woke up with plenty of energy

autumn <33.

a lot of stuff. not trying to mention it because none of us want the conflict to be risen again

I don’t remember conflict yesterday?

Me neither

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

I don’t remember conflict yesterday?

I think she was talking about the one where nolan got timed out

autumn <33.

how is everyone feeling this morning?? i'm gonna check chats after school ofc so don't be shy

i'm doing quite good :D

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

I think she was talking about the one where nolan got timed out

Yep

2:02 PM

She was

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

I think she was talking about the one where nolan got timed out

(We were dodging bringing it up again) (edited)

SugarSky

(We were dodging bringing it up again) (edited)

I know but I thought alex didnt get an answer yet :D

Shhhhhhhhh

I love men

9:15 PM

so much

how is that a vent

I love them so much its hard to look straight at them without me being weird

1

same

1

after witnessing my family's marriage failed, it's hard for me to accept love without being skeptical about it

9:22 PM

so sometimes I really do wonder, can I even have the ability to love?

also I do learn that, when you just feels so fucking sad, hopeless and there's nothing you can do, crying might help

this isnt really a vent because i'm happy about it

9:50 PM

but my ex replied to me in a gc

9:51 PM

and i said ew in response

2

SugarSky

and i said ew in response

that's a W

not to him

SugarSky

not to him

yes, its to you

i said thanks and nothing else to him

SugarSky

i said thanks and nothing else to him

you could just left at ew and it would be brutal

he said "cute puppers"

what's that even mean

cute puppy

9:54 PM

cuz i showed the gc my puppi

9:54 PM

puppy

understandable

please keep venting channel for purely venting, if you wanna talk here, just talk about the vent, please

3

it want really fit for gen vc

10:19 PM

not trying to fight btw :3

10:19 PM

promise

10:19 PM

had enough of that

ok

I need friends.... Like, real friends... Friends that I can go over to their house on the weekends without riding in a car for 3 hours or more... And Friends that will still be friends with me even when I say stupid shit But in this fandom that's just impossible, isn't it

real friends are definitely a rare thing to find, and they also take a decent amount of time to find. once you find the right people to hang out with, you'll never have to worry about this feeling again, but i'm not gonna lie to you. it'll take some time and conflict to find who's truly right for you to be around, whether they have a good reputation or not. you're awesome, and i'm sure people would love to be friends with you! it may seem difficult now, but you gotta find people who understand you and share some similarities and interests with you :))

11:37 PM

also, friends should always stick with you no matter what. having a friend doesn't mean how long you've known them. having a friend means who's truly there for you when you need them, and who isn't. the ones who stick with you are worth keeping <33

11:38 PM

no matter how much you doubt it right now, the right time will come and you'll have friends before you know it :3

11:39 PM

take care of yourself man. if you ever need anything feel free to contact this channel again, or add me so we can talk abt it in dms :)) i'm always here for you, and so are the others. we all care about you. keep your head up, alright? you've got this, and you'll be over at somebody's house staying the night before you know it <33

autumn <33.

take care of yourself man. if you ever need anything feel free to contact this channel again, or add me so we can talk abt it in dms :)) i'm always here for you, and so are the others. we all care about you. keep your head up, alright? you've got this, and you'll be over at somebody's house staying the night before you know it <33

Thanks bro. I'll try to keep this in mind

of course! feel free to let me know if you need anything else bro :)) ❤️

Gepard Charities

after witnessing my family's marriage failed, it's hard for me to accept love without being skeptical about it

that's understandable. seeing failed love can definitely change your perspective on it, including getting anxiety during relationships. it can be hard to see love as what it really is after not seeing it for so long. whenever you get the right one, you'll know. they'll make you feel truly loved, and it won't be anything like what you've been exposed to :))

1

Gepard Charities

so sometimes I really do wonder, can I even have the ability to love?

the ability to love is a fundamental aspect of human nature. <33 it may seem impossible at times, but the ability to love is never truly lost, honestly. after being exposed to things such as fragile senses of love between others, you may begin to question yourself, and it's normal to do that. :DD just know that the ability to love is something that humans were gifted, and it's basically impossible to get it out of our system, no matter how hard you try to do so. you're definitely still able to love, even when it seems tough. :))

1

Gepard Charities

also I do learn that, when you just feels so fucking sad, hopeless and there's nothing you can do, crying might help

crying is a healthy way of releasing emotions, but so is talking to somebody about it :3 if you ever need anything, you can dm me or just contact this channel again <33 i'll always be here for you if you need anything :))

1

everyone feeling alright? <33

Wobby chair

i am literally shaking i rarely see my dad cry and hes crying now

1

autumn <33.

crying is a healthy way of releasing emotions, but so is talking to somebody about it :3 if you ever need anything, you can dm me or just contact this channel again <33 i'll always be here for you if you need anything :))

I don't want to bother other people because of my own sadness (edited)

🐸SourByte🐸

i am literally shaking i rarely see my dad cry and hes crying now

what happened?

he nearly got blinded

holy. by what?

idk the specifics

7:21 PM

but he refuses to go to the doctor

i'm sorry, sour. :(( is he alright now? or at least not freaking out now?

yea hes okk

7:22 PM

im taking care of him

that's good. ur a good kid sour :)) i'm sure your dad is incredibly grateful to have you <33

Gepard Charities

I don't want to bother other people because of my own sadness (edited)

you're not bothering anybody, i promise. <33 people care about you, and even if you're an extremely new member, i'll always be here if you ever change your mind. i'm never bothered by anybody's emotions. we're all only human afterall, so the least i can do is be here for people. take care of yourself man.

1

WHY ARE SOME MEN SO ENTITLES AND MYSOGENISTIC LIKE WTF. I HATE MEN LIKE THAT AND THEY THINK THAT WOMEN ARE JUST PROPERTY TO USE AND I HATE IT

7:45 PM

Sorry

7:45 PM

But watching a video with some mysogenistic memes that she reads very sarcasticly

7:46 PM

And also homophobic memes

homophobia is so normalized it's unreal

SugarSky

WHY ARE SOME MEN SO ENTITLES AND MYSOGENISTIC LIKE WTF. I HATE MEN LIKE THAT AND THEY THINK THAT WOMEN ARE JUST PROPERTY TO USE AND I HATE IT

FOR REALL.

SugarSky

Sorry

nono ur fine dw! we all have opinions and sometimes we js need to rant! <33

autumn <33.

homophobia is so normalized it's unreal

yea, its saddening even after I have beat them up

Gepard Charities

yea, its saddening even after I have beat them up

the hero we all needed

1

I know this might sound wild, but when I don't cut, I know that my depression got worse as I'm a frequent cutter and this is somewhat my “routine” and nowadays the only thing I do regularly. So when I stop, I know that I fucked up somehow and I know that it just got worse though I might not feel like it at first, I know I'm fucked.

Thats a commons side affect of a self harm addiction, That has to be replaced by something else to fill the "hole"

Really really really missing my best friend rn

https://youtu.be/_hQF3HhQ2LU?si=jdJBazqexdWHPrNy

Dante de la Torre

4/17/21

Spiny chair

i just don’t get how my aunt prioritizes my grades over my mental, physical, and emotional health

4:41 AM

my aunt is so fucking entitled

to explain more: i remember when i used to be the “golden child” of the family, and i’ve always had expectations set on me, even since i was very little. because of this, i have a massive fear of failure, and if and when i fail something i make a bigger deal out of it than i should. every time i get told that i’m not doing a certain thing right, i spend the rest of the day in resentment for myself. and i’m faring no better in this situation where my aunt isn’t leaving me alone about my grades. does she not realize that i get so much homework that i can’t feasibly do it all in one night? why does she always guilt trip me about my grades? why does she always threaten to take away my passions? not to mention that my fear of failure led to me shutting myself away in my own room because i don’t want to mess up in front of my family, and that led to a slippery slope into constant resentment for myself. i always tell myself that i’m always the problem, that i’m not a good enough son, that i am never enough, that i should be better off non-existent, and that i am a huge disappointment in life. even though i am none of these things, my family prioritizes me being perfect over what i’d rather be, and i’m fucking sick of it.

T｡☆

I know this might sound wild, but when I don't cut, I know that my depression got worse as I'm a frequent cutter and this is somewhat my “routine” and nowadays the only thing I do regularly. So when I stop, I know that I fucked up somehow and I know that it just got worse though I might not feel like it at first, I know I'm fucked.

self-inflicted harm can cause addiction, especially after you've done it for so long. you may begin to feel incomplete without it if you don't do it on a daily basis, which is what you mentioned. whenever you don't cut, you feel somewhat empty and feel like your day isn't entirely finished with. this is a normal side effect of self-harm. anything can become an addiction if you do it enough. you're not alone. whenever i feel like doing such things, i often take a pencil, pen, or marker (thick or thin-tipped), and i just draw where i would do it with a blade. it doesn't sound like it helps, but i promise it's much better than the real thing. you're doing amazing, love. if you ever need anything, i'll always be here for you. please don't be afraid to reach out to me or anybody else. also, try to keep everything clean with stuff such as clean water, hydrogen peroxide, and other disinfecting and antibacterial medicines and creams. gauze and other bandages can also help to keep other germs away. take care of yourself, and please remember you're not alone. you've got this. i'm proud of you. <33 (edited)

1

5:35 AM

you may tell yourself you've done something wrong if you've been clean, but i promise that the mind plays tricks on us all the time. you can do this.

1

Julian

i just don’t get how my aunt prioritizes my grades over my mental, physical, and emotional health

a lot of adults do that today, unfortunately. you matter, lovely.

Julian

my aunt is so fucking entitled

sounds like it

Julian

to explain more: i remember when i used to be the “golden child” of the family, and i’ve always had expectations set on me, even since i was very little. because of this, i have a massive fear of failure, and if and when i fail something i make a bigger deal out of it than i should. every time i get told that i’m not doing a certain thing right, i spend the rest of the day in resentment for myself. and i’m faring no better in this situation where my aunt isn’t leaving me alone about my grades. does she not realize that i get so much homework that i can’t feasibly do it all in one night? why does she always guilt trip me about my grades? why does she always threaten to take away my passions? not to mention that my fear of failure led to me shutting myself away in my own room because i don’t want to mess up in front of my family, and that led to a slippery slope into constant resentment for myself. i always tell myself that i’m always the problem, that i’m not a good enough son, that i am never enough, that i should be better off non-existent, and that i am a huge disappointment in life. even though i am none of these things, my family prioritizes me being perfect over what i’d rather be, and i’m fucking sick of it.

this world is a much better place with you in it, first off. you're such an amazing person, no matter what your family or anyone else thinks. expectations and high goals placed on you by others can definitely be stressful. people need to accept that everybody is only human. we can only do so much, even when others expect more than our limits out of us. your family needs to learn how to accept the fact that nobody is going to be perfect. putting so much pressure onto a child isn't going to do anything for them except for stress them out more, lead to phobias of disappointment (which is something that you've developed), and many more other negative side effects. you'll always be good enough for everyone else, you know that? you're always good enough. you're always trying. everybody else can see it. your family chooses not to because they want more and more. they're being greedy about it. also, you already try hard enough on your academics, no matter what anyone else says. plenty of other people would agree that you're doing the best you can, and one can only do so much. your aunt continues to push you and push you until you can't handle it anymore, and that is in no way acceptable. she's gaslighting you because she's petty and immature about the situation all the time. she's mad that she didn't get her way, so she uses empty threats and intimidation. you shouldn't be ashamed of yourself for anything, love. you're doing the best you can, and that's that. there's nothing more to it.

5:44 AM

you can't just magically begin doing more than the average person. you're a human too. your feelings matter.

5:45 AM

even if your family doesn't wanna admit it, you're doing the most. you continue to put up with them while having to deal with all of that pressure on you, and you're extremely strong for doing so.

5:46 AM

no matter what anyone else ever tells you, your best is the best. your limits are constantly pushed, and while that's sometimes viewed as a good thing, it can also do a lot to a child's mind.

5:47 AM

you're doing amazing. i'm so proud of you for coming this far while having to deal with such behavior from your family. <33

5:47 AM

i'm always here for you no matter what, you know that right? if anything else is ever bugging you, never be afraid to contact me. love you.

/p

ur an amazing person autumn

THANK YOU SO MUCHH! it's my job to take care of people and make them feel more comfortable, so i appreciate that you think that. <33

autumn <33.

THANK YOU SO MUCHH! it's my job to take care of people and make them feel more comfortable, so i appreciate that you think that. <33

Dont forget to just live sometimes.

ah dw about me! :))

Bros i am so stressed

1

what's wrong love?? you can always talk to me <33

good morningg!!! how is everyone feeling?? <33 (edited)

Tired but in a different way

2:27 PM

"Naps don't help when your soul is tired"

i see. i'm sorry you're going through that :(( do you know what's causing it at the moment?

autumn <33.

good morningg!!! how is everyone feeling?? <33 (edited)

i’m feeling horrible

what's wrong love? talk to me <33

RAHHHH I REDOWNLOADED IT WHATS ERONG EITH MEERE

REDOWNLOADED WHAT

8:22 PM

And nothing is wrong with you :3

Hehe

HOW IS EVERYONE DOINGG??!?! :3

Stressed, You?

what's wrong??

1

9:41 PM

do you wanna talk about it? i'm always here for you <33

1

autumn <33.

HOW IS EVERYONE DOINGG??!?! :3

anxious for first day of school . not about the classes but about the people there :[

hi again

Hey, I bet you feel icky huh?

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

anxious for first day of school . not about the classes but about the people there :[

the people at school can definitely be... interesting, to say the least. you've got this mark. i know you do! <33 school and the environment that envelopes you can definitely make you anxious but i promise you're stronger than you think :)) you're gonna do amazing! i'm soso proud of you, and it'll be over before you know it! <33

nagger

hi again

hi love!! what's been bothering ya?

nagger

hi again

Just remember its not your fault. They are taking advantage of you.

DËFCØN

Hey, I bet you feel icky huh?

yeah

Wanna talk about it in DMs?

yeah

it's not your fault at all darling. people can be extremely weird and icky at times

9:47 PM

i'm sorry that happened to you. i hope you feel better soon. <33

autumn <33.

the people at school can definitely be... interesting, to say the least. you've got this mark. i know you do! <33 school and the environment that envelopes you can definitely make you anxious but i promise you're stronger than you think :)) you're gonna do amazing! i'm soso proud of you, and it'll be over before you know it! <33

thank yiu :DD im just scared of going back there ill need to get used to school again but thank you autumn<33

ofc! getting used to it can be pretty challenging sometimes, but you've got this mark! <33 :DD

2

So tell me why I got ghosted by someone who I thought we were connecting. And the fact I still have them in my friends, I’m like idk. They are so freaking sweet and I fell in love with them love. I know they are going to look at the message and be like ugh this annoying person. Look I’m sorry I just wanted to connect with you and just be friends with you

but all because I’m annoying asf. Ik I’m not the main character but like I just hate when people leave me on ghosted like bruh say you don’t want to talk anymore.

tonyboi<3

So tell me why I got ghosted by someone who I thought we were connecting. And the fact I still have them in my friends, I’m like idk. They are so freaking sweet and I fell in love with them love. I know they are going to look at the message and be like ugh this annoying person. Look I’m sorry I just wanted to connect with you and just be friends with you

but all because I’m annoying asf. Ik I’m not the main character but like I just hate when people leave me on ghosted like bruh say you don’t want to talk anymore.

just unfriend them, that solve it, I think

2

So here's a vent, my "boyfriend" here recently has been very rude and non-affectionate to me, I tried confronting him about it, to no avail. Just the other night I was missing my cat and cried myself to sleep. When I woke up and told him i missed my cat, he couldn't give 2 fucks. I decided that I didn't wanna be in a toxic relationship so I texted him (yes over text idc) that were done. So his response? Turns out he was never bi like me. He's straight. He said he used me and played me like a pawn and used me as a joke. I'm just tired of all these toxic relationships, if it weren't for my bestie I would've killed myself by now. I meant to say this in vent awhile ago I was just trying to get a mentally stable mind first because I was shaking at the time. (edited)

brushing your own teeth is so boring

Men idk why nobody likes me like I think bcs I'm a fat ugly creature or idk bcs I'm gay bcs I dress differently or bcs I Listen to different music than the others idk like I get bullied for all that things and sometimes beaten up ... my grades are okay and fine but nobody like me some fuckin 10 or 11 year old kids bully me for being gay and idk like some kids take stuff from me like my cap but this is rare idk men why nobody wants to be my friend . Then I have private problems like my perants are divorced and idk my mum she is angry all time at me for no reason I did nothing wrong and idk she calls me failure and shit.My cousin bullies me too bcs I'm gay and he tell me to kms the whole time...idk if I can take this longer (sorry for my bad English) (edited)

My mother just screamed at me for drinking water to loud (i just drinking water)

:<

Then don't drink too loud simple

2

tonyboi<3

So tell me why I got ghosted by someone who I thought we were connecting. And the fact I still have them in my friends, I’m like idk. They are so freaking sweet and I fell in love with them love. I know they are going to look at the message and be like ugh this annoying person. Look I’m sorry I just wanted to connect with you and just be friends with you

but all because I’m annoying asf. Ik I’m not the main character but like I just hate when people leave me on ghosted like bruh say you don’t want to talk anymore.

i'm sorry that this happened to you love. :(( that's awful, and it hurt you tremendously. perhaps they were just being distant because they didn't want to hurt you by telling you they didn't wanna talk to you anymore? they should've communicated a bit more clearly though. also, it's sometimes hard to let people go, even after they've wronged you in some way. it'll hurt for a bit, so just take it slow and don't rush it too much. move on when you're ready to, as it can be a painful process, even with friends that you've only known for a short amount of time. you don't need to apologize for having feelings. it's normal to feel hurt after someone doesn't speak to you after you thought you had something special going on. also you're not annoying, so dw abt it! <33 everyone is gonna get called "annoying" sooner or later. it's just because you haven't found the right people to connect with yet. it took me a long time to find people who would put up with me, and i found out that i wasn't annoying. it was simply the fact that the people i had been friends with before lacked the patience to deal with me. you're not acting like the main character, either. i promise. it's perfectly normal to feel hurt after getting ghosted. your feelings are valid, not attention seeking. if you need anything, please contact me or the vent channel again. i'm here for you, okay? <33

1

JanotLeLapin

Then don't drink too loud simple

I was jk btw

11:36 PM

Living with a psychotic mom sucks

cyane

So here's a vent, my "boyfriend" here recently has been very rude and non-affectionate to me, I tried confronting him about it, to no avail. Just the other night I was missing my cat and cried myself to sleep. When I woke up and told him i missed my cat, he couldn't give 2 fucks. I decided that I didn't wanna be in a toxic relationship so I texted him (yes over text idc) that were done. So his response? Turns out he was never bi like me. He's straight. He said he used me and played me like a pawn and used me as a joke. I'm just tired of all these toxic relationships, if it weren't for my bestie I would've killed myself by now. I meant to say this in vent awhile ago I was just trying to get a mentally stable mind first because I was shaking at the time. (edited)

dude that's literally awful wtf. i'm so sorry. you didn't deserve that at all. :(( he's so inconsiderate and selfish it's actually unreal. using someone like that is not funny or cool in any way no matter what he tries to say in order to justify himself for such actions. you did the right thing cutting him off. doesn't matter if it was over text or not. as long as the relationship is over, then that's a good first step to getting over him. takes a while to get over someone, as i'm still getting over someone from last year, but i promise it will all be okay. that was horrible of him to lie like that to simply get you vulnerable and wait to hurt you. he was in the wrong entirely, and i'm sorry you had to deal with that. it will take a while to find the right one, but i promise that day will come. someone will come along and love you as you are. they will care for you and never get tired of you. they'll listen to you about your cat, and they'll soothe you in a way that you wish could last forever. also, about your cat, i'm sorry that you miss him. :(( if they're dead, then i promise they're in a better place now. they're happy and safe, and they're always waiting for you. <33 if there's anything i can do, please let me know. take care.

Bauer Gurke

My mother just screamed at me for drinking water to loud (i just drinking water)

when are parents gonna understand that children make mistakes or do things that make them mad, intentionally or not... ur mom needs to get her act right together bru

drink as loud as you want ENJOY THAT WATERRR

My bf left me

11:45 PM

My bf left me

:(

Whyyy WHY

/p

I tried my best being good to him

11:47 PM

I tried

11:47 PM

To be normal

11:51 PM

Idk guys

that's his loss. not yours. you did nothing wrong love. <33

Nah i think he just dont wanted to date such a fat ugly useless creature (edited)

11:53 PM

As me

Bauer Gurke

Men idk why nobody likes me like I think bcs I'm a fat ugly creature or idk bcs I'm gay bcs I dress differently or bcs I Listen to different music than the others idk like I get bullied for all that things and sometimes beaten up ... my grades are okay and fine but nobody like me some fuckin 10 or 11 year old kids bully me for being gay and idk like some kids take stuff from me like my cap but this is rare idk men why nobody wants to be my friend . Then I have private problems like my perants are divorced and idk my mum she is angry all time at me for no reason I did nothing wrong and idk she calls me failure and shit.My cousin bullies me too bcs I'm gay and he tell me to kms the whole time...idk if I can take this longer (sorry for my bad English) (edited)

people need to learn how to accept differences. just because you act, dress, or look different, or if you listen to different music, doesn't mean you're weird. also getting beaten up? what the actual hell is wrong with those people? you don't deserve that all darling i'm so sorry ohmgosh. bullying someone for being gay is so oudated, too. you can't help who you love. it's not your fault, so they shouldn't be doing immature shit like that. it'll take a while, but the right people will come along. you'll have new friends before you know it! you just gotta keep searching. <33 i personally can't really comfort that well on the divorced part, but i know i would absolutely break if my parents were split apart, so i'm extremely sorry that they're apart. :(( no mother should be angry at her child for nothing. you're also not a failure, no matter what anyone says, even if it's your own mom. you're your own person, and she doesn't get to decide what you are and what you aren't. your cousin also needs to grow up and realize that first of all, you can't control who you love, and secondly, people are different. being different means being unique, and being unique is what makes you along with everyone else on this planet beautiful. he seriously needs to stop with all the threats and bullying and shit. please don't listen to him, hun. he thinks that what he's doing makes him cool when in reality, he'll probably be looked down on for it.

12:02 AM

you're amazing just the way you are. no matter what happens, please don't change yourself for people. people come and go, and they'll also switch up on you sometimes. just how life works sometimes.

12:03 AM

you're doing great. please don't listen to what those mean people have to say. <33

Bauer Gurke

Nah i think he just dont wanted to date such a fat ugly useless creature (edited)

you may describe yourself as that, but i promise you that you're absolutely amazing. no matter what you or anybody else thinks, everyone is amazing in their own way. please never forget that.

12:04 AM

if you ever need anything, please feel free to dm me or contact this channel again, alright? you're doing amazing love. <33

I never became so much love I am fr just crying ❤️

AHHHH DON'T CRY LOVELY

12:11 AM

I'M HERE FOR YOU OKAYY??? <33

12:11 AM

I'M SO GLAD I WAS ABLE TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER THOUGH!!!! <33

Thank you so much

OFCC!!! <33

how is everyone feeling?? <33

stressed

3:47 AM

scared

autumn <33.

dude that's literally awful wtf. i'm so sorry. you didn't deserve that at all. :(( he's so inconsiderate and selfish it's actually unreal. using someone like that is not funny or cool in any way no matter what he tries to say in order to justify himself for such actions. you did the right thing cutting him off. doesn't matter if it was over text or not. as long as the relationship is over, then that's a good first step to getting over him. takes a while to get over someone, as i'm still getting over someone from last year, but i promise it will all be okay. that was horrible of him to lie like that to simply get you vulnerable and wait to hurt you. he was in the wrong entirely, and i'm sorry you had to deal with that. it will take a while to find the right one, but i promise that day will come. someone will come along and love you as you are. they will care for you and never get tired of you. they'll listen to you about your cat, and they'll soothe you in a way that you wish could last forever. also, about your cat, i'm sorry that you miss him. :(( if they're dead, then i promise they're in a better place now. they're happy and safe, and they're always waiting for you. <33 if there's anything i can do, please let me know. take care.

Thx

autumn <33.

how is everyone feeling?? <33

Idk pretty bad or something or okay I'm not sure

Bauer Gurke

Idk pretty bad or something or okay I'm not sure

do you wanna talk about it? i have school today but i always check my chats after i get back home <33

cyane

Thx

ofc! <33

1:05 PM

@SugarSky what's wrong? if you need to talk about it, i'm always here for you

Gimmie a bit

1:07 PM

It's gonna be in spoilers when i do type ot

alright! <33

@autumn <33. Tw: ptsd and abuse a few years ago, my step dad abused me while drunk and sober about 3 times that year. Either it be him scaring me into the couch and him hitting me and them biting me as i tried to bite him to get him the fuck off of me because he kept hitting me for what felt like an hour but was probably 1 to 2 minutes. And he also did it on my bed by scaring me into the corner of it and doing the same shit. THE BITE LEFT A MARK ON MY ARM FOR A YEAR AND I HAD A JACKET ON!!! SUPRISED THERE WASNT BLOOD! And some of the time when he gets visibly mad or tries to argue or scares me i get scared and get super shakey and even sometimes, like last night, i go nonverbal. Yesterday he scared me by taking out the trash because it was full and it was my last warning when i didnt realize it was full. He said my car was going to be parked (basically i wont be able to drive anywhere until they say so because i didnt see that the trashcan was full??) And today i didnt remember my mom waking me up and my stepdad got mad at me and said TO MY FACE "i am about to punch you". And a few minutes after that i brought up to him "if we wanna talk about faults then you're the fault that i have ptsd and go non verbal" which about 10 minutes later he came in and tried to compare ptsd to learning to ride a bike. Apperently you're just supposed to "get up and try again if you experience trauma"?? Like, i cant just FORGIVE OR FORGET THAT YOU ABUSED ME MULTIPLE TIMES LIKE WHAT THE FUCK! And now my computer has to be out of my room by 9 PM so i can go to sleep earlier when ME GOING TO SLEEP EARLIER THAN 12 IS THE WHOLE REASON THIS IS FICKING HAPPENING RIGHT NOW! (My vent. Not autumns) (edited)

8:47 PM

Sorry for the novel

They did consent for this to be posted right?

Yes

8:50 PM

Autumn? Yeah

8:51 PM

It's my story

8:51 PM

Should have clerified

8:51 PM

Mb

Ohhh right mb

Added a bit of info to clear up confusion :3

had thr worst day at school and it was barely 2nd day back. i felt so abused. i was hit and just got embarrassed from literally anything people wont stop staring into my soul being disgusted by me i got asked "are you okay?" by my friend she knew something was up i said yes then no because i was about to cry in class and omfg right now im overthinking like shit im seriously gonna hace a big breakdown i dont understand anything anymore i was sooo happy during holidays but now my unhappiness is back. oh and im scared becauseee my mom drank too much again lol haha

lovely. i just want to live with my boyfriend already i am so sick of everybody even my friends dont seem like my friends anymore. i feel REPLACED like always.

9:16 PM

i just need him awake please.

9:16 PM

i need him so bad.

9:19 PM

hes just sleeping

9:19 PM

rright?

9:19 PM

hes been sleeping for a while now

9:19 PM

i hope hes okay

9:19 PM

please im going mad

9:20 PM

and i always worry from NOTHING

its good

-

So far I've lasted ten days without a boy to kiss

10:42 PM

änd I think I am slowly but surely going nuts

10:44 PM

Yesterday, I took my first accordion (an old polish model which I don't usually play on anymore) and I played the first song that I learned

10:44 PM

which is really emotional

10:45 PM

I started crying half way through

10:46 PM

This lack of boys is NOT having a positive effect on my mental health

oh no

11:00 PM

i'm so sorry hun! /p I know exactly what you're feeling because i went through a breakup in august of last year and took so long to recover from it because of how attached i was to him and how everything ended abruptly with little warning and i never entirely cried but i was depressed for a few months

SugarSky

@autumn <33. Tw: ptsd and abuse a few years ago, my step dad abused me while drunk and sober about 3 times that year. Either it be him scaring me into the couch and him hitting me and them biting me as i tried to bite him to get him the fuck off of me because he kept hitting me for what felt like an hour but was probably 1 to 2 minutes. And he also did it on my bed by scaring me into the corner of it and doing the same shit. THE BITE LEFT A MARK ON MY ARM FOR A YEAR AND I HAD A JACKET ON!!! SUPRISED THERE WASNT BLOOD! And some of the time when he gets visibly mad or tries to argue or scares me i get scared and get super shakey and even sometimes, like last night, i go nonverbal. Yesterday he scared me by taking out the trash because it was full and it was my last warning when i didnt realize it was full. He said my car was going to be parked (basically i wont be able to drive anywhere until they say so because i didnt see that the trashcan was full??) And today i didnt remember my mom waking me up and my stepdad got mad at me and said TO MY FACE "i am about to punch you". And a few minutes after that i brought up to him "if we wanna talk about faults then you're the fault that i have ptsd and go non verbal" which about 10 minutes later he came in and tried to compare ptsd to learning to ride a bike. Apperently you're just supposed to "get up and try again if you experience trauma"?? Like, i cant just FORGIVE OR FORGET THAT YOU ABUSED ME MULTIPLE TIMES LIKE WHAT THE FUCK! And now my computer has to be out of my room by 9 PM so i can go to sleep earlier when ME GOING TO SLEEP EARLIER THAN 12 IS THE WHOLE REASON THIS IS FICKING HAPPENING RIGHT NOW! (My vent. Not autumns) (edited)

may God have mercy on you, oh my gosh. that's literally so awful what the fuck. that's sickening. how could he do such a thing to somebody continuously? i've heard of abuse stories before, but damn this one is literally tragic. :(( i'm so sorry sky. you didn't and still definitely do not deserve any of that. that punishment is literally so unnecessary too wtf?? it's not your fault that you didn't see the trash can full. i can js tell he blames everything on everybody. also, if a full trash can was bothering him that much, why doesn't he just take it out himself? why does he have to take it out on someone younger, smaller, and weaker than him? so fucking immature on his part wth. also forgetting things is literally part of being a human. i think i have adhd and it seriously messes with my memory function because i literally cannot control it, and neither can you. humans forget things daily. he acts like he hasn't forgotten all the damn irreversible trauma that he's given you. (hypocritical much...) also threatening to hit somebody isn't going to teach them anything except for make them even more afraid of you than they already are. also that comparison is so petty and shouldn't even be a comparison in the first place. people can't always just get up and try again. it's not that easy. recovering from trauma is a literal HEALING PROCESS. if anything he should've compared it to a fractured limb.

11:45 PM

he shouldn't compare a literal mental disorder caused by him to anything in all honesty, but still. comparing it to something that small? nope. i js can't see it. it's not gonna be easy to forgive or forget, and honestly i would BARELY forgive him if he even starts to get his act-right together. actions speak louder than fucking words. don't compare trauma to cycling, just be a better guardian and person in general. it's not that difficult, but i do suppose some people such as your step-dad lack sympathy and the proper ability to process things. and dude why is he blaming your sleep schedule on everything that HE has done to you? he's so fucking immature i literally cannot rn

11:46 PM

he acts like a toddler in a candy store bro i swear

11:47 PM

please stay safe sky. i love you so much /p and i care about you a lot. you don't deserve anything you've gone through and are currently going through. your step-dad is just an ignorant and abusive person. take care of yourself man. please also never ever be afraid to tell me if anything is going on, as your situation sounds incredibly tough right now. <33

11:48 PM

i'm always here for you. please stay safe and take care, sky.

And i thought i wrote a novel hehe /t

12:25 AM

You wrote a harry potter book lol

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

had thr worst day at school and it was barely 2nd day back. i felt so abused. i was hit and just got embarrassed from literally anything people wont stop staring into my soul being disgusted by me i got asked "are you okay?" by my friend she knew something was up i said yes then no because i was about to cry in class and omfg right now im overthinking like shit im seriously gonna hace a big breakdown i dont understand anything anymore i was sooo happy during holidays but now my unhappiness is back. oh and im scared becauseee my mom drank too much again lol haha

lovely. i just want to live with my boyfriend already i am so sick of everybody even my friends dont seem like my friends anymore. i feel REPLACED like always.

mark you don't deserve that at all love. i'm so sorry that happened to you. :(( you may have experienced social anxiety if you got embarrassed and feared judgment from others. are you any better now? i'm so sorry i didn't answer earlier. i hope everything eventually got better, and i hope your boyfriend was there for you. <33 you're amazing darling, you know that right?

12:28 AM

i'm always here for you mark. if anything else is bugging you please don't be afraid to tell me.

Guess who had a mini panic attack in the shower

what happened love? if you wanna talk abt it i'm right here for you

Thoughs

3:48 AM

Of (insert vent here)

3:48 AM

Overthinking

abt what??

Rushed and got out before anything bad could happen

autumn <33.

abt what??

Insert vent here

3:49 AM

Spoiler...

3:49 AM

Yk

3:49 AM

The novel

ohhhh right

3:49 AM

hey listen your step-dad is js being an ass, alright? you're doing amazing hun

3:50 AM

he needs to learn how to treat people better

Real shit

js know no matter what, it's not ur fault and there are so many people who care for you

3:50 AM

i'm always here for you sky <33

I know

3:50 AM

It just

3:50 AM

Happens all the time

superduper

Real shit

you alright man??

autumn <33.

you alright man??

Well my dad left

3:51 AM

So.

oh shit i'm so sorry abt that :((

And with me seeing my ex everywhere i go it just... doesnt help anything with my panic attacks. I have very little at school when i see him. But if i see him outside of school i get VERY SHAKEY

3:51 AM

He didnt even do anything bad to me

SugarSky

Happens all the time

that's usually a common side effect of ptsd i think

Think so too

3:53 AM

Scared to get on my pc now even though i need to get on genshin and claim shit

3:54 AM

I'll be in vc in a few minutes. Just need to recover a bit

alright! i hope you feel better darling <33

3:54 AM

i'm sorry i can't do anything

Nobody can do anything to help

1

please just let me know if i can do anything to at least try and comfort you :))

Thanks

ofc!

Hehe

4:10 AM

Panic attacks are getting more frequent from him

4:12 AM

WHAT I WAS OVERTHINKING IN THE SHOWER PARTLY CAME TRUE

what did he do??

4:12 AM

or what happened

4:12 AM

sorrysorry my brain is tired rn

Came into my room and said "its 10, and get off the computer

bro

When A, my computer lid was shut

4:13 AM

B my mouse and keyboard are both off

4:13 AM

And C i cant go to sleep this early

dude how is he gonna continuously try to berate you if you've done everything he asked you to do?

I'm just gonna stay up until my normal time. I dont fucking care at this point

you have your own decisions. you're your own person, so he can't decide what you do

4:15 AM

even if he threatens you

He can take my stuff and break it

he needs to learn that empty threats ain't gonna do anything

SugarSky

He can take my stuff and break it

i was wrong then. sorry :((

Whoch if he breaks my keyboard and mouse then that's destruction of private property

that's a crime right?

He also said that since i took my jacket off once in the winter because i was getting warm, he threatened to take all of my jackets come summer time. Which jackets are a comfort thing. I dont use them for warmth. I use them to keep my mind from going everywhere and help my arms not itch every 10 seconds

autumn <33.

that's a crime right?

Mhm

SugarSky

He also said that since i took my jacket off once in the winter because i was getting warm, he threatened to take all of my jackets come summer time. Which jackets are a comfort thing. I dont use them for warmth. I use them to keep my mind from going everywhere and help my arms not itch every 10 seconds

dude why is he so triggered by everything. he acts like everything you do is life threatning towards him

Gimmie a minute, please

take as much time as you need, love <33

I cry for the people, metaphorically, of course

4:41 AM

I wish we lived in a world that wasn't so decadent and weak. And that we always strived to innovate and be better.

4:41 AM

I pray for the people. I do.

And this is in vent why?

DËFCØN

And this is in vent why?

Because the people are here

4:42 AM

I want them to know I care.

4:44 AM

And that I am praying for them to get better. I don't like where society is heading

4:45 AM

It brings me a pain that falls upon my shoulders to deal with

i am once again worrying because my bf went offline for like 4 hours already!

1:22 PM

yay!

autumn <33.

mark you don't deserve that at all love. i'm so sorry that happened to you. :(( you may have experienced social anxiety if you got embarrassed and feared judgment from others. are you any better now? i'm so sorry i didn't answer earlier. i hope everything eventually got better, and i hope your boyfriend was there for you. <33 you're amazing darling, you know that right?

thank you once again autumn, i only saw this now :]<3!

1:22 PM

i just feel so hopeless

1:22 PM

im against my own brain rn.

1:22 PM

all the time with the non stop worrying

1:22 PM

and overthinking

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i am once again worrying because my bf went offline for like 4 hours already!

i know you're panicking right now, but i promise it will be okay, mark. he'll come back in no time <33 he may just be busy right now? i promise you're probably the only thing that's on his mind right now and he can't wait to get back online to talk to you

.

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

thank you once again autumn, i only saw this now :]<3!

ofc darling <33

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i just feel so hopeless

you may feel hopeless, but i promise he'll be back mark. <33

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

all the time with the non stop worrying

it's not your fault love. you're worried about your boyfriend, and that's normal. do you do it more often than others? yes. is that a bad thing? of course not. <33

autumn <33.

i know you're panicking right now, but i promise it will be okay, mark. he'll come back in no time <33 he may just be busy right now? i promise you're probably the only thing that's on his mind right now and he can't wait to get back online to talk to you

.

he said hes gonna sleep (it was 10 am at the time) then i was in math class he texted me at 10:38 that hes in the bathroom i managed to answer for a bit until like 10:40 we talked and then he went offline i thought he'd be back but no he probably finished in the bathroom and went to bed right? right..? its been 4 hours since then hes okay i think, just sleeping. he always tells me not to worry but i find myself worrying again

autumn <33.

it's not your fault love. you're worried about your boyfriend, and that's normal. do you do it more often than others? yes. is that a bad thing? of course not. <33

i just feel like im failing him and myself because he tells me not to worry, he does tell me the stuff he does so i wouldnt worry, yet i worry whenever he goes offline or doesnt answer, and i worry again and again, even if i promised i wouldnt. i know in the end he'll xome back, he said there will always be a reason for him to be gone but not.forever, that gives me hope

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

he said hes gonna sleep (it was 10 am at the time) then i was in math class he texted me at 10:38 that hes in the bathroom i managed to answer for a bit until like 10:40 we talked and then he went offline i thought he'd be back but no he probably finished in the bathroom and went to bed right? right..? its been 4 hours since then hes okay i think, just sleeping. he always tells me not to worry but i find myself worrying again

worrying can be hard not to do. it can even be exhausting and irritating at times for yourself to worry so much, but it's something you can't control. <33 he probably had a long day today, and perhaps he went to bed? i think he's just resting so when he wakes up, he'll have plenty of time and energy to talk to you. :)) i promise mark, he's there for you. he's probably just sleeping right now! <33 i know it's incredibly difficult to not worry, but i just want you to know that he's definitely still thinking of you. he's just resting because he probably had a long day! <33

1:33 PM

i just repeated myself sorry bro i just woke up like 40 minutes ago

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i just feel like im failing him and myself because he tells me not to worry, he does tell me the stuff he does so i wouldnt worry, yet i worry whenever he goes offline or doesnt answer, and i worry again and again, even if i promised i wouldnt. i know in the end he'll xome back, he said there will always be a reason for him to be gone but not.forever, that gives me hope

i'm glad that there's at least one thing that puts you at ease. <33 it's extremely challenging not to let your mind control you, as it's a major part of yourself and your behavior. it's hard to keep promises sometimes too, especially if it's on the topic of having a fear of being alone and trying not to panic. he's gonna come back mark, i promise. <33 just give it a bit of time and you'll be talking to him again in no time.

i hope. oh god i hope i hope i hope. i

1:58 PM

im scared he'll get mad at me for worrying again

1:58 PM

i feel like i'm too obsessive

1:58 PM

but he said he liked that about me. that it shows how much i love him.

1:58 PM

but im so damn scared i

1:59 PM

i stopped thinking about it but now coming back on discord im about to cry seeing him offline. i cant do this without him

2:03 PM

I CANT CONTROL MYSELF

i am done.

3:13 PM

i need him so bad hes not here i dont know how i will survive

Why

3:13 PM

@！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i literally cant stop overthinking

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i literally cant stop overthinking

About?

what i said above

Just go to his house.

what?

3:15 PM

he doesnt live in my country

I don't understand.

we are long distance

3:15 PM

im just worried because hes been gone for like 6 hours now

I don't know what to say.

it"s okay

6 hours isn't really that long.

it os for me.

I'd give it a few days before making any assumptions. (edited)

i cant go on without him even for 5 minutes

3:17 PM

im sorry?

Mark

3:17 PM

Just breath don’t be sorry

im trying so hard

It won’t be long and he’ll be back

3:18 PM

What other than him tends to calm you down?

I need him back so bad im having a bad day at home AGAIN i just dont know anymore and the fact that i needed him while i was at school too im just scared he went offline without telling me if hes going to sleep or not thats what im worried about

What's the difference on time.

Mhm I get that

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

What other than him tends to calm you down?

distracting myself with uhh making random picrews but hes the only one who actually helps me

Timezones I mean.

Uhh

3:19 PM

well hes in kansas i assume its 8 am there?

3:19 PM

hes

3:19 PM

pribably sleep8ng

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

distracting myself with uhh making random picrews but hes the only one who actually helps me

Just scroll through the site and just do what feels right

but im still so scared idk IDK

So he went offline 6 hours ago, at 2 AM

3:19 PM

He is sleeping.

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Just scroll through the site and just do what feels right

thats what i did yesterdsay it kinda helped X3

superduper

He is sleeping.

I hope he is just sleeping.

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

thats what i did yesterdsay it kinda helped X3

Welp there y’a go, temporary solution but better than nothing

i feel so ashamed i spammed him a lot with worry texts again

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Welp there y’a go, temporary solution but better than nothing

true<33

What else would he be doing. Sitting in a room twiddling his thumbs? I think he's sleeping.

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

I hope he is just sleeping.

He won’t be doing anything else, if he’s not talking you it’s because he’s sleeping he loves you

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i feel so ashamed i spammed him a lot with worry texts again

And that’s fine

3:20 PM

Worry is normal and ok

3:20 PM

No one is going to demonise you for it

im scared he'll be mad becauss he did say hes gonna sleep at 10 am for me and 38 mins later he came on saying hes in the bathroom and i replied then he went offline that just means he went to bed right?? i

That's a pretty logical conclusion yes.

i believe hes asleep but my mind legit wont stop making me overthink

What time is it for you? (edited)

4 pm

Hm an 8 hour difference.

he didnt rven tell me if he has school today :(

Well it is Wednesday so we can assume that he probably does. (edited)

uh

3:24 PM

he didnt have it yesterday

3:24 PM

because his school got closed

Hm yeah there was a big storm. (edited)

since theres too much snow at his place he said its 50/50 today

Well.

3:24 PM

If it's closed, I'm sure he's just sleeping in.

he better be but if hes sleeping in and no school he'll be awake by 1 or 2 pm his time which will make me overthink more because thats super late for me and i cant handle a whole evening and afternoon not talking with him.

3:25 PM

i even overthink when hes at school..

I can't process what you just said.

oh im sorry

It is a day, a hypothetical day, for right now, it's only been 6 hours.

6 is too much for me..

I don't understand.

i cant handle it i wanna understand that hes sleeping THATS FINE but i just cant do it without him

Can't do what?

idk i just feel like i cant survive hours without him

3:28 PM

i'm always crying after him

It's not my place really but I think that may be a problem. I can't explore this topic further. (edited)

i'm sorry

Sorry.

Today some kids spit on me I got beaten up too and I got bullied for being gay my best online friend ghost me for like 4 days I can't without him he is my pookie

I shall murder

3:55 PM

Them. Not you

English

4:07 PM

First warning

Yup

Next warning pinging a mod

4:07 PM

Or alex

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Yup

Did you see the translation too?

SugarSky

Did you see the translation too?

Nope

"I have gonorrhea"

4:08 PM

Copied it just in time

4:08 PM

That isnt that

That’s no autocorrect

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

This is what i have stated above

4:09 PM

Thanks

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

Take the warning. Dont do it again. If so, alpha or art are being brought in

4:10 PM

Sorry for mini modding, alex (edited)

It’s alr no rules against, he’s just gonna be banned it’s a fresh account

Ah. Alr

I dont think I'll be 'okay' but thank you to everyone who helped me or tried to. :D I'm either thinking he's asleep like oversleeping because schools are closed today orrrr he's awake but theres a power outage.

remind me to legit stop when i say "what if"

I just want to start a new life

8:22 PM

I hate almost everyone I live around

Local British Lad

I hate almost everyone I live around

Real and true.

superduper

Real and true.

I just wanna move away and start a new life

8:31 PM

maybe a new country

I would advise against that

8:32 PM

@Local British Lad What's wrong with your country

superduper

@Local British Lad What's wrong with your country

The UK

8:33 PM

It's NOT the worst thing itw

8:33 PM

but it has it's issues

8:33 PM

I just wanna move close to my family

Local British Lad

It's NOT the worst thing itw

UK GANG WHO HATES OUR COUNTRY

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

UK GANG WHO HATES OUR COUNTRY

INGERLAND

Local British Lad

INGERLAND

RISHI SUNAK IS A RAT FACED BASTARD

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

RISHI SUNAK IS A RAT FACED BASTARD

8:35 PM

Did you see him at Accrington

Uh oh what he’d do this time?

Bro went to Accrington Stanley FC

8:35 PM

To give a talk

8:35 PM

and answer questions

8:35 PM

what a silly man

Lmfao

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Lmfao

you watch footie or nah? (edited)

Local British Lad

you watch footie or nah? (edited)

Nope sports ain’t it for me and I’m not interested in drinking so no British culture for me

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

Nope sports ain’t it for me and I’m not interested in drinking so no British culture for me

I won't ever drink, smoke or any shit like that

8:36 PM

I'm very heavy into football tho

8:37 PM

should we move from here

Ooop

I haven't really thought about it but i had a pretty fucked up childhood

jendavis

I haven't really thought about it but i had a pretty fucked up childhood

i've had a fucked up teenage years if that counts :3

12:46 AM

more than halfway done with it thank god

I'm not trying to flex but did your dad force you to undress in front off him

holy shit

12:49 AM

and no because my dad was never around and when he did he was neglectful and about but very injured many time because games are more important than your year old while yur girlfriend is working 2 jobs while he cant work because of "social anxiety and depression"

Zamn

12:49 AM

My dad came into my life when i was like 6

12:50 AM

But zamn

my dad left wy life when i was 3 and he didnt contact us until 6 or 7 years later. and even now he is trying to keep MY SISTERS KID THAT SHE HAD AS SHE IS MOVING OUT AND PRETTY SURE THE ONLY REASON IS FOR TAX BENEFITS AND THE MONEY

I'm honestly way too stoned to read that

dad keep sisters daughter for tax

12:53 AM

that's the tl;dr

Ty

12:54 AM

I got drunk all the time when i was younger

i never plan on getting drunk since i have trauma with drunks

Same

12:54 AM

The trauma part

aka just my stepdad who abused me many times while drunk

I d ink to escape

12:56 AM

It makes me feel like i'm dreaming

12:56 AM

I'm honestly chiller when i'm drunk then when i'm high

12:57 AM

When i'm high i just want to fight somebody

lol

12:59 AM

but i'm probably not gonna drink. if so maybe one with friends every once in a while

12:59 AM

other than that dont plan on ever getting drunk

Yeah i dont really recommend it tbh the Hangover isn't worth it

1:13 AM

I've vaped and smoked a few times before but i don't really like it it feels weird

1:13 AM

But weed is honestly pretty fun

hii i'm sorry i was of no use today because i wasn't able to comfort everyone but i hope ur all doing alright now. <33

I fell down the stairs

(edited)

i'm sorry love :((

1:26 AM

ARE YOU OKAY NOW??

No

WJAT

I have a broken heart!!! dramatic turn

jendavis

I have a broken heart!!! dramatic turn

gasp

gives burger

1:27 AM

:3

Evaporates

1:29 AM

Uhm wut

1:29 AM

I think i'm a bit too stoned for this

1:30 AM

Ask them if they're okay then

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

do not say stuff like that

Do you know their family?

🐸SourByte🐸

do not say stuff like that

I dont know what to do

1:34 AM

I mean you met them like 2 days ago

1:34 AM

How is it your fault

1:35 AM

Then ask them again later

1:36 AM

Maybe they're doing something

jendavis

I dont know what to do

not that tf

🐸SourByte🐸

not that tf

Srry

its fine, dont say suggestive stuff or next time its a time out

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

awe autumn im so sorry

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

its not fine this shouldn't be on you

1:41 AM

i get that, but its not your job to feel guilty about something you literally couldn't do to help

1:41 AM

i hope they're ok if im giving the wrong impression

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

thats a huge relief

1:42 AM

you got this autumn, no one is going to judge you for your troubles, especially because you help so much for others

1:42 AM

1:44 AM

you can still comfort people! you just need someone behind you to catch you if you fall

1:44 AM

(ik this sounds cheesy but its true)

1:46 AM

im glad you're ok, ilyt! ❤️ /p

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

did they do it??

like at all

just keep texting them, show them that you care

Dont be sorry for venting

2:11 AM

You need to get shit off your chest

2:11 AM

Dont hold it in

2:13 AM

I'm going to give you a suggestion. Take it or not, i cant control what you do or not. I would suggest not letting people vent to you for a while because of the effects that it is having on your physical body and your mental health. As i said, dont need to listen. But that's probably the best option. I love you /p, and i dont want you to get hurt.

Im gonna get into some really heavy topics here. Read or dont read. I warned you At age 15 I was involved in a motorcycle racing accident. It broke both my shoulders, My right collarbone. A few ribs. My left ankle. My left hand. Blew up some discs in my back. I was in a medically induced coma for 1 week and three days, I was in the ICU for 2 weeks and in the hospital for a month and a half. During that course I was heavily medicated with morphine, dilauded, and various opiates. When I got out I was given this great drug called "Vicodin". Its been 2 years. I haven't gone one week in that time without taking it. I am brutally addicted to it and my family has no idea. I hate my addiction. And I hate myself. Little white pill rules my life.

I have really bad social anxiety, and im hella insecure about how I look, and sound like please-

DËFCØN

Im gonna get into some really heavy topics here. Read or dont read. I warned you At age 15 I was involved in a motorcycle racing accident. It broke both my shoulders, My right collarbone. A few ribs. My left ankle. My left hand. Blew up some discs in my back. I was in a medically induced coma for 1 week and three days, I was in the ICU for 2 weeks and in the hospital for a month and a half. During that course I was heavily medicated with morphine, dilauded, and various opiates. When I got out I was given this great drug called "Vicodin". Its been 2 years. I haven't gone one week in that time without taking it. I am brutally addicted to it and my family has no idea. I hate my addiction. And I hate myself. Little white pill rules my life.

i'm so sorry about that love. :(( addictions can definitely be exhausting and irritating, but i promise you none of it is your fault. your body got attached to it, which made you think you couldn't go without it. it's understandable on why you would consider hating yourself for it, but i promise it's not your fault in any way, so there's no need to put yourself down for it. <33 you may think it's your fault since you can't resist it or something, but that's just thr way your body and mind react to certain things that they've learned to get hooked on. hating an addiction is completely normal, too! <33 but i don't see any purpose in hating yourself for it if you can't control it. :c you're an amazing person, you know that, right? an addiction shouldn't have to change that, but i'm not saying you have your own perspective on it.

i'm just saying you're an awesome person and just because you're addicted to something doesn't make you any worse of a person at all.

4:39 AM

and i'm literally soso sorry about your injuries. that sounds awful. i can't even imagine it. :(( my dad got in a motorcycle accident too, but he only got nerve damage in his back and rocks embedded in his knee from it, surprisingly

Addiction makes you a horrible person. You do anything to get a fix. I dont have the willpower to quit or talk to anyone about it. Thats what makes me awful. Not the addiction itself. My actions surrounding it

coolchipss

I have really bad social anxiety, and im hella insecure about how I look, and sound like please-

ah i have social anxiety too. hard to deal with, isn't it? i can assure you that if you learn to care less, then you'll learn that everyone else isn't always after you! :)) i know change can be extremely difficult, especially with a disorder such as social anxiety, but you'll learn sooner or later that the only enemy you have is yourself. you're beautiful just the way you are! don't change for anybody except for yourself, darling. <33

DËFCØN

Addiction makes you a horrible person. You do anything to get a fix. I dont have the willpower to quit or talk to anyone about it. Thats what makes me awful. Not the addiction itself. My actions surrounding it

oh. i'm sorry. i didn't consider that

4:42 AM

i know i'm not really doing anything to change your mind, but you're an amazing person. <33 i'm extremely sorry you have that problem though. :((

My vents are very well thought out haha. Im not easy to help Autumn. You dont need to meddle over me. My problems are very dark and they consume everything they touch

ah, alright. i understand

DËFCØN

My vents are very well thought out haha. Im not easy to help Autumn. You dont need to meddle over me. My problems are very dark and they consume everything they touch

I promise that any problem that you have wont get in the way between you and i in the slightest. Even if i cant help you with any of them i wont let that be any sort of wall. I love you for who you are and i dont want any of the problems to be a gate between that.

4:53 AM

I dont see any problems so there are no problems in my eyes

‍

1

autumn <33.

ah i have social anxiety too. hard to deal with, isn't it? i can assure you that if you learn to care less, then you'll learn that everyone else isn't always after you! :)) i know change can be extremely difficult, especially with a disorder such as social anxiety, but you'll learn sooner or later that the only enemy you have is yourself. you're beautiful just the way you are! don't change for anybody except for yourself, darling. <33

, Thanks for the advice <3

anytime love! <33 please take care and have a good night

I've done multiple attempts at suicide but i've failed each one

3:30 PM

I tried to jump in front of a car once

3:30 PM

I tried to drink myself to death

3:32 PM

I was gonna shoot myself but i didn't go through with it

RAH FUCK RELAPSE I HATE MYSELF WHAT THE FYCH

I hate exams, these exams are pointless yet I wanted to throw up so fucking much. My whole body aches, I felt like my hamstring went yesterday, my back hurt so much when I got up to go to break after my first exam. And for what? Fucking nothing!

i would say i was touch starved, but i literally hate being touched. i have very touchy (both ways) friends. when ever they for example, put their hand on my arm, shoulders, or head it feels like steel digging into my skin. and yes, i have been touched in certain places and i was too worried and shy at the time to speak up. i haven't been through sexual assault but i have been close to those kinds of people

12:06 AM

i want to be some sort of badass person who isnt shy or anything, but whenever i feel confident and put myself out there, there's always that one person, who just judges no matter how hard i try

12:07 AM

and it doesn't help that i have a fem figure/style

12:08 AM

thats why i never talk in vc, show my face, or even talk about my appearance

12:08 AM

anyway, im sorry for the whole ass rant but this is the vent channel after all

🐸SourByte🐸

anyway, im sorry for the whole ass rant but this is the vent channel after all

This is a vent man. Just cause theres a bit of rambling doesnt make it not so.

3:24 AM

You are badass Sour. We all dig your art and think youre pretty handsome too/p Its ok to not dig certain people touching you. And love others touch. Preferences and trust are valid feelings man.

DËFCØN

You are badass Sour. We all dig your art and think youre pretty handsome too/p Its ok to not dig certain people touching you. And love others touch. Preferences and trust are valid feelings man.

tysmm i really needed that <33 /p

1

Thats what im here for man. Im open to talk anytime.

3:44 AM

Youre a radical awesome intelligent sweet funny handsome fella. Dont forget that/p

i brought it up today bc a lot of people were super energetic and kept shaking me and tapping me but it was bothering me so much

🐸SourByte🐸

and it doesn't help that i have a fem figure/style

your appearance doesn't change who you truly are, sour. ur handsome :))

DËFCØN

Youre a radical awesome intelligent sweet funny handsome fella. Dont forget that/p

/p

🐸SourByte🐸

i brought it up today bc a lot of people were super energetic and kept shaking me and tapping me but it was bothering me so much

That stuff bothers me too man. Ive got wild friends too and I am fine and then my energy tanks and im just done. They all get offended and call me stuff, Idk if thats your experience but if it is you arent alone

3:46 AM

Its part of being intro/ambiverted

3:46 AM

Youre good until youre not

DËFCØN

That stuff bothers me too man. Ive got wild friends too and I am fine and then my energy tanks and im just done. They all get offended and call me stuff, Idk if thats your experience but if it is you arent alone

its the same for me, i get super extroverted in front of my friends but they just dont expect it and it is instantly regreted

autumn <33.

your appearance doesn't change who you truly are, sour. ur handsome :))

tyy TwT

🐸SourByte🐸

its the same for me, i get super extroverted in front of my friends but they just dont expect it and it is instantly regreted

Youre not alone feeling like that. Its frustrating ash. Cause you feel like youre opening up and you get shut doen

i just wanna bring this up- i wear a punk/"edgy" kinda style and my friends just make fun of it so hard

3:50 AM

like i wear something with black and im emo

🐸SourByte🐸

i would say i was touch starved, but i literally hate being touched. i have very touchy (both ways) friends. when ever they for example, put their hand on my arm, shoulders, or head it feels like steel digging into my skin. and yes, i have been touched in certain places and i was too worried and shy at the time to speak up. i haven't been through sexual assault but i have been close to those kinds of people

it's normal to feel that way darling. <33 sometimes people crave affection so badly, but can quite literally become nauseous whenever they receive it. feelings are confusing, and sometimes we convince ourselves that we want something that we end up pushing away. also, you may just be sensitive to touch in general. that's also normal :)) you don't really have to go through suggestive trauma in order to feel the way you feel and crave what you crave. people change their mind sometimes, and that's perfectly fine! <33 we're all human after all. being around those types of people could also be the reason you're uncomfortable with certain people touching you. it's just the way your brain is wired, and that's fine! we're all wired differently <33

🐸SourByte🐸

like i wear something with black and im emo

do people srsly not know what emo means anymore

<333

🐸SourByte🐸

i just wanna bring this up- i wear a punk/"edgy" kinda style and my friends just make fun of it so hard

YOUR STYLE IS SO COOL your friends need to accept the fact that people have different styles

3:51 AM

i wear grunge so ik what you mean :3

3:52 AM

don't listen to people who try to put you down in any way. you and your style are both amazing! <33

🐸SourByte🐸

i just wanna bring this up- i wear a punk/"edgy" kinda style and my friends just make fun of it so hard

People be wack man. I dig your style

🐸SourByte🐸

i want to be some sort of badass person who isnt shy or anything, but whenever i feel confident and put myself out there, there's always that one person, who just judges no matter how hard i try

people are gonna judge no matter what you do. literally. you could be trying to get across the road and someone would judge you for not driving a car instead. people do this all the time and judge others to make themselves feel better because they're insecure and/or jealous. just be you, no matter what anyone else says. <33 i know that's incredibly difficult to do sometimes, but i promise it feels so good to know who you truly are and not having to restrict that personality for people who wanna whine and berate you all the time

ALSO YOU ARE SUCH A BADASS WDYMM??!?! YOUR ART IS LITERALLY SO???!?!?!?!?!?!?!? AUUBUHUAFGAUHGHHH

DËFCØN

People be wack man. I dig your style

FFRRRRR i love all styles but the "emo" ones are my favs. they're all called emo but they have differences :3 that's what i love abt them

🐸SourByte🐸

i just wanna bring this up- i wear a punk/"edgy" kinda style and my friends just make fun of it so hard

Do you enjoy wearing the clothes?

3:55 AM

The punk ones

3:56 AM

If you enjoy it and your friends dont, who are they to say "hey you cant wear that because i dont like it so i'm gonna laugh at you". And if they dont enjoy it. They can suck it up

once you learn to love yourself for who you truly are, nobody else's opinion will matter anymore. <33 that's what i'm always told, and it is actually true. i've started to think like that a bit myself and i promise it puts less stress on me about others' opinions :))

3:57 AM

so perhaps try that? if that doesn't work, then i can make a few other suggestions! <33

SugarSky

If you enjoy it and your friends dont, who are they to say "hey you cant wear that because i dont like it so i'm gonna laugh at you". And if they dont enjoy it. They can suck it up

NO BECAUSE FR. (edited)

We have two opposite comfort styles XD

SugarSky

Do you enjoy wearing the clothes?

yea! its my favorite style :0

Then keep dressing in it, hun

4:02 AM

I dont care what your friends say. You shouldnt either. It's fabric. Who cares

🐸SourByte🐸

yea! its my favorite style :0

if you think it fits you, then keep dressing how YOU want to dress. <33 other people should focus on themselves because they know damn well they have a different style too

autumn <33.

people are gonna judge no matter what you do. literally. you could be trying to get across the road and someone would judge you for not driving a car instead. people do this all the time and judge others to make themselves feel better because they're insecure and/or jealous. just be you, no matter what anyone else says. <33 i know that's incredibly difficult to do sometimes, but i promise it feels so good to know who you truly are and not having to restrict that personality for people who wanna whine and berate you all the time

ALSO YOU ARE SUCH A BADASS WDYMM??!?! YOUR ART IS LITERALLY SO???!?!?!?!?!?!?!? AUUBUHUAFGAUHGHHH

tyy! i literally had a panic attack about how i looked today, (even though i had to hide it bc apparently guys cant cry at my school)

If they get upset over fabric then they have bigger issues to deal with

fr

🐸SourByte🐸

tyy! i literally had a panic attack about how i looked today, (even though i had to hide it bc apparently guys cant cry at my school)

Bruh

i was wearing a thick tank top with baggy pants and people were just staring at me

4:03 AM

sooo i put a jacket over top :∆

>:(

but you guys are way better than any irl friends ive ever had

I hate (a lot of) people

4:04 AM

Why cant theu let people be themselves

SugarSky

I hate (a lot of) people

i never got to vent to someone without them saying "oh...anyways"

people like that are so annoying.

🐸SourByte🐸

i never got to vent to someone without them saying "oh...anyways"

We arent like that, hun

4:05 AM

We love you too much <3 /p

see this is why i always try to comfort people the best i can, whenever i can, as much as i can. you never know what experiences they've had with people in the past

4:05 AM

i'm sorry people treated you like that lovely

🐸SourByte🐸

i was wearing a thick tank top with baggy pants and people were just staring at me

bc they're jealous :3

🐸SourByte🐸

i was wearing a thick tank top with baggy pants and people were just staring at me

they wanna be you

nooo :]

4:14 AM

but you guys are making me feel so much better

AHHHHH GLAD TO HEAR THAT!!! just try not to listen to people <33 UR AMAZING JUST THE WAY YOU ARE SOUR!! DON'T EVER CHANGE FOR ANYONE EXCEPT YOURSELF!!!

i gotta go now but ilygg /p

ily too! sleep well darling! <33 /p

I can't take this anymore

Bauer Gurke

I can't take this anymore

Fr

Are you from Croatia

My ex. is. active. again.

8:03 PM

Why. WHY.

8:04 PM

WHY COULDNT HE JUST NEVER COME BACK AND

8:04 PM

:(

Active on what, hun /p? (edited)

Guys I just want to be loved

8:17 PM

By somebody

Bauer Gurke

Are you from Croatia

Who?

You

No I’m from US

Ok

SugarSky

Active on what, hun /p? (edited)

sorry i saw this now sky but on discord. after we went no contact he went offline here for almost two months, now somehow hes back. and its making me uncomfy being in the same server as him but im staff and hes not talking anymore but still. his presence makes me remember everything i went through:((

Oh..

everything is just replaying in my head

8:55 PM

i want my bf to answer me so bad

Idfk what it is but my body still hurts

8:58 PM

It felt like my hamstrings went when I stood up

why does strawberry go bad so fast..

No cause fr???

Andy!!

No cause fr???

I left them out like about an hour and now it taste frikin sucks

Istg they're snowflake fruits

1

Andy!!

Istg they're snowflake fruits

really gotta agree on that

and now the ones sitting in the fridge taste bad too, fuck me bruuhhh

once again, feeling like my life is ending when my bf is offline for too long.

im crying my eyes out.

9:55 PM

i dont know what to do.

I CANT I CANT I CANT I CANT SURVIVE

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

I CANT I CANT I CANT I CANT SURVIVE

you do know how bad it is to become dependent on someone else right

i know

10:26 PM

its not my fault

10:27 PM

ive been like this for years i just cant survive on my own i need him

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

its not my fault

it is though

im scaredd ive been crying for hours now idk how to even get through it anymore

10:27 PM

oh.

you need to take steps to become self sufficient

i dont know how

otherwise you will never make it in the real world

They probably don't need a reality check right now

:(

！M4RK ִ ࣪𖤐

i dont know how

For starters, focus on yourself. Do things you need to do.

10:28 PM

I can't tell you fully what to do bc i dont know ur entire situation

10:28 PM

but you can stop being reliant on others

10:29 PM

it just takes work

Andy!!

They probably don't need a reality check right now

It's not a reality check, it is honesty. If you want to lie so as to not possibly hurt someones feelings, that is 100% up to you (edited)

10:29 PM

I just wont be doing that

How doew one deal with pain thats been occuring for 3 days jn a row

11:50 PM

maybe even longer

I would say go to a doctor and get it checked out if it continies into tomorrow

for no reason as well

SugarSky

I would say go to a doctor and get it checked out if it continies into tomorrow

maybe

Defenately go to a doctpr

but its not all in the same place

11:51 PM

it changes

11:51 PM

I think its due to exam strsss but idk

To be on the safe side, schedule an appointment for tomorrow

11:52 PM

Or the earliest date you can do it

Should do

Yes

ye

Last time i actually felt true love was in a dream 3 years ago on a vacation to Florida

I think youre pretty awesome

I might kms real soon

For what reason

Artasin :3

Last time i actually felt true love was in a dream 3 years ago on a vacation to Florida

I thought you had a bf

nolan

I thought you had a bf

im lonelier than a penguin without a pebble

Oh

4:51 AM

Damn sorry bro

Artasin :3

Last time i actually felt true love was in a dream 3 years ago on a vacation to Florida

i'm sorry artasin :(( finding love is a very time consuming process, that's for sure. it may not seem like there's any hope for love, but i promise you'll find the right one eventually! <33

ante

I might kms real soon

what's wrong?? i'm always here to talk if you need it. <33

Violent bouts of depression are fire

5:57 AM

What triggers it? Idk!!

I am trying to gain more eight because i was severely underweight by 30 pounds and i have needed to gain that much and i have been doing so well so far but if i "practice upper body strength" i would be losing all of that progress i have made in the last 3 months. I have happily gained 20 ish pounds in the last months and it has probably saved my life going to my nutritionist

6:55 AM

So yeah, that's why i dont just "want to do push ups"

TW // Self Harm/suicide My friend yesterday had one of the worst days in his life, in fact I'm pretty sure he almost ended himself, he has therapy apparently, but idk. He took a pill or smth and can't remember much from yesterday but I woke up to shit tones of drama, I'm pretty sure I stopped him from k*lling himself, idk what to do now, I told him I won't leave him as everyone else blocked him, I think if I stop talking to him he will die (edited)

12:29 PM

Pls gimme advice on how to help him if anyone does

Local British Lad

TW // Self Harm/suicide My friend yesterday had one of the worst days in his life, in fact I'm pretty sure he almost ended himself, he has therapy apparently, but idk. He took a pill or smth and can't remember much from yesterday but I woke up to shit tones of drama, I'm pretty sure I stopped him from k*lling himself, idk what to do now, I told him I won't leave him as everyone else blocked him, I think if I stop talking to him he will die (edited)

Oh Ive been through this once

1:00 PM

Just keep in mind

1:00 PM

If someone says a lot theyll kill themself then theyre most likely not going to

He hasn't said that thought that's the thing

1:01 PM

Everyones blocked him and shit and he has nobody else to talk to

1:01 PM

He took a pill or smth yesterday and doesn't remember shit

Local British Lad

He took a pill or smth yesterday and doesn't remember shit

How do you know that

JanotLeLapin

How do you know that

He told me

1:02 PM

right i needa go shower so i'll brb

See if I decide to take 10mg of xanax in order to kms I wouldnt say that to anyone

1:04 PM

If I were you Id still talk to them but

1:04 PM

Keep your eyes open for every red flag

JanotLeLapin

If I were you Id still talk to them but

I will

JanotLeLapin

Keep your eyes open for every red flag

will do

Local British Lad

TW // Self Harm/suicide My friend yesterday had one of the worst days in his life, in fact I'm pretty sure he almost ended himself, he has therapy apparently, but idk. He took a pill or smth and can't remember much from yesterday but I woke up to shit tones of drama, I'm pretty sure I stopped him from k*lling himself, idk what to do now, I told him I won't leave him as everyone else blocked him, I think if I stop talking to him he will die (edited)

just continue showing that you care. often, suicidal people want to commit because they feel no one understands them or cares for them. they also may want to commit because they feel alone or think that there's no other way out of the shitty situation that they're currently in. if you continue showing that you care for them and are there for them, i promise it will have a positive effect, even if it takes a while. sometimes people just need time to know who's truly there for them when times get tough. suicide is a scary thing, but sometimes people don't consider that. they use it as a last resort if nothing else has worked. this includes failed attempts of expressing their feelings, people leaving them when they needed those people the most, and many other factors that could've been either sudden or gradual. as long as they know someone would miss them, it often makes them rethink the decision.

4:15 PM

if anything else happens, please let any of us know. <33 i hope your friend gets better soon.

thanks for the advice, I will let you know if anything happen!

TW/ Healed Scars. Scars make us human. Tell a story.

SPOILER

1

My friend is trying to say I’m trying to steal his bf

7:47 PM

Even tho I barely talk to his bf

Delusions

7:49 PM

But actually tell him that you're not doing anything

7:49 PM

And do it calmly

7:49 PM

So he is convinced

nolan

My friend is trying to say I’m trying to steal his bf

Ain’t you still with bitchbot tho

No

DËFCØN

TW/ Healed Scars. Scars make us human. Tell a story.

you're really strong. <33 glad you're still here with us to continue your story.

DËFCØN

TW/ Healed Scars. Scars make us human. Tell a story.

I've been clean for 7 months now, I'm proud of you, you are so strong we're all happy to have you here I know to an extent how hard it must be

SugarSky

I am trying to gain more eight because i was severely underweight by 30 pounds and i have needed to gain that much and i have been doing so well so far but if i "practice upper body strength" i would be losing all of that progress i have made in the last 3 months. I have happily gained 20 ish pounds in the last months and it has probably saved my life going to my nutritionist

as long as you have a proper diet, your body will regulate your weight loss and gain. muscle weighs approximately 2x more than fat (what my mom told me), so if you wanted to still workout you could technically gain muscle weight! you're doing amazing sky :3 i could do some research if you want! i just wanna make sure ur okay <33

that's the problem, i dont eat

1:29 AM

i hate food

i used to also be underweight but since i started eating more and being active i've actually put on a few pounds

1:29 AM

ohh okay i understand

1:29 AM

are there any safe foods you have? like at all? or do you js not like food in general?

chicken nuggets and fries

1:30 AM

and grilled cheese

yumyum

that's it

GRILLED CHEESE IS SO GOOD

1:31 AM

well how often do you usually eat a day? if you feel comfortable sharing

once or twice

1:31 AM

if that

drinks could also help, such as protein shakes and other heavy/filling liquids

tried

1:31 AM

hate them all

ohh alright. got it

1:33 AM

have you considered taking creatine?

1:33 AM

i heard it can help to increase muscle mass, which could also factor to weight gain

blagh

1:34 AM

i forget to take my meds for my ear

1:34 AM

so i will forget to take that

aww alright then

1:35 AM

i can continue doing research

seeing a nutritionist so it's fine

it's mainly focusing on eating, heavy liquids, and other supplements unfortunately :((

SugarSky

seeing a nutritionist so it's fine

alright! that's good! <33

TW, Heavy Topics, I feel high as shit and im sober off anything that gets you "high", Is this a side effect of sobriety??

Maybe

That was a very helpful response.

Mb

DËFCØN

TW, Heavy Topics, I feel high as shit and im sober off anything that gets you "high", Is this a side effect of sobriety??

Dehydratikn, sleep depirvation, or severe anxiety can be causes of this

Not currently dealing with any of those.

Hm

Like I feel high as shit

I dont know how to help, love. Sorry

3:30 AM

I wish i could

Im fine lol

hey dude you feeling okay now? i'm sorry this isn't helpful i just don't really know how to help

4:30 AM

my mom is a nurse so i could ask her and my dad knows a lot abt that stuff so i could ask him too if you want??? i just want to make sure you're okay :((

Hahah, Im fine. Its just a side effect of going cold turkey.

ohhhh okay i gotcha

DËFCØN

Hahah, Im fine. Its just a side effect of going cold turkey.

?

it means to suddenly stop taking an addictive substance i think

Especially multiple at once lol. Not good for you

oh

4:34 AM

so it's a withdraw symptom?

Not particularly.

oh

Guys I I can't take this anymore tomorrow is school again im scared to get beaten up again or something nobody likes me my whole class hates me I'm alone I have no love...

bro theres no fucking way someone wrote fan fiction about killing me. im so sick of ts bruh

scott cawthon

bro theres no fucking way someone wrote fan fiction about killing me. im so sick of ts bruh

That is straight sociopathic behavior

DËFCØN

That is straight sociopathic behavior

Someone did this to me b4

its actually insane

7:04 PM

they said it js because i said i dont want my ex in my life and im a happier person with my bf in my life

They did it because I kicked them out a different server

wtf???

Yup

7:10 PM

It was very graphic, they bought nitro so they could have extended character limit (edited)

I’m so fucking lonely. I have barely any friends and I’m even scared to ask to hang out with my sister. I know she hates me, she got mad at me at Walmart, saying “you’re the worst person i could have chose to walk with” bc I grabbed the wrong item or couldn’t find something. She got mad at me earlier for accidentally making a tiny mess and not being able to find something in the house bc we just moved in and someone moved the thing from where put it. It’s like everyday I have to worry about who I’m gonna talk to or who I’m gonna hang out with. I just hate this so much and just wish I wasn’t such a stupid waste of space. Even my dad who I look up to was getting mad saying I couldn’t help him because I couldn’t lift a heavy mattress. I legit heard my sister talking shit ab me and it’s to the point I’m probably gonna cry soon bc I’m so fed up with this shit.

nolan

I’m so fucking lonely. I have barely any friends and I’m even scared to ask to hang out with my sister. I know she hates me, she got mad at me at Walmart, saying “you’re the worst person i could have chose to walk with” bc I grabbed the wrong item or couldn’t find something. She got mad at me earlier for accidentally making a tiny mess and not being able to find something in the house bc we just moved in and someone moved the thing from where put it. It’s like everyday I have to worry about who I’m gonna talk to or who I’m gonna hang out with. I just hate this so much and just wish I wasn’t such a stupid waste of space. Even my dad who I look up to was getting mad saying I couldn’t help him because I couldn’t lift a heavy mattress. I legit heard my sister talking shit ab me and it’s to the point I’m probably gonna cry soon bc I’m so fed up with this shit.

Im pretty lonely too, i have no irl friends and no online friends due to me having no social skills, i think im kind of starting to get used to being alone at this point. I do hope your situation gets better though

Thanks

nolan

I’m so fucking lonely. I have barely any friends and I’m even scared to ask to hang out with my sister. I know she hates me, she got mad at me at Walmart, saying “you’re the worst person i could have chose to walk with” bc I grabbed the wrong item or couldn’t find something. She got mad at me earlier for accidentally making a tiny mess and not being able to find something in the house bc we just moved in and someone moved the thing from where put it. It’s like everyday I have to worry about who I’m gonna talk to or who I’m gonna hang out with. I just hate this so much and just wish I wasn’t such a stupid waste of space. Even my dad who I look up to was getting mad saying I couldn’t help him because I couldn’t lift a heavy mattress. I legit heard my sister talking shit ab me and it’s to the point I’m probably gonna cry soon bc I’m so fed up with this shit.

your sister needs to seriously grow up, sorry not sorry. she can't just mistreat people simply because she feels like it, and i swear bro if she uses the excuse that she's younger than you i'mma lose my shit. that's not right, no matter how much she tries to justify herself and her actions. also the moving thing is literally out of your control?? how are you even gonna know where EVERYTHING is after freshly moving into a new, unfamiliar environment? i know i always say this, but i simply say it as a reminder that you're not alone. yes, you feel lonely, but lonely and alone are two different words with two different definitions. it's fine to feel lonely, as a lot of poeple do that often. but please nolan, remember that you're never truly alone. i'll always be by your side. you're not a stupid waste of space. people are making you feel that way, and i'm really sorry you have to deal with that. :(( you're a great guy nolan. you're funny, sweet, understanding, caring, and so much more. you aren't always what others define you as. others' anger often displays their opinions incorrectly. your sister and dad love you a lot, i'm sure of it! <33 but that doesn't excuse their foul actions and hurtful words.

4:01 PM

your sister shouldn't be shit talking you just because you made a few mistakes. literally no one in this world is perfect. she needs to accept that.

4:01 PM

and your dad seriously berating you because you couldn't lift something heavy?? immature on his part in my opinion...

4:02 PM

please never be afraid to reach out to me nolan. i was offline for a while, but i'm gonna try and be online more. <33

4:02 PM

i love you babes. please take care.

is everyone doing alright? <33

My mom just sent me a picture of my ex

7:45 PM

In the hospital

7:45 PM

With kidney stones.

7:46 PM

Felt the start of a panic attack

7:46 PM

Cuz when i see him i get super warm (in a bad way) and my breathing gets fast and heavy

7:47 PM

Why would she even send me it

7:47 PM

I dont fucking care about him anymore

7:47 PM

Sucks that he has kidney stones but i would rather stay in the dark and not see him until my english classes

does your mom know that you don't want to see him anymore? i'm not justifying her actions i'm just genuinely wondering

8:54 PM

i'm sorry that happened to you sky :((

she said "does it make you feel better that he has to piss out a rock"

9:19 PM

like

9:19 PM

i feel bad

9:20 PM

i'm not going to feel happy that he has to gp through that much pain

9:20 PM

no one deserves that

9:20 PM

ever

bro she's literally trying to emotionally manipulate you. she doesn't have any right to do that wtf that's so wrong

1:02 AM

like yes you feel bad because no one should have to go through something that painful, but that doesn't mean you have to automatically tolerate him again.

like. i want to be his friend again

2:11 AM

do i want to be romantically evolved, never again. do i want to be able to converse with him again, yes

if you want to do that, try some light interaction first. take it slow

3:19 AM

that's the advice i can give because that's what i did and i got really close with my ex, and now we're best friends

he wont even speak to me

3:19 AM

so there's that

:((.

3:19 AM

i'm sorry sky

it's fine

3:20 AM

probably wouldnt be great for either of our mental health if we did

gotcha. if you both think it's for the better, then that's what matters <33

Honestly just feel like I should disappear

6:10 AM

I’m talking to someone and I know their going through shit and I feel like I’m just making them feel worse by talking to much

6:10 AM

They said I’m helping them or wtv but still

if they say that you're helping them, then you probably are. people who struggle often just want someone to talk to and for that person to understand them. if you're showing them kindness and understanding, then i'm sure it means a lot to them. <33

nolan

Honestly just feel like I should disappear

why do you think that love?

Fucken

6:19 PM

I hurt my friend

6:19 PM

Me and him got into it

6:19 PM

He said something personal

6:19 PM

When i was trying to ignore his shit talking

6:20 PM

I told him to never talk to me again

6:20 PM

He calls my mother to tell her whats going on

6:20 PM

The moment someone texts me something personal

6:20 PM

Imma just block em

6:20 PM

Cause that shit just starts fights

6:21 PM

And if their gonna hide behind a screen they aren’t worth the time it takes to argue with em

6:22 PM

Im moving to the city next weekend if it doesn’t blow over

do whatever you think is right. blocking someone before it turns controversial would probably be a smart move

autumn <33.

do whatever you think is right. blocking someone before it turns controversial would probably be a smart move

Yeah ig

6:32 PM

Still

6:32 PM

I feel like its my fault

6:32 PM

Yk

6:32 PM

Idk why

i promise it's not your fault, especially since you weren't the one bringing up personal shit and trying to start a fight

even though ik it's not my fault, i hate myself bc i had to either cancel or put on hold commissions and other concept art, which i absolutely despise doing all bc my drawing tablet stopped working. drawing on paper or my sketchbook feels so off (and my sketchbooks are private, mind you) everyone either asks me to show them my drawing or just take it from me. like i got on a fist fight yesterday bc they started it and was such a baby they couldn't understand vent art (i also called them nosy, such an insult smh) no major punches were thrown, but i did win somehow. but i find it so infuriating how ppl cant respect privacy and call me a bitch everytime i dont show them.

autumn <33.

if anything else happens, please let any of us know. <33 i hope your friend gets better soon.

He's not going to college atm due to bullying from teachers & classmates. His parents are demanding an appology (edited)

🐸SourByte🐸

even though ik it's not my fault, i hate myself bc i had to either cancel or put on hold commissions and other concept art, which i absolutely despise doing all bc my drawing tablet stopped working. drawing on paper or my sketchbook feels so off (and my sketchbooks are private, mind you) everyone either asks me to show them my drawing or just take it from me. like i got on a fist fight yesterday bc they started it and was such a baby they couldn't understand vent art (i also called them nosy, such an insult smh) no major punches were thrown, but i did win somehow. but i find it so infuriating how ppl cant respect privacy and call me a bitch everytime i dont show them.

thats do annoying

Local British Lad

He's not going to college atm due to bullying from teachers & classmates. His parents are demanding an appology (edited)

that's awful. no one deserves that. :(( i truly do hope it gets better for him. <33

Youre not the kid I grew up with anymore. Youre not you anymore. Youre lost. Please come back

1

i love you guys

I love you too

5:53 AM

Is everything ok babes?

yeah i just want y'all to know i love you guys

5:53 AM

a lot

5:53 AM

and if y'all ever need anybody please don't be afraid to reach out to me

Okii

<33

I genuinely hate my little sister

6:02 AM

She’s such a bitch

what happened love?

6:02 AM

oh dear

She’s just a bitch for no reason

what did she do this time?

Like the cat did a think and I said “I love when he does that” and she said “he does it to everyone, don’t think your special”

bro why is she so rude? she used to be sweeter than that

And like the other day I was eating and she was like “didn’t you just eat” and I was like “yeah?” And she was like “chill out on food” like stfu dad AND Lindsey had to tell you to stop eating

6:05 AM

Like god she makes me feel so bad about myself

it's not cool for her to disrespect her older sibling for no reason. well maybe it's not disrespecting but you know what i mean. she doesn't need to catch an attitude for absolutely no reason.

Fr

6:07 AM

Another thing is she feels alone and I feel bad but at the same time she’s so rude to everybody idc at this point

nolan

And like the other day I was eating and she was like “didn’t you just eat” and I was like “yeah?” And she was like “chill out on food” like stfu dad AND Lindsey had to tell you to stop eating

Nah that is disrespecting him, no other way to put it

6:07 AM

Your sister sounds like shes being a miserable bitch sorry you gatta deal with that man

nolan

And like the other day I was eating and she was like “didn’t you just eat” and I was like “yeah?” And she was like “chill out on food” like stfu dad AND Lindsey had to tell you to stop eating

bro that's just straight up RUDE. that's not fucking funny or cool and she has no right to talk on that issue.

100% your eating habits arent worse than mine

nolan

Another thing is she feels alone and I feel bad but at the same time she’s so rude to everybody idc at this point

that is in no way an excuse to ever treat somebody else like a piece of shit. just because you feel lonely doesn't mean you have to make others insecure about themselves.

Fr

what the hell happened to her. i remember in 7th grade she was so much sweeter

6:09 AM

you used to say she was only ever annoying and spoiled, but never rude

Yeah

6:09 AM

Apparently she’s going through puberty super early and that’s why

6:10 AM

But still this past year she’s been awful to deal with

puberty can definitely affect women, especially at a super early age. but i began going through puberty at 11 and she should still have control over her emotions, attitude, words, and actions.

6:11 AM

yes it will severely affect your mood and hormones, but she should still know the difference between right and wrong.

Or at least apoligize

exactly

Yeah

i'm so sorry you have to deal with that nolan :((

It’s okkk

no it must be so exhausting

Yeah kinda

autumn <33.

i'm so sorry you have to deal with that nolan :((

Wait do you take the time to put apostrophes

yes all the time :3

🐸SourByte🐸

even though ik it's not my fault, i hate myself bc i had to either cancel or put on hold commissions and other concept art, which i absolutely despise doing all bc my drawing tablet stopped working. drawing on paper or my sketchbook feels so off (and my sketchbooks are private, mind you) everyone either asks me to show them my drawing or just take it from me. like i got on a fist fight yesterday bc they started it and was such a baby they couldn't understand vent art (i also called them nosy, such an insult smh) no major punches were thrown, but i did win somehow. but i find it so infuriating how ppl cant respect privacy and call me a bitch everytime i dont show them.

i really hope that you get a new tablet soon, AND that people begin to learn respect. also, having to cancel and/or hold off commissions and other art isn't your fault! your tablet broke and you can't control that. if people don't begin learning how to respect others, they're gonna learn the hard way that they can't just do that to others. i'm so sorry people aren't respecting you, your privacy, and the way you respect your feelings, sour. :(( you're far from a bitch. you're an amazing, sarcastic, caring, loving, and intelligent person. just because you don't show someone something you don't want to doesn't make you any less of a person. it also doesn't give you a title. your art is amazing, but that doesn't give others the right to just snatch it from you and snoop at it. i'm so sorry that this happened to you, sour. :c i'm always here for you, and so is everybody else! i hope things get better for you. i love you! /p

i feel like I don't need my meds

4:10 PM

when I take them I don't feel any different

4:10 PM

I hate them

4:10 PM

apparently I have to take them every morning and before I go to sleep

4:10 PM

but I just don't like them, they feel cursed or something

4:12 PM

plus the constant nagging and arguments with my mom when I say I don't want to take them

do you hate taking them because it feels more like an annoying chore/requirement instead of a benefit?

Kinda

4:55 PM

It mostly feels like they're not working

4:55 PM

no matter the dosage

If you dont mind saying, what are they for

5:07 PM

Dont feel obligated to say. Not gonna make you

Zoloft(100mgs) for depression, a Hydroxyzine I forgot the brand but it's 10mg for anxiety

I don’t see the resemblance between me now and the person everyone else sees, the person I am is a self centered, non trustworthy, indecisive, jealous, two faced bitch who can’t keep a single friendship let alone make my partner happy in any way, shape, or form since I’ve been single for a while which isn’t bad but the need for someone to at least love me a little bit is very annoying. Can’t pick which gender they are, can’t be masculine or feminine, just look like both, the reason their dad is dead to begin with. I just want someone, My ideal boyfriend would be someone who is there for me 24/7, would do anything for me even if it’s spending money on me and I say not to, someone who would not be shy to show me off at all, someone I can be carefree and not keep up appearances with, a kindhearted soul, and someone Who would never hurt me too bad. I just want someone who’ll treat me like I treat them. I’m tired of sticking out like a sore thumb, I’m tired of always being jealous and envious of others, I’m tired of not being able to make many friends or be extroverted. I’m just tired of people not being able to handle me not even at tip top shape, as soon as I have one bad day and I’m not all happy go lucky. They get upset at ME. I’m sick and tired of everything and it’s not getting better. I’ve tried, I’ve been trying. For the last 6 years I’ve tried and it’s not getting better.

I feel that.

Yeah. I just don’t want to do anything so I’d rather get it out now before I completely go on self destructive mode

At least you're able to get it out

9:39 PM

It's hard for me to go deep into stuff I guess

The only reason I can is because I barely know anyone here, nobody has any connection to me so I can get what I need to get out

Understandable

9:41 PM

I'm just tongue tied and awkward

I feel that on a personal level

why am i so easily attached

9:43 PM

sorry

Because your attention starved and crave it. As soon as anyone gives it to you, you go head over heels

yeah...

Even I understand that, and I still get attached easily. It’s just who we are

you mind if i add you?

Go ahead, I don’t mind

thank you

No problem friend

9:45 PM

I feel like crying and I don't know why

Why do people like me (edited)

Gewelle

Why do people like me (edited)

Because you’re a like-able person (edited)

not at all

every body out here kissing boys

1:17 AM

when i aint ever held hands with one boycrying

I have

1:32 AM

Mark the words of mineself Bread Boy of the Dark Wheat first thing I'll do when I get images perms is to post my lil cat, me flexing and me and my cat

1:36 AM

(After all my life I'm just developing an ego and I wanna see how funky it gets) (edited)

real

1:37 AM

my therapist called me narcissistic

He's just like me frfr

1:38 AM

I have like 80 pics of me in my galerie

I have two

But it's pretty recent so yeah, idk

bread boy commits tax evasion

I'm not old enough to pay taxes

1:40 AM

A W for me and a L for the govermnet

one can only dream of untaxed income

bread boy robs an undisclosed government facility

Juvie ain't that bad

1:41 AM

Lol

bread boy puts gnarpy in a blender (edited)

Bread Boy

Juvie ain't that bad

literally

1:47 AM

neither is the mental hospital

Bread Boy

Juvie ain't that bad

Hard disagree

1:47 AM

It fucking sucked

snifferoftheglue

Hard disagree

(Never been in juvie)

Same

Bread Boy

(Never been in juvie)

Lucky

1:50 AM

Dont

1:50 AM

Fucking dont

1:50 AM

2 months of it sucked (edited)

Whyd you go

nolan

Whyd you go

Was listening to a friend and I thought he was just venting and I was distracted playing games on my chromebook at school, turns out he was talking about shooting up the school and my dumbass wasn’t listening so I became an accessory because I didn’t report it

1:52 AM

2 years of my life fucked

1:52 AM

At 12

1:52 AM

I was in Juvie at 12

You went to for 2 years?

nolan

You went to for 2 years?

2 months but from march of 2020 into late 2021 my life was fucked up and I was dealing with the legal system

1:53 AM

If I had been in 2 years I wouldn’t have made it

1:54 AM

It fucking sucked

1:54 AM

I do not recommend

1:54 AM

Room service was bad

Oki

0/10

I’m sorry to hear that bro

Food was a 1/10

Sounds like bs

nolan

I’m sorry to hear that bro

Kinda my fault bc I didnt report it

1:54 AM

But yeah

1:54 AM

Im happy he didnt have time to act

Oh yeah

Police: yeah this 12 y/o zoned out while his maniac friend venting, jail his ass (edited)

Bread Boy

Police: yeah this 12 y/o zoned out while his maniac friend venting, jail his ass (edited)

I also got expelled an extra year

1:57 AM

2024 to his 2023

Real talk man, so sorry I hear that

Probably bc of my 104 write up (~70% of which were because I got pissed “made a scene” )

1:59 AM

Why did I make a scene

1:59 AM

Beacuse dumbfuck and his 3 stooges wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone

2:00 AM

And every and any time I reported him

2:00 AM

What happened?

2:00 AM

Jack shit

2:00 AM

Jack

2:00 AM

Fucking

2:00 AM

Shit

2:00 AM

Cunt ass teachers

2:00 AM

Cunt ass principals

2:01 AM

All of elementary school was dealing with him

2:02 AM

Middle school was 6th and then a little bit of 7th and then juvie

Damn

I read 63 books in under 60 days

is everyone doing alright? there's been a lot of venting lately and i just wanna make sure everyone is doing alright. <33

eh

5:27 PM

not really

1

what's wrong? i'm always here if you need to talk abt anything, as well as everybody else :))

autumn <33.

is everyone doing alright? there's been a lot of venting lately and i just wanna make sure everyone is doing alright. <33

Totally

are you sure?

Yup

if you say so. if you ever need somebody to talk to i'm always here for you <33

i think im going crazy

why do you say that?

i dont know

6:40 PM

i just feel off today

Same

in genuine physical pain too

Same

twinnn

6:42 PM

it feels like acid in my veins its weird and it hurts

My ear is making me barely able to sleep. Went to sleep for 3 hours before waking up due to the pain thwn going back to the pain. And getting my ear flushed out did absolutely nothing

Friday/1/19/2024 Objective: Students will understand how to diagram an electrical schematic. Tool: Ground Screw

?

I dunno

6:46 PM

my taste in music is so broken

6:46 PM

i heard my teacher using a pencil sharpener and it screeched

6:46 PM

i thought it was an intro to a breakcore song

6:46 PM

and i thought it sounded good

6:46 PM

Go to #🗨┃general for this stuff, please!

is anyone dms open at this moment i need to vent too someone

ariel

is anyone dms open at this moment i need to vent too someone

Go ahead

<KitKat> ping to talk to

Go ahead

you can friend me if you want.

ariel

is anyone dms open at this moment i need to vent too someone

mine are always open for venting

snifferoftheglue

mine are always open for venting

you can friend me

Mine are if you ask if you can vent first

6:56 PM

No gurrentees i'll give an answer to it but i'll still read

"New year new me" "new year same me" New year worse me, I want chaos I love crime and tax evasion

This isnt really a vent?

A fuck, mistook for general

It's just getting harder and harder, I can't even get out of bed without having a mental breakdown, because I'm just tired and it's so hard. I sleep less, I eat less, I'm less happy, my grades are dropping, I'm coming to school late, because I get up later, I'm more mean, I wear only the two same old outfits as always and my sh tendencies are stronger by the day.

i just got a wave of a depression-like sadness a few minutes ago

4:22 AM

for no reason

4:22 AM

woop woop

SugarSky

i just got a wave of a depression-like sadness a few minutes ago

:[ im sorry man, i get that all the time but i thought it was just me. really hope you feel better soon <33 /p

4:35 AM

you're not alone

i feel it

i might actually cry because of my ear

4:49 AM

it's all in my ear now and even going to the base of it

SugarSky

it's all in my ear now and even going to the base of it

The ear doctor is sure its not an ear infection?

On antibiotics. Going the 31st to an ent

i have it so good, but at what cost? good grades, i get all my work done, good family, good(ish) friends, a whole bunch of people supporting me, financially im good, but i just feel empty. i dont need it, i just dont. i should be feeling my best, right? right? but why, do i find myself crying over stupid little things in the midnight hours? why do i have these dark thoughts? i need someone to talk to, in reality. but i just cant. everyday just feels awful. im reaching out for help i cant grasp.

🐸SourByte🐸

i have it so good, but at what cost? good grades, i get all my work done, good family, good(ish) friends, a whole bunch of people supporting me, financially im good, but i just feel empty. i dont need it, i just dont. i should be feeling my best, right? right? but why, do i find myself crying over stupid little things in the midnight hours? why do i have these dark thoughts? i need someone to talk to, in reality. but i just cant. everyday just feels awful. im reaching out for help i cant grasp.

If you need to dm someone my dms are open

5:35 AM

Dark thoughts are (kinda) normal just cant pet them win (edited)

5:36 AM

Were here for you if you need it

ikk but i need help in real life, no offense. it just doesn't feel real online. thats just me though.

5:37 AM

ty tho

🐸SourByte🐸

ikk but i need help in real life, no offense. it just doesn't feel real online. thats just me though.

Yeah i get it

I having bad thoughts again

8:17 AM

I just wish I wasn’t here sometimes

8:18 AM

But if that happened imagine the people I’ll hurt

8:18 AM

And everything is just so shitty now

8:19 AM

I’m 14 I shouldn’t have to worry about who I’m gonna sit with at lunch, who I should work with in clsss, i shouldn’t have to think of suicide as an escape

8:19 AM

I just wish I could be a kid again

8:25 AM

I just fucking everything

8:25 AM

What if everyone just hates me

8:26 AM

How can I truly know these people like me

8:26 AM

How can I know they even care

8:26 AM

Someone can say they care and not mean it

8:26 AM

They could say it a million times and you would never know how they actually feel

Hey brotha that's a heavy topic I can say a million things but I'm not sure if you want to hear it

8:27 AM

If you'd like I can give you advice?

Ig

But if you just want to vent you keep at it

Idc if you do

nolan

Idc if you do

Well what troubles you?

8:31 AM

What's eating at your soul to the point you consider it?

Idk

Well it's gotta be something?

8:34 AM

What do you feel you are missing?

nolan

Idk

What do you crave?

Nvm I don’t need advice

Alright

8:52 AM

Glad you came over it

God damn

5:09 PM

I'm never sleeping again

5:09 PM

worst nightmare I've ever had

5:13 PM

basically, it was a normal school day but my dad went to the hospital right after I left for school. then when I got home, my mom was crying and told me he died

5:13 PM

and it was was so vivid, so real feeling how hard those words hit me

5:13 PM

i cried in the nightmare

5:13 PM

and I woke up and cried in bed for an hour

God mcdonalds suck

10:17 PM

It's so hard to deal with all these customers constantly

10:18 PM

I don't know why mcdonalds advertises as a beginner job, it is anything but. Not just any 15 year old can walk in here and do okayish, it requires coordination and heavy communication

I hate having crushes

12:02 AM

I get attached way to early snd always get hurt in the end

12:02 AM

And like im scared to tell people i like them now

12:03 AM

In the fear of rejection and losing them

why am i such a fucking idiot all the time? why does everyone else but me know how to do simple tasks like swimming, biking, and shit like that? why am i the only one who doesn’t know where shit goes when there’s no room for it to fit in its designated spot? why am i the only one with no common sense whatsoever? i desperately try to do learn how to swim, bike, be better at analyzing my surroundings, and have more common sense, but i fail every single damn time. it gets worse considering i’m gonna be a legal adult in less than a month and i’ll have to make decisions for myself, when i don’t even know how to budget or create a resume. i don’t know anymore.

i feel that

Y'all fucking shattered my god complex, not cool boycrying

4:37 AM

4:38 AM

How tf am I going to make heaven kneel being 5'4?!

bruh i’m 5’6” i’m short too

4:40 AM

i say i’m 5’9” but only because that’s my height when i don’t hunch

move to another channel please..

Bread Boy

How tf am I going to make heaven kneel being 5'4?!

Be a little twink? Is okie to be short, just gonna have to buy step stools…

snifferoftheglue

Be a little twink? Is okie to be short, just gonna have to buy step stools…

can you not

1

i hate how easily i get very irritated. one wrong message and my mood goes all the way down for a bit. and i have to take a break from said platform i am on and go do something else. idk what causes this, now, habit. but i wish it wasnt here. :3

i heard that could be a symptom of depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder

5:24 AM

do you have any of those or think that you have any of those?

first 2

gotcha

5:34 AM

usually people with those disorders can get irritated easily due to all of their pent up feelings. they don't know how else to feel

5:35 AM

with anxiety, it sometimes causes a bunch of stress, and when you can't let it go away, it builds up and can eventually form easy frustration

i literally hate venting but idk what to do

5:42 AM

everything hurts so fucking bad but it's so numb at the same time

5:43 AM

comfort does literally nothing for me. people have tried to comfort me before and only one person can do it correctly

5:43 AM

why am i so complicated

5:44 AM

whenever someone actually tries to be there for me i always joke about it and laugh it off because i'm just used to other people doing that to me

5:44 AM

so now i almost feel sorta creeped out whenever people try to give me comfort

5:44 AM

i just want people to listen to me. is that too much to ask for?

5:45 AM

apparently it fucking is

5:46 AM

like i get you don't know how to comfort me and that's perfectly fine but i'll try and actually listen to you and be there for you instead of ALWAYS just responding with, "oh" "same" "sorry" like it's always those three words. it's never anything else

5:47 AM

can't you just at least show that you care? like for fuck sake i'm bawling my eyes out wondering if i should just hang myself or not and all you say is "oh same" like okay i'm js fucking done lol i'm a selfish person who can't appreciate anything

5:47 AM

and then they complain whenever i can't be there for them every single day like i'm sorry but i have shit going on right now too but it doesn't even matter does it

sorry abt this lol

dont be

nono i should be

why should you be sorry?

because

6:14 AM

idk

6:14 AM

i just am

6:15 AM

y'all shouldn't have to read all that

there is no shame in expressing feelings. especially if they are getting that bad.

6:15 AM

i've already read it all

fuck

just didnt respond because i dont know how to form words right now

what's wrong??

it's important to show your emotions

autumn <33.

what's wrong??

no. this is about you

6:16 AM

i'm just sleepy

nono

6:16 AM

ohh okay gotcha

shit

I agree

i too agree on this matter

autumn <33.

that's awful. no one deserves that. :(( i truly do hope it gets better for him. <33

UPDATE: It's not going well for him, he has caught his bf cheating on him. He's deleted discord I think and he ain't responding on snap... (edited)

He's okay now

The over glorification of mental health issues make me feel more broken than ever before. The idea of a solution or medication that works. The idea that "everything will be ok" is not true for me. Happiness is temporary. Dissatisfaction is my baseline. What has caused it I can not say but it is there and thats not changing. My mind is broken. I am emotionally unavailable and manic. Impulsive and self destructive. My own brain will eat itself apart eventually causing my demise. Whether figuratively or literally the disease I fight is chronic. It means me harm. It means to make every day as unwholesome as possible. It means to steal away my perception and craft a dark gloomy and untrue visage of what the world really is. Days blend. Time passes unbearably slow at a rate so fast I cant even perceive it. I feel no difference between waking and sleeping and I find no reprieve in things that should make me happy. This is unfinished.

I once trusted a girl a very deep secret, and first time coming out to someone after an familial incident... I hate her with the power of a thousand dying neutron stars, and nothing can quench my thirst for revenge other than the blood of the sinner

3:12 AM

I just wanted to him to caress my cheek with his big hands and call me his, but a fate as sweet as that befell the one who stole my humanity

I just wanted his pure unfiltered devotion, she will never love him like I would

Local British Lad

UPDATE: It's not going well for him, he has caught his bf cheating on him. He's deleted discord I think and he ain't responding on snap... (edited)

He's dead.

Poor guy

Oh no

oh no

He got pulled off at the last second and is alive

Trying to gain weight for me is so fuckin draining like I feel sick 24/7 and everything hurts plus gym and in the point of getting in better shape I'm pushing myself way to hard and there's really nobody at my school like me I feel so disconnected and detatched from everyone

3:52 AM

Like eating is starting to feel torturous

3:52 AM

Bite after bite it barely ever seems to go away

3:55 AM

I just want a pet cat

3:55 AM

Like that'd help sm

MaeDei

Trying to gain weight for me is so fuckin draining like I feel sick 24/7 and everything hurts plus gym and in the point of getting in better shape I'm pushing myself way to hard and there's really nobody at my school like me I feel so disconnected and detatched from everyone

I have the same issue, don't worry bud, it's for the long game

6:13 AM

Just because in our schools nobody understands us doesn't mean we have to quit

6:14 AM

After plenty of years you'll get the wanted results

6:15 AM

It's hella hard but we'll make it

I have a sort of opposite problem. I'm not naturally skinny, and naturally love food, and no matter how hard I try i can't stop eating and gaining wait

6:29 AM

But a nice way I cope with it is by telling myself that some people like chubby people to use a teddy bear

I like chubs, my bf is chubby -w-

i just coughed up blood

7:53 AM

i'm allowed to stay home

7:54 AM

i have had a cough since early december and because of that i could barely sleep

7:54 AM

i'm so dizzy now

rednas

i just coughed up blood

i have never touched a cigarette or vape and all that stuff in my life

You definitely have to get that checked

8:02 AM

It may be some lung cancer or smth

i went a couple weeks ago and they said it was just a cough

9:11 AM

i'm going to the doctor again later

How do I even deal with my hatred and frustration? I feel like I got stuck in a loop where i have a deep need to do something yet i want to blow my brains out because of even the most minor mistake, should I just quit and find something else guys? (edited)

Really..

BONES

Really..

They put it in every channel

7:32 PM

They dont care

Yeah I really didn't think vent too tho. That's low as fuck

BONES

Yeah I really didn't think vent too tho. That's low as fuck

Again it’s probably just a bot

Not gay space

BONES

Not gay space

Mods are deleting it

bro i think i have mommy issues but i love my mom so much

12:41 AM

GGAFUGUHFG this is confusing (edited)

Why do you think mommy issues

I have mommy issues and I dont love my mother enough boycrying

12:59 AM

To be fair I dont feel all that loved either, i know i am, just dont feel lots

SH i dont exactly remember when it started. all i know is that i kept intentionally put myself if danger, self destructive behavior, or doing insane dares that included myself. for example, i used to put my hands on hot metal on purpose to see if it hurt. i never stopped. someone always had to pull me away. one time i but my hands on a hot stove. one time i put a lighter on the tips of my fingers. one time i shoved my hands in ice cold water until they turned numb so it wouldn't hurt if i did...yeah. ive always wanted to throw myself in a fire since certain stuff happened. but uh. yeah. new "lore" ig. the worst part is, i still do those kind of things. (edited)

1:29 AM

im sorry just wanted to get this off my chest to some people who cared enough to read it (edited)

🐸SourByte🐸

im sorry just wanted to get this off my chest to some people who cared enough to read it (edited)

Impulsive behavior is common in neurodivergent people. You aren't alone. Theres a certain morbid curiosity that comes with certain behavior types. We can talk about it more if you want.

After distancing myself from my former love and formee friend, i was still engulfed in rage, (you see, i had a pretty fucked up childhood, and somehow she managed to piss me off so much it easily overcame the hate I felt for everyone who wronged me for years combined) I was forced to spend the rest of the school year breathing the same air as hers, I had to watch them play and joke, I had to watch them hug and lean on each other, I had to constantly see her looking at him, with the same loving gaze and smile I used to give to him, to be fair I dont like to be a violent person, I like to talk out whatever problem I may have, but I fucking wanted to split her skull open, I wanted to beat her to near death, I wanted to munch on her wrist and drink the blood from her jugular it tot so bad that I developed an "outlet", I would constantly bite my own wrist to the point my teeth pierced the flesh to this day I still have faded mark's of it on my skin, along side that I started to dive deeper into working out at home, one day I did cardio for 2 straight-ish hours, then gradually lessen it up as I developed a daily routine. Ever since then I am hellbent on becoming better than her, she wasn't the athletic time and (with kind terms) a sizable person, I'm obsessed on becoming more empathetic than her, I want to have sharper morals than her, I want to be kinder, I want to be more human than her. I want to be better than her in every way I can. (edited)

1:58 AM

Not all vents must end on a down note

Bread Boy

After distancing myself from my former love and formee friend, i was still engulfed in rage, (you see, i had a pretty fucked up childhood, and somehow she managed to piss me off so much it easily overcame the hate I felt for everyone who wronged me for years combined) I was forced to spend the rest of the school year breathing the same air as hers, I had to watch them play and joke, I had to watch them hug and lean on each other, I had to constantly see her looking at him, with the same loving gaze and smile I used to give to him, to be fair I dont like to be a violent person, I like to talk out whatever problem I may have, but I fucking wanted to split her skull open, I wanted to beat her to near death, I wanted to munch on her wrist and drink the blood from her jugular it tot so bad that I developed an "outlet", I would constantly bite my own wrist to the point my teeth pierced the flesh to this day I still have faded mark's of it on my skin, along side that I started to dive deeper into working out at home, one day I did cardio for 2 straight-ish hours, then gradually lessen it up as I developed a daily routine. Ever since then I am hellbent on becoming better than her, she wasn't the athletic time and (with kind terms) a sizable person, I'm obsessed on becoming more empathetic than her, I want to have sharper morals than her, I want to be kinder, I want to be more human than her. I want to be better than her in every way I can. (edited)

Would you like to talk in DMs?

I'm good, changed schools, will never have to see her again

2:02 AM

Didn't wanted to keep all that just for myself, feels a lil nicer to get it off my chest yk

Man wtf, I just politely declined dinner and she threw a fucking plate of food at me and slammed my door wtf man whatd i do

DËFCØN

Man wtf, I just politely declined dinner and she threw a fucking plate of food at me and slammed my door wtf man whatd i do

with who?

Brother what??

DËFCØN

Brother what??

well idk if you have a sister or smth

2:22 AM

you said she

2:23 AM

idk man

2:23 AM

sorry to hear that happened

DËFCØN

Man wtf, I just politely declined dinner and she threw a fucking plate of food at me and slammed my door wtf man whatd i do

thats horrible >:[

Murder

SugarSky

Murder

what?

Murder

SugarSky

Murder

redruM

Yes

I miss her, I miss her more than anything. I have her pinned in my dms, and always look to see if she's edited a message or something. At this point I don't why I'm looking at all. It's gonna be a while before she comes back if she even wants to. It's hard to go on without her, having to feel like my life is solitude just cause her parents decided I wasn't a good fit for her mental health. She didn't want to leave me, and if either of us try to see eachother I'm getting in big legal trouble. Having to wait so long, even without the gaurentee my patience will be rewarded, is incredibly disheartening. Guess I have to fill my hollow heart with various flings and short term relationships just so I don't have to think about how much it hurts every morning, and how I can only be happy in my dreams where I'm always with her

7:44 AM

Putting up a charming and charismatic front just to dull the pain is hard, but no one wants anything to do with a sad lonely loser who wines about his commitment issues and can't maintain intimacy for long periods of time unless it's incredibly shallow

I got pinged by a random person in a server, and apparently asking why I was pinged was enough to get me banned with the message "SHUT YO BITCH ASS UP". I'm too tired for this

‍

sj_killingspree

I got pinged by a random person in a server, and apparently asking why I was pinged was enough to get me banned with the message "SHUT YO BITCH ASS UP". I'm too tired for this

‍

damn that sucks

I forgot to take his birthday out of my phone

i love you guys

autumn <33.

i love you guys

?

4:25 AM

You alright

Just a quick vent, i dont really expect a response but its nice to get my feelings out sometimes Im just sad that everyday i become a bigger disappointment to my family I try really hard to make them proud of me My dad is disgusted of me He says i will go to hell because i like guys He drives me out into the middle of nowhere claiming we are going on a grocery run so he can talk to me without being intervened Then he will scold me and say how im going to hell My life is bad because of it and hes disappointed I got a new job recently A pharma type job It pays well and i thought for sure he'd be proud but he couldnt care any less My grades are nothing to make them proud either My mom tries to be sweet and loving and i thank her deeply for that but even she is against me when i choose to be with guys I wanna make her proud too Or atleast make her happy I wanna make my family happy Thats why i constantly give away my money to friends and family So they can be happy The only one that seems genuinely supportive of me is my sis I was going through all of this while also overthinking abt things I got with a girl to make them happy and my parents happy but she left me a few days later I was just a tool to make her ex jealous My friends all treated me poorly so ig they arent really friends Their words got to me, its dumb ik So eventually i attempted to commit Hoping that would bring my family some happiness and maybe my "friends" Ive been in therapy for four months now I was getting better but lately ive been getting worse abt it and so i js wanted to vent abt it ig

‍♂️

6:34 AM

Not really a quick vent lmao

@Axerion once you're financially stable by yourself move out immediately, this hellhole is unbearable

lazysock98_1.1

@Axerion once you're financially stable by yourself move out immediately, this hellhole is unbearable

Ill try but i still got three more years before i even legally can sadly

I believe in you, you'll manage it

lazysock98_1.1

I believe in you, you'll manage it

Thanks :]

I'm coming from Poland and there's homophobia like people on black friday

7:20 AM

We even have long meme'd LGBT free zones so yeah

lazysock98_1.1

I'm coming from Poland and there's homophobia like people on black friday

Thats horrible im sorry :<

7:30 AM

I wish for the best for you

Don't be sorry about something you can't change, heh

7:30 AM

Unnecessary stress

lazysock98_1.1

Don't be sorry about something you can't change, heh

We all hope for it to change though You deserve a welcoming place ^^

My estranged father who I haven't spoken to for years (my mom has had custody of me for the past 2-3 years) is now back in my hometown. He's come to my house to try and speak with me in the past, and I have the feeling he's going to do the same thing today. I've made it clear I want nothing to do with him yet he thinks I still actually like him. It's a long story as to why I hate the man and I don't feel like divulging that to yall (no offense) so I'll spare the details but he's a general piece of shit and I wouldn't put it past him to make me call the police on him for something.

Flynnch

My estranged father who I haven't spoken to for years (my mom has had custody of me for the past 2-3 years) is now back in my hometown. He's come to my house to try and speak with me in the past, and I have the feeling he's going to do the same thing today. I've made it clear I want nothing to do with him yet he thinks I still actually like him. It's a long story as to why I hate the man and I don't feel like divulging that to yall (no offense) so I'll spare the details but he's a general piece of shit and I wouldn't put it past him to make me call the police on him for something.

At least he’s making an effort

3:43 PM

Mine doesn’t lol

Flynnch

My estranged father who I haven't spoken to for years (my mom has had custody of me for the past 2-3 years) is now back in my hometown. He's come to my house to try and speak with me in the past, and I have the feeling he's going to do the same thing today. I've made it clear I want nothing to do with him yet he thinks I still actually like him. It's a long story as to why I hate the man and I don't feel like divulging that to yall (no offense) so I'll spare the details but he's a general piece of shit and I wouldn't put it past him to make me call the police on him for something.

:/ sorry to hear that, if he comes to your house lock the doors and treat him like a stranger

3:44 PM

Idek what my dad thinks of me rn

♡ [RES] Alphaxx ♡

At least he’s making an effort

"Making an effort" would be staying far away from me

I haven’t seen my dad in 15 years

Lucky

No it’s not lmao

Wish I was in your boat then lol

You dislike your father for your own reasons, I wish mine was present but I hate him bc he wasn’t and he only kept in contact because of his wife at the time who died from cancer after he started a new family with her

3:46 PM

Plus other things

3:46 PM

But I’d prefer mine making an effort to be in my life over this shit lmao

I wish my dad hadn’t tried to ‘fix things’ he was an abusive addict for most of his life

3:48 PM

And now all he does is complain about how others fucked up

OH

3:48 PM

in that case

3:48 PM

Fuck that how

3:48 PM

Hoe

Same with me minus addiction, unless you count crackpot conspiracy theories as an addiction

Flynnch

Same with me minus addiction, unless you count crackpot conspiracy theories as an addiction

Oh no

yh no keep him out

♡ [RES] Alphaxx ♡

Hoe

Yeah, he never hurt me (that I can remember) but he hurt my mom, my half sisters mom, and who knows who else

3:49 PM

Just a cunt

snifferoftheglue

Yeah, he never hurt me (that I can remember) but he hurt my mom, my half sisters mom, and who knows who else

My dad never physically hurt me, but emotionally and mentally yes by leaving lol. He left me with my alcoholic drug addicted mother and I suffered thru years of abuse and neglect and still occasionally go thru it

Only gonna talk to him when im 18 for the .22 he “gave” me

But idc anymore lol

3:50 PM

I’m living my best life

♡ [RES] Alphaxx ♡

Oh no

yh no keep him out

I'm talking flat earth, covid is fake, moonlanding is fake, we live in a simulation, people are under mind control, they're poisoning the food we eat, everyone is out to get you type beat

Flynnch

I'm talking flat earth, covid is fake, moonlanding is fake, we live in a simulation, people are under mind control, they're poisoning the food we eat, everyone is out to get you type beat

YES BRO I HATE THAT SHIT

♡ [RES] Alphaxx ♡

My dad never physically hurt me, but emotionally and mentally yes by leaving lol. He left me with my alcoholic drug addicted mother and I suffered thru years of abuse and neglect and still occasionally go thru it

:/ I’m sorry you have to deal with that

idk if it’s just cos I’m intelligent but all the point for all of those conspiracies I can explain away through SCIENCE

snifferoftheglue

:/ I’m sorry you have to deal with that

I’m not it made me an amazing person

3:51 PM

And also I’m a badass bitch

3:51 PM

So I lucked out

He "taught" me so much I can tear down just about any argument because of the shit I've heard

For realll

Flynnch

I'm talking flat earth, covid is fake, moonlanding is fake, we live in a simulation, people are under mind control, they're poisoning the food we eat, everyone is out to get you type beat

Yeah my great uncle is the same way, super nice but a little bit crazy

My moms current fisnce can’t stfu about those kinda conspiracies

Also that my mom apparently cheated on him (untrue) and she totally didn't leave because he was abusive

And he always LOVES to tell me that I’m ignorant

♡ [RES] Alphaxx ♡

My moms current fisnce can’t stfu about those kinda conspiracies

Murder

Sir… this is why your failed and dropped outta high school and went to selling drugs to live… BC UR FUCKING STUPID

3:52 PM

I hate stupid people

3:52 PM

Like they annoy me

Flynnch

Murder

thats a felony

Trying to explain the most basic shit

3:52 PM

DHAKWNWJEJSNWNENNS

My dad is intelligent in the sense he's a good engineer and can work out puzzles really well (which I inherited) but he CANNOT use common sense

snifferoftheglue

thats a felony

It's not a crime if you don't get caught

1

I’m universally intelligent I think, cos like I know more than most ppl my age, I’m very good in all school subjects, and very good at basic life knowledge shit and other stuff

3:53 PM

Like idk how to describe it

3:53 PM

But like no one my age has ever been at the level of brain power I am and it SHOWS

3:54 PM

I had bitches in kindergarten on some “wym water isn’t wet” like ITS NOT WET

MY DAD JUST SENT A PICTURE OF THE OUTSIDE OF MY SCHOOL I'M CURRENTLY IN RIGHT THIS SECOND

Erm

3:54 PM

Cops

3:54 PM

Immediately

Flynnch

MY DAD JUST SENT A PICTURE OF THE OUTSIDE OF MY SCHOOL I'M CURRENTLY IN RIGHT THIS SECOND

Nah

3:54 PM

Creepy as hell

That’s some stalker shit

1

3:54 PM

If he don’t have custody he has no right

He's walking his dog but like

EWEEEEEEWWWWWE

Why the fuck is he outside my school

Maybe he’s just silly

/j Im sorry

I'll put it in #photos the dog is max, used to be my dog but dad kept him

3:55 PM

Love the dog to death tho

snifferoftheglue

Maybe he’s just silly

/j Im sorry

Allg he's more than silly he's a bitch

♡ [RES] Alphaxx ♡

I’m universally intelligent I think, cos like I know more than most ppl my age, I’m very good in all school subjects, and very good at basic life knowledge shit and other stuff

I relate to that a bit, except in math and science; I’m terrible at those. But I tend to often act and think more intellectually than most other 16 year olds lol. I also tend to have a more “high-brow” music taste than anyone else I know irl, other than my brother who’s equal to me. Most people just listen to pop and hip-hop with an excessive amount of autotune

straferz

I relate to that a bit, except in math and science; I’m terrible at those. But I tend to often act and think more intellectually than most other 16 year olds lol. I also tend to have a more “high-brow” music taste than anyone else I know irl, other than my brother who’s equal to me. Most people just listen to pop and hip-hop with an excessive amount of autotune

60-70s music right?

3:57 PM

Right???

snifferoftheglue

60-70s music right?

Yeah I love The Beatles, and esp Pink Floyd

Its good music right????

straferz

Yeah I love The Beatles, and esp Pink Floyd

Lfg

3:57 PM

See im normal

I wanna make a Floyd joke but idk if I'll be yelled at for it

straferz

Yeah I love The Beatles, and esp Pink Floyd

I also like Radiohead (~~I’m a virgin~~)

Flynnch

I wanna make a Floyd joke but idk if I'll be yelled at for it

Not the right air to make that kind of joke

That's why imma not

straferz

I also like Radiohead (~~I’m a virgin~~)

(~~Real~~)

straferz

I also like Radiohead (~~I’m a virgin~~)

~~aint we all?~~

~~This is a boykisser server every last one of us is~~

1

Real af

autumn <33.

i love you guys

me after not being able to send another message because my discord stopped working entirely last night

Why I broke up with my boyfriend and am currently depressed: We were on a vc as usual and he was making fun of non binary people and talking about his intentions to go on servers that are safe spaces for them and bully them. I then pointed out that I am gender fluid and use any pronouns, INCLUDING THEY/THEM. His response was to leave the call because he was so upset with this and apparently me using those pronouns "made him uncomfortable"

sj_killingspree

Why I broke up with my boyfriend and am currently depressed: We were on a vc as usual and he was making fun of non binary people and talking about his intentions to go on servers that are safe spaces for them and bully them. I then pointed out that I am gender fluid and use any pronouns, INCLUDING THEY/THEM. His response was to leave the call because he was so upset with this and apparently me using those pronouns "made him uncomfortable"

Blame the “Top G” for making ppl think hatefully like that

sj_killingspree

Why I broke up with my boyfriend and am currently depressed: We were on a vc as usual and he was making fun of non binary people and talking about his intentions to go on servers that are safe spaces for them and bully them. I then pointed out that I am gender fluid and use any pronouns, INCLUDING THEY/THEM. His response was to leave the call because he was so upset with this and apparently me using those pronouns "made him uncomfortable"

aww :( that sucks he I’m sorry he did that and you had to break up with him

straferz

Blame the “Top G” for making ppl think hatefully like that

And ppl like him (~~fucking hate that guy he’s such an asshole. Idk why ppl listen to his crazy bullshit~~)

I don't have pic perms but let's just say I ended up having to block his "friend" as well for informing me that he was planning to off himself and then ACTUALLY LAUGHING AND HOPING HE DID

WHAT

sj_killingspree

I don't have pic perms but let's just say I ended up having to block his "friend" as well for informing me that he was planning to off himself and then ACTUALLY LAUGHING AND HOPING HE DID

How did you end up in that crowd of people?

Ok genuinely why aren’t there any gay people where I live

2:13 AM

Like there is but not at my school or anywhere I swear

2:13 AM

There’s a bunch of lesbians and trans guys and bi girls and stuff but there’s no genuine gay mlm people

2:13 AM

I’m gonna lose it

2:13 AM

Because wtf why am I the only one

2:14 AM

I see my friends (girls) getting all excited saying they have a crush on this new guy and I just have to listen to it all knowing it’ll never happen to me

2:14 AM

At least not until Im in college probably

2:14 AM

Even then who knows

2:15 AM

Even the ugliest or bitchiest people get a bf or gf but I don’t even have an option

People can be so mean sometimes oh my gosh :[ like I was at work today right, and this group came up to the concession counter and said that their Pizza and mozzarella sticks were really cold Which we had called them over a speaker about 4 times in the span of like 30 minutes and we had to put the stuff in the warmer And they were just being really mean about it and I was struggling not to tear up, thankfully I didn't cry And I had to re-make their mozzarella sticks but they got refunded for the pizza, and then I brought it out directly to their table and when I got behind the counter again they said really loud so I could hear and they said they were frozen?? They were straight out of the fryer and I think I actually overcooked them a little Like I wouldn't mind remaking their stuff but they were just really mean about it and I tend to not deal with those type of people very well I'm thankful I didn't cry in front of my coworkers though, that woulda been embarrassing as hell

6:55 AM

I'm sensitive as hell too so I still feel bad for messing up their orders even if I technically didn't mess them up :')

Witchy Nerd

People can be so mean sometimes oh my gosh :[ like I was at work today right, and this group came up to the concession counter and said that their Pizza and mozzarella sticks were really cold Which we had called them over a speaker about 4 times in the span of like 30 minutes and we had to put the stuff in the warmer And they were just being really mean about it and I was struggling not to tear up, thankfully I didn't cry And I had to re-make their mozzarella sticks but they got refunded for the pizza, and then I brought it out directly to their table and when I got behind the counter again they said really loud so I could hear and they said they were frozen?? They were straight out of the fryer and I think I actually overcooked them a little Like I wouldn't mind remaking their stuff but they were just really mean about it and I tend to not deal with those type of people very well I'm thankful I didn't cry in front of my coworkers though, that woulda been embarrassing as hell

i'm so sorry you had to deal with such an immature customer. people really need to learn how to respect others because that's just straight up rude and disrespectful.

7:04 AM

i really hope the next time you go to work, it's better :((

Yeah I've had mostly good experiences at work but that just got me I'm just glad I didn't cry because that would've made the situation worse aha My soft heart can take a beating in some situations but damn it gets to me

Witchy Nerd

People can be so mean sometimes oh my gosh :[ like I was at work today right, and this group came up to the concession counter and said that their Pizza and mozzarella sticks were really cold Which we had called them over a speaker about 4 times in the span of like 30 minutes and we had to put the stuff in the warmer And they were just being really mean about it and I was struggling not to tear up, thankfully I didn't cry And I had to re-make their mozzarella sticks but they got refunded for the pizza, and then I brought it out directly to their table and when I got behind the counter again they said really loud so I could hear and they said they were frozen?? They were straight out of the fryer and I think I actually overcooked them a little Like I wouldn't mind remaking their stuff but they were just really mean about it and I tend to not deal with those type of people very well I'm thankful I didn't cry in front of my coworkers though, that woulda been embarrassing as hell

As someone who works in the hospitality industry, they would not be getting a refund nor would they be allowed to stay if they were being disrespectful. They didn’t get their shit when they were called 4 times in the span of 30 minutes. At that point it’s their fault and they lose all right to any monetary compensation

soo i found out that i have almost gone through a school shooting

3:43 PM

school shootings are one of my biggest fears

3:43 PM

so that was fun

Woah.

yeah :[

That's fucking scary are you good??

yeah just a little shaken up thats all

3:44 PM

if someone hadn't reported it they would get a teacher and then shoot at random

3:44 PM

which is terrifying asf

Yeah that's horrifying

3:45 PM

I'm glad you're okay and nothing actually happened though

they would have done it during a transition so you would have to hide

Soaring :3

I'm glad you're okay and nothing actually happened though

yeah it was awful

🐸SourByte🐸

they would have done it during a transition so you would have to hide

God that's terrifying as shit

yeah

3:47 PM

and its a huge school with gates everywhere so you cant just run to the streets

3:47 PM

hell, you cant even run to the field

3:48 PM

its super open so you have no places to hide

Fucking hell

Was I in the wrong for trying to help my ex gf be less clingy? It was a problem for her, and when I tried to give her advice to fix it, she took it as an attack on her character, and it made things really sour between us for the rest of the relationship. Did I handle this poorly, and if I did, what should I do differently just in case something like this happens again one day in another relationship?

straferz

Was I in the wrong for trying to help my ex gf be less clingy? It was a problem for her, and when I tried to give her advice to fix it, she took it as an attack on her character, and it made things really sour between us for the rest of the relationship. Did I handle this poorly, and if I did, what should I do differently just in case something like this happens again one day in another relationship?

Quick question, what problem do you have with clinginess and what boundaries did you set with her?

ΣᄃᄂIPƧΣ

Quick question, what problem do you have with clinginess and what boundaries did you set with her?

She would over text me, and it was really excessive and annoying to me

9:18 PM

Like it made me question if she even had a life outside our relationship

9:18 PM

Which she does, but she sure as hell wasn’t acting like it at all

~~I'm so jealous~~ yeah I can understand why that can be exhausting. But did you set any boundaries or did you just let it happen until you had enough

ΣᄃᄂIPƧΣ

~~I'm so jealous~~ yeah I can understand why that can be exhausting. But did you set any boundaries or did you just let it happen until you had enough

I tried to, but that’s when she didn’t take it well

Then I definitely don't blame you

my boyfriend hasn’t been online in days and i’m worried for him

what do i do?

Julian

what do i do?

Message them but if they need space then respect that

wake up tired because I can never seem to get enough sleep and sometimes I stay up for hours at night because I’m hungry but I can’t drink water because it’s before my weigh in so I’m really thirsty too then I decide whether to have breakfast or not and normally I do because I have school and I woudk lose sm faster but I don’t wanna liek fail then I feel bad for eating and think about barfing it half the time or planning how I’ll not do that and that’s basically every meal and half the time for dinner I don’t want to eat but I do for routine or smth and I hate it and barf and I’ve collapsed so many times the schedule of my meal times dominate how my day is run and I’m lowkey neglecting my cat like not giving her enough affection because I need to walk and if I dotn eat even if I do eat a lot I’ll get dizzy and tired and want to kms so I get to feel dead and skinny or fat and better and then my electrolytes are really messed up and I’ve weakened my heart so I can’t do too much and when my electrolytes get really low I can’t walk without falling down and my heart hurts I have to rub my sternum and I want to be 90 pounds cause I woudk actually be perfect but I can’t because I’d be admitted to a ward I’m way heavier and my parents are already shoving food down my throat so I do all of this knowing I’ll never actually reach my goal and be happy with myself and just wish I had a bf or something like that to distract me for 2 fucking seconds out of my day from food and wishing I was thinner but knowing I can’t be until I’m 18 and I have medical autonomy while ALSO knowing even if I was 90 pounds I’d probably be nearing death (like shortened lifespan by at least half) and still not feel skinny enough because I genuinely don’t know what I would do if I wasn’t losing weight because it’s the only thing I’ve done since I was 8 and I don’t remember anything before nothing else matters every other problem seems so mundane and meaningless and I envy people who have normal

5:20 AM

lives and insecurities so bad I don’t even go out with my friends or call them as much because I have to walk or we go out to eat somewhere and I can’t I’d just barf it but I’ve done that so much I’ve disolved my gag reflex or smth and I can still this 6 inch stuffed glove monstrosity down my throat and feel nothing so I don’t even have a way out I can’t exercise purge because my heart is too weak now

5:21 AM

Ok

5:21 AM

But seriously it determines everything

5:21 AM

The only reason I agreed to going to a play I didn’t really know anything about was because I wouldn’t have access to food for a good 2 hours at least

5:21 AM

Btw if anyone’s confused this is from general

5:22 AM

I even have my little ice drink with me because the fizziness will make@me full or just not hungry in case I start getting hungry

5:22 AM

Liek I guess I’ll just die in a hole atp

5:22 AM

Anyways

5:23 AM

Don’t be me @Bread Boy

5:23 AM

Just like eat your normal meals idc if it’s not bad just do it cause I said so

You can rest assured

5:24 AM

I'm scared shitless of catabolising

Cata WHAT

Losing muscle mass cause my body doesn't have enough energy

oh

5:25 AM

Lmao yeah

5:25 AM

Idek

5:25 AM

I wanna strength train again I just have 0 motivation or energy anymore

5:25 AM

I’m gonna be bald my 15 I swear

5:25 AM

And watch me actually get a bf then he finds out and I get dumped cause I’m too ugly

5:26 AM

it’s so hypocritical

5:26 AM

Cause I’m too fat but I’m too skinny to where people think im ugly but both are true

Hey, its alright, you're still young, theres still time

And I know I view my body wrong but I don’t and they’re both true at the same time

5:26 AM

I swear

Bread Boy

Hey, its alright, you're still young, theres still time

idek anymore

5:27 AM

I’ll probably get sent to some ward kicking and screaming

Dont think like that

Oh yeah I’m always fucking cold my hands are freezing

5:27 AM

I now where a thermo fuzzy thin jacket and a puffy jacket to school

5:27 AM

When I used to be fine in short sleeves and maybe a hoodie if it’s cold outside

5:28 AM

I have to wear that stuff inside

Bread Boy

Dont think like that

It’s true though

5:28 AM

Geez, I don't even know what to say

I’m gonna go to a ward then im@gonna turn 18 and starve to death or hate myself forever

I'm not good with feelings yk

Bread Boy

Geez, I don't even know what to say

Trauma dumping

5:28 AM

Idrc

5:28 AM

Cause I don’t really expect people to care it’s really common now

Bread Boy

I'm not good with feelings yk

Yeah it’s fine

teabee

Cause I don’t really expect people to care it’s really common now

It shouldn't be

If I say im losing weight I just get a weird look and an ok

5:29 AM

And if I say im@anorexic im attention seeking and i should just eat

The root of the problem seems to be psychological, I'm sorry but I can't help that far

It is

5:29 AM

Like

5:30 AM

I know at least one reason like

5:30 AM

I’m too much of everything

5:30 AM

I’m too ugly too there too annoying too loud too obnoxious too gay too distracted too uninterested too weird

5:30 AM

I just wanna disappear

5:31 AM

I don’t wanna be there

5:31 AM

So why not just be as@small@as possible

5:31 AM

So I’m not noticeable

5:31 AM

It’s weird logic but

5:31 AM

That’s why I hate my legs the most they’re the biggest part of me they’re the most noticeable

I'm the master of weird logic I get it

And then my mom I’ll wanna buy food and I accidentally got the organic version to apples and she’s like why did you get that that’s more expensive

5:32 AM

When we’re literallt going on a 9k trip to Japan in the summer liek I think my 3 dollar mistake is affordable

5:32 AM

I’ll just not eat if it’s such a big deal wtf

Yeah the healthy food market is ridiculously overpriced

My mom she’s like

I'd kill for those organic cookies

She talked about my body a few times and I never@forgot

Bread Boy

I'd kill for those organic cookies

Cookies are scary

Ikr

5:33 AM

Sorry for interrupting, go on

It’s a race to see what goes first my teeth or hair

5:34 AM

I dunno

5:34 AM

There’s not much else to say

5:34 AM

like I’m just lonely too probably

5:34 AM

Last June I was talking to someone online for a few weeks and I started recovering a little bit for them

5:34 AM

Cause they were nice and uh idk

5:34 AM

I guess I felt better

5:35 AM

But then he disappeared but it wasn’t his fault he was really busy and was sick

5:35 AM

He got kidney surgeries

5:35 AM

And a lot of other stuff but he came back recently but he’s gone again

5:35 AM

Oh yeah wanna know something else dumb !!

Go for it

I’m like I bet if I was skinnier I would have a bf already but at the same time if I get to like bmi 14 like I want to they’ll probably think I’m too disgusting

5:36 AM

And just like

5:36 AM

A huge burden

teabee

I’m like I bet if I was skinnier I would have a bf already but at the same time if I get to like bmi 14 like I want to they’ll probably think I’m too disgusting

I'm sure that no one would look at you that way

5:37 AM

Specially more someone that loves you like that

There’s all those straight guys online who are like she’s too skinny ew

Bread Boy

Specially more someone that loves you like that

yeah but

5:37 AM

I don’t think it’s ever going to happen

5:37 AM

Until I’m in college or@something

teabee

There’s all those straight guys online who are like she’s too skinny ew

Those are just jerks

Because taht might be true but no one’s gonna date me if they already see I have problems before they even care that much about me

Bread Boy

Those are just jerks

I don’t mind

5:38 AM

I don’t care if I’m ugly to everyone else I’ll be perfect

5:38 AM

I’m perfect to everyone else but no one can see how fat I am

teabee

Because taht might be true but no one’s gonna date me if they already see I have problems before they even care that much about me

Or maybe they love you so much they will try to help you overcome it all

I don’t care about what other people think to an extent

Bread Boy

Or maybe they love you so much they will try to help you overcome it all

I hope

5:38 AM

I reallt wish :(

5:39 AM

I’m not skinny enough to look obviously sick I think

5:39 AM

I’m 5’7 so I’m already big

5:39 AM

Even if I was skinny I’d still be physically large

5:39 AM

So I can hide my bones with clothing

5:39 AM

I just can’t hug people

5:39 AM

Or stuff like that

5:40 AM

People will pay my back and I’ll get scared they felt my spine or shoulder blade and will say something

5:40 AM

Once my dad rubbed my back when I was 10 lbs heavier and said I can feel your ribs you need to eat more

5:40 AM

Idek anymore

5:40 AM

I don’t have enough energy to try and recover anymore

5:41 AM

Even if I die when im@liek 20 at least I died living in a perfect body for a whole

5:41 AM

While

5:41 AM

But at the same time I don’t want that and I wanna be normal

5:41 AM

More hypocrisy

5:41 AM

I believe both

That's not hypocrisy

5:41 AM

Those are conflicting thoughts and wants

I guess

5:42 AM

I dunno I just call it that cause I know it’s stupid

5:42 AM

And I’m reallt stupid so I’m not gonna sugarcoat anything

5:42 AM

Ugh this clapping is too loud I hate to

5:42 AM

It

Hey its not stupid, its a genuine concern that deserve to be treated as such

but I know it

5:43 AM

It’s not like I’m discovering anything

5:43 AM

And btw you don’t have to talk to me

5:43 AM

I don’t wanna drag more people into me being dumb

5:44 AM

I wish I could just shut up I don’t even realize but I’ll say stuff like oh I haven’t had x unhealthy food in sooooo long I loved that and every mention of weight loss I’ll like brag or smth or get super interested and talk about it

It wont help much, but I once was in a place similar to yours, not in regards to my looks but the same feeling, after some years I learned to deal with things

teabee

I wish I could just shut up I don’t even realize but I’ll say stuff like oh I haven’t had x unhealthy food in sooooo long I loved that and every mention of weight loss I’ll like brag or smth or get super interested and talk about it

Me sayign I haven’t eaten this or that made one of my friends think I prided myself on that

Maybe with time you'll learn to manage and get control of things

Like excuse me you don’t know anything about me

Bread Boy

Maybe with time you'll learn to manage and get control of things

It’s gotten worse with time

Bread Boy

It wont help much, but I once was in a place similar to yours, not in regards to my looks but the same feeling, after some years I learned to deal with things

Yeah I get that a lot

5:45 AM

I could stop other stuff

5:46 AM

My anxiety got better and I started going to school again and I stopped sh after I almost@died

and other stuff but

5:46 AM

It’s ingrained in me

5:46 AM

I miss how much I weighed when I was 10

5:46 AM

I don’t know

Excuse me but I'm caught in a lot of abstraction, you have anorexia and you dont look forward to gain some weight, even if its not just fat, you know, muscle and such

5:47 AM

Did I get that right?

huh

I might be able to at least give a few tips

I mean I know I could gain weight in muscle but

5:47 AM

Its not even about my body anymore like it is but it isn’t

5:48 AM

I just need to be lighter

5:48 AM

Like I know if I didn’t eat for a day a lot of the weight would be water weight but I wouldn’t care

5:48 AM

There’s some anorexics who don’t drink water for days

5:48 AM

Because they wanna see a lower number

5:48 AM

It’s so complicated for no reason

5:49 AM

Like 20% or something of people with it die

I can sort of formulate a few ideas that might help but eating isn't up for debate

Not mentioning the ones who barely hang on like that’s not very good odds

Bread Boy

I can sort of formulate a few ideas that might help but eating isn't up for debate

ik tahts the problem

I know cardio will keep you lean and light, plus it will open your appetite, you could diet fiber and some protein, its barely and fat and will help you to get lean, but in a healthy kind of lean

you can look up anorexia but it’s probably the most@complicated mental illness

Bread Boy

I know cardio will keep you lean and light, plus it will open your appetite, you could diet fiber and some protein, its barely and fat and will help you to get lean, but in a healthy kind of lean

My heart is too weak for cardio

5:50 AM

At least for rn

teabee

you can look up anorexia but it’s probably the most@complicated mental illness

True, I like to study a bit of psychology

If I run a mile after I have so many heart palpitations and I fall down

5:51 AM

Not pass out but

5:51 AM

I dunno

If you could condition your heart enough, would you be willing to give it a shot at least?

Like I think it’s so complicated cause anorexia is ALL THE TIME

5:51 AM

It’s not liek sh where it’s in the moment and I then some extra maybe if you feel pain later

5:52 AM

And it’s not like depression where it’s all the time but you want to get better

5:52 AM

It’s all the time and the one thing to fix you is the one thing you don’t wanna do

Its all the time, 100% of the pain eh? (edited)

Yeah

5:52 AM

It’s in everything

5:52 AM

Like even if I got rid of so much stuff

5:52 AM

I’m still so tired all the time

5:53 AM

I don’t have energy for anything

I can relate to ya

With what

This constant struggle of the one thing that could fix you is also the thing you are unwilling to do

Yeah

5:54 AM

people are like you need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable !!

5:54 AM

Liek this isn’t my only problem if I get too uncomfortable I’ll just@kms or want to shut up

5:55 AM

And I’m not gonna go to a ward and miss school and mess up my grades

5:55 AM

The 2 numbers I base my worth upon tbh

5:55 AM

My weight and my grades

I base my worth on like, my looks and how human I can present myself lol

5:56 AM

Shit thing is that it's too abstract

human?

I'm like super deadpan

oh

5:57 AM

You don’t seem deadpan

My face is neutral 90% of the time

Just when you were like I don’t know how to revive emotions

I don't know how to convey, perceive or understand emotions

Oh I thought of another dumb thing

Well I can but it's real hard to pick on

I’ll care so much about how I look and weigh but then I don’t give a shit about fat people and when my friends are insecure@like the ones 20 lbs heavier than me and already skinny I’m like shut up

Bread Boy

Well I can but it's real hard to pick on

I dunno sounds like some mental condition

5:58 AM

My brain is flashing autism but I’m probably wrong you may just be liek that

Lol true

From how you were raised or just how you were born

Yeah I've always been more off on the emotional side

it’s all I have tbh

5:59 AM

I hate physical touch of any kind

5:59 AM

From my parents and everyone

And whenever a little bit of emotional shines through its diled up 500 notches

5:59 AM

I'm a sucker for physical touch

I’d only be comfortable if I was dating someone

5:59 AM

FR

6:00 AM

I love it sm

If I cant speak my love I'll feel my love

But it’s so uncomfortable from other people

Bread Boy

If I cant speak my love I'll feel my love

LMAO FR

6:00 AM

I’ll just sleep on you all day

6:00 AM

And get my hair per

6:00 AM

Let

6:00 AM

Omg

6:00 AM

Pet

My sublet way of screaming "please love me" is leaning on someone sholder

LMAO I WOULD TOTALLT DO THAT

Or just leaning my head on them in general

I’ve never done that with anyone

6:01 AM

I wish I could have someone to do that with

Did that with a boy once

jealous

But I mostly did it with a female friend of mine

6:02 AM

I liked her once but whenever I started doing that I didnt anymore

oop

She is real sweet, she let me nap sometime on her sholder

Bread Boy

She is real sweet, she let me nap sometime on her sholder

Awwwww

6:02 AM

I’d wanna do that so bad on a guy

6:02 AM

I just want someone

Fr one time she let me nap ontop of her arm while she sang a bit for me

WHAT

6:03 AM

TAHTS SO SWEET

It's one of those rare times where after constant pain and misery you can just take a little break of it all

I’m so tired but im@omw home

Bread Boy

It's one of those rare times where after constant pain and misery you can just take a little break of it all

It sounds like it

6:03 AM

I could feel how great it was through the screen

6:04 AM

I haven’t had something like that in so long

6:04 AM

One time my friend drew on my hand and I got all tingly and happy

6:04 AM

Like from the touch and how she was careful with it

Yeah also a real scum of the earth let me nap on her arm too

oh

So I guess not everyone who lends in a gentle act is your friend

Oh there was this time where my dad was checking me in at a doctors appointment for an EKG at the hospital

6:05 AM

And she kept saying she on accident

6:06 AM

I was barely within earshot but kinda heard

6:06 AM

And she was apologizing and everything

6:06 AM

Then this other worker came up to me and got down on one knee to talk to me

6:06 AM

And he said im@really sorry about that

6:06 AM

And I went it’s ok I don’t mind

6:06 AM

And he said well you should

6:06 AM

Because no one deserves to be treated like that even if it’s an accident t

6:07 AM

You shouldnt be ok with it

Bet you were like "no please, for the love of christ keep saying that"

Then said something like you’re amazing

6:07 AM

I woudk have but the way he said it it was so genuine

6:07 AM

I almost cried

Oh wait

That was the first time in so long I felt cared for

6:07 AM

By some random stranger

6:07 AM

Because

6:07 AM

I don’t care about stuff I’m such a push over

6:08 AM

Because what’s the point in fighting anymore people don’t change

6:08 AM

I forgot that i should care about it

6:08 AM

And then he said all that stuff and I went to the bathroom and was fanning my eyes

6:09 AM

I want someone to care about me like that

6:09 AM

Who aren’t my parents

6:09 AM

But someone I can actually relate to and be honest with

6:09 AM

Where im not hiding stuff

6:09 AM

I’ll just block everything out until then

6:10 AM

And dm random boys online getting into 2 week not relationships so I have something

teabee

I’ll just block everything out until then

Fr that's how I'm rocking recently

Bread Boy

Fr that's how I'm rocking recently

Yeah

I'm disassociating so hard I might forget how to breath lol

people are like process stuff or itll all hit you at once

6:11 AM

I don’t care if it does I’ll sob my eyes out for an evening and live in blissful ignorance the rest of the time

Bread Boy

I'm disassociating so hard I might forget how to breath lol

Oh no

I'm kinda funny in a way that, I will actively seek out misery and stuff

6:12 AM

So like, I'm better at dealing with it

reallt?

I put myself through so much shit I can just take it head on

Liek wdym seek it out

Idk kinda hard to put in words, also it's been a while

Oh

6:13 AM

Well don’t do that

6:13 AM

honestly

Just like, constantly remind myself of every minute flaw and stuff

Ohhh

It's been a while I dont do that anymore

I do that too

6:13 AM

I still so

6:13 AM

Do

6:13 AM

So I can have something to work on

Idk it's a wacky concept

It is

6:14 AM

It’s counterproductive

6:14 AM

Also

Take it too DMs or another channel bros.

You probably just don’t really receive emotions cause your boundaries are too high or something

DËFCØN

Take it too DMs or another channel bros.

This is the vent vaunted

6:14 AM

Channel

6:14 AM

Omg

6:14 AM

Isn’t this like…the channel it would be in..?

Its not for conversation

Is that a rule

Better not to push it

is it?

If you want we can keep talking elsewhere

No like genuinely

6:15 AM

cause sorry

6:15 AM

DËFCØN

Its not for conversation

Respectfully, you ain't a mod and they aren't clearly violating any rules so

Oh they’re not ?

6:16 AM

They have a fancy pink name

Well you have a point

teabee

They have a fancy pink name

That's server booster I think not mod

Damn I thought you were a mod and it was like

6:16 AM

A rule

6:17 AM

Why do you want us to go to dms then

6:17 AM

Did you wanna vent and not have it get buried

teabee

Is that a rule

No its just courteous. Some people may feel as if they are "intruding" or feel as if they cant use the channel because its being flooded with a conversational dialogue.

Or something?

DËFCØN

No its just courteous. Some people may feel as if they are "intruding" or feel as if they cant use the channel because its being flooded with a conversational dialogue.

does anyone feel like that

6:17 AM

anyoneeeeeee

6:17 AM

??????

6:17 AM

Hmm

DËFCØN

No its just courteous. Some people may feel as if they are "intruding" or feel as if they cant use the channel because its being flooded with a conversational dialogue.

If a mod tells 'em to stop they'll stop and it doesn't seem like it's actively upsetting anyone so

EXACTLT

6:18 AM

Omg autocorrect

6:18 AM

Mb

Any way I'm gonna go cause I ain't a mod either

*exactly

6:18 AM

It’s kinda rude to just butt in liek that

Well I wouldn't want my confession to be buried, might just be a politeness thing

It is but why would he say it so blunt… I dunno

teabee

does anyone feel like that

Why do you need someones feelings validated and proven in order to be kind?

It was just really rude

But again, its not like a cue to vent

6:19 AM

So, idk

DËFCØN

Why do you need someones feelings validated and proven in order to be kind?

Uh

6:19 AM

If no one feels that way

6:19 AM

Then it’s not a problem ..?

Bread Boy

But again, its not like a cue to vent

People normally just ask

6:19 AM

They’re like hey can I vent here

6:19 AM

And then the other two discussing respect that and take it to dms

Also it's like 2 am and I'm getting a bit tired

Ugh

6:20 AM

I mean me too but

6:20 AM

What a bad way to end

True

6:20 AM

We can keep talking tomorow if you want

6:21 AM

It doesn't have to end, just a small break

I dunno I’ll probably be like out of this phase or whatever by then

Same

I’ll just get depressed be like I wanna recover I hate this rah ! Then the next day act like nothing happened and forget about to

6:21 AM

*it

6:21 AM

Well I just block it out

6:21 AM

but

6:21 AM

I dunno

6:22 AM

I don’t think there’s really any conclusion that can be given

"I dont remember being sad, so I must not be" lol

AHAHA FR

6:22 AM

No way I’m level 5

6:22 AM

It’s been 2 days

6:22 AM

I needa calm down

Yeah I think I'm good for today, I'm gonna cuddle some pillows and sleep (edited)

distraction and avoidance 101

6:23 AM

I guess let’s just uhm

6:23 AM

Try our best

Cant wait to wake up in like, 4 hours lol

Because even if life sucks there’s still some good parts

6:23 AM

teabee

Because even if life sucks there’s still some good parts

LIKE MY CAT

I reject the idea of forfeiting by principal

MWAH

So I guess I'm clear

6:24 AM

KITTY

Ya

6:24 AM

Our lives may suck but…WE HAVE CATSSSS

Also adopting dark souls philosophy is kicking me up everyday

what’s that

Watering it all down a metric ton "Yeah, you fucked up, do it again until its done"

6:25 AM

The concept of being unable to give up

Bread Boy

Watering it all down a metric ton "Yeah, you fucked up, do it again until its done"

Love that

6:25 AM

ugh I’m so cold

6:25 AM

But at least I’ll be skinnier@tomorrow

6:26 AM

ok but fr

6:26 AM

Gn

6:26 AM

You should definitely sleep and I’m tieed

Good night and stay safe

Tired

6:26 AM

I will

6:26 AM

Oh yeah don’t worry

6:26 AM

I can’t really get that bad since my dad is a child psychologist and already a suspects stuff

6:26 AM

So if it gets reallyyyy bad I have a safety net even if I hate it it’ll save my life

6:26 AM

So I’ll be ok

6:26 AM

Good night

Sleep well

You too

6:27 AM

Enjoy your pillow bf

6:27 AM

I’ll be cuddling with mine too

why do i always have to take shit seriously

6:48 AM

grgrrgrgrrrr this is so annoying

6:48 AM

momma called me a whore around 3 times today and she was just playing

6:49 AM

but idk

6:49 AM

ig it just kinda gets to me, even when it's not supposed to

6:50 AM

and then she hurt my knee today and blamed it on me johnnycat

6:50 AM

LIKE BRO HOW IS THAT MY FAULT boycrying

autumn <33.

momma called me a whore around 3 times today and she was just playing

Dude thats not ok...

IT'S OKAYY SHE WAS JUST PLAYING idk i just don't like being called names like that :3

No parent should do that.

oh

6:53 AM

they're not?

6:53 AM

i thought it was normal for moms to do that

No thats just straight up verbal abuse

autumn <33.

i thought it was normal for moms to do that

NO???

oh

3:07 PM

oopsies

3:07 PM

:3

3:07 PM

Tell her to stop if she was joking or wtv

autumn <33.

i thought it was normal for moms to do that

No it's fucking not, that's verbal abuse

oh i srsly thought it was normal cause she's done stuff like that since i was 13 boycrying

No don’t listen to her omg

10:29 PM

If she thinks it’s a joke tell her to stop

oh

10:48 PM

okay i'll try :3

One of my online friends I’ve known for months is really bulimic and she says her teeth hurt a lot and she said she went to the dentist today and they told her a tooth is in the early signs of decay I wanna help her but I know I can’t and I don’t wanna see her so sad :(

bro that's horrible i'm so sorry. :(( i think drinking water, flossing, and using fluoride can help to make it slow down slightly

10:50 PM

if she hasn't already tried that

10:50 PM

and i hope she feels better soon :((

10:51 PM

if there's nothing you can do about it though, then all you can try to do is be there for her and such

10:51 PM

i'll keep her in my prayers <33

Tysm

11:29 PM

And I am

11:29 PM

She’s a healthy weight but we’re about the same height and I’m 20 lbs less than her so whenever I say you’re already skinny it doesn’t mean as much because I’m thinner

11:29 PM

But she is

11:29 PM

She really is :(

11:30 PM

I hope it’s enough

11:33 PM

She used to try and not purge but a month ago she said she gave up and is just gonna give into it and I don’t know how to help anymore because she doesn’t have any motivation left

11:35 PM

aaaaa

11:36 PM

I’m talking to her rn she was going to therapy but her parents stopped it cause she wasn’t “trying” and I’m trying to talk her back into it and saying just go there to not purge you can still restrict and everything your therapist wants you to get better too and if you’re not ready to be put on a meal plan and everything and you said you’d just purge everything since they wouldn’t do that and stuff

11:37 PM

she asked me if going to therapy would be weak kwhdjelxjene I just wanna give her a hug

She said no she doesn’t wanna go and she’ll just die I can’t

1

so this silly human the other day was talking to me about some "you're ugly" like okay? i could run a train through your teeth mf had gap teeth wider than the grand canyon, wanna talk shit on me BUT GOTTA LISP LMAOOOOOO and this hoe looked more raggedy than an abandoned building but RIGHTTTTT im the ugly one

2

2:24 AM

okay pookie

"stop acting all shy. it's not cute or funny" okay but it's cute and funny when the other girls in my school do it, right? it's funny then how come every time i try to express the fact that i'm uncomfortable in public, people only make jokes about it? i enjoy tight spaces (idk why. they make me feel more secure and safe) and i felt claustrophobic at a Christmas performance one time. i wasn't even crowded either. just knowing i'm in a building with so many people at once who could all be judging me is enough to make me beg my dad to go outside with me for a few minutes literally in 7th grade i had a fucking come-apart because someone yelled at me in gym class in front of everyone and everyone looked at me, but this other girl said that she had social anxiety too because she doesn't like people looking at her even though she does and says controversial and unnecessary things for attention on purpose social anxiety isn't fucking fun and people act like it's a quirky personality trait like yeah haha sososooo funny that i cried having to present in front of 12 people and literally almost passed out because i was so terrified of them looking at me and judging me "oh i have social anxiety too because i get nervous when my crush looks at me!!!" please stfu this is so draining

3:00 AM

the fact that people constantly say that they have it and then call me weird for expressing obvious signs of it makes me so angry sometimes

3:01 AM

like no it's not fun to have. it ruins my life and restricts me from doing anything fun. i can't even socialize properly and i hate it. i can get along with people just fine, but i can never properly speak with them and form casual small talk with anybody

3:03 AM

i'm sorry i've been venting so much lately but idk there's just a lot going on right now and this is the only healthy way (i guess??) of getting it out

teabee

She said no she doesn’t wanna go and she’ll just die I can’t

dude i'm literally so sorry about that. just know it's not your fault, and she's making this decision by herself. hopefully she'll change her mind and come to notice how special life truly is

♡ [RES] Alphaxx ♡

so this silly human the other day was talking to me about some "you're ugly" like okay? i could run a train through your teeth mf had gap teeth wider than the grand canyon, wanna talk shit on me BUT GOTTA LISP LMAOOOOOO and this hoe looked more raggedy than an abandoned building but RIGHTTTTT im the ugly one

people are gonna judge for no reason at all. ur pretty no matter what people say :3

TW/ Heavy talk of self harm and depression. Misery. To wish for things that are not. To dream of things that will not be. This is my Misery. To fight battles long over. To trust in looming shadows. Existing despite my dissatisfaction. This is my Misery. Regret owns my day to day. Impulsively ruin my chances. Crumble, Crack and Disregard Misery, she dances They all neglect to see. My deepest lacerations My cuts spill everywhere. For the sting cures the burn. My sick and twisted fantasy. My vision of life ahead. Its all wrong, All of it. This life I cannot achieve. This, Is my Misery.

i feel horrible knowing i can't do anything to help you :(( but you're an incredibly strong person for still being here and we all care about and love you <33

autumn <33.

i'm sorry i've been venting so much lately but idk there's just a lot going on right now and this is the only healthy way (i guess??) of getting it out

Don't apologize for venting and this really shouldn't be the only healthy way you can get it out, try therapy and stuff cause that can help so fricking much

1

autumn <33.

"stop acting all shy. it's not cute or funny" okay but it's cute and funny when the other girls in my school do it, right? it's funny then how come every time i try to express the fact that i'm uncomfortable in public, people only make jokes about it? i enjoy tight spaces (idk why. they make me feel more secure and safe) and i felt claustrophobic at a Christmas performance one time. i wasn't even crowded either. just knowing i'm in a building with so many people at once who could all be judging me is enough to make me beg my dad to go outside with me for a few minutes literally in 7th grade i had a fucking come-apart because someone yelled at me in gym class in front of everyone and everyone looked at me, but this other girl said that she had social anxiety too because she doesn't like people looking at her even though she does and says controversial and unnecessary things for attention on purpose social anxiety isn't fucking fun and people act like it's a quirky personality trait like yeah haha sososooo funny that i cried having to present in front of 12 people and literally almost passed out because i was so terrified of them looking at me and judging me "oh i have social anxiety too because i get nervous when my crush looks at me!!!" please stfu this is so draining

Yeah actually having something and then people pretending to have it sucks fucking ass, all I can say is like try to get diagnosed, cause from there you can more easily get stuff to help you like therapy and people at least trying to treat you respectfully, like my older brother has autism and before he got diagnosed people acted like bitches to him and said he was "just difficult" and shit, not saying it's easy now but that can still really help you get help and respect

1

thank you so much. i really appreciate it. <33

Ofc :3

A friend of mine died yesterday

7:31 PM

Shot by his own mother

7:31 PM

It’s fucked

4

holy shit

7:31 PM

Im sorry

oh my gosh that's awful. :((

12:00 AM

i'm so sorry about that wtf

This guy I was talking to said I was cute once, but today revealed that he lied; and now I’m fucking mad

12:10 AM

Like I was really nice to him too and shit. What a fucking asshole

12:11 AM

I hate when people lie to me like that:(

12:12 AM

Like at least say what you actually think from the start, so I don’t have to feel as terrible about myself after

dude that's literally so rude of him. people are so fake nowadays for literally nothing. you didn't deserve that bb :((

. you're amazing no matter what anyone says because everyone has different opinions on you, including negative ones. it's just how people are, even if you've done nothing to them. liars are definitely one of the most annoying groups of people to deal with, and i'm sorry you had to deal with such a shitty one. just know that peoples' opinions don't matter as long as you love yourself, okay? karma may come back and bite him in the ass since he took advantage of your kindness. just know you're handsome/pretty no matter what anyone says. we're all unique in our own way, and that makes every one of us beautiful

. i really hope you get someone who deserves you and i'm so sorry you had to deal with that darlin :(( i really hope you feel better soon. <33 (edited)

2

autumn <33.

dude that's literally so rude of him. people are so fake nowadays for literally nothing. you didn't deserve that bb :((

. you're amazing no matter what anyone says because everyone has different opinions on you, including negative ones. it's just how people are, even if you've done nothing to them. liars are definitely one of the most annoying groups of people to deal with, and i'm sorry you had to deal with such a shitty one. just know that peoples' opinions don't matter as long as you love yourself, okay? karma may come back and bite him in the ass since he took advantage of your kindness. just know you're handsome/pretty no matter what anyone says. we're all unique in our own way, and that makes every one of us beautiful

. i really hope you get someone who deserves you and i'm so sorry you had to deal with that darlin :(( i really hope you feel better soon. <33 (edited)

Thank you. That already makes me feel a lot better already

3

1

i'm glad!! <33

Ngl he kinda had a fake vibe to him from the start; but I thought that it was due to insecurities and not because something like that :( (edited)

12:43 AM

Next time anyone gives me that vibe, I’m confronting them directly abt it

autumn <33.

dude that's literally so rude of him. people are so fake nowadays for literally nothing. you didn't deserve that bb :((

. you're amazing no matter what anyone says because everyone has different opinions on you, including negative ones. it's just how people are, even if you've done nothing to them. liars are definitely one of the most annoying groups of people to deal with, and i'm sorry you had to deal with such a shitty one. just know that peoples' opinions don't matter as long as you love yourself, okay? karma may come back and bite him in the ass since he took advantage of your kindness. just know you're handsome/pretty no matter what anyone says. we're all unique in our own way, and that makes every one of us beautiful

. i really hope you get someone who deserves you and i'm so sorry you had to deal with that darlin :(( i really hope you feel better soon. <33 (edited)

All I've gotten for my birthday is a chocolate bar. That I didn't ask for and I've already been given before by the exact same people that gave it to me this time. Literally all I asked for was to go to a diner and get like a cheap laptop, and nobody made enough time for a diner and my mom's telling me to just use this other laptop that she doesn't really use even though the whole point of me getting my own laptop is that it would be mine, and I could bring it places and use it whenever I want, but instead I'm going to get bugged by my brother's and other people are gonna use it, and it's just general not going to be as good. Also yes I know I sound spoiled but we're upper middle class, we can afford it, and I'm not asking for a party or anything, just a laptop and brunch. Instead I got a chocolate bar and the vague promise of getting food tomorrow that probably won't happen unless I constantly remind my parents that they promised me I could go to a diner today. So while I was writing this I got some more stuff, NONE OF WHICH I ASKED FOR OR IMPLIED I WANTED. Three snacks and a hair brush. What. The. Fuck.

On the birthday of my love as soon as he entered the class I rushed and huged him, he said I was the first person to hug him that day, his family didnt even hug him

10:29 PM

Made me feel kinda special, now looking back I should have huged for a bit longer

10:29 PM

I'd kill her to hug him one last time

Soaring :3

All I've gotten for my birthday is a chocolate bar. That I didn't ask for and I've already been given before by the exact same people that gave it to me this time. Literally all I asked for was to go to a diner and get like a cheap laptop, and nobody made enough time for a diner and my mom's telling me to just use this other laptop that she doesn't really use even though the whole point of me getting my own laptop is that it would be mine, and I could bring it places and use it whenever I want, but instead I'm going to get bugged by my brother's and other people are gonna use it, and it's just general not going to be as good. Also yes I know I sound spoiled but we're upper middle class, we can afford it, and I'm not asking for a party or anything, just a laptop and brunch. Instead I got a chocolate bar and the vague promise of getting food tomorrow that probably won't happen unless I constantly remind my parents that they promised me I could go to a diner today. So while I was writing this I got some more stuff, NONE OF WHICH I ASKED FOR OR IMPLIED I WANTED. Three snacks and a hair brush. What. The. Fuck.

dude that's actually so disappointing wtf... :(( i'm so sorry that happened to you darlin :c. your birthday should be about celebrating and people remembering how important you are to them. you got such unfair treatment i'm literally so sorry :(( if i lived near you i would spend my 17 dollars to get you brunch and let you know that it's YOUR special day. also, expecting to be spoiled on your birthday is pretty common, so dw! your special day is when you're supposed to be recognized and appreciated, which is often followed by gifts and stuff like that. you didn't ask for like anything dude. they're just trying to brush it off because they know they were irresponsible and forgetful whenever they shouldn't have been. happy birthday love. you're so important and loved and cared for by all of us. i hope it gets better and you get better treatment soon. :((

take care. <33

me after having such a good day and then my mom decides to slut shame me again for wearing a tank top in public :3 i'm srsly so disgusted with my body right now lol

4:00 AM

i love her though so it's okay :3 maybe she'll stop one dayyyy

Sorry to hear autumn

IT'S OKAYYY! :3

Its not

NONO IT IS IT'S FINEEEE :3

4:04 AM

maybe she'll stop soonnnnnnnnnn >w<

autumn <33.

NONO IT IS IT'S FINEEEE :3

but its not, if you already havent tell her it hurts you

4:05 AM

otherwise ignore her

4:05 AM

a tank top is not "slutty"

she just doesn't like to listen BUT IT'S OKAYY I FORGIVE HER EVERY TIME

snifferoftheglue

a tank top is not "slutty"

SEE THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING TOOOOO

Hey boykissers been a while but I need someone to talk to. Very long Extreme trigger warning list BTW so if you're sensitive please don't reach out I don't want to place my hardship on anyone who is suffering enough already

keeder(=>ᆺ<=)

Hey boykissers been a while but I need someone to talk to. Very long Extreme trigger warning list BTW so if you're sensitive please don't reach out I don't want to place my hardship on anyone who is suffering enough already

Hit me up.

i like a guy but what the fuck do i do. hes way out of my league and i dont think he would like me back. ive focused sm on him and im ab to cry bc im so confused on everything. half of me wants to just tell him but what if he doesnt like me back? what if we last a week like the others? im so fucking scared and confused.

nolan

i like a guy but what the fuck do i do. hes way out of my league and i dont think he would like me back. ive focused sm on him and im ab to cry bc im so confused on everything. half of me wants to just tell him but what if he doesnt like me back? what if we last a week like the others? im so fucking scared and confused.

Dude, that "out of your league" shit is fucking garbage. Ask him when you're ready and if he stops being friends with you because you asked him he's an asshole

Update: I asked him last night. It was sadly a no but he told me how much he cares about me and that the only reason is because he’s not ready because he’s dealing with some stuff and isn’t quite ready. I fully understand and I’m glad he wants to remain friends bc he’s honestly amazing.

Glad you're still friends

Tw ed ig This one kid who I’m friends with called me fat yesterday as a joke. I tripped over his and our backpacks cause the classroom is really small and he went woah sarcastically and I said the classroom is too small and he said maybe you’re just too big and once I sat down he mouthed fat and I wanted to cry I know it was a joke but he wouldn’t even say that if I was actually skinny. He’s definitely 30-40 pounds heavier than me too so it was obviously a joke but I don’t know why I have to make such a big deal out of it and I don’t know why everyone close to me is lying saying I’m too skinny like shut up I just lost weight?!? Even my doctors are saying I’m underweight for my body and they think I’m 10 pounds heavier than I am wtf does that mean anyways I’m not underweight so I’m not underweight period!? Everyone is lying to me and I’m so sick of my parents trying to get me to eat more and having to throw away food because IM NOT UNDERWEIGHT CALM DOWN. My bones aren’t even showing enough I can only see like half of my spine and my chestbones are really faint and my shoulder blades aren’t sticking out sm they’re pokey and in general I just have a big ribcage and hips so those don’t count and I know for a fact my classmates are my size and much thinner and no ones throwing a tantrum about them?? I’m so sick of everyone lying to me and I’m so sick about caring whether I’m fat or not UGH the only reason I say I have an ed is cause I’ll purge and eat little enough I get dizzy and cold and tired NOT because I’m skinny I’m so tired of it

4:30 PM

Essay

4:30 PM

teabee

Tw ed ig This one kid who I’m friends with called me fat yesterday as a joke. I tripped over his and our backpacks cause the classroom is really small and he went woah sarcastically and I said the classroom is too small and he said maybe you’re just too big and once I sat down he mouthed fat and I wanted to cry I know it was a joke but he wouldn’t even say that if I was actually skinny. He’s definitely 30-40 pounds heavier than me too so it was obviously a joke but I don’t know why I have to make such a big deal out of it and I don’t know why everyone close to me is lying saying I’m too skinny like shut up I just lost weight?!? Even my doctors are saying I’m underweight for my body and they think I’m 10 pounds heavier than I am wtf does that mean anyways I’m not underweight so I’m not underweight period!? Everyone is lying to me and I’m so sick of my parents trying to get me to eat more and having to throw away food because IM NOT UNDERWEIGHT CALM DOWN. My bones aren’t even showing enough I can only see like half of my spine and my chestbones are really faint and my shoulder blades aren’t sticking out sm they’re pokey and in general I just have a big ribcage and hips so those don’t count and I know for a fact my classmates are my size and much thinner and no ones throwing a tantrum about them?? I’m so sick of everyone lying to me and I’m so sick about caring whether I’m fat or not UGH the only reason I say I have an ed is cause I’ll purge and eat little enough I get dizzy and cold and tired NOT because I’m skinny I’m so tired of it

If everyone says you're underweight, maybe you're underweight?? Like what's the theoretical motivation for all these people to lie to you? That guy is an asshole btw, and I'm not trying to add to the problem but eat more please I beg of you it's the people who say they aren't underweight that are underweight

The main thing is ribs imo as someone kinda underweight

Soaring :3

If everyone says you're underweight, maybe you're underweight?? Like what's the theoretical motivation for all these people to lie to you? That guy is an asshole btw, and I'm not trying to add to the problem but eat more please I beg of you it's the people who say they aren't underweight that are underweight

I dunno my parents are obese maybe they want me to be fat too

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

The main thing is ribs imo as someone kinda underweight

?

5:33 PM

I don’t think ribs determine whether you’re underweight or not like my ribs show on my back but my thighs are still 19 inches

5:35 PM

#stubbylegs

teabee

I dunno my parents are obese maybe they want me to be fat too

What?

5:37 PM

no I really doubt that

What if they do

5:38 PM

To make themselves feel better

5:38 PM

And my dads Mexican and they use food as showing love

5:38 PM

It’s a slippery slope

I'm gonna be honest you sound delusional right now

5:38 PM

thats not it

shut up

ok

Ik I am but I’m not and both are true

5:39 PM

Ed logic

5:39 PM

Ik I have body dysmorphia n stuff and view my body wrong but I don’t and I’m actually obese

5:39 PM

And they’re both true at the same time

5:40 PM

100% for both

teabee

Ik I have body dysmorphia n stuff and view my body wrong but I don’t and I’m actually obese

no

5:40 PM

you are far from obese

5:40 PM

how tall are you and how much do you weigh?

Yes

5:41 PM

Okok I’ve built some muscle and and people say I look thinner than my bmi so I’m not that fat but I’m like 5’7 and 118

5:42 PM

I was 115 but I gained

5:42 PM

Im not underweight til like 104 or smth

5:42 PM

Like that’s a a lot

teabee

Okok I’ve built some muscle and and people say I look thinner than my bmi so I’m not that fat but I’m like 5’7 and 118

thats on the small size

not for me tho

but not dangerous

No one’s fat and even if they are it doesn’t count bc they’re nice

just dont lose more

Only I am

snifferoftheglue

just dont lose more

5:45 PM

I wanna be 107 n then reverse diet and build muscle maintaining the same weight so I look skinnier cause any lower than that I’d be admitted to a hospital and would have food shoved down my throat

5:45 PM

but exactly

5:45 PM

Im not underweight im fine

5:46 PM

!!

teabee

I wanna be 107 n then reverse diet and build muscle maintaining the same weight so I look skinnier cause any lower than that I’d be admitted to a hospital and would have food shoved down my throat

if dropping 10lbs is enough to put you into a hospital you should probably not do that

5:46 PM

you can build muscle without losing weight

5:46 PM

or a lot anyway

snifferoftheglue

if dropping 10lbs is enough to put you into a hospital you should probably not do that

well I would just because I’d have lost weight and my parents would be worried about me having an ed

5:47 PM

I wouldn’t actually have to be hospitalized

5:47 PM

Im prettt sure

teabee

well I would just because I’d have lost weight and my parents would be worried about me having an ed

the fact that you talk so much about how you're too heavy and how you need to lose weight doesn't really point away from an ed

5:48 PM

just be careful with your weight

5:48 PM

you really cant lose much

snifferoftheglue

the fact that you talk so much about how you're too heavy and how you need to lose weight doesn't really point away from an ed

Ik I have one but I’m not sick enough I dunno

5:57 PM

I used to do cardio but my heart is too weak now and if I run for 8 minutes like run a mile once I stop I’ll start getting heart palpitations all in a row and my legs will give out and I’ll just be on the ground like a gross twitching bug

5:57 PM

Never passed out tho so

teabee

I used to do cardio but my heart is too weak now and if I run for 8 minutes like run a mile once I stop I’ll start getting heart palpitations all in a row and my legs will give out and I’ll just be on the ground like a gross twitching bug

thats not good and you really should get help with that

5:58 PM

that is 'sick enough'

I’ve gotten ekgs and stuff

6:01 PM

And my heart is fine so

‍♂️

teabee

And my heart is fine so

‍♂️

no, it obviously isnt

It’s just being a little frantic

6:04 PM

*dramatic

6:05 PM

The only actually bad thing that happened was when I purged a bunch for 3 days in a row and felt really really sick from it and then I fasted for a day and walked 30k steps and woke up at 12 am and my heart was double my resting heart rate and I couldn’t stand up without passing out so I was just on the floor thinking my heart was suddenly gonna stop and I would die I was telling my dad to call 911 but he said it was ok then I ate probably 1k cals and an hour later I was fine but that hasn’t happened since cause (edited)

6:06 PM

I’ve never done anything that extreme bc that scared me sm but that’s what happens when you pass out from not eating

6:06 PM

It’ll happen to some of my online friends all the time and they said the first time it’s scary but after that it’s normal and not as big of a deal

6:10 PM

I eat way too much to actually be sick tho

6:13 PM

I just hate itttt

6:13 PM

I should probably spoil that

6:15 PM

I won’t be sick enough unless I’m passing out like everyday or under 100 lbs tbh

6:15 PM

I just hate everyone’s lying to me

6:15 PM

People wouldn’t call me fat as a joke if I wasn’t !!?

You sound so fucking in denial, reread what you said and then go eat cause you probably need to, also what's the healthy weight for your age/height and how far below that are you

Im not in not underweight I am in a healthy weight range

6:32 PM

I just have big bones idek

teabee

Im not in not underweight I am in a healthy weight range

barely

Like my doctors are like yeah you’re not clinically underweight but foR yOuR bOdy like I’m not underweight period

snifferoftheglue

barely

Im like 11 lbs away

6:33 PM

Or more that’s a lotttt

Bitch you're underweight get over yourself and accept it

teabee

Im like 11 lbs away

that is basically nothing

Go eat something

6:33 PM

Unless you already did

you are so far in denial

6:33 PM

its insane

Real

In a nicer way, they are right being in denial won’t help you. You’re doing worthless mental gymnastics to say that you aren’t. Please try and get some medical advice on how to handle this not people on discord. A dietitian would be great but I understand if that isn’t possible

no like Ik I have an Ed cause it literally controls my life and I do anything without thinking of it like my day’s structure is centered around the times I’ll eat and not eat and how to avoid eating and stuff but it’s not BAD

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

In a nicer way, they are right being in denial won’t help you. You’re doing worthless mental gymnastics to say that you aren’t. Please try and get some medical advice on how to handle this not people on discord. A dietitian would be great but I understand if that isn’t possible

Exactly

Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

In a nicer way, they are right being in denial won’t help you. You’re doing worthless mental gymnastics to say that you aren’t. Please try and get some medical advice on how to handle this not people on discord. A dietitian would be great but I understand if that isn’t possible

It is but that defeats the whole purpose I wanna lose weight and I wanna yk not care but that means I have to eat a lot and I’m not doing that ?!!?

Just go eat something and I'll stop bugging you

Soaring :3

Unless you already did

I already did I still eat like 1200 cals or like 800 a day but like yesterday I ate over 1200

Soaring :3

Just go eat something and I'll stop bugging you

Im in school

6:36 PM

It’s 2nd period rn

Grrrr

6:37 PM

Just eat when you can then

6:37 PM

And eat something substantial

teabee

It is but that defeats the whole purpose I wanna lose weight and I wanna yk not care but that means I have to eat a lot and I’m not doing that ?!!?

You have to care is all I’ll say, anyone’s body will go to shit if you don’t care. I wish you the best of luck whether you attempt change or not

teabee

I already did I still eat like 1200 cals or like 800 a day but like yesterday I ate over 1200

Also part of the reason I'm bugging you is because I've also lost weight recently and I constantly feel hungry but don't eat and I don't want you to feel bad about yourself (edited)

Sorry

I didn’t wanna make a big deal out of it I just wanted to complain rq

Yeah I know but like go eat something when you can

Soaring :3

Also part of the reason I'm bugging you is because I've also lost weight recently and I constantly feel hungry but don't eat and I don't want you to feel bad about yourself (edited)

I’ve been trying to lose weight since I was 8

Cause eating is good

BUT I GET THAT

teabee

I’ve been trying to lose weight since I was 8

YEAH THAT'S NOT GOOD

6:40 PM

You should definitely not be trying to lose weight

whenever any of my friends are like I wanna lose weight I’m like NO YOURE PERFECT YOURE NOT FAT WND EVEN IF YOU WERE IT DOWSNT MATHER YOURE PERFECT

6:41 PM

any they’re like 20 lbs heavier than me but still in a healthy weight range like don’t be me

Soaring :3

You should definitely not be trying to lose weight

Ik

Also try to not keep track of what you eat and eat when you feel hungry ya know (that's probably dumb advice but idk)

1

Like ik I shouldn’t cause clinically I’m probably underweight since I have like wide hips and a slightly higher than normal muscle ratio to fat so my bf% is probably kinda too low but at the same time I’m obese

6:42 PM

Soaring :3

Also try to not keep track of what you eat and eat when you feel hungry ya know (that's probably dumb advice but idk)

If I don’t keep track I go insane and I eat everything then purge or am too scared to eat at all

teabee

Like ik I shouldn’t cause clinically I’m probably underweight since I have like wide hips and a slightly higher than normal muscle ratio to fat so my bf% is probably kinda too low but at the same time I’m obese

But you're not obese

Ik but like I mean so fat I’m obese

But you're not

I don’t wanna make you guys feel bad because I probably won’t change but I have a fallback if I get too bad

I don't even have to know what you look like to know you ain't fat

My dads a child psychologist so he’s already really suspicious and would admit me to an ed clinic in 2 seconds

Soaring :3

I don't even have to know what you look like to know you ain't fat

6:44 PM

I’ve been told I’m so skinny it looks ugly like my torso or back

You're skinny as shit but don't realize it also anyone who says any part of you looks ugly is just being a bitch and whatever part they mentioned isn't actually ugly

6:46 PM

Just saying

I mean I’ll take compliments if I’m so skinny it looks ugly but I’m not

6:47 PM

I dunno thanks for caring but I’m m probably not gonna change

Doesn't hurt to try I guess

But I’m not gonna die or anything bc I’d be admitted to a hospital before I do

Soaring :3

Doesn't hurt to try I guess

Yes I does I lose my mind when I gain

teabee

But I’m not gonna die or anything bc I’d be admitted to a hospital before I do

Yeah but it'll affect your mental health and shit

But like dw I just wanted to vent

Which is almost as bad

It’s not a really big deal

teabee

But like dw I just wanted to vent

K k

Soaring :3

Yeah but it'll affect your mental health and shit

I’ve been through so much worse I’ll have my breakdowns every so often but this isn’t bad at all

6:48 PM

I still try to eat heldthy tho

6:48 PM

So I’m not nutrient deficient

Even if something isn't bad compared to something else doesn't mean it's not bad

And I have my little electrolyte drinks

Basically just be healthy and get help if you need it ok? :3

I will like

6:50 PM

Last time with other stuff I hid it until I was in a psych ward n stuff and then it got better

6:50 PM

Cause I wanna deal with it on my own unless I have to tell someone

Dealing with shit like that on your own isn't healthy either I swear

Bro this kid whose tiny and probably bmi like 14 walked by and I’m SO JEALOUS ISTG

DON'T BE

Soaring :3

Dealing with shit like that on your own isn't healthy either I swear

Ik I just don’t like telling my parents I don’t want them to feel bad

6:54 PM

I didn’t even let them be in the ambulance with me they had to follow in their car behind it

6:54 PM

And I didn’t want them in the hospital room either but they had to be but I hated itttt

6:54 PM

Omg it smells like sweet potato fries

6:54 PM

Anyways

6:56 PM

Promise I’m fine tho I’m not gonna die or anything

6:56 PM

And I still had rlly good grades like at 97%+

6:56 PM

With a 102% in Japanese and 101% in AP history

Bud who cares about grades

6:57 PM

Care about your health instead

With some other hard clssses only one I got a 90.7% was in math cause it’s CHS precalc one and two so it’s double the speed

Soaring :3

Care about your health instead

If you get too bad your grades slip up

6:57 PM

Thats one of the symptoms of an Ed

6:57 PM

Bad grades

6:57 PM

Or worsening grafes

6:57 PM

Basically I’m saying I’m eating enough so I have good grades

6:57 PM

so dw

6:59 PM

Im Alr it’s not bad

Ok get bad grades so you get help

6:59 PM

No

i lost my virginity at the age of 8

I just ate like a big filling meal and not 30 minutes later I feel like I didn't eat anything, what the fuck is happening

Can't tell if this is a valid reason to put it here but I'd need help with my spine or something, I have an unbearable pain under my right shoulder blade everytime I turn my head forward and down, and my parents just don't do anything after I tell them for 3 months about me having it over a year (edited)

8:10 PM

It literally freezes my movement

lazysock98_1.1

Can't tell if this is a valid reason to put it here but I'd need help with my spine or something, I have an unbearable pain under my right shoulder blade everytime I turn my head forward and down, and my parents just don't do anything after I tell them for 3 months about me having it over a year (edited)

Go to the ER?!

What's er?

The emergency room

Can't go without parents

8:22 PM

I'm underage therefore in my country can't legally go to a doctor

That sucks

and my parents don't care

Lame parents

Honestly, what do you expect from a childish father of 5 and a tired mother

8:24 PM

I've been on a quick walk to a supermarket with my father and he's childish like 13 years olds, but with the humor of his young years

13 year olds can be pretty mature, probably closer to ten

8:25 PM

But yeah that sucks

You should see my class then

8:27 PM

freaking monkeys

Burnt Cheese Cookie

i lost my virginity at the age of 8

:(((

Im sorry

My life feels like a literal Shakespearean tragedy

10:52 PM

I met this girl, and we fall In love quickly and incredibly hard. We visit eachother often, and things just get more and more intense to where we're basically obsessed with eachother. But then her parents forbid any contact between us and legally threaten me if I try. Now we have literally 0 ways of even talking to eachother, and my only option is to wait until she gets independent. Honestly if this story ends in both of young deaths I'm not gonna be surprised

he called me fat again

what if I just kms atp (I won’t)

ΣᄃᄂIPƧΣ

I met this girl, and we fall In love quickly and incredibly hard. We visit eachother often, and things just get more and more intense to where we're basically obsessed with eachother. But then her parents forbid any contact between us and legally threaten me if I try. Now we have literally 0 ways of even talking to eachother, and my only option is to wait until she gets independent. Honestly if this story ends in both of young deaths I'm not gonna be surprised

Uhm WHAT

11:04 PM

Can they even do that

11:04 PM

What would they even sue you for

She's 17, so yes they can

oh well that’s only a year then !

And they wouldn't sue me, they'd get a restraining order on their house and try to charge me with various crimes like stalking, harassment and lord knows what else

what basis would they have though

It likely wouldn't go through because she'd testify for me, but I'm too poor to afford a lawyer so it's better if I just wait the 9 months

yeah well

11:06 PM

Just hold on until then I guess

Oh trust me, I'm really trying hard

11:11 PM

But a year is a lot longer than it sounds when every waking and sleeping moment is agonized by how starved of intimacy you are

:(

Real

teabee

Real

Yeah

guys have you ever had balls?

I'm sorry for putting all of this on strangers who have their own problems but I have no where else to turn. Everything is too much to bear anymore. I'm on the track to not being able to graduate and I'm spiraling downward on a hill of drugs since the age of fucking 14. I've fucked my life up so much already I've been diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder to which I still continued to use psychedelics after my diagnoses and ended up in the hospital 3 times and gave myself a 4th diagnosis of HPPD upon the Schizoaffevtive disorder, psychotic depression, and GAD. I'm getting into fights with my parents everyday and the looming urge to harm myself has been around since my first hospital visit. This is the schizo part of me talking so I always sound insane but sometimes I wanna slit my own throat or just fucking throw myself off the overpass and let a semi truck turn me into a red mist. My life is pointless. I am a failure, a drug addict, psychotic, loser. I've sent myself miles down a dark path that I never wanted to see myself go down. And seeing the effects it has on my family and friends has crushed me. I used to be in a band but after I came out I lost all my friends and gained a little social Ness from discord. I have not hung out with a real person besides a family member in months. And it's destroying my relationship with my parents. The screaming fights and physical threats with my dad or going into such a schizophrenic rage that I scare my dogs so much they start howling and shaking. I can't do it anymore. And if I don't graduate high school I feel like I should just up and kill myself there because if I can't succeed now how can I succeed later in life

12:28 AM

the visions in my mind of just constantly mutilating myself is too much. i ended up taking 600 mg of quetiapine fumarate which did nothing so i sat on my bathroom floor vomiting for an hour. too writhed to talk to my parents about it because i cant go back to the hospital now im failing every class

12:30 AM

i just want to know peace again

2

Burnt Cheese Cookie

guys have you ever had balls?

No

keeder(=>ᆺ<=)

i just want to know peace again

am so sorry to hear that friend

so.. i try like ddlg & age play & like.. a lot of people think that it is pedophilla.. too the point where a child has not even fucking hit puberty or anything like that.. & i get totally gross out & shitt as a adult woman that is bisexual.. too know that there are gross people out there in the world that really thinks that & never know that it is a coping mechanism.. & i am just so tried of telling people that it is a coping mechanism.. like.. for the ppl out there that loves to bully, & judge others for having a coping mechanism is fucking bullshit❗️ let people do what make them happy, they are not hurting anyone.. or anyone else❗️ i myself struggles with trauma.. & other mental disorders.. & illnesses.. (which i do go too a professional for.. but.. since i hate to see littles get bullied & pick on for being so interested into this stuff.. there is nothing wrong with being a little or a loli.. all.. i am doing is what is making me happy that is all.. but all i can say is before you come at someone for having a coping mechanism make sure to do your own research.❗️ (sorry for typing so much and all but hopefully you all understand

(edited)

1

I’m having a bad day with my illness (idek) I feel so dead I genuinely sort of feel like I’m floating and I did stuff I didn’t wanna do that made it worse I feel like my lungs can’t expand as big as I need to breathe

bruh was trying to help out this person then they just blocked me for no reason, fun times

i feel like im extremely annoying to other people

same

4:18 AM

And they’re just being nice and not telling me

4:18 AM

But they actually hate me

yhats literally how i feeeellll

ITS SO BAD

4:19 AM

like

4:19 AM

I’ll apologize for being annoying and they’ll be liek what

4:20 AM

No you’re not

4:20 AM

Then I think they’re lying even MORE

4:20 AM

and I keep apologizing for talking too much or being annoying and then I feel like I’m being annoying for apologizing so much so I’ll apologize for that and…

when i feel like im annoying i just go non verbal and then walk away from them

4:21 AM

and listen to music, being cool and mysterious

I do that sometimes

4:37 AM

I’ll just stop talking and wait for someone to talk to me

4:38 AM

And if they don’t then I know I’m being annoying and they don’t like me

My online friends are the only people I can really talk to and not hide anything but they’re going through basically the same stuff. I said what if I just kill myself lololol because I was FRICKIN DEPRESSED AND FINALLY WHEN SOMEONE RESPONDED ONE JUST SAID real AND THE OTHER lowkey same I SWEAR

honestly why I’ve been dumping the last couple days because here is the only place people care and will say something

(p.s. not actually gonna kms so don’t worry about that)

I regret venting to my grandma, she's worried now

ariel

No

Rawr

7:20 PM

Im too everything

7:20 PM

In a bad way

Funny?

7:20 PM

Nice?

7:20 PM

Excited over every thing that happens?

I said in a bad way

That's not bad

7:20 PM

Right but I'm talking about the good things

🔥Robert🔥

Excited over every thing that happens?

I used to be

Used to be? Girl you were like that literally today

I think I’m just watching my life happen like it’s on tv

🔥Robert🔥

Used to be? Girl you were like that literally today

About things irl

7:21 PM

I’ll take the instant gratification but I don’t care about anything meaningful anymore

7:21 PM

And I should

Meaningful like what?

And I have to pretend I do so people don’t think I’m ungrateful

7:22 PM

Like getting my name changed my parents kept asking if I was excited and I was happy at the end for a little when the judge smiled and me and said congratulations

7:22 PM

And a lady smiled to me on the way out

7:22 PM

But then my mom wanted to go home and I wanted chick fila it was the first time I’d asked to eat out in months

7:23 PM

Where someone wasn’t already going and offered it to me

7:23 PM

I just wanted drive through and to eat on the way back home it was on the way but my mom tilted her head back up to the ceiling and her eyes went to the back of her eyes and she sighed like uggghhhh

7:23 PM

Im too needy

7:23 PM

and it makes people feel bad

7:24 PM

Thats why I don’t ask for things like eating out

7:24 PM

Unless I actually want to

That's not needy

*it

7:24 PM

Reallt bad

That day was just a long day

no it was needy

Where she was tired from it, it made you hungry

It was only 11 am

7:24 PM

The court hearing was 7 minutes maybe

7:24 PM

No one was tired

7:24 PM

I just asked for too much

7:25 PM

I ask for too much food

Chick fil a isn't too much, you weren't asking to go shopping, and get food, and go to a trampoline park

7:25 PM

You just wanted something to eat

7:25 PM

That's not needy

Once we got there I got a fruit cup and my mom said it was expensive

7:26 PM

Cause it was the same price as a meal

7:26 PM

Or like

7:26 PM

Fries I dunno

7:26 PM

I really liked it though

🔥Robert🔥

You just wanted something to eat

I normally eat at home

Girl I do that too

I never eat too much because when I do my mom gets sad

I always ask for 3 hot n spicy's at mcdonalds, or a WHOLE box of tacos at taco Bell

7:27 PM

She says no but, it's worth a shot

teabee

I never eat too much because when I do my mom gets sad

Why?

Yesterday I binged like 960 cals and was at like 1600 so I had to purge and I did and one of those things was a 600 cal thing of ravioli I ate the WHOLE box

7:28 PM

And my mom asked if there was any left

7:28 PM

And I said no and she got sad

Was she sad you ate too much or that there was just nothing left?

Nothing left

7:29 PM

But there was nothing left cayse I ate all of it in one sitting

7:29 PM

Thats eating too much and I wasted the food too

You were hungry

7:29 PM

Simple as that

teabee

Yesterday I binged like 960 cals and was at like 1600 so I had to purge and I did and one of those things was a 600 cal thing of ravioli I ate the WHOLE box

1600 cal is not a lot

I just barfed it I hate wasting food

2k would be normal

snifferoftheglue

1600 cal is not a lot

It was like 2 pm and I’d gain

snifferoftheglue

2k would be normal

Not for me

teabee

It was like 2 pm and I’d gain

THATS THE POINT YOU NEED TO GAIN

You puked it up?

isn't that wasting it more than eating it

IM NOT UNDERWEIGJT

🔥Robert🔥

You puked it up?

isn't that wasting it more than eating it

IK AND I FEEL SO BAD WHENEVER I DO

If you think you eat a lot you would not wanna come to our house

teabee

IK AND I FEEL SO BAD WHENEVER I DO

SO FUCKING DONT

🔥Robert🔥

If you think you eat a lot you would not wanna come to our house

fr my mom is a feeder

We're poor and my mummy always says I drink too much Dr Pepper

I do and she's right but I'm addicted

But I’ll just be sad or really hungry and go off the rails I’ll eat smth like some chocolate and it’ll be like 100 cals and I’ll be like welp I guess I have to barf now so I eat more because I’ll barf anyways

not as bad as my dads mother in law, I thought she was gonna slap me until I ate more on thanksgiving

The only justification I have it that my dad is trying to lose weight so if I eat it he can’t

teabee

But I’ll just be sad or really hungry and go off the rails I’ll eat smth like some chocolate and it’ll be like 100 cals and I’ll be like welp I guess I have to barf now so I eat more because I’ll barf anyways

100 cal aint shit

7:31 PM

eat it and enjoy it

And it’s all junk so it would hurt my family anyways

life isnt about weight

I enjoyed it and that’s all I need to do not to waste it

snifferoftheglue

life isnt about weight

Maybe for you

7:32 PM

Ugh I need to walk I’ve been in bed all day

snifferoftheglue

100 cal aint shit

Ik but it’s that I didn’t eat smth more filling and better like an apple

teabee

Maybe for you

no its not for me and it shouldn't be as much of your life as it is

well it is

7:33 PM

Im too much of everything

7:33 PM

I don’t want to be

7:34 PM

I wanna be unnoticeable

7:34 PM

And my legs are way too big they’re the most noticeable

7:34 PM

I just need to be smaller so no one notices me

7:34 PM

Then I’ll stop asking for food and stop being a problem to my mom (edited)

7:35 PM

I’ll burn less calories per day cause there’ll be less of me yk there so I won’t waste extra food and calories

7:35 PM

Thats all i need

snifferoftheglue

no its not for me and it shouldn't be as much of your life as it is

Having an eating disorder is really hard. Your sentiment is genuine but its like telling a depressed person to "just be happy" for someone who struggles with eating disorders or physical appearance struggles how they look and feel is everything, Calorie counting is everything, That number on the scale is everything.

genuinely

teabee

genuinely

Im sorry youre going through this friend. Its hard, We can talk about safe eating practices if youd like?

I don’t want to eat more

7:48 PM

and Im fine I have my electrolyte drinks and coffee

7:48 PM

And I’m not underweight

teabee

I don’t want to eat more

Exactly. So what you do eat is really important. Theres a lot of super low calorie high nutrient foods you may want to consider.

DËFCØN

Exactly. So what you do eat is really important. Theres a lot of super low calorie high nutrient foods you may want to consider.

I do eat those

7:49 PM

Bc they’re high volume so I’m fuller

7:49 PM

I had brown rice and almond milk and mangos for breakfast

7:50 PM

Yummy

Sounds like youve got it down then. I was a chronic overeater for a long time so I understand food struggles pretty intimately

help I used to be so bulimic and kinda still am

7:51 PM

Why does food have to be the answer and source of all my problems

7:51 PM

But thanks

I would not eat all day and then sneak out of my room at like 11 and eat lime four bags of chips and a bunch of freezer food

I only binge at night

7:54 PM

I dunno why

7:54 PM

But once I went down at like 10 and ate cereal with real milk instead of almond milk

7:54 PM

And chocolates

7:54 PM

7:55 PM

Food is evil

7:55 PM

That’s why I’m boycotting it

@teabee i’m gonna give you some advice ok.. i’m not in the shoes you are in but i feel like i should still mention you’re young, very young. This means you shouldn’t neglect your health based on the thoughts you have, what people say, you read online, or what you think is right. Just live life and enjoy every bit of it because you’re only in the first 1 procent of it and have a lot more to go, so don’t neglect the one and only body you’ll be using for that journey. I recommend you speak to either your parents or whoever is the closest grown up to you to help get professional help, it doesn’t need to cost a lot, and it doesn’t need to be a hassle. People are here to help and want the best for you so you can grow into a more fulfilled you. There will always be people who love you no matter what you look like, and let me be honest i looked like shit at your age, just take the time and recommended steps by higher up people to become that better you. It really doesn’t matter what you look like now or in 10 to 20 years, there is always that one person for you, and god damn we are nearly at 10 billion i think we’ve got plenty of choice. Legit just go outside and treat yourself to the help you need and deserve.

I don’t want to burden them

9:43 PM

You can’t convince me to tell someone genuinely don’t try I would disappoint you

9:44 PM

All I know is I have a fallback because if I lose too much I’ll be admitted to an ed ward and I’m planning to stop at a certain weigh even though I don’t want to

9:44 PM

So my health won’t be too affected at all I won’t become that underweight

9:45 PM

This is just my life

teabee

So my health won’t be too affected at all I won’t become that underweight

"just because you can doesnt mean you should"

It’ll probably get better as I talk more with my bf even though it’s online my self esteem is pretty low and once I recovered a bit because a different guy made me feel happy

teabee

I don’t want to burden them

You’re not burdening anyone just get help omg

9:46 PM

It’s legit some people their job

9:46 PM

Holy fuck

9:46 PM

These people get PAID to help you (edited)

No their feelings I already crushed my parents so much with some other stuff I’m not doing that again

9:46 PM

But seriously don’t bother

teabee

This is just my life

But it doesn’t need to be? So why not try to take matter into your own hands and change it, don’t be a hardhead

Im alright i still eat just enough because im worried enough for my health and want good grades

Just

9:47 PM

Can’t you just eat normal

no

Why

It feels like a moral failing

I missed the bullshit excuse for not eating healthy lore

That I could dare eat that much food

9:48 PM

I don’t want to be like this…

9:48 PM

Your body is growing bro

9:48 PM

Ofc it needs FOOD

9:48 PM

That how humans work?!?!

Ugh I don’t wanna argue this happens too often

?

9:48 PM

Just

9:48 PM

Just eat

Dont be upset

9:48 PM

Bye

I’m not tho

9:49 PM

Why bye

9:49 PM

Hold up we’re talking

9:49 PM

Did this mf just “bye” me fr

9:49 PM

@teabee get your ass back here

9:50 PM

It’s rude to leave a conversation like that

9:50 PM

Come on

what

What do you mean what

9:50 PM

You suddenly leave

what else do you want

We were talking

I told you you won’t change my mind

9:50 PM

I’ve gone through it all@before

Why not tho

9:50 PM

Like

9:50 PM

Why

9:50 PM

Why not just change

Look up what an eating disorder is

I know what it is

9:51 PM

So

9:51 PM

Get professional help

DËFCØN

Having an eating disorder is really hard. Your sentiment is genuine but its like telling a depressed person to "just be happy" for someone who struggles with eating disorders or physical appearance struggles how they look and feel is everything, Calorie counting is everything, That number on the scale is everything.

^

There is no disorder against getting help for it

9:51 PM

Only excuses

9:51 PM

And bullshit

gee thanks for making me feel better

Just get professional help

9:51 PM

Like it helps

I don’t want to est more

They wouldn’t exactly be making money if it didn’t help

Eating disorders are very complicated

teabee

I don’t want to est more

Nobody asked that tho

9:52 PM

I don’t care what you eat or don’t eat

9:52 PM

I’m asking you to get help

9:52 PM

Professional help

that means eating more seriously you won’t change my@mine

9:53 PM

*mind

No it doesn’t

Call me dumb all you want think I’m an idiot

I never said that

Luna

There is no disorder against getting help for it

Hey, Asshole. You aren't them. You don't know how their brain works. Stop trying to "help"

it does for me my doctors say I’m underweight even tho I’m not

DËFCØN

Hey, Asshole. You aren't them. You don't know how their brain works. Stop trying to "help"

Hey, mr professional are you the one getting paid?

He’s the one who isn’t dismissive of eating disorders…

Ohhhh so no degree?

9:54 PM

None?

9:54 PM

Welll

9:54 PM

So that makes everything he say’s invalid about this i hope you know that right

I read an entire book by a psychologist who specializes in eating disorders about eating disorders

Luna

Hey, mr professional are you the one getting paid?

I am not payed but I am in the mental health industry.

The first step to recovery is eating more because you can’t help someone when their brain is starved

Luna

So that makes everything he say’s invalid about this i hope you know that right

And what magically validates what you are saying?

DËFCØN

I am not payed but I am in the mental health industry.

Then how about you have an official meeting with your patient and not in a public setting

And she explains how eating disorders are complicated and the hardest to treat

9:55 PM

It’s not about eating it’s the years of trauma and conditioning I’ve been through that’s still happening

DËFCØN

And what magically validates what you are saying?

I’m not the one giving bullshit cures or advice here, i’m only directing this person to people who actually know how shit works

I’ve tried to ask my mom not to say certain things but she still does

Luna

Then how about you have an official meeting with your patient and not in a public setting

They arent my patient, They are a fellow human that I hold respect for. I am not seeking a cure for them.

Luna

I’m not the one giving bullshit cures or advice here, i’m only directing this person to people who actually know how shit works

Are you a mental health professional?

Are YOU?

Luna

I’m not the one giving bullshit cures or advice here, i’m only directing this person to people who actually know how shit works

girl

DËFCØN

They arent my patient, They are a fellow human that I hold respect for. I am not seeking a cure for them.

Then isn’t your job to guide this person to someone who knows what the fuck they are doing

Luna

Are YOU?

Your opinion that brute forcing someone with an eating disorder into eating or into professional help is stupid.

Uh

9:57 PM

Yes

9:57 PM

Professional help is called help for a reason

I told you I don’t want help because it’ll make my parents said and it’s fucking humiliating and I’d have to be sent to a ward where my grades would drop whilst being forced to eat and wanting to kill myself but being in a ward where I won’t be able as I slowly go insane and try to work through the root of it just to think I’m better and go home for everything to be the exact same

It’s uh

9:58 PM

The reason it’s called health care

Luna

Then isn’t your job to guide this person to someone who knows what the fuck they are doing

Mental Health care is a choice. I don't dictate what others do.

Theres no guarantee for getting better

You cant force people into doing what you want just because you believe its right.

Bro if mental health care is a choice then get the fuck outta this channel

yeah…

9:58 PM

(To volf)

Talking to this person IS giving mental health care

I just want to be left alone

Hereby you are giving the thing you just told me i shouldn’t be giving

Don’t argue because of me

You’re contradicting yourself

I don’t want to be a problem

teabee

Don’t argue because of me

No we’re not i don’t care

I don’t want to cause problems

Luna

Talking to this person IS giving mental health care

No. Im just offering support and kindness. And offering healthy food choices.

Stop arguing

No

Please

I am not diagnosing, Or treating them.

I don’t like people arguing

9:59 PM

Please stop

DËFCØN

No. Im just offering support and kindness. And offering healthy food choices.

Don’t just stfu and guide them to help dumbo

@Alex - Praise Glitter Glue

9:59 PM

Help

teabee

I don’t like people arguing

Why are you having an online panick attack bro we’re not fighting

10:00 PM

This is a conversation

10:00 PM

Conversations exist lol

you’re arguing because of me

No

10:00 PM

We are legit not

We arent arguing.

Yes I started it

I could not care less about you

If the reason this all came up in the first place

Nah

Even if it’s not about me anymore

Ok and

It’s my fault and I don’t want to cause things like this

teabee

It’s my fault and I don’t want to cause things like this

This is just a conversation homie.

I’m just telling an under schooled person how actually helping a person works when they don’t have a degree for the shit they preach lmao

Im talk too much

DËFCØN

This is just a conversation homie.

You don’t like each other

teabee

It’s my fault and I don’t want to cause things like this

teabee

You don’t like each other

Says who?

Homie is having a full on mental breakdown in chat over two people talking

teabee

You don’t like each other

Imma kiss this mf rn

10:02 PM

On the lips

Oh ok…

DËFCØN

Says who?

I just figured

10:03 PM

Are you guys done now? I’m sorry

I apologize that became off topic, But we were not arguing. Just discussing different opinions

I guess…

teabee

Are you guys done now? I’m sorry

Have you never heard of the word “discussion”

10:09 PM

It's a group of people “discussing” certain topics and they’re differing opinions about it

10:09 PM

Lol

You were being rude to each other insulting and stuff

10:11 PM

Thats a lot different from the discussions I have but whatever

10:11 PM

It doesn’t matter

Im too sick and tired to do my hw and I don’t think it’ll get better later in the day

I don't know how to help my friend and it's really not a good feeling ya know

Grahg I wanna make a dad joke but it doesn't fit the convo at all errghh

I'm a cis guy with a FTM boyfriend. I have never felt so understood in my life he's amazing. But I have straight guy friends who constantly say she and have said that if they see him they're using she/her i have really good discipline but things like that have been getting to me (edited)

MaeDei

I'm a cis guy with a FTM boyfriend. I have never felt so understood in my life he's amazing. But I have straight guy friends who constantly say she and have said that if they see him they're using she/her i have really good discipline but things like that have been getting to me (edited)

I don’t interact with people who can’t respect either me or my partner tbh

11:54 AM

I search for people who do

I should it's just hard and Im not sure where you're from but I'm from way down in southeastern America so its a ton of hillbillies down here.

MaeDei

I should it's just hard and Im not sure where you're from but I'm from way down in southeastern America so its a ton of hillbillies down here.

Belgium lol

Bro got deleted

I deleted myself

1:20 PM

It was the wrong channel

Luna

Belgium lol

no.... ur from belgium?

EmVee

no.... ur from belgium?

Yeah!

no...

What

2:02 PM

I’m so confused

2:02 PM

@EmVee what

no...

SPEAK

2:03 PM

What is wrong

2:03 PM

Why no

what province..

Currently west vlaanderen but i’m moving to antwerpen

NO

2:03 PM

yes go to antwerpen plz

Why

2:03 PM

What

further away from me

WHAT

2:04 PM

Explain please

2:04 PM

Do i know you or smth

ur way to close

2:04 PM

go to antwerpen

Wdym

2:04 PM

Why is that bad lmao

2:04 PM

Currently in middelkerke

2:05 PM

Living there

go play in the water

EmVee

go play in the water

Can you explain what is wrong please

2:06 PM

What is on your mind

Luna

Belgium lol

@EmVee

4:45 PM

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

No i hate them

what

4:46 PM

But but they’re in Belgium

So what

You were saying that no one’s in Belgium and there is someone !!

And I don’t like that person

aww

4:49 PM

I mean me either but for a different reason

Ooo

4:52 PM

Tell me @teabee

EmVee

No i hate them

For no reason lol

Original message was deleted or could not be loaded.

we venting about it

Please move to general

EmVee

Tell me @teabee

She basically called me dumb for not wanting to recover from my ed completely ignoring the core beliefs in an ed every single person with a restrictive Ed has except for those random exceptions

whats an ed

People with Eds have 0 self esteem (me), don’t wanna burden their family or hurt people because of it (me) never think they’re sick enough even if they weigh like 60 lbs because there’s always someone sicker (me but I don’t weigh so little) want to recover but don’t want to have to eat more because restricting or binging and purging or whatever and getting smaller is how they exist in the world and eating feels like a huge moral wrong doing that makes them an awful person (me) and doesn’t want people to pity them because they don’t think they’re that bad (me) and mainly just wants to deal with it on their own for all those reasons and don’t wanna hurt people (me) (edited)

EmVee

whats an ed

Eating disorder

we hate her

And she said I’m full of bullshit excuses

5:09 PM

EmVee

we hate her

Fr

5:10 PM

Like I don’t want to get help cause I’ll have to eat more and that would make me feel guilty like I murdered someone’s entire family and everyone would worry so I’d hurt people

5:11 PM

But I guess me not wanting to feel like I wanna kms and not hurt the people I love are just ‘bullshit excuses’

‍♂️ (edited)

Does anyone have any advice on how to move on from someone you were confident you were gonna spend the rest of your life with?

ΣᄃᄂIPƧΣ

Does anyone have any advice on how to move on from someone you were confident you were gonna spend the rest of your life with?

No..

ΣᄃᄂIPƧΣ

Does anyone have any advice on how to move on from someone you were confident you were gonna spend the rest of your life with?

id suggest getting a pet

I have one, three infact

Get another !!!

1:25 AM

wait is it that girl because don’t give up on her nooooo

1:25 AM

9 months is nothing compared to a lifetime

1:25 AM

!!!

8 now, gotta wait until September (edited)

1:34 AM

But do recognize that it feels like a new hole gets ripped in my heart every day. I go through an unimaginable amount of anguish, having to think every night about one thing I could've done different, how alone I feel and how oh so desperately I need something even close to intimate, even if shallow

1:35 AM

It's a horrible feeling that keeps me on the edge of death, making sure I'm always dangling over, but never fall

Aw :(

2:02 AM

Well it’ll happen eventually

2:02 AM

9 to 8 months!

Aghhhh

4:06 PM

I hate breaking stuff by accident

4:06 PM

On purpose it's fun as shit

4:06 PM

But like

4:06 PM

Otherwise it's just so painful

Yeah :(

7:47 PM

I have to eat at my grandmas and I love her sm but oh my@god I’m so scared but at the same time I know I’m not gonna die or anything but AAAAA

7:47 PM

Or I don’t have to she invited me and I went yes ily

7:48 PM

I’ll be fine but I won’t but I will bc I don’t remember every single time I’ve eaten at her house and go omg I never should’ve eaten sm blah blah blah bc I’ll literally forget this ever happened but in the moment it’s WAAAA

7:48 PM

Little vent

7:49 PM

I’m not looking for reassurance or anything so dw I just AAAAAAA but ik I’ll be fine

1

what was it

12:14 AM

And update I was fine and it was good and I was happy

Epic

1

12:31 AM

Also the thing that was deleted was someone "confessing" something I can't remember what

Must've not been very interesting

Soaring :3

Also the thing that was deleted was someone "confessing" something I can't remember what

Oh no

Im gonna kinda of vent but I want to break up w my bf even though I still really like him, I love him so much and I know he loves me as well but I feel that our relationship is not what i want for me. I've talked to my friends about it and they told me that I'm selfish for trying to ruin a "perfect relationship" but I dont know I love him and he love me but Idk if we should be together

2:16 AM

it also adds that we've been togather for almost 2 years

Elvis

Im gonna kinda of vent but I want to break up w my bf even though I still really like him, I love him so much and I know he loves me as well but I feel that our relationship is not what i want for me. I've talked to my friends about it and they told me that I'm selfish for trying to ruin a "perfect relationship" but I dont know I love him and he love me but Idk if we should be together

Well a good first step is to talk about it together and find compromises. If you've done this and it's failed, then you should lightly bring up the idea of you leaving, which will either put on enough pressure for him to adapt to what you want or will ultimately end up in you two breaking up. Also your friends are dumb, no relationship is perfect and even if two people love eachother that doesn't mean they're good for eachother or play well off of their weaknesses

2:28 AM

But two years is a long time, make sure to tie up loose ends and resolve eachothers feelings. If things aren't fully resolved, things can't get ugly very quickly

ΣᄃᄂIPƧΣ

Well a good first step is to talk about it together and find compromises. If you've done this and it's failed, then you should lightly bring up the idea of you leaving, which will either put on enough pressure for him to adapt to what you want or will ultimately end up in you two breaking up. Also your friends are dumb, no relationship is perfect and even if two people love eachother that doesn't mean they're good for eachother or play well off of their weaknesses

Ah thank you, I never wanted to bring it to him because he cares for me a lot I feel like he’ll take it badly if I bring the fact that I don’t think our relationship is good

All good partners need to know what they can do better

1

i cant even cry

7:48 AM

i just sit there with a mild headache

God it's been such a long time since the pandemic, I forgot it's what fucked my life up

Pain

Maybe if the pandemic never happened, my parents wouldn't have fought as often. Maybe If the pandemic never happened, I could've had all my friends. Maybe If the pandemic never happened, I would've formed my own identity. Maybe if the pandemic never happened I could've kept all my friends and made more without a life condemned to isolation. Just maybe, maybe if the pandemic never happened, they wouldn't have gotten divorced, and I would've never had to struggle for myself in this shithole. Having my every tiny flaw pointed out every day, all because I was too scared of my dad, just cause he screamed at me and hit me a few times. I can only think about what if the pandemic never happened. Maybe I would've never met her, and we wouldn't have to feel the bitter pain of separation for months. My mom says everything happens for a reason, but this isn't the best my life could've gone, or the most progressive. All I've ended up with is a shattered soul, and the broken dreams of a child now turned jaded adult. What would have changed? Would I have actually formed an identity? I don't believe this happened for a reason, not a single second

1

tw: sh and mild blood this is mainly vent, so its going here.

1:15 AM

theorize as you will

I just want a bf

2:29 AM

Or a gf

2:29 AM

Like

2:29 AM

So lonley

2:46 AM

I just want someone to love

2:46 AM

And someone to love me

nolan

I just want a bf

Me too

I hope you find someone

I want to die, but I don’t want to walk a mile, then climb a lot of stairs, just to jump off a building and have a quick, guaranteed, painless death

Ninjaparkour

I want to die, but I don’t want to walk a mile, then climb a lot of stairs, just to jump off a building and have a quick, guaranteed, painless death

I’m so sorry you’re going through that, however you need to consult professional help if that is the case. No one here is a licensed professional that can help you with that. Again, so sorry for whatever you’re going through but you can’t talk like that within this server either as it’s potentially harmful to other users.

I can't stop thinking about my ex, ik he used me but Everytime we texted an stuff was some of the happiest moments of my life an idk if I'll ever feel that way again.

everyone who wants to vent to me, my dms are open, i'll never judge you of who you are what you look like or what youve been through. <33

I dont even understand how I lived a year without you Dante, I miss you so much. Someday we will meet again. Youre still in my sunsets. Beautiful Beautiful Boy.

Sometimes when I look back, I realize I never loved him, the boy who I called sun, the men with the upmost crafted body and with face full of beauty, it was not he who I fell in love, his strong touch, his dark eyes, his hair his eyebrow scar, his sweet voice, his jokes, our laughter, I remember all the times he allowed me to rest my head at his legs and realize, I fell in love with the thought that one day, somehow for some reason, he would love me. That despite the odds, there was hope, that there was a possibility of reciprocity, that he could love me (edited)

8:08 AM

The sun feels a lot colder, the sky doesnt shine one fourths as bright, my soul again in darkness, as it should be

8:10 AM

In the death of love, in the dying of light, we would give anything to keep it alive. You realize that dark is right.

God I am fucking insomniatic

11:28 AM

4:30 and I'm wide fucking awake

11:29 AM

Why cant my body just shut down? Why must I be tormented by my conscious. I wanna sleep, but I'm simply not tired enough

Now that I think about it, maybe I don't want to sleep

12:21 PM

I dream about the same thing every night

12:22 PM

Me, and my ex, are in a lodge. It's snowing out, and I'm sitting on the couch, watching netflix

12:22 PM

She comes up, and snuggles with me inside my blanket, and we kiss, and turn our attention back towards the screen (edited)

12:23 PM

Before I know it, it's night, and we're on the couch. Now in a different much more cuddly position

12:23 PM

And we eventually drift off together, with the TV in the background

12:23 PM

And then I wake up

12:23 PM

Sad, and alone

12:24 PM

Im tired of having the same good dream over and over again. It torments me, ripping my happiness away, and making sure I can't ever be satisfied with my life

12:24 PM

And the universe isn't kind enough to let me keep dreaming forever

12:25 PM

I don't wanna sleep. I wanna move on. I don't wanna be tormented by my psychology anymore. I know I'll just wake up, texting her hoping she sees it somehow

12:26 PM

In some sense, I've become absolutely terrified to sleep

12:26 PM

And I feel a shock of fear every time I take my meds

12:27 PM

I miss her so much

Would anyone care if I left

7:04 AM

I don’t wanna be here sometimes

7:04 AM

But I can’t leave

7:04 AM

I need to stay for others

7:04 AM

And I constantly think about just leaving

7:04 AM

But it would hurt some people

7:05 AM

I just wish I didn’t let myself go

7:05 AM

Maybe then I wouldn’t be so lonely

Leave if you feel like it

9:51 AM

If you'd rather leave I think the others in question would understand

No like

1:22 PM

Leave life

I care

Oh shit

1:24 PM

I thought your were talking about the server

1:24 PM

I mean why would you want to leave life in the first place

1:24 PM

Plus Jinx cares so yeah

Yeah I care

1:25 PM

He’s my best friend

Huh

1:25 PM

I would be pretty pissed off if my best friend implied I wouldn't care if they left

I am

Understandable

1:26 PM

Then you're a good friend

1:26 PM

@nolan you have good friends

JanotLeLapin

Then you're a good friend

Thanks

It'd be a shame to leave life when you have this much

1:27 PM

I know that suicidal thoughts are irrational so I don't think I can convince you not to commit die with reasoning

1:28 PM

But according to me as long as I have friends

1:28 PM

That rely on me

1:28 PM

I couldn't kms

JanotLeLapin

@nolan you have good friends

I know

Plus I have an adorable black cat

But sometimes I’m just unhappy with life

Yeah I can totally understand that

1:29 PM

But it gets better over time

I know

1:29 PM

It’s weird it’s off and on

1:29 PM

I go from wanting to kms to being totally fine

Huh

1:30 PM

That's weird

1:30 PM

Have you considered speaking with a doctor

No

Therapy kinda bs (edited)

I mean

1:34 PM

Yeah I can agree to some extent

1:34 PM

But at the same time

1:35 PM

My experience with psychologists and psychiatrists was very bad

1:36 PM

But with my doctor and a cognitive behavioral therapist was very good (edited)

1:36 PM

So it depends

I guess so

Either way if you have an issue

1:37 PM

You may fix it temporarily with medication

1:37 PM

Or drugs

Yeah that’s what I do rn

But if you want to fix it on the long run you have to put in a lot of work

Mix of meds and caffeine

Oh

1:38 PM

What meds if I may ask

Setralin ablizof

Never heard of it

1:38 PM

Lemme do a quick search

Idk how spell

1:39 PM

I’ll check when I get home

No way

1:39 PM

It's an SSRI

1:39 PM

I used to take one of these

Nice

It works on most people

1:40 PM

Are you taking these for depression or anxiety?

Yeah I chew pure caffeine along with it

JanotLeLapin

Are you taking these for depression or anxiety?

Both

Huh

1:41 PM

That's unlucky

Yeah TwT

I hope you get better soon

Thanks

And I hope you don't need medication anymore soon

1:41 PM

But the thing with SSRIs

1:41 PM

If you stop taking your medication too fast

1:41 PM

You might kill yourself

Damn

Yeah so

1:42 PM

Be careful with that

Ok

1:44 PM

That's the full list of potential withdrawal effects

1:44 PM

According to psychonautwiki

1:44 PM

For most SSRIs

Shit

Amongst these I experienced depression, anxiety, irritability, motivation suppression and dream potentation

1:45 PM

Im glad Im off these little pills

1:45 PM

So if you want to stop too

1:45 PM

Don't do it too fast

My doses are big

1:45 PM

TwT

That means your withdrawal subjective effects will be big as well unfortunately

Yeah sadly

Your doctor will most likely tell you the same thing when you stop taking this medication

1:47 PM

So

Yeah probably

When you do stop you divide your dosage by two for one month

1:47 PM

If you're feeling good then in the next month you divide by two again

1:47 PM

And then you most likely can stop

1:47 PM

If you start having bad thoughts immediatly switch back to the original dosage

Oki thanks

But never take more than the prescribed dosage in one day (edited)

Ok

Stay safe gamers

I’ll try

JanotLeLapin

You might kill yourself

I stopped taking my ssri a few days ago since i should have been stopping them slowly some time ago but i ran out a few days ago and didn’t get new ones

Relatable scenario

2:34 PM

In that case uh

2:35 PM

Well it depends on your dosage but

2:35 PM

Good luck anyways

JanotLeLapin

Relatable scenario

I’m coping and seething, only negative effect so far is weird ass hard dreams but idc

Lucky

2:36 PM

During withdrawal I couldn't get out of bed

2:36 PM

And I just kept being angry and sad

JanotLeLapin

Click to see attachment 🖼️

I just deal with it and if something negative come along i make it positive, focus suppression? I start focussing, anxiety? I stop being scared, etc, like i give 0 fucks and i’m happy af so i have no need for shit ass ssri’s, i just cope and seeth and shit will be fine ig (edited)

Shit

2:37 PM

That's brave

I’m to happy to be worrying about dumb side effects lmao

2:38 PM

I just think about how there is no reason to feel bad because my life is great rn sooo i stop it by ignoring it

2:38 PM

And when i don’t care i don’t feel it

2:38 PM

I feel amazing

JanotLeLapin

Click to see attachment 🖼️

The Brain Zaps are honestly kinda scary lol, Youll be driving, Or doing something and just all the sudden "BZZT" and your vision like twitches. Its wack

Yo ima a disappointment

9:20 PM

Ima disappear

9:20 PM

And no one’s gonna find me

9:20 PM

Until they go to hell

DËFCØN

The Brain Zaps are honestly kinda scary lol, Youll be driving, Or doing something and just all the sudden "BZZT" and your vision like twitches. Its wack

Yeah that sounds terrifying

12:37 AM

That's one of the reasons why I stopped taking le funny medication

I wish I wasn’t always the second option

1:53 AM

Anyone would choose someone else over me

I hate myself

2:05 AM

Im being a little bitch

2:06 AM

Idfc atp

Wdym

Idk anymore

2:33 AM

I’m jealous bc I like my friend and when they flirt with their friends as a joke it makes me mad

2:33 AM

And idk why

2:34 AM

And it’s really getting to me

:-(

fuck yea I love it when people give up on life so fuckin easily

4:39 AM

Hoo Yah

4:39 AM

wdym by that

just bullshit with my job

Oh

i'll be fine in a few minutes, just man fuck that horseshit

What is your job

I'm in school to be a HM in the navy

oh

and part of that job is to do a watch called save a sailor, one can infer what that means

nolan

I’m jealous bc I like my friend and when they flirt with their friends as a joke it makes me mad

That sucks

Yeah

Why don't people just tell me when they don't want to be my friend anymore? Most of them just ghost me and eventually unfriend me without even telling me. It's so damn annoying. I just wish people were more straightforward and would actually communicate with me.

Same

1:11 AM

And if I did something wrong, say so

1:11 AM

If we can't work it out then fine but if we can, then fucking communicate

1:11 AM

Let's work it out, g's

Exactly! It's so annoying when people just hide it when they don't like something I said. How am I supposed to know? Besides, misunderstandings happen. Just talk to me, letting it fester is much worse

And if I didn't do anything wrong why you gotta leave

1:25 AM

As if I did

I think it's fine if someone feels like we just didn't click, but at least actually tell me instead of ignoring me... I've had so many people express interest in being friends only to literally never reach out to me again. Or only talk to me when I DM them and the moment I don't they just seem to forget I exist...

Update: I relapsed

I sometimes wonder if being sweet to people pays off. I’m nice to everyone I meet, but in the end, it’s me who ends up heartbroken and hurt. Maybe I’m just too nice, and people don’t like that.

I feel so guilty of myself idk why there was a pedophile that added me and he said he was my age I believe Ed him and he did stuff I cannot stop feeling guilty

Loneliness Anxiety Depression Insomnia Stress Abandonment issues Shittty friends Idk when it will end.....I'm just tired of everything....... (edited)

hecto_<

I feel so guilty of myself idk why there was a pedophile that added me and he said he was my age I believe Ed him and he did stuff I cannot stop feeling guilty

I'm sorry

for u tho. And hey u do deserve better people in life. Hugs

Thx

if i'm not making perfect grades am i really worthwhile?

are you fr

autumn <33.

if i'm not making perfect grades am i really worthwhile?

You are, no matter how bad your grades are.

autumn <33.

if i'm not making perfect grades am i really worthwhile?

you’re a great person, no matter your grades. i’ve seen many success stories from people who didn’t have perfect grades, and i’m sure you’ll find some success in this world :]

autumn <33.

if i'm not making perfect grades am i really worthwhile?

Its ok to not be perfect

autumn <33.

if i'm not making perfect grades am i really worthwhile?

You can make great grades. Just don't lose hopes

4:47 AM

We aren't perfect tho

autumn <33.

if i'm not making perfect grades am i really worthwhile?

Grades are results of what you know but regardless of that fact most school systems are fucked up so you shouldn't give a fuck about what you get just make sure you pass

thank you all sm. :((

Love when my mom gets home at 9 says hi

4:07 PM

Then immediately gets to bitching at me

4:07 PM

Because I cleaned the cat box that hasnt been done in 3 days that needs to be done every other day

4:08 PM

Instead of cleaning the bathroom that got cleaned 4 days ago and has seen basically 0 use

4:08 PM

She was out all night and I can tell she’s either hungover or didnt sleep at all

4:08 PM

And in 5 hours I uave to deal with my siblings

4:08 PM

That don’t listen to anything

4:09 PM

All they do is fight whine and cry

4:09 PM

Ik kids do that

4:09 PM

But my siblings are fucking horrible

4:10 PM

All this along with no sleep and forgetting to take my meds for 3 days in a row is so fun

4:10 PM

I’m gonna try to sleep

4:11 PM

She says “you’re almost an adult! You need more responsibilities!”

4:12 PM

But then she also say “you’re only 15! You cant have x y or z for whatever bs reason”

4:13 PM

If Im almost an adult and need to have adult responsibilities

4:13 PM

Then why cant I buy a gun thats only going to go from 1000-1500 to 2000-2500 in a few years

4:13 PM

Its not like I want an AR

4:13 PM

I want a fucking M1 garand

Someone added me on snap and just wanted my pictures so bad, it just really weirded me out so I wanted to say that here

10:01 PM

I blocked him

10:02 PM

It just kinda hurt cuz I don’t think I’m actually that attractive so when only ppl online give me attention it kinda hurtz

BoomBang

It just kinda hurt cuz I don’t think I’m actually that attractive so when only ppl online give me attention it kinda hurtz

It's just a common thing in this community

11:09 PM

Sadly no fixing that

I hate guys who are fake

I’m so fucking tired of being lonley, I don’t have many friends, I’m single, everything is so shit rn. I just want someone to love, someone who won’t leave me in a week, someone who won’t leave me bc I’m fat.

4:31 AM

Im just not worth it am I

nolan

I’m so fucking tired of being lonley, I don’t have many friends, I’m single, everything is so shit rn. I just want someone to love, someone who won’t leave me in a week, someone who won’t leave me bc I’m fat.

I’m also really lonely but if I put it into perspective sometimes being “lonely” is good

5:56 AM

If you don’t learn to love yourself, you definitely can’t love someone else

5:57 AM

So maybe while you’re single, you can make yourself happy, and work on yourself further to the point where you’re happy with just yourself

5:57 AM

And from there on out there will be someone else who makes you happy

I hate this world I hate love I hate everything

6:20 AM

I’m so over trying to get one thing right in my life

6:20 AM

I won’t ever find that one person to love me

6:20 AM

It’s always about appearance and not personality

I just dread having to eat

9:17 AM

It scares me

9:18 AM

But when I don't eat my family gets mad

try mcdonalds

When I over eat my family gets mad

9:18 AM

I wish I never had to eat

I don't wanna die

9:30 AM

I don't wanna disappear

9:30 AM

I hate this

9:30 AM

I hate boys I hate girls I hate my dad

9:30 AM

And my mom

9:30 AM

I hate everyone

9:30 AM

Nobody cares about

9:30 AM

Me

9:30 AM

Nobody stays with me

9:30 AM

So I don't want to depend on anybody

9:30 AM

But I hate it at the same time

9:30 AM

I don't want to be alone

9:30 AM

But im afraid that when I get close to someone, they'll leave me

Damn

9:37 AM

That's terrible

Gewelle

And my mom

What did your parents do to make you hate them

Mom's been a bitch

9:37 AM

My whole life

9:38 AM

Drank alcohol and shot heroin while she was pregnant with me

9:38 AM

Gave me to my grandma when I was 3 days old but tried to kidnap me back when I was 4 years old

9:38 AM

She beat me and burnt me with cigs

9:39 AM

Made me drink with her

9:39 AM

Then cops came, went to court, lived with my grandma ever since

9:39 AM

Never has she tried to contact me

9:40 AM

My dad's homophobic and says my gender dysphoria isn't real

9:40 AM

He gets set off so easily

9:42 AM

He shuts me down everytime I tell him about my passions and dreams

9:44 AM

And my grandparents think that all my issues are because of "that damn phone"

Yeah that sucks

9:47 AM

But you know

9:47 AM

Someday you'l be independent

I just got everything sorted

9:48 AM

I had ideas

9:48 AM

I hat opportunities

9:48 AM

I had motivation

9:48 AM

And then it all just came tumbling down

I understand how that feels

JanotLeLapin

I understand how that feels

If he wanted to hear that he would go to a therapist

7:37 PM

You can't understand because every situation is different

7:37 PM

Never say that to someone who's venting

Uhm

7:39 PM

I'll say whatever I want to whoever I want

7:39 PM

If he doesn't want a reaction then just don't vent?

7:39 PM

Plus I do understand how that feels

love when my sister steps on my foot (by accident) and I say "come on [name]" and get bitched at my mom

snifferoftheglue

love when my sister steps on my foot (by accident) and I say "come on [name]" and get bitched at my mom

brother things

I feel like I try to hard for others to like me and like my personality I feel like I try so hard and get slapped in my face

And it happened again I was blocked by someone who got overwhelmed by me I give up

5:35 AM

Love doesn’t exist to me anymore

I’m sure you’ll find someone

5:36 AM

It takes time

Idk anymore

5:37 AM

I feel like giving up on everything

Don’t friend, you’ll find your someone

I’m just gonna cry myself to sleep at this point

I mean one thing though, ask yourself this: Why do I want someone else?

Because I hate myself and I want to distract myself from me

If this lack of love from someone else hurts you so much then I think you need to love yourself more first

5:39 AM

Exactly though

5:39 AM

You can’t love someone else without loving yourself first

But you aren’t getting it

5:39 AM

No one is

If you do then you just place your self worth on what other people think

𓇽𝒟𝒶𝓌𝓃𓇽

Because I hate myself and I want to distract myself from me

But pookie you said it right here, I’m telling you a relationship no matter how insightful you think it is will not help you if you don’t help yourself first

I don’t need help

But then do you need a relationship?

This is why I don’t fucking vent

I should’ve kept it to myself

Okay well maybe we have different ways of going about problems we have, sorry if anything I said upset you but that’s just the advice I have

Literally crying my eyes out because of this bs I’m dealing with

5:43 AM

I’ve dealt with irritability my whole life and not once has anyone told me hey your beautiful or that I matter I guess it’s because i don’t

5:43 AM

I was put on this earth as a mistake

I think everyone has a part of themselves that is beautiful, and I don’t even know what you look like physically but it doesn’t matter bc everyone has purpose and their own flaws and beauties

Mhm!